Need Married Guys

[JimR-OCDS]

Well I can't relate.

I always help clean the house, do laundry, take out the trash, mow the lawn and cook. I also take my wife out to dinner on a regular basis and shopping.

I always kiss her good-bye in the morning and hello at night when I come home, and tell her how much I love her.

In other words, I'm the perfect husband. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_grin.gif[/img]



Jim

[Varg]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='11 November 2009 - 11:03 AM' timestamp='1257955435' post='2000651']
+J.M.J.+
I need married men's opinions.

my husband is at home, currently not working ( ). he stays at home with the kiddos during the day. when i get home, the house is usually a mess. messes stress me out. i've asked him if he could do a better job picking things up/cleaning up, but he says he likes to do it all when they're asleep (when it still doesn't get done). i don't know how to approach him about this, because nothing seems to work. it seems like he leaves the majority of housework to get done for Wednesdays or Saturdays, when i do it (by myself, multi-tasking with the kiddos). advice?
[/quote]
I always thought you were a guy

Edited November 11, 2009 by Varg

[StColette]

[quote name='JimR-OCDS' date='11 November 2009 - 01:17 PM' timestamp='1257963455' post='2000726']
In other words, I'm the perfect husband.
Jim
[/quote]

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='JimR-OCDS' date='11 November 2009 - 02:17 PM' timestamp='1257963455' post='2000726']
Well I can't relate.

I always help clean the house, do laundry, take out the trash, mow the lawn and cook. I also take my wife out to dinner on a regular basis and shopping.

I always kiss her good-bye in the morning and hello at night when I come home, and tell her how much I love her.

In other words, I'm the perfect husband. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_grin.gif[/img]



Jim
[/quote]

It doesn't mean you are perfect at all , just well-trained.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
[quote name='Archaeology cat' date='11 November 2009 - 11:50 AM' timestamp='1257961803' post='2000711']
I was going to suggest maybe him having little girl help. Kieran helps me with things (he pushes the vacuum after me). If I need to keep him busy while I'm cleaning the kitchen, I give him the extension part of the vacuum, and he happily pushes it around. Or I'll ask him to pick up his books while I do that, and usually he will b/c he gets excited about the vacuum. [/quote]i know i do that, but i'm not sure about him. i don't think so, because i tell him (when i'm around) to let her help, and he doesn't want her to

[quote name='Archaeology cat' date='11 November 2009 - 11:50 AM' timestamp='1257961803' post='2000711']
With just 1 kid & 2 cats it needs to be done everyday. Or at least that's my experience. One of my cats is long-haired, though, so I'm sure that influences my perspective. My husband has specific chores that are just his (like taking care of the cats), so they get done more regularly that way. I do have to be specific if I want something done, though. Whereas I can multitask and get multiple things done at once, he needs to focus on just one or two things. We just think about things differently.[/quote]
yeah, one of ours is long-haired as well. one duty he has to do is the litter box (i flat out refuse).

[quote name='Chestertonian' date='11 November 2009 - 12:00 PM' timestamp='1257962436' post='2000714']I think another problem that a lot of us have is that we don't know where you want things to go, or how you want things to be washed. When I was a bachelor, cleaning the house and doing the laundry was so much easier because I just put things wherever I thought they should go, and I wasn't very particular about the way I did the laundry. My wife, however, has a place for everything and she's very particular about the way the laundry is to be done. I often find it easier to leave those types of things for her (better than being yelled at for putting things in the wrong place , even on the days I don't work.[/quote]
he's a lot better now about doing the laundry (after I told him just not to dry any of my shirts lol)

[quote name='scardella' date='11 November 2009 - 12:01 PM' timestamp='1257962508' post='2000715']It sounds like he's depressed at not having a job. He probably feels very unmotivated and is escaping to the game to where he feels connected/useful/needed/triumphant/etc.

It sounds like he's self-medicating on the game... BTW, is it called Evony?

I know how that can feel, not having a job for months at a time. Sometimes you just feel trapped and want to go anywhere just to be out of the house. Definitely a rough time. I'll send some prayers.[/quote]
(yes, Evony! that's it!) you've given me something to think on, thank you.

