cmotherofpirl Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 Agreed. My son is going to live and work at home at least a year, he has $80,000 in loans to pay down. Fortunately, he has already started the job part-time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 My schools have been INCREDIBLY young (one was in it's second year and this one is.. maybe 7?) and I got MUCH better scholarships than Franciscan. Same with Christendom. I don't think that's really a good explanation, but maybe that's just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 [quote name='Luthien' post='1753514' date='Jan 16 2009, 11:54 PM']Babies are a huge responsibility, there is no question. But lots of "poor" people have children, people that still have student loans, and work at Home Depot. I know of 3 couples in this type of situation. Its hard, but its definantly doable. There are reasons for NFP, like illness, dire financial situations, or mental health of the parents. I would definantly talk to a solid priest about this, because I don't think anyone here is qualified to tell you what you should do in your situation.[/quote] Are Micah and I one of the three couples? lol Slappo, My advice is to speak with a priest, particularly one whose judgment you trust and who knows you and your situation. We cannot know every detail of the situation and we also have varying opinions. As much as I value the opinion of Phatmassers, we cannot be privy to every detail and most phatmassers are not trained in this type of pastoral care, except our resident priests. Go and speak with your priest. And definitely pray about it. My husband and I were and are in a similar situation as you are. God had his own plans and blessed us with a little boy, only 10 or so months into our marriage. It can be done but it takes sacrifice. God Bless and you'll be in my prayers, Jennie [quote name='tinytherese' post='1754967' date='Jan 19 2009, 12:37 AM']Why doesn't FUS offer more financial aid anyway? Like more than a thousand dollars or two in grants or scholarships and then a bunch of loans to be taken out? That's one of the reasons that I decided not to go there, is because of the poor amount of financial aid there. [/quote] I got a lot of Fin Aid from Franciscan, but I also received a lot from the government as well. My second semester there I was denied a private loan for my third semester. I was heading into my senior year as a Theology major and it looked like I would not be returning. I went in a spoke to the Fin Aid office, and they were a wonderful help. I was moving off campus which saved about 3,000 a semester and I was working a full-time job, while going to school full time. The University saw that there was no more that I could do to help cover my tuition. My mom could not co-sign a loan with me because my step-dad would not let her and my dad is on disability so they would not let him co-sign either. So, I was on my own. FUS gave me over 6,000 in extra aid for my last year of school. Franciscan will help, but you have to ask and they have to know that you're exhausting all your efforts to go there. I graduated with $20,000 in student loans at low rates so not too bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luthien Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 [quote name='tinytherese' post='1754967' date='Jan 19 2009, 03:37 AM']I got a lot of Fin Aid from Franciscan, but I also received a lot from the government as well. My second semester there I was denied a private loan for my third semester. I was heading into my senior year as a Theology major and it looked like I would not be returning. I went in a spoke to the Fin Aid office, and they were a wonderful help. I was moving off campus which saved about 3,000 a semester and I was working a full-time job, while going to school full time. The University saw that there was no more that I could do to help cover my tuition. My mom could not co-sign a loan with me because my step-dad would not let her and my dad is on disability so they would not let him co-sign either. So, I was on my own. FUS gave me over 6,000 in extra aid for my last year of school. Franciscan will help, but you have to ask and they have to know that you're exhausting all your efforts to go there. I graduated with $20,000 in student loans at low rates so not too bad.[/quote] I remember how busy you were back in those days, you'd come to the Projo's EXHAUSTED! Someone made the point that the reason FUS doesn't have aid, is because its grads go into non-lucrative fields. My thing is, they've been building dorms and doing renovations of things that don't need them (caf) They have money, I just dont think they're using it wisely. But Im a critic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 [quote name='missionseeker' post='1755187' date='Jan 19 2009, 12:03 PM']My schools have been INCREDIBLY young (one was in it's second year and this one is.. maybe 7?) and I got MUCH better scholarships than Franciscan. Same with Christendom. I don't think that's really a good explanation, but maybe that's just me.