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Dating/courtships And Physical Touch


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What do you believe to be morally acceptable  

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kayla_veronica

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. We were not always chaste, but about six months before I became Catholic we decided to become chaste until marriage, as was expected of us by God. Now we cuddle while watching movies, hold hands, hug and kiss but not make out. I think that it depends for each couple which is appropriate. If the physical touch is arousing it is dangerous because it can lead places you don't want to go. Even if the physical touch stops at making out, if you are aroused it is much easier to have sinful thoughts, which should also be avoided. I don't think any couple should go farther than making out before they are married though, because lust can seize hold of a person after that. Idk, hope I explained myself clearly enough.

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[quote name='kayla_veronica' date='25 December 2009 - 12:04 AM' timestamp='1261717490' post='2025761']
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years. We were not always chaste, but about six months before I became Catholic we decided to become chaste until marriage, as was expected of us by God. Now we cuddle while watching movies, hold hands, hug and kiss but not make out. I think that it depends for each couple which is appropriate. If the physical touch is arousing it is dangerous because it can lead places you don't want to go. Even if the physical touch stops at making out, if you are aroused it is much easier to have sinful thoughts, which should also be avoided. I don't think any couple should go farther than making out before they are married though, because lust can seize hold of a person after that. Idk, hope I explained myself clearly enough.
[/quote]
This sounds to be a moderate view. Thanks for sharing and bearing witness! ^_^

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I wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are being honest in their replies.

I also wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are virgins, both men and women, since so many of you don't think that sex before marriage is permissible. Reading some of these replies made me think about the 1950s, and the Sixties film "Carnal Knowledge". I'm old enough to remember marathon dorm discussions about whether a girl who French-kissed on the first date was "fast" or not.

Given my professional experience in OB/GYN for the past 40 years, you are all either very odd or dishonest, but after all, who's counting?

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My husband is the only man I have ever been with, and we married at the age of 43, so it is certainly possible to control your passions. My husband was not a virgin. I will admit however to being quite odd, at least by western society standards.

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Antigonos, I would disagree with you that people here are either odd or liars. Maybe the views expressed are 'odd' compared to what modern society urges us to do, but they certainly fit in with God's plan for the world, and that can never be odd.

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[quote name='Antigonos' date='25 December 2009 - 02:57 PM' timestamp='1261771026' post='2025974']
I wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are being honest in their replies.

I also wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are virgins, both men and women, since so many of you don't think that sex before marriage is permissible. Reading some of these replies made me think about the 1950s, and the Sixties film "Carnal Knowledge". I'm old enough to remember marathon dorm discussions about whether a girl who French-kissed on the first date was "fast" or not.

Given my professional experience in OB/GYN for the past 40 years, you are all either very odd or dishonest, but after all, who's counting?
[/quote]
What do you mean, exactly? I'm being honest in this question.

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[quote name='Antigonos' date='25 December 2009 - 01:57 PM' timestamp='1261771026' post='2025974']
I wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are being honest in their replies.

I also wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are virgins, both men and women, since so many of you don't think that sex before marriage is permissible. Reading some of these replies made me think about the 1950s, and the Sixties film "Carnal Knowledge". I'm old enough to remember marathon dorm discussions about whether a girl who French-kissed on the first date was "fast" or not.

Given my professional experience in OB/GYN for the past 40 years, you are all either very odd or dishonest, but after all, who's counting?
[/quote]
I was perfectly honest, but thanks for the insinuations anyway.

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It is this type of belief that we can not control ourselves, that fuels the idea that we have to supply contraception to children, and sex education to kindergartners.

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[quote name='Antigonos' date='25 December 2009 - 03:57 PM' timestamp='1261771026' post='2025974']
I wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are being honest in their replies.

I also wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are virgins, both men and women, since so many of you don't think that sex before marriage is permissible. Reading some of these replies made me think about the 1950s, and the Sixties film "Carnal Knowledge". I'm old enough to remember marathon dorm discussions about whether a girl who French-kissed on the first date was "fast" or not.

Given my professional experience in OB/GYN for the past 40 years, you are all either very odd or dishonest, but after all, who's counting?
[/quote]
Think what you want but I'll swear on my life that I'm telling you the absolute truth. I'm very much a virgin and would rather die than throw away my virtue by being promiscuous. I think it's despicable of you to assume things about people you don't know. And don't you dare say you know me. Because you most certainly do not and I hope you never will. I won't be exposed to ridicule and false accusations.