[quote name='Varg' date='11 November 2009 - 12:31 PM' timestamp='1257964270' post='2000734']I always thought you were a guy [/quote]

[JimR-OCDS]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='11 November 2009 - 02:45 PM' timestamp='1257965106' post='2000742']
It doesn't mean you are perfect at all [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_roll.gif[/img] , just well-trained. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/D.gif[/img]
[/quote]


Actually, that would be more accurate. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/lol_grin.gif[/img]


Jim

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='JimR-OCDS' date='11 November 2009 - 01:17 PM' timestamp='1257963455' post='2000726']
In other words, I'm the perfect husband.
[/quote]

You know, the better way to the be perfect husband is to claim that you have the perfect wife.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='Era Might' date='11 November 2009 - 12:32 PM' timestamp='1257960777' post='2000689']
JERRY: Hey, board of directors. Look at you!

GEORGE: Yeah! Look at me! I was free and clear! I was living the dream! I was stripped to the waist, eating a block of c[i][/i]heese the size of a car battery!

JERRY: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of c[i][/i]heese with some sort of bachelor paradise.
[/quote]

[MIKolbe]

my wife is perfect.

she puts up with me.

[Brother Adam]

I agree, it sounds like some light depression and maybe good old, home cooked laziness. I've needed my feelings hurt before when staying at home. Messes at home drive me insane almost to the point where I am not capable of even helping if things get really bad. My own suggestion (what would work for me) is to take a weekend for cleaning - say you are 'spring cleaning' or something. You want every room spotless. Then get the whole house clean. Put up a white board and put chores on it each day and things that need to be done with the kids. I know that would work well for me. Show him how it only takes a few hours a day, and right now that is his job and make sure he understands you will make sure he gets some time for himself as well. It would also help me if my wife shared with me the stress she faces having to work all day and then help at night. You need, not want, him to be a team player and keep up his end.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='11 November 2009 - 03:44 PM' timestamp='1257975864' post='2000857']
I agree, it sounds like some light depression and maybe good old, home cooked laziness. I've needed my feelings hurt before when staying at home. Messes at home drive me insane almost to the point where I am not capable of even helping if things get really bad. My own suggestion (what would work for me) is to take a weekend for cleaning - say you are 'spring cleaning' or something. You want every room spotless. Then get the whole house clean. Put up a white board and put chores on it each day and things that need to be done with the kids. I know that would work well for me. Show him how it only takes a few hours a day, and right now that is his job and make sure he understands you will make sure he gets some time for himself as well. It would also help me if my wife shared with me the stress she faces having to work all day and then help at night. You need, not want, him to be a team player and keep up his end.
[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
thank you.

[Slappo]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='11 November 2009 - 09:33 AM' timestamp='1257960798' post='2000690']
+J.M.J.+
to add:
if i ask him to do something specific, it maybe gets done. i hear "i forgot" a lot - and i know things can get forgotten, but all the time? or i'll ask him to do something and he says "i just did that" - like vacuuming. with two kids and two cats, the floors need vacuumed like every day. he'll say "you/i just did it yesterday. it doesn't need done again."
[/quote]




<--- has vacuumed his apartment once, maybe twice in the past 3 months.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Slappo' date='11 November 2009 - 04:32 PM' timestamp='1257978724' post='2000909']


<--- has vacuumed his apartment once, maybe twice in the past 3 months.
[/quote]


do you know how much a human sheds (hair & skin) every day?

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='11 November 2009 - 06:10 PM' timestamp='1257977446' post='2000881']
+J.M.J.+
thank you.
[/quote]
When I was training my sons I put up lists on the cupboard and closet doors so they knew where stuff went. You could also take a pic of it clean for incentive.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='11 November 2009 - 04:41 PM' timestamp='1257979283' post='2000917']
When I was training my sons I put up lists on the cupboard and closet doors so they knew where stuff went. You could also take a pic of it clean for incentive.
[/quote]
+J.M.J.+
i'm afraid of coming across as too "demanding" or too "you're acting like my mom" type of thing