Rejected.

[Tinkerlina]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1767747' date='Jan 31 2009, 04:25 PM']Suffering usually makes for good artists. Have you tried painting? (only half joking)[/quote]

That is an honestly good idea. Art in any form can be very therapeutic! -Katie

[Blanket Maker]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1767747' date='Jan 31 2009, 04:25 PM']Suffering usually makes for good artists. Have you tried painting? (only half joking)[/quote]

I have no artistic abilitities, espically in colors, if I ever do i go black and white, and never can I even draw a ball, always turns out to be a blob. As well in music, I used to play piano, but every time I play now I am loosing my abilities I have forgotten two of the three songs I have composed, and I'm not going to be getting those back any time soon.

So instead of watch myself degenerate on the piano, I just don't play it any more, and when people ask I say, "No I can't play"

Sweet story though, see my problem is not having to escape from anything, my parents did n ot abuse in the sense that is stereotypically thought of.

My abuse was neglect...unable to leave my house, no phone calls, no visitors, no parties, and they both worked, and I lived in an empty house after school.

And so my problem is, people will say, "You're a nice person, you help out." but they never show it. They tend to only say that line after I said, "I really feel worthless." "But you're not" "Show me"...."..you're just not" and that is not a comforting answer.

[kafka]

[quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1767747' date='Jan 31 2009, 03:25 PM']Suffering usually makes for good artists. Have you tried painting? (only half joking)[/quote]
or poetry!

Maybe try to write your thoughts down on paper. Also a good cry always help. Also try to think of Christ and all his psychological and emotional pain he had to undergo. That may help.

Also you could join in posting down at the lame board. People are pretty friendly there and sometimes people there meet in person.

Edited January 31, 2009 by kafka

[kafka]

well at least a good cry helps me.


I do know what you mean about long relationships eluding one. I have the same problem, and I havent quite figured out quite why yet. Usually I beat myself up about that, but that never helps me. Well I will continue to read your posts.

[Noel's angel]

[quote name='Blanket Maker' post='1767922' date='Feb 1 2009, 12:16 AM']I have no artistic abilitities, espically in colors, if I ever do i go black and white, and never can I even draw a ball, always turns out to be a blob. As well in music, I used to play piano, but every time I play now I am loosing my abilities I have forgotten two of the three songs I have composed, and I'm not going to be getting those back any time soon.

So instead of watch myself degenerate on the piano, I just don't play it any more, and when people ask I say, "No I can't play"

Sweet story though, see my problem is not having to escape from anything, my parents did n ot abuse in the sense that is stereotypically thought of.

My abuse was neglect...unable to leave my house, no phone calls, no visitors, no parties, and they both worked, and I lived in an empty house after school.

And so my problem is, people will say, "You're a nice person, you help out." but they never show it. They tend to only say that line after I said, "I really feel worthless." "But you're not" "Show me"...."..you're just not" and that is not a comforting answer.[/quote]




I know how you feel. I didn't pick up my violin for about 3 years because I felt like I had 'lost it'. But I got back to playing and it really gives me pleasure. I still have days when I round about the house saying 'That's it, I can't play anymore, it's gone!' but the next day I could come up with something beautiful. Stick at it, please.

[southern california guy]

We probably can all relate to the feelings of rejection. I've been depressed lately because I was dating a really nice Catholic lady (A kindergarten teacher) recently -- who I was starting to feel really close to -- then she e-mailed (Didn't call) and cancelled the date that we'd planned and said that she'd found somebody else that she liked better than me.... Owww... it still hurts...

And then to ad insult to injury, my friends tell me "Good grief I can't believe that you're not married. You're a big good looking nice guy."

Yeah, that really helps me feel better.....

I'd go to the local "Young Adults" activities, but I'm over forty now so I can't....

Of course I'm in sunny southern California. So I can always go down and walk on the beach -- by myself.....

[Nihil Obstat]

I've lost quite a number of years of piano playing too. If I had kept doing it, I'd probably be quite good right now, because at the same time I was playing clarinet and guitar, which very much added to my musicianship.
Someday I'll start playing again. We'll see how that works.

RE: Friends and acquaintances.

All I'll say is that you can't have friends if they aren't acquaintances first.
Traditionally I always had a hard time making friends. I was so shy I'd hardly talk to anybody, actually. I went through a few years with only a couple friends. That changed though. I don't know exactly how yet, but it did. Noe I have quite a few very close friends. Closer than I would have imagined five years ago.
I find that building strong friendships is easy if you open up as much as you can right at first. Tell them anything they ask, and ask whatever they're willing to tell you.

[Blanket Maker]

[quote name='kafka' post='1767925' date='Jan 31 2009, 07:24 PM']or poetry!

Maybe try to write your thoughts down on paper. Also a good cry always help. Also try to think of Christ and all his psychological and emotional pain he had to undergo. That may help.

Also you could join in posting down at the lame board. People are pretty friendly there and sometimes people there meet in person.[/quote]

Writing thoughts on paper, tends from "I...wish to write but what I do not know", and then compiles down to nothing more than repeating stories, that are much quicker told and better told in oral, not written.

Christ's psychological pain would have been much more if he were punished by having to life the course of his life, rejected for many years.

Sorry, but meeting people on site...is rather awkward, espically when I have yet to know a person (on here) to compel my thoughts past that of the surface. Thanks for the invite, I decline gladly.

[Blanket Maker]

[quote name='Noel's angel' post='1767930' date='Jan 31 2009, 07:57 PM']

I know how you feel. I didn't pick up my violin for about 3 years because I felt like I had 'lost it'. But I got back to playing and it really gives me pleasure. I still have days when I round about the house saying 'That's it, I can't play anymore, it's gone!' but the next day I could come up with something beautiful. Stick at it, please.[/quote]

You feel the similar way. Know indicated complete understanding, that can never be achieved.

