Sharing One's Problems To Others

[Norseman82]

There is the famous quote about feeling bad about not having shoes until you meet a person without any feet. Of course, there are ignorant people who would then tell the person with no feet that they shouldn't complain because there are people who have no arms as well....

In the original instance, I don't know if it is so much a case of selfishness as much as not having his priorities straight. But, if he does not get over the momentary disappointment, it could be a symptom of underlying selfishness.

I think the question to be asked is: what will happen if I do not achieve or attain this? Is it necessary for life, health, safety, employment, and/or family life? Not seeing a "big game" is not going to kill you, whereas losing your job when you have a family to support or constantly being rebuffed when you are trying to get married so you can restore your family or being sent to jail due to a false accusation can and does indeed have serious consequences.

[quote name='alicemary' post='1426717' date='Nov 29 2007, 10:12 AM']We are all meant to share each others burdens.[/quote]

Yes, and I recall that comes straight from one of St. Paul's letters.

[Starets]

Another aspect of the picture is discretion. From my own experience, I have found that if you broadcast that you are hurt, it drives the good people away and lets the predators know that there's fresh blood about. There are some people who I will never open up to. If they happen to see me looking sad and they ask me if anything is wrong, they get a curt "none of your business" in reply. There are false friends and friends who become enemies.

[Paladin D]

I appreciate the responses [b]I-Love, MS, Ash, Lena, TGoldson, ADusk, AliceM, Prose, Missionseeker, Norseman,[/b] and [b]Staretz[/b].

Lot of helpful insight. There's a lot I can comment on, but to address a few...




[quote name='prose' post='1426764' date='Nov 29 2007, 02:05 PM']Many people, by nature, like supporting others. So, if you are denying them the opportunity to support you, then you are being selfish (how do you like that twist??)[/quote]

You got me there!


[quote name='missionseeker' post='1426767' date='Nov 29 2007, 02:11 PM']I think sharing problems is a trust thing. Trust is valueable. Very valueable. I've been thinking about it recently, if someone shares their troubles with you, it's kind of like a way to show love. It seems odd, but it's the same when we share with someone else. It's like we are showing that we care enough about that person to let them close. To let them see us at our worst. because we trust that they will still care about us.

i don't know if that makes sense.[/quote]

Makes sense to me.


[quote name='Staretz' post='1426986' date='Nov 29 2007, 10:21 PM']Another aspect of the picture is discretion. From my own experience, I have found that if you broadcast that you are hurt, it drives the good people away and lets the predators know that there's fresh blood about. There are some people who I will never open up to. If they happen to see me looking sad and they ask me if anything is wrong, they get a curt "none of your business" in reply. There are false friends and friends who become enemies.[/quote]

It makes absolute perfect sense, which is why I'm careful on who I share my personal problems with.

[cmotherofpirl]

The word complain is made up of two parts: community and pain.
It depends on why you are complaining. Are you complaining because you need help. are in pain, are you playing the victim and trying to control other people,? Are you complaining to whine or change something for the better?Are you one of those people who equates the pain of a hangnail with a broken leg, and are lacking a sense of proportion? Is what you are complaining about affecting your liveihood, your way or life, your children and future grandchildren? Will it be important in a year?
Motivation and proportion are important here.

My son was in his brother's car Wednesday and hit by a transit bus, was knocked out cold and has a concussion, and lots of body pain. Does he have someting to complain about? Yes!. He and his brother are out of a car.
Does he have something to be grateful about ? Yes! He is alive.

[Paladin D]

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1427262' date='Nov 30 2007, 10:05 AM']The word complain is made up of two parts: community and pain.
It depends on why you are complaining. Are you complaining because you need help. are in pain, are you playing the victim and trying to control other people,? Are you complaining to whine or change something for the better?Are you one of those people who equates the pain of a hangnail with a broken leg, and are lacking a sense of proportion? Is what you are complaining about affecting your liveihood, your way or life, your children and future grandchildren? Will it be important in a year?
Motivation and proportion are important here.

My son was in his brother's car Wednesday and hit by a transit bus, was knocked out cold and has a concussion, and lots of body pain. Does he have someting to complain about? Yes!. He and his brother are out of a car.
Does he have something to be grateful about ? Yes! He is alive.[/quote]

Absolutely. Thanks [b]Cmom[/b].

Sorry to hear about your son, is he doing well now?

[missionseeker]

so... I was thinking more about this....

and listening to the Beatles....

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
for well you know that he's a fool
who plays it cool
by making his wolrd a little colder ....


which pretty true.

But then I was thinking even more.

[img]http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k297/Chant_Chick/passion-of-the-christ-3.jpg[/img]


[img]http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k297/Chant_Chick/Simon800wH.jpg[/img]

even Christ had help carrying His cross.