20 Ways For Women To Claim The Respect They Deserve

[Sojourner]

After giving this a bit more thought ...

I think it's interesting that it is so focused on modesty (and being "cute but modest"). When I think of the women I respect, they are modest in their dress, but that's not what immediately jumps to mind when I see them.

The women I respect know the Truth, and put forth a genuine effort to live it out in their daily lives, both in their private and public lives. They are fearless in their defense of the people and convictions they hold dear. Those who are married are strong in their submission to their husbands.

They know who they are, and they know that they have a responsibility to care for themselves as well as for those who've been entrusted to them.

Their faith is a central part of all they do, even if it is not explicit, because it is an inextricable part of who they are.

Modesty, kindness to all you meet, letting guys open doors for you, not buying into the lies our culture teaches ... those are all, in my view, a good start to being a respectable woman. But true womanhood goes beyond all those things. True women show us what it means to the strong and beautiful Bride of Christ.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='19 July 2010 - 10:55 PM' timestamp='1279598144' post='2145336']
After giving this a bit more thought ...

I think it's interesting that it is so focused on modesty (and being "cute but modest"). When I think of the women I respect, they are modest in their dress, but that's not what immediately jumps to mind when I see them.

The women I respect know the Truth, and put forth a genuine effort to live it out in their daily lives, both in their private and public lives. They are fearless in their defense of the people and convictions they hold dear. Those who are married are strong in their submission to their husbands.

They know who they are, and they know that they have a responsibility to care for themselves as well as for those who've been entrusted to them.

Their faith is a central part of all they do, even if it is not explicit, because it is an inextricable part of who they are.

Modesty, kindness to all you meet, letting guys open doors for you, not buying into the lies our culture teaches ... those are all, in my view, a good start to being a respectable woman. But true womanhood goes beyond all those things. True women show us what it means to the strong and beautiful Bride of Christ.
[/quote]


I completely agree with you. I think there is a key verse in the Gospels that often gets overlooked because it's not what we would expect.

[quote]
29"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.[c] 30Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'[d] 31The second is this: '[b]Love your neighbor as yourself.'[e]There is no commandment greater than these[/b]."[/quote]

Being kind to everyone and dressing modestly can be surface things. You can be kind to everyone because it makes you feel better about yourself. And even Tyra Banks had a guest on her show giving women advice on how to dress to make impressions on men. They were all very modest suggestions. So even if you dress modestly it can be for the wrong reasons.

But when a women loves herself, she becomes this incredible person, because God intended for her to love herself. At first I think we kind of think it seems a little selfish, but why wouldn't God want us to love ourselves? He does. She sees herself as a child of His and then she sees everyone else as a child of his. I think that if we really want women to stand up for themselves and demand respect, they have to demand it of themselves first.

[Old_Joe]

[quote name='MissScripture' date='19 July 2010 - 10:36 PM' timestamp='1279593416' post='2145286']
Well, most of that's bickering about who should make food...nothing really worthwhile.
[/quote]

I'd answer that with this:

[quote name='Lil Red' date='19 July 2010 - 11:53 AM' timestamp='1279554829' post='2144846']
9. DO let a guy be a gentleman. As long as he is holding the door or pulling out your chair with the right spirit, he isn’t saying that you aren’t capable of doing these things yourself. He is saying that you are worth so much that he wants to honor you with his actions.
[/quote]

In my case, I am perfectly capable of cooking not only for myself but for others as well. If someone wants to cook for me. I won't stop them.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Old_Joe' date='19 July 2010 - 11:46 PM' timestamp='1279601166' post='2145362']
I'd answer that with this:



In my case, I am perfectly capable of cooking not only for myself but for others as well. If someone wants to cook for me. I won't stop them.
[/quote]


There's a guy at my work and he does things for me all the time because I'm girl. It's really sweet, but it's my job and when he does things, I sometimes just wind up standing there talking to him (which is not bad, I like talking to him, but at the same time, you know, I should be working). What are your thoughts on that?

[Old_Joe]

[quote name='missionseeker' date='20 July 2010 - 12:54 AM' timestamp='1279601688' post='2145365']
There's a guy at my work and he does things for me all the time because I'm girl. It's really sweet, but it's my job and when he does things, I sometimes just wind up standing there talking to him (which is not bad, I like talking to him, but at the same time, you know, I should be working). What are your thoughts on that?
[/quote]

I'm guilty of doing the same thing.

