Need Married Guys

[Lil Red]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' date='12 November 2009 - 10:25 PM' timestamp='1258086344' post='2001791']
Well first off he said if he were in that situation he'd just do the housework (although whether or not he would do it to my standards is dubious). I forget exactly what Matt said but it was basically that your hubby should su[i][/i]ck it up and get with the program and clean the dang house. I remember telling him that the way he phrased it was way too harsh and you couldn't just say it to your husband like that even if it was the general gist of the conversation.
[/quote]
yeah, that would not have gone over well. my daughter and him have the exact same mulish stubborn looks.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='missionseeker' date='12 November 2009 - 10:35 PM' timestamp='1258086906' post='2001818']
I sowwy, Red.

I just like being sarcastic.


=/
[/quote]
sarcasm? what's that?

[CatherineM]

[quote name='Slappo' date='12 November 2009 - 08:29 PM' timestamp='1258079359' post='2001640']
CatherineM: I never said you had your gender roles mixed up...
[/quote]
Sorry, my post wasn't even pointed in your direction. It was just a scattergun. To be honest, I'm not sure I read your whole post because I was headed out the door. Got no problem with me.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='13 November 2009 - 12:35 AM' timestamp='1258086914' post='2001819']
yeah, that would not have gone over well. my daughter and him have the exact same mulish stubborn looks.
[/quote]

I can see it!

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='13 November 2009 - 12:34 AM' timestamp='1258086874' post='2001817']
i love you.
[/quote]

[Lil Red]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' date='12 November 2009 - 10:58 PM' timestamp='1258088326' post='2001903']
I can see it!
[/quote]
it would be similar to this look:
[img]http://hphotos-snc1.fbcdn.net/hs150.snc1/5571_101134975804_551095804_2141189_5845181_n.jpg[/img]

or this one:

[img]http://hphotos-snc1.fbcdn.net/hs109.snc1/4924_91257800804_551095804_1988260_1359030_n.jpg[/img]

[ardillacid]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='12 November 2009 - 06:37 PM' timestamp='1258069063' post='2001491']
+J.M.J.+
HCF has a melt down in

3

2

1....
[/quote]
You are pro!

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' date='12 November 2009 - 09:54 PM' timestamp='1258080859' post='2001692']
What, us men aren't good enough for you?

Oppressor.
[/quote]
Quiet, Breeder

[IcePrincessKRS]

I'm trying not to laugh out loud (Xander is asleep on my lap!), but knowing what your hubby looks like I can totally see it. It's probably not at all funny when you have to deal with it, but melding that with the images of Little Girl and I'm cracking up.

[littleflower+JMJ]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='12 November 2009 - 11:20 PM' timestamp='1258086030' post='2001784']
+J.M.J.+
you know what, this is ridiculous. this is my thread, problem is solved, and you guys are arguing over some silly flooping point. go argue in another thread. go have a p*ssing match elsewhere.
[/quote]

srly.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' date='12 November 2009 - 11:08 PM' timestamp='1258088933' post='2001916']
I'm trying not to laugh out loud (Xander is asleep on my lap!), but knowing what your hubby looks like I can totally see it. It's probably not at all funny when you have to deal with it, but melding that with the images of Little Girl and I'm cracking up.
[/quote]
i call it the *our last name* frown. because she has it, my hubby has it, his father and his father's father all have it. the exact same look. what concerns me, is that she's got it nailed down the way my husband's grandfather does it, and he was a mean son of a beesh.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='littleflower+JMJ' date='12 November 2009 - 11:11 PM' timestamp='1258089090' post='2001925']
srly.
[/quote]

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='organwerke' date='12 November 2009 - 09:32 PM' timestamp='1258061578' post='2001439']
Oh, I don't want to seem that kind of woman who vitiates men.
But, actually, I can't stand those women who dream a man who behaves like a woman.
Staying with the children, doing houskeeping, washing, cleaning...
If the man likes this, nothing wrong.
But... what about women?
What about a woman who repairs windows, washing machines, televisions?
A woman who can assemble furnitures, hang pictures, or replace car pieces...?
If a man should do housekeeping, a woman should do this kind of works too!
[/quote]


I think I understand what you're saying, though, that the traditional roles shouldn't just be turned upside-down for no reason or a misplaced sense of equality (for I do not think equality means doing the same things, but being equal in dignity), but that certainly isn't where Red is coming from. Obviously it should be a partnership. I mean, my MIL worked, and my FIL stayed home with the kids until they were all in school and then he went to work. It was a mutual agreement that worked for them. I personally prefer to stay home, but I'm also in charge of putting together and moving all furniture and hanging pictures. I was taught how to handle tools from an early age, though.