[/quote] I graduated from Christendom with 13k in loans. They were very generous to me with loans and especially grants. Christendom's financial aid is need based, they look at income and number of dependents, etc., so if on paper you look better than the next kid the next kid is getting better aid--I know some of my friends wound up with higher loans because on paper (although in my case it wasn't just on paper, they really were better off) they were better off than my family was so I was granted more in grants (hence lower loans). [quote name='StColette' post='1755193' date='Jan 19 2009, 12:09 PM'] Are Micah and I one of the three couples? lol Slappo, My advice is to speak with a priest, particularly one whose judgment you trust and who knows you and your situation. We cannot know every detail of the situation and we also have varying opinions. As much as I value the opinion of Phatmassers, we cannot be privy to every detail and most phatmassers are not trained in this type of pastoral care, except our resident priests. Go and speak with your priest. And definitely pray about it. My husband and I were and are in a similar situation as you are. God had his own plans and blessed us with a little boy, only 10 or so months into our marriage. It can be done but it takes sacrifice. God Bless and you'll be in my prayers, Jennie[/quote] I absolutely agree. You'll get varying opinions on what's "right", but ultimately the Church leaves the discerning of what is "just matter" to the individual couple. She gives us guidelines to follow but what is serious for me may not be serious enough for you, and what applies to Jennie and Micah may just be a minor hurdle for my husband and I. Consulting with a priest is most definitely a good idea. When I've had struggles speaking with my priest helped me more than advice from anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ziggamafu Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 (edited) I am in a position to give advice on the deliberation and responsibility required in timing one's marriage appropriately. And my advice is this: the loving way to enter into marriage - for the sake of your family - is to do so only with a feasible game-plan and only when you have, with consideration, been able to manage your own life. I don't like the fluffy talk about one's fiance being one's "other half" or "completing" oneself. If you are not in a position to feel that you are a well-managed, "complete" person by yourself then it would not seem that you are psychologically prepared for marriage. People do not have to be rich, perfect, or debt-free to get married. But they should at least be in a position that can take responsibility for a family, with the kind of foresight and self-management necessary to be considerate and loving spouses and parents. Everyone is flawed; that does not mean that people in any kind of duress should get married before that duress has been resolved to at least a [i]manageable [/i]extent. And, honestly, I suppose I have nothing more than that to contribute to the OP (who has already clarified that he is in a position to manage a family and has, with all due responsibility, made a plan for such a scenario). Edited January 19, 2009 by cmotherofpirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missionseeker Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 [quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1755219' date='Jan 19 2009, 12:52 PM']I graduated from Christendom with 13k in loans. They were very generous to me with loans and especially grants. Christendom's financial aid is need based, they look at income and number of dependents, etc., so if on paper you look better than the next kid the next kid is getting better aid--I know some of my friends wound up with higher loans because on paper (although in my case it wasn't just on paper, they really were better off) they were better off than my family was so I was granted more in grants (hence lower loans).[/quote] yeah, I'm working on paying back an institutional loan (were not eligible federal loans at the time) of 4800 hundred from SCC while taking nine classes and working 20 hours a week at Ave Maria I took out about 7k in loans FOR THIS YEAR ONLY. (and I need to pay interest on one of them if I can cuz it's non subsidized and oy :S ) I have no idea what I am going to do for next year. (Because I am taking so many classes and working so much my GPA took a hit, but ya gotta do what you gotta do, eh?) But I am one of those people who refuses to go up to my ears in debt for something that I don't even know if I'm gonna use... heh. (But hey, a music degree is SOOO much more marketable than a philosophy/theology one, which is what I had ) I'm hoping to only have to borrow about 12k altogether and I'm hoping to *graduate* with only about 10k in debt. (If I graduate :/ ) I'm hoping that next year with three of us in college and 4 at home and my mom quitting her job (not that they are paying for it, though they help me if I need it) I can get more need based (but I may be at the max for that) . I am worried about my GPA, though. That was mostly my own fault, but yeah. (Though my sister has either the same or not as good of a gpa and has a free ride. (minus 300 bucks a semester, so not fair... ) But this thread reminds me of the WHY I am doing this. (I am feeling pretty burnt out right now, too so i need to remember.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 I've waited a year to go back to school so that I will be 24 and qualify as an independent student for financial aid purposes. It is one of the most expensive, but also very well endowed (George Washington University.) They were very generous with me the first go around (2.5 yrs= 5 grand in federally subsidized loans, everything else grants.) It well be interesting to be an old fogey among so many munchkins. But I only have three semesters left, so perhaps it won't be too bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 [quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1755263' date='Jan 19 2009, 11:40 AM']It well be interesting to be an old fogey among so many munchkins. But I only have three semesters left, so perhaps it won't be too bad.