srmarymichael Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 [quote name='Laurentina1975' date='Feb 16 2006, 01:11 PM']In one particular community, one which I am not really interested in discerning with further (and have been honest and told them this), still keeps in contact with me. And it's totally cool, but a couple of the Sisters want to come over Monday and have lunch with me and I think it is really sweet and all, but I don't want them to feel like I am going to enter their community. I have already said that I do not feel called to this community to the VD. Then another community I was discerning with, the opposite occured, I decided I wasn't feeling called to them either. The Vocation Director didn't want anything to do with me after I made the point that I wanted to look into other communities. That was fine as well. So I am like really confused now. [/quote] Let me put 2 cents in here. Sometimes you have to look past the Vocation Directors. Sometimes they make mistakes (like me). You're actually looking at the Community and where God is calling (not the VD). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted February 18, 2006 Share Posted February 18, 2006 CAN you look past the VD though? I mean, if the VD doesn't feel you're called, or as Lauren said, wouldn't have anything to do with her, then you really can't get past her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
srmarymichael Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 18 2006, 12:03 PM']CAN you look past the VD though? I mean, if the VD doesn't feel you're called, or as Lauren said, wouldn't have anything to do with her, then you really can't get past her. [right][snapback]891203[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I was referring to the weird behavior..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 Oh. . . sorry. I've been a little out of it today and yesterday. Sewing my heart out.! But I'll leave those details for the other thread! : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixtina87 Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 yahoo!!!! sew your heart away girl!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurentina1975 Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 [quote name='srmarymichael' date='Feb 18 2006, 07:43 PM']I was referring to the weird behavior..... [right][snapback]891458[/snapback][/right] [/quote] It's really no biggie any longer (like over and done with)...but when you are beginning in discernment, you see everything in rose-colored glasses. I think a lot of younger people like to see religious as perfect and pious. Also, you see the the VD as "representing the community" because they are the gatekeepers ya know? But it's all a journey - a learning experience - and we can take peoples differences and embrace them or we can dwell on the bad. I guess in my case, I was confused because this particular VD saw it as kind of a business relationship and I saw it as a spiritual journey. I had developed what I thought was a positive experience and wanted to see that grow ~ no matter where God is calling me. I felt kind of bad about it because I saw it as a positive experience where I learned. What I learned was to embrace others differences (good or bad). SO I dunno...just my thoughts on the whole scenario......but thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurentina1975 Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 18 2006, 12:03 PM']CAN you look past the VD though? I mean, if the VD doesn't feel you're called, or as Lauren said, wouldn't have anything to do with her, then you really can't get past her. [right][snapback]891203[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Yes, Divine Intervention! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I think what I meant, was if the VD doesn't allow you past her, then that's pretty much your answer that you aren't called there. I didn't mean, 'can't look past' as an emotional thing. Am I making sense? Probably not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurentina1975 Posted February 19, 2006 Author Share Posted February 19, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 19 2006, 12:25 AM']I think what I meant, was if the VD doesn't allow you past her, then that's pretty much your answer that you aren't called there. I didn't mean, 'can't look past' as an emotional thing. Am I making sense? Probably not. [right][snapback]891599[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Well the VD was allowing me past her. There was no talk that I wasn't called there until some wierd things started happening (which I can talk to you about in more detail off of this thread). What happened was she left her ministry as VD and wanted me to continue with the new VD (totally understandable) and I accepted that she had moved on. However, I still wanted to keep in touch and email once in a while. I noticed that when I tried to keep in touch, she didn't want to, couldn't or whatever...I don't know because we never talked. Anywhoo ~ I wasn't totally closed off to the idea of that particular community until she changed ministries. My parents gave her a kitchen table, dishes, silverware, a couple couches and some other odds and ends from their other home they sold. I took a couple days off from work to help her move into her apartment. AFTER THAT, she kind of cut off contact. It's not that I was "expecting" anything from her, because we as Christians should give freely without wanting something in return...BUT during the entire transition, she made me feel as if she was really concerned about my vocation. She gave me her card, her cell number and told me I could visit. While in the car (on the way to helping her move), she said to me this: "I do not want to scandalize you or cause you to lose your faith". EXACT WORDS. At the time, I was a little weired out by the comment because I didn't know what it meant. I asked her later in a letter because when I woke up the next morning, I felt weirded out about it. She never answered my question. So after all this and not really feeling too called to begin with (but felt worth giving it a try), I felt kind of used and like she pretty much never cared about my future. Thus it greatly discouraged me. And I have never found the strength to talk about this until recently (except with my spiritual director, who has her own take on it) and I realize it wasn't a lesson in "obedience or humbleness", it was the fact that I was taken advantage of. As much as I hate to admit it or acknowledge it...as much as I would like to blame myself. My parents watched the whole thing and are discouraged now....they don't support my discernment. This VD didn't even thank my parents for being so generous. So, needless to say, my high school sisters (who are Franciscan still are very much open to me discerning and taking steps to enter. But I have to say I am feeling a bit wounded still. And I am going to shut up now and stop spilling my guts because I am really about to get teary. I just needed to get this all out somewhere, where people may understand. And if I get attacked, I don't care anymore. Peace out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted February 19, 2006 Share Posted February 19, 2006 I just wanted to say that I support you in your vocation search. I have my own intuitions, having been through some things on my own, but that will continue elsewhere. Please be assured of my prayers. God bless and keep you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurentina1975 Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 [quote name='PCPA2Be' date='Feb 19 2006, 09:54 AM']I just wanted to say that I support you in your vocation search. I have my own intuitions, having been through some things on my own, but that will continue elsewhere. Please be assured of my prayers. God bless and keep you. [right][snapback]891738[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Email me if you can. Lauren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 I did. Did you get it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurentina1975 Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 hey I am on AIM right now. Mertonfan75. Lauren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurentina1975 Posted February 20, 2006 Author Share Posted February 20, 2006 Nope never got it. Laurentina1975@ameritech.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChild Posted February 20, 2006 Share Posted February 20, 2006 LOL You disappeared off AIM! What happened? That was a long 20 minutes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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