[Sojourner]

[quote name='missionseeker' date='19 July 2010 - 10:54 PM' timestamp='1279601688' post='2145365']
There's a guy at my work and he does things for me all the time because I'm girl. It's really sweet, but it's my job and when he does things, I sometimes just wind up standing there talking to him (which is not bad, I like talking to him, but at the same time, you know, I should be working). What are your thoughts on that?
[/quote]
Doesn't he have his own work to do? If I were your manager I would make sure he did, because paying two people to do one person's job isn't good for business.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='19 July 2010 - 08:55 PM' timestamp='1279598144' post='2145336']
After giving this a bit more thought ...

I think it's interesting that it is so focused on modesty (and being "cute but modest"). When I think of the women I respect, they are modest in their dress, but that's not what immediately jumps to mind when I see them.

The women I respect know the Truth, and put forth a genuine effort to live it out in their daily lives, both in their private and public lives. They are fearless in their defense of the people and convictions they hold dear. Those who are married are strong in their submission to their husbands.

They know who they are, and they know that they have a responsibility to care for themselves as well as for those who've been entrusted to them.

Their faith is a central part of all they do, even if it is not explicit, because it is an inextricable part of who they are.

Modesty, kindness to all you meet, letting guys open doors for you, not buying into the lies our culture teaches ... those are all, in my view, a good start to being a respectable woman. But true womanhood goes beyond all those things. True women show us what it means to the strong and beautiful Bride of Christ.
[/quote]
you should write a new list.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='20 July 2010 - 10:24 AM' timestamp='1279639489' post='2145429']
Doesn't he have his own work to do? If I were your manager I would make sure he did, because paying two people to do one person's job isn't good for business.
[/quote]
well, yeah. I mean I DO work, but I work in foodservice, so things like heavy lifting, or things that are gross, or whatever, he'll try to not let me do. And it's summer (and a school cafeteria) so it's slow and he usually finishes his stuff before I finish mine (because he works in the back and can clean up during meal times, I work in the front and can only clean after we've closed. It's not like I'm standing around the entire time, and even if he does things for me I can usually do something else instead, and he doesn't do my work instead of his, he just helps me out after he's done. Which is kind of nice because most of the other cooks just leave their messes for me.

Does that makes sense?

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='20 July 2010 - 09:31 AM' timestamp='1279639884' post='2145431']
you should write a new list.
[/quote]
Maybe I will ...

[quote name='missionseeker' date='20 July 2010 - 09:33 AM' timestamp='1279640015' post='2145433']
well, yeah. I mean I DO work, but I work in foodservice, so things like heavy lifting, or things that are gross, or whatever, he'll try to not let me do. And it's summer (and a school cafeteria) so it's slow and he usually finishes his stuff before I finish mine (because he works in the back and can clean up during meal times, I work in the front and can only clean after we've closed. It's not like I'm standing around the entire time, and even if he does things for me I can usually do something else instead, and he doesn't do my work instead of his, he just helps me out after he's done. Which is kind of nice because most of the other cooks just leave their messes for me.

Does that makes sense?
[/quote]
Yeah, I get what it's like ... I've worked in foodservice as well, for many years, but I never had a co-worker do my work for me on a regular basis. We were all busy enough with our own stuff that we didn't have time to do other people's stuff. What you are describing sounds to me like really poor management. If your co-worker is doing stuff "all the time" for you, he probably needs to be regularly assigned those tasks, since it sounds like at least some of them are things you can't do (heavy lifting).

As far as the interpersonals, a guy who is regularly going out of his way to do nice things for you may be expressing interest in you. If you know that to be true and you welcome it, it's one thing. But if it's not something you'd welcome, you may be leading him on by continually allowing him to do these things for you. He may be just being a "nice guy" but from what you've said my instincts indicate otherwise.

[missionseeker]

Well, I have very little doubt that that is part of it, tbh. He's been trying to get my attention for two years, and I've only just now stopped rejecting him completely. (idek...) BUT I think that that is only part of it. I'm not the only female that he helps out if he can. And he's not American and was raised in a very different environment where men did those things. I think that's the biggest part of it. He was telling me about schools in Cuba where etiquette was enforced really strictly. He also helps out the older workers. I don't think it's bad management because, like I said, generally there are other things to be done as well. In over six years, no one has ever had complaints about him. (Except me, hahaha) I think maybe it's the slowness of the summer that makes his actions stick out more. (There are maybe 50 people eating here a day. We're used to 800ish...)

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='20 July 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1279598144' post='2145336']
After giving this a bit more thought ...

I think it's interesting that it is so focused on modesty (and being "cute but modest"). When I think of the women I respect, they are modest in their dress, but that's not what immediately jumps to mind when I see them.