[/quote] Um, I've got 20 years on my classmates, and almost that much on the professors. If you're going to be an old fogey, what am I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted January 19, 2009 Share Posted January 19, 2009 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1755275' date='Jan 19 2009, 01:48 PM']Um, I've got 20 years on my classmates, and almost that much on the professors. If you're going to be an old fogey, what am I?[/quote] A Sensei. A wise sensei is always a student of his art. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted January 19, 2009 Author Share Posted January 19, 2009 [quote name='StColette' post='1755193' date='Jan 19 2009, 08:09 AM'] Are Micah and I one of the three couples? lol Slappo, My advice is to speak with a priest, particularly one whose judgment you trust and who knows you and your situation. We cannot know every detail of the situation and we also have varying opinions. As much as I value the opinion of Phatmassers, we cannot be privy to every detail and most phatmassers are not trained in this type of pastoral care, except our resident priests. Go and speak with your priest. And definitely pray about it. My husband and I were and are in a similar situation as you are. God had his own plans and blessed us with a little boy, only 10 or so months into our marriage. It can be done but it takes sacrifice. God Bless and you'll be in my prayers, Jennie[/quote] Thanks Jennie, I didn't create this thread so much based on my personal situation, but rather the topic in general. I am actually presenting my Theology Seminar next week on the ends of marriage, procreation as the primary end, and when the use of NFP for spacing children is appropriate within marriage. I think it just kind of turned more towards my situation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 [quote name='Ziggamafu' post='1755129' date='Jan 19 2009, 05:33 AM'][b]Woe, woe, woe! [/b]When did I [i]EVER [/i]say that it is "wrong" to practice NFP starting marriage when [i]"a child could be supported responsibly" [/i]should such a blessing occur? I have specifically targeted the irresponsibility of entering marriage in the midst of financial duress and debt enslavement, where a child is frantically and desperately avoided by means of NFP, which, although effective in itself, is not always effective in practice. Look back at my hypothetical illustration of Jim & Sarah, above. Jim is in a heckuva lot more trouble than you are but I specifically stated that he made his decision [i]responsibly[/i]. If you are able to draft a strategy that responsibly accounts for the well-being of a possible child, and you find that strategy reasonable, then of course you marry responsibly.[/quote] I don't recall you being ever specific that it had to be to a point where there was no feasable way to raise the child responsibly. Sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slappo Posted January 20, 2009 Author Share Posted January 20, 2009 As for loans... I didn't get a single penny financial aid from Franciscan... My parents make a lot of money because we're in Alaska (where Gas didn't drop much below $2.75 when it hit like 1.40 midwest), but with the cost of living and debt they racked up themselves they haven't helped at all other then my mom paying for a trip to come visit the school the year before I came. Therefore it all came out in loans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted January 20, 2009 Share Posted January 20, 2009 [quote name='Slappo' post='1755889' date='Jan 19 2009, 07:11 PM']As for loans... I didn't get a single penny financial aid from Franciscan... My parents make a lot of money because we're in Alaska (where Gas didn't drop much below $2.75 when it hit like 1.40 midwest), but with the cost of living and debt they racked up themselves they haven't helped at all other then my mom paying for a trip to come visit the school the year before I came. Therefore it all came out in loans.[/quote] I can understand this situation. My parents weren't able to help me with school either. My dad is disabled so he couldn't help with paying for school and my step-dad wouldn't allow my mom to help out. So I took a full time job while going to school 18 credit hours a week. It was tough and I was exhausted lol but it definitely kept my loans down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I just got the EWTN newsletter for March 2009 and there's going to be a new series called, "Natural Family Planning: Embracing the Marital Gift" for anyone who's interested. Airing in March on fridays at 10:30 p.m./9:30 p.m. central and saturdays at 2:00 a.m./1:00 a.m. central. Thirty minutes of NFP and Theology of the Body every week. Rock on! Also from Jason and Crystalina Evert and Brian Butler present their new tv series in March as well, "Theology of the Body for Teens." Thursdays at 11:30 p.m./10:30 p.m. central and fridays at 2:30 a.m./1:30 a.m. central (30 minutes.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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