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[quote name='Antigonos' date='25 December 2009 - 02:57 PM' timestamp='1261771026' post='2025974']
I wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are being honest in their replies.

I also wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are virgins, both men and women, since so many of you don't think that sex before marriage is permissible. Reading some of these replies made me think about the 1950s, and the Sixties film "Carnal Knowledge". I'm old enough to remember marathon dorm discussions about whether a girl who French-kissed on the first date was "fast" or not.

Given my professional experience in OB/GYN for the past 40 years, you are all either very odd or dishonest, but after all, who's counting?
[/quote]

Sirklawd and I are very dedicated to promoting to the message of chastity. He started a website http://www.demandyourdignity.com/ and facebook and I started a chastity club on my secular college campus.

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kayla_veronica

[quote]I wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are being honest in their replies.

I also wonder how many of this forum's members, who are unmarried, are virgins, both men and women, since so many of you don't think that sex before marriage is permissible. Reading some of these replies made me think about the 1950s, and the Sixties film "Carnal Knowledge". I'm old enough to remember marathon dorm discussions about whether a girl who French-kissed on the first date was "fast" or not.

Given my professional experience in OB/GYN for the past 40 years, you are all either very odd or dishonest, but after all, who's counting?[/quote]


I will admit that before I became Catholic I was not chaste, and that I am not a virgin. Now that I am Catholic and in a chaste relationship I wish I could take it back and wait for marriage. I DO NOT think it is ood to want to wait until marriage to have sex, or to even get "hot and heavy," which often leads to a strong desire to have sex, and impure thoughts. I think it is a very rational thought to want to share your virginity with the man/woman you will spend the rest of your life with, because it is such an intimate experience. The emotional repercussions of having sex is also something to think about, and sex should never be taken lightly. I understand your thoughts, because of your profession: When I told my OB/GYN that me and my boyfriend were going to become chaste until marriage she said "Well, good luck with that" sarcastically. It's been a year and a half since I made that decsion and I never looked back. I am not struggling to keep from having sex. My boyfriend and I have so much respect and care for each other now. Our love for each other has grown so much on a spiritual level, and we feel great as we are no longer commiting mortal sins together. I think it is very unfair and judgemental for you to say that people with these sentiments are odd or liars.

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[quote name='kayla_veronica' date='25 December 2009 - 10:51 PM' timestamp='1261803085' post='2026133']
I will admit that before I became Catholic I was not chaste, and that I am not a virgin. Now that I am Catholic and in a chaste relationship I wish I could take it back and wait for marriage. I DO NOT think it is ood to want to wait until marriage to have sex, or to even get "hot and heavy," which often leads to a strong desire to have sex, and impure thoughts. I think it is a very rational thought to want to share your virginity with the man/woman you will spend the rest of your life with, because it is such an intimate experience. The emotional repercussions of having sex is also something to think about, and sex should never be taken lightly. I understand your thoughts, because of your profession: When I told my OB/GYN that me and my boyfriend were going to become chaste until marriage she said "Well, good luck with that" sarcastically. It's been a year and a half since I made that decsion and I never looked back. I am not struggling to keep from having sex. My boyfriend and I have so much respect and care for each other now. Our love for each other has grown so much on a spiritual level, and we feel great as we are no longer commiting mortal sins together. I think it is very unfair and judgemental for you to say that people with these sentiments are odd or liars.
[/quote]
Out of curiosity, and don't answer if it's too personal, did your boyfriend and you go through this conversion together? :)
(Congratulations, by the way. I'll bet it's harder to stop than it is to never start.)

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kayla_veronica

[quote]Out of curiosity, and don't answer if it's too personal, did your boyfriend and you go through this conversion together? [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img]
(Congratulations, by the way. I'll bet it's harder to stop than it is to never start.)
[/quote]

Yes, in a way. He was raised Catholic, and still went to church but he didn't go to confession or recieve communion for a long time. A couple of months before I became Catholic he made a General Confession and was stronger in the faith than ever. Thank you!

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[quote name='kayla_veronica' date='26 December 2009 - 12:22 PM' timestamp='1261851764' post='2026259']
Yes, in a way. He was raised Catholic, and still went to church but he didn't go to confession or recieve communion for a long time. A couple of months before I became Catholic he made a General Confession and was stronger in the faith than ever. Thank you!
[/quote]
Hope you stick around at Phatmass! :)

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