Natural Man and Family

[thessalonian]

We were having a conversation in the isle the other day and it got in to family structures. The one guy was an aetheist, the other a liberal Christian, the other a conservative Christian, and then I a Catholic. What do you think of this email to them?


Hi guys,

I was thinking about stopping by for this discussion Keith, but would like to include the others in on what I have to say so I decided to do it in email so that I could include Doug and Curt in on my thoughts..
I was thinking about our conversation yesterday, particularly about why American Blacks have so many difficulties and such poor family structures. I made the comment that it had some relationship to slavery. You, Keith made some comment like, I don't believe in that original sin. That's okay of course but I do, but I don't think I need that to show the tie to slavery. I could also quote scripture, for there are some about our children being effected by the wrong we do to the fourth generation. But my understanding is that would like a more "rational approach". That you are not particularly Christian. Correct me if I am wrong. Even though we may not agree on the Christianity aspects, I see a lot of "right thinking" from you that is consistent with it. If we are natural beings created in some common way, then there it would seem, be some "right thinking" or order between us regardless of belief. I can point to scripture as well on that but let's take a natural approach.
Now I think we would have to agree, or at least I would hope we do, that we could not be having the conversation we were having yesterday with regard to how certain groups ought to behave in relation to one another, unless there was some sort of expected behavior by which men's relationships with each other could be judged. That there is a higher code of behavior that comes from somewhere, if we can only agree that it is embedded in our natures. Our conversation yesterday implied that it is not just a natural code because we discussed the behavior of African Blacks as opposed to American blacks. So I think we would have to conclude that there is a common "natural" behavior amongst all of mankind, even across racial and national boundaries. If there were not we could not "judge" black Americans against ourselves and against black Africans as we were yesterday. We all must have a common nature. Otherwise, if one person is acting according to his individual nature in having children out of wedlock (which is not illegal these days in this country) we should not be judging it by our expectation that this behavior is not according to right behavior of one toward another.
Now the question is why do American blacks have such poor family structures. (African Blacks it was said don't as you will recall. I think Doug said it but I don't have any statistics). Well, I attributed it at least in part to slavery, but didn't give much defense when you made your comment, but once again our standard is that it is a good thing for there to be family units. This for us in the conversation is what is "natural" and good in man's behavior. I think we will also agree that children have a "natural" mechanism by which they want to imitate us. This can be good and bad. My stepson the other day said that some day he wanted to be an engineer like me and work where I work. EEEEK! Some might think that bad and some days I wonder but in general it was flattering. On the other hand, I recall one time that I was angry at one of my kids for something he had done and yelled at him, in retrospect overreacting. My youngest son of 2 joined in. .
Well how does this fit in with the situation of American Blacks and family structures? What is "natural" among men is a home in which there is a mom and a dad and children in this natural setting are to learn (or I would say have reinforced what is natural to them) the ways of behaving toward other humans. They learn from both parents. One thing young men learn from a father is that of staying with the family in good times and bad in the commitment of a marriage and of providing for those families. Children are so greatly effected by divorce that it I think would be hard to argue against this. It tears at their very nature. I see it's effects in my three stepsons and it saddens me at times. Hopefully I can provide some sort of a stabilizing influence that will correct some of the damage.
I think there are two effects of slavery that weakened this in Black Males in America. First of all the slaveholders many times broke up families, taking the father out of the family unit and selling him off to another slave-owner. Thus the male children did not have that stabile example in their lives of a father in the home providing for and staying with his children, even when things were difficult. Secondly, after slavery and the emancipation proclamation, these families (4 million as I recall) were sent in to unemployment and poverty, creating a stress on the fathers of those families. The males who did not have a father in the home, providing the example of perseverance in hardship, did not bear up in general or at least in a sufficient number of the cases, such that the family structures among blacks was significantly weakened, even more. Children imitated what their fathers did and so the males have more of a tendency because of this corruption of their nature, to abandon their families. It has been shown in some studies I have read that even among whites, those who do not have a father in the home, i.e. have been abandoned by their fathers are more likely do so as well. This is a partial explanation for the increasing divorce rate of the 60's and 70's to where it is today. I am sure that the relaxed divorce laws are contributing to this greatly as well.

Now sooner or later they must rise above this and yet they only seem to become more entrenched in it. But the scary thing that I pointed out yesterday is that whites are well on their way to having their "nature" corrupt in a similar way with over 30% of white children being born outside the family structure and I think nearly 50% in single parent homes. If what I am saying is true, this does not bode well for America's future.
Anyway, just my thoughts. Replies welcome.


Gerald

Thoughts

[phatcatholic]

i would like to know how an african-american person would respond to this. also, i guess i could entertain the thought of slavery being a force that continues to bind the african american, even tho he is free................but my first inclination is to reject this notion. if anything, i think u should qualify your response to account for other reasons as well, ensuring that you don't present slavery as the sole cause of the problem.