[quote name='CatherineM' date='12 November 2009 - 09:48 PM' timestamp='1258062521' post='2001444']
I can and do routinely. One of the first lessons my husband learned was to stay away from my power tools.
[/quote]
Same here. Though I had to move an ocean away to keep my dad from stealing my tools.

[quote name='Slappo' date='13 November 2009 - 02:29 AM' timestamp='1258079359' post='2001640']
Does everyone take EVERYTHING I say out of context today?

I never said women shouldn't work. I never said women shouldn't be able to change a tire, fix her car, change the oil, or fix a dryer...

That doesn't mean that we should completely get rid of gender roles as HCF said in her post that I replied to.

CatherineM: I never said you had your gender roles mixed up...

Everyone else: I never said men shouldn't clean the house. My dad was actually the one that kept our house the cleanest when I was a child, and if I were naive enough to think that I could let my fiancee do all the cleaning, then it would be a miserable marriage I was getting myself into.
[/quote]
For what it's worth, I didn't take your statements as sexist or anything.

Edited November 13, 2009 by Archaeology cat

[jiyoung]

Marcus, I really should apologize...I realized I mixed up your posts with another person's, so it really shouldn't be directed at you. Sometimes people can hide behind "gender roles" to avoid things they don't want to do--my point was that it's not really about gender roles, but love. My dad told my mom she needed to stop working when she got pregnant with me, that he would take care of it, and that he just wanted her to be at home to take care of their children and not have to balance working on top of that. He then proceeded to support our family single-handedly through back-breaking labor work, and he's in constant pain for it. My mother, in turn, threw herself into homemaking and raising us, and worked hard because my father worked so hard. It wasn't because it's the man's role to be the breadwinner or whatever and the woman is barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but because in his self-sacrificing nature my dad wanted to provide for his family so that my mother didn't have to worry about it, and my mom responded in kind by doing her best in what she was doing. So if circumstances require a different situation, then a couple should still respond accordingly, with that same self-giving love.

I would imagine that your desire to provide for Jen and the family you plan to have with her doesn't stem from an acceptance of gender roles, but from your love for her and desire to protect her and care for her. (I'm pretty sure she wouldn't stand for sexist yuckiness anyway...and I wouldn't expect it from you, either.) Her compliance with that would, in kind, not be about gender roles but about the trust founded in the love she has for you. So, you're right in saying that gender roles exist for a reason...they've naturally resulted from the "typical" situation. The problem comes when people hold onto the gender roles because it's a societal norm and it doesn't just kind of occur naturally...but I should stop sidetracking the thread. I get frustrated because right now I'm pursuing a career and don't have plans of marriage and a family on the horizon. Not that I'm opposed to it, but I'm not looking for it. To some, that makes me less of a woman and more of a man-hating feminazi. Which I'm not. Meanwhile, I've encountered some guys who really do think that these gender roles are based in authority, and not in love, and who would regard my desire for a career as shameful, who kind of tick me off...so I kind of took that out on you, and I apologize, because you don't deserve it, and I really shouldn't take out my frustrations on people who don't merit it.

Anyway...I'm kind of needlessly verbose so I'm gonna stop derailing the thread. I just felt the need to clarify and apologize. soooooo back to your regularly scheduled programming!

Edited November 13, 2009 by jiyoung

[organwerke]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' date='13 November 2009 - 07:55 AM' timestamp='1258091719' post='2001995']
I think I understand what you're saying, though, that the traditional roles shouldn't just be turned upside-down for no reason or a misplaced sense of equality (for I do not think equality means doing the same things, but being equal in dignity), but that certainly isn't where Red is coming from. [/quote]

Yes, I've understood this now.
And, in fact, I was speaking thinking only of [u]those[/u] women who always complain that their men aren't able to do this and that.
(of course, the thought may be reciprocal.)
I simply think that I don't like that sort of aggressiveness in the couple.
I think that in the couple everybody should be accepted with qualities and faults.
I am not referring of course to cases of bad will (this is a different, real problem) but to simple different abilities and personal skills.
Anyway...I thought I was speaking about a quite light theme...and not a capital one!!!!!!! (seeing some previous posts!)

And, finally, to return to the first thread post...: Lil, I don't know how I could help you, for I actually think that if you teach your man to clean and so on...you might spend much more time than doing the cleaning by yourself!!!!

Edited November 13, 2009 by organwerke

[Slappo]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='12 November 2009 - 08:20 PM' timestamp='1258086030' post='2001784']
+J.M.J.+
you know what, this is ridiculous. this is my thread, problem is solved, and you guys are arguing over some silly flooping point. go argue in another thread. go have a p*ssing match elsewhere.
[/quote]

When everything I say gets taken the wrong way and put in a negative light i feel the need to defend myself so that my views are not mistaken for views that do not uphold the dignity of both femininity and masculinity.

Sorry it hi-jacked your thread.


Edited to maintain charity

Edited November 13, 2009 by Slappo