HisChildForever Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) My younger brother is a senior in high school and has yet to apply for college (actually, my Mom filled out and submitted one application for him [he already had an essay written], and of course he is furious at her for this). Basically, he wants to go straight into the Marines. Initially he planned on going to a four-year college enrolled in the Marine Corps ROTC program, and just a few months ago got the sudden idea that he does not want to go to college. (Before [i]that[/i] he was gunning...excuse the pun...for a four-year college major in Criminal Justice with the interests of later becoming a police officer.) My brother is a bright kid but he is more "hands on" - for example he is a volunteer EMT, he is very athletic, and he coaches basketball for younger kids - but his grades are not the best. Arguably, he had to put in a lot of work for his EMT schools so clearly if he really wants something he can suffer through the schooling. My Mom is completely opposed to him joining the Marines (side note: he turns 18 in early June). She believes he will lose his identity and become a "killing machine," and will be deployed to the Middle East - which he may not come back from. She also believes that he has this stuck in his head because ever since he was younger he has been obsessed with war action movies and has this "glorified" view of the military and war. My Dad is also not happy about his decision but says that as much as he hates to be in this position (as a father) he will support my brother (having suggested he try the Navy or Air Force instead). My older brother and I are sort of sticking to the sidelines and are not encouraging my younger brother in any way. My brother HAS approached me about this before, taking me into his confidence (like how he kept changing his plans) and asking me for advice on how to broach the subject with our parents. I never really encouraged him to join the Marines but neither did I dissuade him from it. However I think I need to step in because apparently he skips out on meetings with the guidance counselor and even did so today, much to my Mom's absolute embarrassment. They had a meeting this afternoon after school to discuss his English grade and it turns out that while my brother did show up, he saw the counselor was busy and simply left before my Mom even got there. Obviously my Mom is embarrassed and furious, PLUS she took off early from work. My brother has pulled a stunt like this before, they were going to visit a college and he refused to get out of bed, and my Mom had purposefully taken off of work, so obviously my brother has a selfish streak going on. I told my Mom that she should suggest the community college to him - he can major in Criminal Justice and he can get a solid two years of college experience. By that point maybe he will want to pursue the police academy etc. I do not understand why my brother has this extreme urge to join the Marines NOWNOWNOW. My Mom is a wreck over this. I know for a fact that once he gets home from wherever he is (yes, he also turned his cell off) that he will lose all car privileges. But I am really not looking forward to all the shouting...like my Dad too is seriously mad. Any ideas on what I should do? Anyone have any similar experience(s)? Edited March 4, 2009 by HisChildForever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 How about you pray that God be with him in whatever he decides? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 [quote name='hugheyforlife' post='1797422' date='Mar 4 2009, 04:13 PM']How about you pray that God be with him in whatever he decides? [/quote] Oh, I know what I should have asked... Can anyone recommend a Saint? I thought of St. Michael but I was also thinking more along the lines of a patron Saint of the military (if one exists) and if there is a Novena? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 My oldest foster son hated school and wanted to go in the military. He wanted me to sign the papers for him to go at 17. His birthday was such that he graduated high school at 17. One of my older brothers had done the same thing, and I asked my mom how she handled sending him off at 17 during the Vietnam War. She said she felt like she had to. He was so miserable and angry that he was constantly getting into fights. He even got into a fight on the way into his graduation ceremony and ripped his gown. Some people aren't meant to go to college. My son certainly wasn't. Trying to force a square peg into a round hole just makes them more angry. The Marines wouldn't turn him into a killing machine. If he isn't capable of learning discipline, they will just send him home. Since he's going to be 18 soon, you may want to start setting the ground work for the type of relationship you want to have with him as adults. That's a hard transition. You want him to be open to at least listening to your advice. If he was my son, I'd try to steer him towards being a Marine medic. That means he has to join the Navy. I