Prayers For Social Security Disability Application

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

I need any prayers you have time for. I don't care what religion or language the prayers are in. I have been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. If you've ever had the flu, remember how you felt just as you were starting to get over it--exhausted, aching? That's what I feel like 24/7 and have felt that way for 6 years. Similarly, if you have ever had mono--it feels exactly the same way. Except mono normally goes away for a month or two.

I am in the process of applying for Social Security disability--something I never expected to have to do.

It is not only a frustrating process, dealing with government bureaucracy, but also a humbling/humiliating one. As I fill out the forms, I have to come face-to-face with what is wrong--and the forms are very detailed and personal. Privacy and pride have no place in this process.

The good news is that I have the benefit of a good doctor, a good therapist, and a good lawyer, all of whom are all doing their best for me.

But, I have NO other support. My family lives thousands of miles away in CA. They were dysfunctional when I was growing up, and are no less so now. I have tried to turn to them for emotional support, but I've found that it is actually better not to talk to them, because talking to them makes things worse.

My lack of support is mostly my fault--I let personal relationships slip when I was getting sick, because it took all my physical and emotional energy to try to try to cope with a full-time job.

But, as I try to reach out for support, it is difficult, and as time goes by I have fewer emotional and physical reserves to have the courage to reach out and to deal with the rejections I have experienced. There is also the problem that people have a hard time dealing with a long-term chronic illness. It's easy to pray for someone having a heart operation--you find out the result right away. I also have the problem of people who tell me the illness is "all in my head" despite the fact that I have a number of objective tests showing that "something" is wrong, even if doctors are baffled about what causes it, much less how to treat symptoms or cure it.

And, the people around me are busy, that's not their fault--they have kids, spouses, jobs, and their own aging parents to care for.

Yes, I do have the nuns in the convent for retired sisters across the street praying for me. They have never said this, but other elderly people have said to me--"You can't be sick, you're too young." Despite my chronological age, my body is often more weak than that of an 80-year old. I have reached the point where I need help just keeping my house clean--it's very humbling. No matter how I feel, my cats are taken care of--but I have disappointed a lot of people with missed appointments, etc.

Prayers for the long-term illness would be welcome. But, the social security disability process is going on right now. The money will help, but the most important thing is that it would grant me access to Medicare. I am buying health insurance right now through the state, but it is VERY expensive.

I figure that if any group in the world are "experts" at praying, you are, so even a moment would help. The lucky ones among you "hear" God. For me, all there is is silence. My "dark night of the soul" is going into its 6th year (longer really). Well, at least there aren't any locusts. (That was last summer! LOL)

Thank-you.