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Marsabielle

what advice do I give to call my child who is being picked on

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Marsabielle

 Well, it's right there in the title – she's actually not my child, but a family member who lives with me. She is a sweet, lovable young woman who attends a very vibrant Parish with a connecting homeschool co-op.  A girl who is two years younger than her is in a theater program with her. She is always making very mean comments to my girl, and this hurts her. She will come to me and say, "what should I do?"  Cause I know the biblical principle is to turn the other cheek, and to love ones enemy – at the same time, I read in secular sources that the best way to avert a bully is to stand up to him. What would you tell your child?

 

PS Of course, she is not perfect. I think her main fault would be that she is very quick to speak, and too loud for some people. She's a very bubbly, social girl.

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hotpink

Under 10 or 11, get adults involved.

 

Over 10 or 11, It's the "not everyone will like you/be kind" conversation.   Especially since the other child is younger.  A flat out "that's not a very nice thing to say" can be an effective means of diffusing a situation.

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Didacus

Learn to use your head before using your fist.

But if you have to use your fist - then be it.

 

That's the talk I had with my guy-kid back in the day.

On 11/3/2017 at 9:15 PM, Marsabielle said:

 Well, it's right there in the title – she's actually not my child, but a family member who lives with me. She is a sweet, lovable young woman who attends a very vibrant Parish with a connecting homeschool co-op.  A girl who is two years younger than her is in a theater program with her. She is always making very mean comments to my girl, and this hurts her. She will come to me and say, "what should I do?"  Cause I know the biblical principle is to turn the other cheek, and to love ones enemy – at the same time, I read in secular sources that the best way to avert a bully is to stand up to him. What would you tell your child?

 

PS Of course, she is not perfect. I think her main fault would be that she is very quick to speak, and too loud for some people. She's a very bubbly, social girl.

Turn the other cheek - sure.  But that does not mean that she should just stand back and let her dignity be attacked.  She has the right and the duty to defend herself in kind.  She needs to do so with restraint of course, and ensure not to escalate the matter.

Take note that I am not saying that she should be mean like the other person is being mean - but to affirm her right to be respected.

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