went to college with several guys who had been in the military first, and they were all more motivated to study, more serious, and had more money because the government was paying most of their way. He always has time to go to school. Besides, you never know, he might fail the physical for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 yeah. Look, some kids have potential and promise but squander it away doing something stupid. I've had some people like that in my family. Obviously I don't know your brother but from what you've provided he doesn't seem like that type. He seems like he type, I also have experience with in family, who may do stupid/irresponsible things but have the internal drive to go after what they want and make it in life even if the worry you at first. I mean if he's going to join the Marines then the best thing you all can do is make sure he knows what he's getting himself into (if he thinks he won't have to go to classes, boring tedious nonsense and such he's mistaken), and make sure he gets a good contract. Everything in writting, ask former Marines about it etc. And joining the Marines doesn't mean he can't get an education. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 [quote name='HisChildForever' post='1797427' date='Mar 4 2009, 05:18 PM']Oh, I know what I should have asked... Can anyone recommend a Saint? I thought of St. Michael but I was also thinking more along the lines of a patron Saint of the military (if one exists) and if there is a Novena?[/quote] [url="http://saints.sqpn.com/patrons-of-soldiers/"]http://saints.sqpn.com/patrons-of-soldiers/[/url] St. Michael covers soldiers, too, but check the link, there are several others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 [quote name='HisChildForever' post='1797427' date='Mar 4 2009, 04:18 PM']Oh, I know what I should have asked... Can anyone recommend a Saint? I thought of St. Michael but I was also thinking more along the lines of a patron Saint of the military (if one exists) and if there is a Novena?[/quote] A quick search on Catholic Online produced St. Maurice as patron of armies. St. Sebastian also comes to mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 [quote name='HisChildForever' post='1797427' date='Mar 4 2009, 03:18 PM']Oh, I know what I should have asked... Can anyone recommend a Saint? I thought of St. Michael but I was also thinking more along the lines of a patron Saint of the military (if one exists) and if there is a Novena?[/quote] St. Michael is the patron of the military, police, paratroopers, etc. He is the macho saint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Thank you to everyone for the very nice replies. [quote name='CatherineM' post='1797436' date='Mar 4 2009, 04:23 PM']If he was my son, I'd try to steer him towards being a Marine medic. That means he has to join the Navy. I went to college with several guys who had been in the military first, and they were all more motivated to study, more serious, and had more money because the government was paying most of their way. He always has time to go to school. Besides, you never know, he might fail the physical for some reason.[/quote] I will DEFINITELY bring this up, thank you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Oh wow, Saint Joan of Arc...how could I forget, she was my Confirmation pick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 [quote name='HisChildForever' post='1797427' date='Mar 4 2009, 04:18 PM']Can anyone recommend a Saint? I thought of St. Michael but I was also thinking more along the lines of a patron Saint of the military (if one exists) and if there is a Novena?[/quote] patrons of soldiers * Acacius * Adrian of Nicomedia * Faith * George * Ignatius of Loyola * James the Greater * Joan of Arc * Louis IX * Martin of Tours - personal fave because I was born on his feast day * Maurice * Michael the Archangel * Sebastian * Stanislaus of Cracow * Theodore Stratelates And if I remember Our Lady under the title of Immaculate Conception is the patron for US Soldiers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 After seeing that list I just get this visual of all these Saints scrambling around Heaven competing for prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 [quote name='HisChildForever' post='1797459' date='Mar 4 2009, 04:52 PM']After seeing that list I just get this visual of all these Saints scrambling around Heaven competing for prayers. [/quote] lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 [quote name='HisChildForever' post='1797403' date='Mar 4 2009, 04:32 PM']My younger brother is a senior in high school and has yet to apply for college (actually, my Mom filled out and submitted one application for him [he already had an essay written], and of course he is furious at her for this). Basically, he wants to go straight into the Marines. Initially he planned on going to a four-year college enrolled in the Marine Corps ROTC program, and just a few months ago got the sudden idea that he does not want to go to college. (Before [i]that[/i] he was