Catholictothecore Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) Hey, all! So, I have a bit of a question for you all. Just a see what you think kind of thing. This July, my sister, Sarah, is getting married. I am very, very, very happy for her. Her fiancee is a wonderful man who loves her greatly. And considering they are both past thirty, and it's her first relationship, I am over the moon every time I see just how in love she is. They were originally going to each have five wedding attendants each. For Sarah, it was going to be my three other sisters, LGLG, and our sister in law. Trouble is this: my brother and his wife are no longer are speaking terms. It was just...one of those things. He's got problems, including a variant on PTSD from his time in the army, I think. Point, Sarah was one bridesmaid down. Today, she asked me. No. It's not what you're thinking. This is not some sibling vendetta from when we were three. The honest fact is, Sara is one of my dearest friends. I am completely, utterly honored to be asked. It's just a little weird. And neither one of us really know how to pull this off. Pintrest is a beautiful thing. This is something that's happening these days. Male bridal attendants, that is. And in fact, I really do like some of the articles I've read as to how I could be of a unique help to her. I want to do this. But I do admit, I'm squeamish. I don't entirely know why. It's a big bundle of wibbly wobbly stuff. It is a secular wedding. That's not the reason I'm squeamish, just saying, not worried about liturgical correctness or not because there won't be a liturgy. And I've been in weird situations before in my work on stage. But this isn't the stage. This is real life. And it's one of the people I'm closest to in the world. So, really, I do know what my decision is. But any thoughts as to how I can be a help to her? And how to help her make it less awkward for whoever might not understand the whys behind it? Thanks, Alex. Edited January 9, 2015 by Catholictothecore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) DO IT! She's your SISTER! It's an honor. And it will make a great story to tell the guys at your next bachelor party! And real men can wear pink... chiffon. Edited January 9, 2015 by Luigi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisa Marie Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Honestly my experience as a bridesmaid was pretty gender-neutral in a lot of ways. All of the bridesmaids were from all over the country, so the day of the rehearsal was the day we all really met each other and hung out. We hung out while helping the bride with last-minute tasks. For, us it was eating snacks while making our bouquets, but it could have been anything. Then on the big day you get yourself looking spiffy, help the bride look the spiffiest of all, and try not to cry when the couple says their vows. :) Then dance and party. Mostly just be around and willing to help with things, find out who the maid of honor is and let her know you're willing to help (since she's the one with some extra responsibilities). And have fun. If anyone thinks it's weird just tackle them with humor and relentless enthusiasm for your sister. Honestly you're there to be a decoration (only the best man and maid of honor even sign anything!) and help your wonderful sister celebrate one of the most important days of her life. Be supportive and happy, and when the catering staff flags you down to tell you one of the guests is stealing dishes, handle it yourself and DO NOT tell the bride until much later. If ever. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Always a bride, never a bridesmaid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I think the best way to tackle the weird factor is to be confident, and decide it's not all that strange. You act as if it isn't weird, and people will fall in line. I second everything Basilisa Marie said. Have fun and enjoy celebrating your sister's love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 The uglier the dress, the quicker they want to get out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I'm thirding what Basilisa said. Enjoy, help out, take stresses off your sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 I was a bridesmaid in 2 weddings and I thought it was all just a bunch of BS. All I did was wear something awkward, walk up the aisle, just stand there, and pose for some pictures. I suppose if it meant a lot to the people in the wedding, I was happy to be there. But I guess all I'm saying is that it's something people stress out about way more than they need to. Needless to say, we didn't have any bridesmaids or groomsmen in our wedding. Assuming that participating in the wedding doesn't go against your conscience, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just smile and do your thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not A Real Name Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Provided there is nothing which is morally wrong with attending the wedding, I say help your sister and have fun doing it. I would ask her if you could wear something lighthearted. Comedy has always helped me when I'm tempted to take myself too seriously. [spoiler] [/spoiler] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little2add Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) Wedding are something special Be happy It can be magic At least it was for me Even thou I didn't know it at the time Edited January 9, 2015 by little2add Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little2add Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 (edited) :-) Edited January 9, 2015 by little2add Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ardillacid Posted January 9, 2015 Share Posted January 9, 2015 Male bridal attendants :coffee: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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