A Letter From Satan

[T-Bone _]

A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores.
You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn’t even
bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night.
You are so unthankful, I like that about you. I cannot tell you
how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living.
Fool, you are mine.

Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still
don’t love you yet.
As a matter of fact,

I hate you

because I hate God.

I am only using you to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven,
and I’m going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.
You see,
Fool,

GOD LOVES YOU

and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your
life to me, and I’m going to make your life a living hell. That
way,we’ll be together twice.
This will really hurt God.

Thanks to you, I’m really showing Him who’s boss in your life. With
all of the good times we’ve had. We have been:

watching dirty movies

cursing people out

stealing

lying

being hypocritical

fornicating

overeating

telling dirty jokes

gossiping

backstabbing people

disrespecting adults in leadership
positions

NO respect for the church

bad attitudes……

SURELY you don’t want to give all this up.

Come on, Fool,
let’s burn together
forever.
I’ve got some hot plans for us.

This is just a letter of appreciation from me
to you. I’d like to say “THANKS” for letting me use you for most
of your foolish life. You are so gullible,
I laugh at you.

When you are tempted to sin, you give in. HA,HA,HA, you make me sick!!
Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years
older.

And now,
I need new blood.

So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is
smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip,
fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the
presence of children and they will do it too.
Kids are like that.

Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now.
I’ll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were
smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God
with what little bit of life that you have left. It’s not my nature to
warn anyone, but to be your age and still
sinning, it’s becoming a bit ridiculous.

Don’t get me wrong,
I still
hate
you.

IT’S JUST THAT YOU’D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.

P.S. - And if you really love me, you won’t
share this letter with anyone

[Hassan]

I prayed before all my meals. Even after I left High School and went on, I still prayed. Not just meals, whenever I consumed anything, even water.
"Bless us oh Lord for these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thou bounty through Christ our Lord Amen"

In fact after I "left the faith" so to say it was a hard habit to break, I mean I just did it reflexively.

So my only point is that praying before you eat only does so much good

Where have you been? I've missed your funny comments

[Saint Therese]

well, that's quite terrifying. Thank you.

[Hassan]

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1732810' date='Dec 20 2008, 09:47 PM']well, that's quite terrifying. Thank you. [/quote]

What's terrifying is tose individuals in your picture wearing white after labour day

[Galloglasses' Alt]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1732791' date='Dec 20 2008, 08:24 PM']A LETTER TO YOU FROM SATAN

I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores.
You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn’t even
bless your meals, or pray before going to bed last night.
You are so unthankful, I like that about you. I cannot tell you
how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living.
Fool, you are mine.

Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still
don’t love you yet.
As a matter of fact,

I hate you

because I hate God.

I am only using you to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven,
and I’m going to use you as long as possible to pay him back.
You see,
Fool,

GOD LOVES YOU

and HE has great plans in store for you. But you have yielded your
life to me, and I’m going to make your life a living hell. That
way,we’ll be together twice.
This will really hurt God.

Thanks to you, I’m really showing Him who’s boss in your life. With
all of the good times we’ve had. We have been:

watching dirty movies

cursing people out

stealing

lying

being hypocritical

fornicating

overeating

telling dirty jokes

gossiping

backstabbing people

disrespecting adults in leadership
positions

NO respect for the church

bad attitudes……

SURELY you don’t want to give all this up.

Come on, Fool,
let’s burn together
forever.
I’ve got some hot plans for us.

This is just a letter of appreciation from me
to you. I’d like to say “THANKS” for letting me use you for most
of your foolish life. You are so gullible,
I laugh at you.

When you are tempted to sin, you give in. HA,HA,HA, you make me sick!!
Sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years
older.

And now,
I need new blood.

So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is
smoke, get drunk or drink while under-aged, cheat, gamble, gossip,
fornicate, and live being as selfish as possible. Do all of this in the
presence of children and they will do it too.
Kids are like that.

Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now.
I’ll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were
smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God
with what little bit of life that you have left. It’s not my nature to
warn anyone, but to be your age and still
sinning, it’s becoming a bit ridiculous.

Don’t get me wrong,
I still
hate
you.

IT’S JUST THAT YOU’D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.

P.S. - And if you really love me, you won’t
share this letter with anyone[/quote]

Well this is a tad unsettling.

