curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 2 of my good freinds got in this real big fight to the point of involving their moms and threats of lawsuits. Now it bugs me that they have this grudge against each other. So im trying to get them to at least make peace. But neither is really willing. What does one do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 oh then im accused of getting into other people's bussinesss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForHimAlone Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Sometimes you just have to sit on the sidelines during these things. I'm in a very similar situation right now, but not to the point of lawsuits. Scary! Just be there for both your friends, and try to be impartial to either side. However, if one of your friends is clearly in the wrong, you may want to talk with your other friend and try to work it out with a dialogue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 im saying their both wrong because they wont forgive each other thats why i take this as a matter of faith- Christ said to forgive your neighbor and their not doing that- so didnt like st. paul say to correct your neighbor if he is doing wrong? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForHimAlone Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Yes, correcting others in their faults is good and actually, a very charitable and merciful thing to do. If there is any way you can soothe your friends into reconciliation, that would of course be the best thing to do. Maybe give it a little time. These things usually pass and reconciliation is made. Just stand firm in your desire to be as Christ to your friends, and love them both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 well I'm called a hypocrite or prying into other people's bussiness when I do that- so I'm kinda confused as to weather I'm really being annoying and prying or am I doing God's will and doing good- what Christ said to do in trying to help my freinds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Forgiveness needs to come from their hearts, not imposed by an outside party. There may be deeper issues that need to be worked out (especially if there are threats of lawsuits). I don't know how serious it is, but [i]unless it affects you personally[/i] (like if they are in a church group or sports team that you may be responsible for) or if there is the possibility of violence, butt out and let them work it out themselves. If you've made your shpiel on the need to forgive once, you're done your responsibility; pushing it could potentially only add more fuel to the fire. Also, are these friends male or female or one of each? And how old are they? Different genders and age groups process grudges differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 both girls- 15 years old Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 ok I've said my part and will try and keep out of it directly but will pray for you guys- I hope you guys can work things out and make peace soon thats what i just told both of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 [quote name='curtins' date='Feb 12 2006, 11:34 AM']what Christ said to do in trying to help my freinds [right][snapback]884733[/snapback][/right] [/quote] I'm going to speak from personal experience here. One of the greatest annoyances in life is someone with a messiah complex arrogantly trying to think that he or she knows how to help me, especially if they have not been in my shoes. When I want help from someone, I will ask for it, and I will tell what help I need, since I more than likely know the situation better than a busybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 thats basically what one of them said darned if you do- darned if you dont Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 [quote name='curtins' date='Feb 12 2006, 11:38 AM']both girls- 15 years old [right][snapback]884738[/snapback][/right] [/quote] OK, then I can see the possibility of a grudge growing serious there. In [i]my experience[/i], I've noticed that males seem to argue or fight and get it over with, whereas females can be more catty and carry the grudge. And we also have to deal wit the high school clique mentality (do they both attend the same school?). Let them work it out, but just keep an eye on it in case it grows more serious (like fights in the school cafeteria or vandalism to school lockers). But if my previous post sounds harsh, I apologize, this just seems a bit too serious for you to handle and solve on your own and you should not lose sleep if you can't solve their problems for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curtins Posted February 12, 2006 Author Share Posted February 12, 2006 they both go to my school. I really doubt that it would escalate into something physical- they're both more serious about their faith than most ppl- so they wouldnt do something like that- but thats why im trying to get them to stop this grudge- i mean one of them has on her profile- 96% of teens won't stand for Christ -- if you're part of the 4% that will, you'll put this in your profile. so im like well if u stand for Christ then you should forgive her- etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Also, are you male or female? And do you attend the same school as them? Are they in your circle of friends? Whereas you may not be able to get them talking again, perhaps [i]group peer pressure[/i] could make things move along. But the bottom line is this: this has already escalated to the point of lawsuits, so even group peer pressure may take a while. And then you have to worry about the parents!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norseman82 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 [quote name='curtins' date='Feb 12 2006, 11:50 AM']they both go to my school. I really doubt that it would escalate into something physical- they're both more serious about their faith than most ppl- so they wouldnt do something like that- but thats why im trying to get them to stop this grudge- i mean one of them has on her profile- 96% of teens won't stand for Christ -- if you're part of the 4% that will, you'll put this in your profile. so im like well if u stand for Christ then you should forgive her- etc [right][snapback]884748[/snapback][/right] [/quote] Actually, if both are active in their faith, either or both of them might have convinced themselves that God is on their side, only making matters worse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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