Lil Red Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 +J.M.J.+ [url="http://www.people.com/people/news/category/0,,personsTax:GretaVanSusteren,00.html"]Source with video[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I prefer to say that it is difficult to instill, or has little support from society, not that it is unrealistic or unobtainable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I agree, Catherine. Besides, I've found that if you have high expectations, many will rise to meet them, but if you lower expectations, many will lower their efforts as well (hope that makes sense) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1783508' date='Feb 17 2009, 03:11 PM']I agree, Catherine. Besides, I've found that if you have high expectations, many will rise to meet them, but if you lower expectations, many will lower their efforts as well (hope that makes sense)[/quote] It makes perfect sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1783508' date='Feb 17 2009, 01:11 PM']I agree, Catherine. Besides, I've found that if you have high expectations, many will rise to meet them, but if you lower expectations, many will lower their efforts as well (hope that makes sense)[/quote] Agreed, perfect sense. I used to tell my boys to at least strive for excellence. We may not ever reach that level, but we should try. I had a little league mom tell me once that her kids were no angels, but at least they weren't on drugs. Talk about reaching for the lowest common denominator. I just looked at her and asked why she didn't want to try to help them be angels. I got nothing but a strange look in response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bone _ Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Because every teenager on the face of the planet has sex, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lost_in_this_world Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 i dont think that it is entirely unrealistic. i think sex ed in schools is a necessity and that abstinence along with safe sex should be taught. when i used to help out with the ccd classes at my church we had a night for parents and confirmation students to come and talk about sex and it didnt go over too well with many of the parents. and it was almsot sad that parents were upset and mad that we were having a discussion about sex and the sacredness of it at churhc. anyway i dont think its unrealistic but i do believe safe sex needs to be taught too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotusTuusMaria Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Abstinance is not "unrealistic at all." I've been doing it for almost 19 years and CatherineM over there was abstinant for 40 or so years. It is not "unrealistic." It is possible. It is not realistic when you have it mentioned for two minutes and then spend an hour telling students, "Now, if you are not going to be abstinant, here is how to use a condom." That is ridiculous, and no Catholic (or really any adult) in a teaching position should be teaching children how to have "safe sex." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rkwright Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Ok honestly, with the stuff that is being thrown at the youth of today, I almost agree with the statement... Turn on any of the TVs and there is plenty of premarital sex. Go to a high school and you can almost see it in the halls. The sex ed we're giving. I think I am just trying to say that given what we feed our kids about sex, it probably is unrealistic for them to practice abstinence. I realize there are exceptions, but if we want our teens to practice abstinence, we need to change their environment. This does not mean that we lower our standards (like Catherine M said). It means that we change something to meet our standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotusTuusMaria Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='rkwright' post='1783560' date='Feb 17 2009, 05:01 PM']Ok honestly, with the stuff that is being thrown at the youth of today, I almost agree with the statement... Turn on any of the TVs and there is plenty of premarital sex. Go to a high school and you can almost see it in the halls. The sex ed we're giving. I think I am just trying to say that given what we feed our kids about sex, it probably is unrealistic for them to practice abstinence. I realize there are exceptions, but if we want our teens to practice abstinence, we need to change their environment. This does not mean that we lower our standards (like Catherine M said). It means that we change something to meet our standards.[/quote] True. I can agree with that. But, abstinence is possible and it isn't as "absolutely unrealistic" as she thinks. If some things changed it certainly would be more realistic for more people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I found what worked when I had teenagers was supervision. I always knew where they were, what they were doing, who they were with, etc. They were never allowed in a house or car that didn't have a [i][b]responsible[/b][/i] adult present. That took a lot of work on my part. I had to meet and talk to other kids' parents. I had to be willing to drive kids around when I'd rather be at home watching TV. I had to watch movies I didn't like, go to concerts I hated, and do the leg work to find suitable things for them to do. I also had to be willing to say no, a lot. For a lot of parents, by the time the kids get to be teenagers, they are ready to let them loose and get some rest. I couldn't have done it if I had full time job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1783570' date='Feb 17 2009, 01:07 PM']I found what worked when I had teenagers was supervision. I always knew where they were, what they were doing, who they were with, etc. They were never allowed in a house or car that didn't have a [i][b]responsible[/b][/i] adult present. That took a lot of work on my part. I had to meet and talk to other kids' parents. I had to be willing to drive kids around when I'd rather be at home watching TV. I had to watch movies I didn't like, go to concerts I hated, and do the leg work to find suitable things for them to do. I also had to be willing to say no, a lot. For a lot of parents, by the time the kids get to be teenagers, they are ready to let them loose and get some rest. I couldn't have done it if I had full time job.[/quote] +J.M.J.+ yup, that's how my parents were. except i still got into trouble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose wrought of iron Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='rkwright' post='1783560' date='Feb 17 2009, 03:01 PM']Ok honestly, with the stuff that is being thrown at the youth of today, I almost agree with the statement... Turn on any of the TVs and there is plenty of premarital sex. Go to a high school and you can almost see it in the halls. The sex ed we're giving. I think I am just trying to say that given what we feed our kids about sex, it probably is unrealistic for them to practice abstinence. I realize there are exceptions, but if we want our teens to practice abstinence, we need to change their environment. This does not mean that we lower our standards (like Catherine M said). It means that we change something to meet our standards.[/quote] hmmm... at my school, you get in trouble for TOUCHING someone of the opposite sex... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinkerlina Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 [quote name='lost_in_this_world' post='1783526' date='Feb 17 2009, 03:26 PM']i dont think that it is entirely unrealistic. i think sex ed in schools is a necessity and that abstinence along with safe sex should be taught. when i used to help out with the ccd classes at my church we had a night for parents and confirmation students to come and talk about sex and it didnt go over too well with many of the parents. and it was almsot sad that parents were upset and mad that we were having a discussion about sex and the sacredness of it at churhc. anyway i dont think its unrealistic but i do believe safe sex needs to be taught too[/quote] Yes-I don't think it's unattainable but it is difficult and I think it's a tough issue in public schools because abstinence often has religious connotations. Of course there are many perfectly good reasons why abstinence is preferable to "safe sex", though it seems like many of them are moral and people who have different morals, coming from different backgrounds aren't necessarily going to care about issues of morality/ethics. I personally think they should just teach you what you need to know physiologically and leave moral issues to families and communities. (Though herein is another conondrum-what about kids who don't have involved families, etc...). Probably the best way is to teach both-many kids are going to make mistakes and I suppose I'd rather have someone on the pill having sex than someone having sex, getting pregnant and aborting. Though I don't exactly like that idea....-Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I don't get it. Its "unrealistic" to put off sex but its "realistic" to HAVE sex and expect to NOT get pregnant. Hello! I also don't get how "everyone should wait at least 10 years to have a baby" but yet to say "everyone should wait to have sex" is just impossible. Sure thing, jelly bean. You make a whole lot of sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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