IT is not a matter of practicing more, it's a matter of I have forgotten what was never written, and never recorded and it's never come back again. (granted time travel is out of the question).

And I shan't 'stick at it' as I stated, I refuse to suffer the young timers, alztimers of seeing your memory degrade. As well, I have stopped performing, and also people never once said 'thanks' or "i enjoyed that' the only ever said "Stop playing so loud."

that and the fact that I never enjoyed playing piano, I enjoyed people listening who enjoyed it, sadly, happened rarely.

(Also, your wish that I do not quite that which I already have, why do you wish that? Because you wish me to experience the same feelings as you? Interesting thought of mind)

[Blanket Maker]

[quote name='Nihil Obstat' post='1767939' date='Jan 31 2009, 08:19 PM']I find that building strong friendships is easy if you open up as much as you can right at first. Tell them anything they ask, and ask whatever they're willing to tell you.[/quote]

Agreed, I have never denied a question,

problem is, they never ask, and so conversations are short lived. It's as if this entire modern age of social interactions, only occur for the now and never for the later or past.

Thats what irritates me, how people never ask to know more, how they are content with the little they know, and live by assumptions alone.

[dauntingknight]

What about starting to learn how to play Chess?

[HisChildForever]

At my first college - I stayed there for one semester and then transferred to my current school - I was super homesick and just did not really "click" with anyone. I had two or three close girlfriends and was included in their group (by "group" I mean there was half a dozen of them from the same high school) but otherwise I felt like I "jumped" from group to group. My homesickness obviously did not help any. My parents faithfully brought me home every weekend (not exactly a short car ride). Those weekends I was lonely, because my town friends were away at college, and there I was at home (and since I felt miserable I was in no mood to go out with two local friends, although I did occasionally). I got through it by really focusing on my school work, reading, and watching movie...after movie...after movie. I would get lost in these movies. When I ran through my collection I picked through my older brother's, and then my younger brother's. I still have that fondness for movies, but I watch them now for enjoyment, not escape.

Anyway, right now my three best girlfriends are in separate parts of the world. One moved down south a couple of years ago, and two are studying abroad in Europe this semester (different countries). I have a couple of acquaintances, but the kind where either you see them once a month or you just never see them (you make tentative plans that just never work out). But I do have a bunch of people at school, like my best friend Adam and all the Salesians-in-training; plus friends from classes who I have acquired semester to semester. I commute - a bit of a long trip - so joining activities, evening meetings? Really not able to manage. I work part-time and while I do not "hang out" with my employees I have a few I would consider friends.

Honestly I feel like I am 35 (and no, there is nothing wrong with that). I am overly hyper and goofy [b]a lot[/b] of the time, but I do not do the typical party, drinking, etc. etc. that young adults in my age group do. I am quite content to stay at home on a Friday night and read. Seriously.

[Hassan]

Well. I have plenty of family who care for me and quite a few friends but no one I am really close to. That's just kind of always how it has been, I've really never been close to anyone in my life. Now that really does not bother me, except occasionally, because that is just how I've always been. If you need close relationships I'd suggust asking if perhapse it's something you are doing. I mean I come off cold and indifferent to people before they get to know me. I can't tell you how many people, once we get to know each other, say somehting along the lines of how different I am than they imagined at first. Perhapse you put off some vibe like that. If it bothers you then just try to change yourself a bit.

Hopes that helps.

[Hassan]

I guess what I'm getting at is that you can either complain about these things on the internet (which is fine, there is nothing wrong with venting) or you can do some serious introspection and figure out how you need to change yourself to fit how you want to interact with other people.

[Hassan]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1769061' date='Feb 1 2009, 11:04 PM']At my first college - I stayed there for one semester and then transferred to my current school - I was super homesick and just did not really "click" with anyone. I had two or three close girlfriends and was included in their group (by "group" I mean there was half a dozen of them from the same high school) but otherwise I felt like I "jumped" from group to group. My homesickness obviously did not help any. My parents faithfully brought me home every weekend (not exactly a short car ride). Those weekends I was lonely, because my town friends were away at college, and there I was at home (and since I felt miserable I was in no mood to go out with two local friends, although I did occasionally). I got through it by really focusing on my school work, reading, and watching movie...after movie...after movie. I would get lost in these movies. When I ran through my collection I picked through my older brother's, and then my younger brother's. I still have that fondness for movies, but I watch them now for enjoyment, not escape.

Anyway, right now my three best girlfriends are in separate parts of the world. One moved down south a couple of years ago, and two are studying abroad in Europe this semester (different countries). I have a couple of acquaintances, but the kind where either you see them once a month or you just never see them (you make tentative plans that just never work out). But I do have a bunch of people at school, like my best friend Adam and all the Salesians-in-training; plus friends from classes who I have acquired semester to semester. I commute - a bit of a long trip - so joining activities, evening meetings? Really not able to manage. I work part-time and while I do not "hang out" with my employees I have a few I would consider friends.

Honestly I feel like I am 35 (and no, there is nothing wrong with that). I am overly hyper and goofy [b]a lot[/b] of the time, but I do not do the typical party, drinking, etc. etc. that young adults in my age group do. I am quite content to stay at home on a Friday night and read. Seriously.[/quote]

I remember being homesick when I was little. Not well but sort of, I just remember it being a bad experience and am sorry to hear that you went through that. I thought it was really cool that your parents were willing to do that for you, they sound like great people.