Common questions about religious or consecrated life

[MarysLittleFlower]

A question for anyone.. how would you answer questions like "are you running away from life?" or "doesn't this mean that are you afraid of marriage"? cause I think those are really common... I just can't really seem to articulate the answer in a way that makes sense. I can't seem to describe why religious life doesn't mean you're afraid of marriage, though clearly that's the truth that it doesn't mean that. The first question is also kind of tricky to answer for people who haven't felt a personal attraction to religious life. I think it's something really hard for people to understand if they never went through it themselves.. if they have a strong faith they can still appreciate it though I think.

I think it's different with marriage because most people have a natural attraction to marriage so that's more understood. Celibacy doesn't have a natural attraction rather a supernatural one only (I'm not saying that marriage has no supernatural meaning, of course it's a Sacrament and a path to holiness, and it can be God's Will for someone, what I mean is that since we have a natural desire for it it's more understood by others and related to. Some vocations involve a purely supernatural calling though).

[MarysLittleFlower]

Barbara, I'm sorry to hear that your vocation wasn't understood by others.. I definitely think that lay celibate life in the world is the least understood vocation and I've felt loneliness too in discerning it and in being single by choice myself. There can be misunderstanding even from other Catholics, and a sense of loneliness in the world because everyone around you seems to be married or getting married, or hoping to marry, and few understood why you don't want to - and not from some reason like dislike for men. In a convent there are different difficulties and trials but you're surrounded by people with similar vocation who understand it... in the world, it's different. I've felt this too though people haven't really made such comments to me, but it was just a realization of this reality. I think though this is a great opportunity to truly make Jesus everything to us... I think the more we have of human comfort, etc, or things in the world, the more 'room' we have in our heart for Jesus, for Him to be more to us. For example, if we don't have a spouse, He can be like a spouse in a spiritual way. If we are misunderstood by everyone else, we begin to appreciate more how He understands us perfectly. At least that has been my experience with Jesus using certain trials to help us God bless you!

[BarbTherese]

Barbara, I'm sorry to hear that your vocation wasn't understood by others.. I definitely think that lay celibate life in the world is the least understood vocation and I've felt loneliness too in discerning it and in being single by choice myself. There can be misunderstanding even from other Catholics, and a sense of loneliness in the world because everyone around you seems to be married or getting married, or hoping to marry, and few understood why you don't want to - and not from some reason like dislike for men. In a convent there are different difficulties and trials but you're surrounded by people with similar vocation who understand it... in the world, it's different. I've felt this too though people haven't really made such comments to me, but it was just a realization of this reality. I think though this is a great opportunity to truly make Jesus everything to us... I think the more we have of human comfort, etc, or things in the world, the more 'room' we have in our heart for Jesus, for Him to be more to us. For example, if we don't have a spouse, He can be like a spouse in a spiritual way. If we are misunderstood by everyone else, we begin to appreciate more how He understands us perfectly. At least that has been my experience with Jesus using certain trials to help us God bless you!

​What can I say but thank you very much and very well said indeed! 

[Carla]

​Yes, these are some really common questions, especially for young women. I suppose you also get asked if you're afraid of men or of getting married? When someone doesn't really understand the vocation to religious life, they can be really insulting without even meaning to. It's hard for someone who doesn't understand to even imagine that a religious sister could be fulfilled and happy with such a life. 

I think you're wise to keep some things private so you can focus. Best wishes.

​Thank you from my heart for your wishes.Yes i get also that kind of questions and it insult me in many ways.Sadly people this in now days that if you joining religious life that something is wrong with you.That is bother me in some way.I'm thinking that i very normal and only i know what i want from my life it is not weakness it is strength.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Yes I'm beginning to see that the thing that brings me so much joy could be misunderstood by others or even be seen as odd. In the worst cases it makes me feel lonely in discernment but I'm trying to remember how Jesus sees it instead. 

[TheresaThoma]

As far as the marriage one goes. I tell people that I am open to it but right now I feel that God is calling me to religious life. 

For the running away from life. I typically laugh a bit. I have experience in living in a community setting (non religious) and I tell people that you can't escape life in that setting. Community is a very harsh mirror, any flaws or coping mechanisms will come up. After living in that community I know it is easier to escape from "life" in the world (internet movies, getting to go home and be alone at the end of the night etc)  than it is in a community.

[marigold]

As far as the marriage one goes. I tell people that I am open to it but right now I feel that God is calling me to religious life. 

For the running away from life. I typically laugh a bit. I have experience in living in a community setting (non religious) and I tell people that you can't escape life in that setting. Community is a very harsh mirror, any flaws or coping mechanisms will come up. After living in that community I know it is easier to escape from "life" in the world (internet movies, getting to go home and be alone at the end of the night etc)  than it is in a community.

​A-M-E-N.