The women I respect know the Truth, and put forth a genuine effort to live it out in their daily lives, both in their private and public lives. They are fearless in their defense of the people and convictions they hold dear. Those who are married are strong in their submission to their husbands.

They know who they are, and they know that they have a responsibility to care for themselves as well as for those who've been entrusted to them.

Their faith is a central part of all they do, even if it is not explicit, because it is an inextricable part of who they are.

Modesty, kindness to all you meet, letting guys open doors for you, not buying into the lies our culture teaches ... those are all, in my view, a good start to being a respectable woman. But true womanhood goes beyond all those things. True women show us what it means to the strong and beautiful Bride of Christ.
[/quote]

I think that might be part of why the line I quoted, stuck out to me. Being a good example to my girls and my sisters is a big deal and it involves a lot more than checking a list to make sure I'm modest and holy (I know I'm grossly over simplifying the list here), which are great things to bear in mind but not the sum total.

[Ice_nine]

[quote name='Terra Firma' date='20 July 2010 - 12:55 AM' timestamp='1279598144' post='2145336']
After giving this a bit more thought ...

I think it's interesting that it is so focused on modesty (and being "cute but modest"). When I think of the women I respect, they are modest in their dress, but that's not what immediately jumps to mind when I see them.

The women I respect know the Truth, and put forth a genuine effort to live it out in their daily lives, both in their private and public lives. They are fearless in their defense of the people and convictions they hold dear. Those who are married are strong in their submission to their husbands.

They know who they are, and they know that they have a responsibility to care for themselves as well as for those who've been entrusted to them.

Their faith is a central part of all they do, even if it is not explicit, because it is an inextricable part of who they are.

Modesty, kindness to all you meet, letting guys open doors for you, not buying into the lies our culture teaches ... those are all, in my view, a good start to being a respectable woman. But true womanhood goes beyond all those things. True women show us what it means to the strong and beautiful Bride of Christ.
[/quote]

going off on this, I often feel annoyed that I must accept or be convinced that I am beautiful. You know? Isn't the list contradictory in that sense? The first one says that women have minds, hearts, and souls and that we're more than how haWT we are, but then about half the things on the list are centered around the freaking body! I don't get it. I mean if I got into a car accident and half of my face burnt off and was horribly mangled and disfigured wouldn't I still be intrinsically valuable even if I looked like a mutant creature?

We know the answer is yes, but why so much emphasis on the female body? Some people aren't attractive, and it wouldn't be such a big deal if there wasn't so much importance placed on it. All of our bodies are gonna turn into dust, not saying they aren't sacred, but we should place more focus on our hearts minds and souls regardless of gender.

End rant. Just my opinion

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='Ice_nine' date='20 July 2010 - 02:49 PM' timestamp='1279651796' post='2145528']
going off on this, I often feel annoyed that I must accept or be convinced that I am beautiful. You know? Isn't the list contradictory in that sense? The first one says that women have minds, hearts, and souls and that we're more than how haWT we are, but then about half the things on the list are centered around the freaking body! I don't get it. I mean if I got into a car accident and half of my face burnt off and was horribly mangled and disfigured wouldn't I still be intrinsically valuable even if I looked like a mutant creature?

We know the answer is yes, but why so much emphasis on the female body? Some people aren't attractive, and it wouldn't be such a big deal if there wasn't so much importance placed on it. All of our bodies are gonna turn into dust, not saying they aren't sacred, but we should place more focus on our hearts minds and souls regardless of gender.

End rant. Just my opinion
[/quote]

Interesting that you would point this out. It does seem that the men's list is more focused on character, and the women's list on beauty. Perhaps there should be something on the men's list about dressing respectfully and not sloppily i.e. a clean pair of jeans over a pair of jeans falling apart (or off!).

[ThePenciledOne]

[quote name='HisChildForever' date='20 July 2010 - 05:11 PM' timestamp='1279656689' post='2145574']
Interesting that you would point this out. It does seem that the [b]men's list is more focused on character, and the women's list on beauty[/b]. Perhaps there should be something on the men's list about dressing respectfully and not sloppily i.e. a clean pair of jeans over a pair of jeans falling apart (or off!).
[/quote]

Maybe it is because a women's beauty or how she thinks of herself is a reflection of her behavior. For a man that is not such the case at least not entirely so. For masculinity men need a more fixing on our internal for our strength comes from within not from hitting the gym.

[Hassan]

[quote name='ThePenciledOne' date='20 July 2010 - 04:51 PM' timestamp='1279659085' post='2145618']
For masculinity men need a more fixing on our internal for our strength comes from within not from hitting the gym.
[/quote]
Dairy moment