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The Really Bad Jokes Thread


Selah

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Joke 1: There was a married couple that had twin boys. They named one Hungry and the other Thirsty. Once when Hungry wanted something to drink he told his parents that he was thirsty and they said, "No you're not. You're Hungry." Then when Thirsty wanted something to eat he exclaimed that he was hungry. His parents said, "No you're not. You're Thirsty."



Joke 2: What do you call a turtle with three legs?

Answer: a turtle with three legs



Joke 3: Knock knock.

Whose there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Ornage you going to let me in?



Joke 4: (This one may actually amuse some people.)

What do you get when you cross Fred Flintstone with Homer Simpson?

Answer: "Yabba Dabba D'no!"

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  • 4 months later...
dominicansoul

Chickens

A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.'

The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!'

The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!'

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.

She followed them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was kept repeating, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."


:mellow:

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Not A Mallard

I read this from Catholic Digest:

A priest visits a Sunday school after the kindergardeners get out and one of them saw the white tab on the priest's collar and asked "Do you have an ouchy?" The kid thought it was a bandage. "No," replied the priest, and then took the tab out and gave it to the kid. The kid took it and saw some writing on the back of it. The priest asked "Do you know what it says?", and the kid answered "Yeah," even though he didn't know how to read, "Kills flees and ticks for up to six months!"

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dominicansoul

[quote name='Not A Mallard' post='1869401' date='May 17 2009, 12:11 PM']I read this from Catholic Digest:

A priest visits a Sunday school after the kindergardeners get out and one of them saw the white tab on the priest's collar and asked "Do you have an ouchy?" The kid thought it was a bandage. "No," replied the priest, and then took the tab out and gave it to the kid. The kid took it and saw some writing on the back of it. The priest asked "Do you know what it says?", and the kid answered "Yeah," even though he didn't know how to read, "Kills flees and ticks for up to six months!"[/quote]

this doesn't belong in this thread, 'cos that's a pretty good joke.....

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[quote name='The Bus Station' post='1869517' date='May 17 2009, 04:27 PM']Your life. :mellow:[/quote]
Your face.


HEY-OH!!

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Not A Mallard

[quote name='dominicansoul' post='1869474' date='May 17 2009, 04:03 PM']this doesn't belong in this thread, 'cos that's a pretty good joke.....[/quote]
just wanted to share



What were Tarzan's last words?

"Who greased the grape vine?"

Edited by Not A Mallard
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hoosieranna

I have a sadly large supply of bad jokes as my grandfather is the king of lame humor. Ready? Here goes.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What's Irish and sits outside? Patio furniture (or Paddy O'Furniture :wacko: ).
What do you call a three legged donkey? A wonky.
Why did the one armed man fall out of the tree? Someone waved at him.
What's brown and sticky? A stick (my sister's favorite).

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Not A Mallard

[quote name='Nadezhda' post='1870183' date='May 18 2009, 01:25 PM']What's Irish and sits outside? Patio furniture (or Paddy O'Furniture :wacko: ).[/quote]
This is a really good joke

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Noel's angel

[quote name='Hilde' post='1869803' date='May 18 2009, 04:03 AM']Two tomatoes walk over a road, then one gets hit by a bus. Then the other says "Come on ketchup!"[/quote]

Why am I having a good giggle?

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