gunning...excuse the pun...for a four-year college major in Criminal Justice with the interests of later becoming a police officer.) My brother is a bright kid but he is more "hands on" - for example he is a volunteer EMT, he is very athletic, and he coaches basketball for younger kids - but his grades are not the best. Arguably, he had to put in a lot of work for his EMT schools so clearly if he really wants something he can suffer through the schooling. My Mom is completely opposed to him joining the Marines (side note: he turns 18 in early June). She believes he will lose his identity and become a "killing machine," and will be deployed to the Middle East - which he may not come back from. She also believes that he has this stuck in his head because ever since he was younger he has been obsessed with war action movies and has this "glorified" view of the military and war. My Dad is also not happy about his decision but says that as much as he hates to be in this position (as a father) he will support my brother (having suggested he try the Navy or Air Force instead). My older brother and I are sort of sticking to the sidelines and are not encouraging my younger brother in any way. My brother HAS approached me about this before, taking me into his confidence (like how he kept changing his plans) and asking me for advice on how to broach the subject with our parents. I never really encouraged him to join the Marines but neither did I dissuade him from it. However I think I need to step in because apparently he skips out on meetings with the guidance counselor and even did so today, much to my Mom's absolute embarrassment. They had a meeting this afternoon after school to discuss his English grade and it turns out that while my brother did show up, he saw the counselor was busy and simply left before my Mom even got there. Obviously my Mom is embarrassed and furious, PLUS she took off early from work. My brother has pulled a stunt like this before, they were going to visit a college and he refused to get out of bed, and my Mom had purposefully taken off of work, so obviously my brother has a selfish streak going on. I told my Mom that she should suggest the community college to him - he can major in Criminal Justice and he can get a solid two years of college experience. By that point maybe he will want to pursue the police academy etc. I do not understand why my brother has this extreme urge to join the Marines NOWNOWNOW. My Mom is a wreck over this. I know for a fact that once he gets home from wherever he is (yes, he also turned his cell off) that he will lose all car privileges. But I am really not looking forward to all the shouting...like my Dad too is seriously mad. Any ideas on what I should do? Anyone have any similar experience(s)?[/quote] My daughter was somewhat the same way, but she went so far as to drop out of high school, and so didn't want to hear about going any college. I told her it was not one of the best ideas she ever had, but it was her decision, and she would have to live withi it. She immediately went and got her GED and started working fulltime at whatever job she could get, sometimes 2 or 3 jobs at once. She worked for 3 years before she decided on the military, and she has been happy as a clam since. She completed her first semester of college before she currrent stint started, taking 6 classes and made mostly A's. I couldn't be more proud of her if she had chosen a more traditional path. When a child reaches a certain age, as your brother is, you can suggest what you think is best for them, but it is his choice, and his life. Your mom can't make these decisions for him, and all the screaming and crying and ranting will make not the slightest difference in the end, and might alienate him for years. Some kids fly sooner than others. I certainly never thought my youngest would fly soonest. I think your parents should start visiting the various recruiters with him, and let him know they love and support whatever decision he makes. It is the hardest thing in the world to do, but it the last stage of being a parent - when you go from authority figure to advisor. As a parent our job is to raise kids and give them wings - THEN GET OUT OF THE WAY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) My daughter joined the army at 18 - she wanted to be a medic but they didn't have any openings, so she ended up becoming a cook. She is very happy and is even thinking about making the army her career now. He is going to be an adult soon - let him make his own decisions, and just entrust him to the loving care of Our Lady and whichever patron saint you choose. Sometimes we think we know what is best for other people, but they really need to live their own lives - while we pray for them to be guided by the Holy Spirit. That doesn't mean you can't give him advice, but just don't expect that he is obligated to follow it! My prayers are with you all Edited March 4, 2009 by nunsense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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