And by Tad I mean incredibly, unsettling.

[Brother Adam]

Screwtape letters is even better

[Galloglasses' Alt]

I heard it was funny.

[Hassan]

[quote name='Brother Adam' post='1732835' date='Dec 20 2008, 10:24 PM']Screwtape letters is even better [/quote]

my favoriate book by Lewis by far

[CatherineM]

I thought it said "a letter from Santa"

[Saint Therese]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1732857' date='Dec 20 2008, 09:58 PM']I thought it said "a letter from Santa"[/quote]

[Hassan]

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1732857' date='Dec 20 2008, 10:58 PM']I thought it said "a letter from Santa"[/quote]


[img]http://evil-se7en.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/evil-santa.jpg[/img]

[CatherineM]

I just got through watching a "Nightmare before Christmas," but I also love the Futurama Santa. He's definitely closer to who T-Bone was talking about.

[jeffpugh]

[quote name='T-Bone _' post='1732791' date='Dec 20 2008, 08:24 PM']...Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now.
I’ll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were
smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God
with what little bit of life that you have left. It’s not my nature to
warn anyone, but to be your age and still
sinning, it’s becoming a bit ridiculous.
...[/quote]
Um... I'm pretty sure he'd leave that part out.

[quote name='Saint Therese' post='1732810' date='Dec 20 2008, 08:47 PM']well, that's quite terrifying. Thank you. [/quote]
Terrifying? Really?

[quote name='CatherineM' post='1732857' date='Dec 20 2008, 09:58 PM']I thought it said "a letter from Santa"[/quote]
lawl

[quote name='Hassan' post='1732879' date='Dec 20 2008, 10:24 PM'][img]http://evil-se7en.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/evil-santa.jpg[/img]

[/quote]
LAWL! I saw that episode today!

"You've all been very naughty. Except for you professor Zoidberg! Have a pogostick!"

Edited December 21, 2008 by Sacred Music Man

[KnightofChrist]

Not so dear Satan,

We drive you from us, whoever you may be, unclean spirits, all satanic powers, all infernal invaders, all wicked legions, assemblies and sects. In the Name and by the power of Our Lord Jesus Christ, + may you be snatched away and driven from the Church of God and from the souls made to the image and likeness of God and redeemed by the Precious Blood of the Divine Lamb. +

Most cunning serpent, you shall no more dare to deceive the human race, persecute the Church, torment God's elect and sift them as wheat. + The Most High God commands you, + He with whom, in your great insolence, you still claim to be equal. “God who wants all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (I Tim. 2,4). God the Father commands you. + God the Son commands you. + God the Holy Ghost commands you. + Christ, God's Word made flesh, commands you; + He who to save our race outdone through your envy, “humbled Himself, becoming obedient even unto death” (Phil.2,8); He who has built His Church on the firm rock and declared that the gates of hell shall not prevail against Her, because He will dwell with Her “all days even to the end of the world” (Matt. 28,20). The sacred Sign of the Cross commands you, + as does also the power of the mysteries of the Christian Faith. + The glorious Mother of God, the Virgin Mary, commands you; + she who by her humility and from the first moment of her Immaculate Conception crushed your proud head. The faith of the holy Apostles Peter and Paul, and of the other Apostles commands you. + The blood of the Martyrs and the pious intercession of all the Saints command you. +

Thus, cursed dragon, and you, diabolical legions, we adjure you by the living God, + by the true God, + by the holy God, + by the God “who so loved the world that He gave up His only Son, that every soul believing in Him might not perish but have life everlasting” (Jn 3,16); stop deceiving human creatures and pouring out to them the poison of eternal damnation; stop harming the Church and hindering her liberty. Begone, Satan, inventor and master of all deceit, enemy of man's salvation. Give place to Christ in Whom you have found none of your works; give place to the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church acquired by Christ at the price of His Blood. Stoop beneath the all-powerful Hand of God; tremble and flee when we invoke the Holy and terrible Name of Jesus, this Name which causes hell to tremble, this Name to which the Virtues, Powers and Dominations of heaven are humbly submissive, this Name which the Cherubim and Seraphim praise unceasingly repeating: Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord, the God of Host

See you in hell from the Glory of Heaven!
Knight

[jeffpugh]

Excercism