So I've Met This Girl...

[StColette]

lol My husband (Micah) and I met right her on Phatmass, which almost every phatmasser knows and experienced the entire process.

My advice is to talk often about everything and don't be in too big of a hurry. Things fall into place rather nicely when you don't stress yourself out and just take your time. Tell her things about your childhood and your family. Having knowledge of what a person's childhood was like and how a person's family is can really give you insight into the type of person they are or why they are the way they are.

Other than that I have nothing except prayers

[scardella]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1806234' date='Mar 13 2009, 04:34 PM']So how long would you suggest I wait before asking to talk on the phone and letting her know I have an interest in her? Let alone meeting. Three months a good time?

Also, is it weird to admit interest in her if we've never met? Sorry with all the questions, this is just new territory for me. But thanks.[/quote]

I think if you've been talking on the phone for a month or so, and you met on a dating website, you might as well admit that you're attracted to her. Don't keep her hanging for a long time. She might figure you're not interested. If it's eating you up, then let it out.

My main word of advice is this: be purposeful in your actions. I'm not saying plan everything out ahead of time, though. But if you like her, be ready to tell her WHY you like her. Think things through. Don't read a speech from cards, though.

Be able to answer these questions to yourself:
Why do I like her?
What makes me think that we'd be a good dating couple?
What would I bring to the table in a dating relationship?
Do I see any "red flags" in her or myself that would make dating unhealthy for either of us?
Am I open to the possibility of this turning into marriage? (This is not "If I had to decide today, would I marry her?" or something drastic like that.)

[reelguy227]

Alright, all of that advice has helped in planning out how to approach this. Thanks again guys. One last thing, should I just wait till after we get to know each other on the phone to talk about being attracted to her? For some reason I feel that's the best route to go, let me know what you guys think.

[Socrates]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1808690' date='Mar 16 2009, 12:14 PM']Alright, all of that advice has helped in planning out how to approach this. Thanks again guys. One last thing, should I just wait till after we get to know each other on the phone to talk about being attracted to her? For some reason I feel that's the best route to go, let me know what you guys think.[/quote]
You should talk on the phone at least once before arranging a face-to-face meeting. (Almost every girl I've asked has given me her digits.)
While online chatting or on the phone, you can say complimentary things, but keep it fun and flirty (tell her how you like her pictures, or that you really enjoy talking to her).
I'd generally say to save serious professions of love and the like until after you've done some actual dating (face-to-face). It'll quickly become evident whether there's serious mutual attraction.

Edited March 19, 2009 by Socrates

[Bubblicious]

[quote name='Socrates' post='1811057' date='Mar 18 2009, 10:05 PM']You should talk on the phone at least once before arranging a face-to-face meeting. (Almost every girl I've asked has given me her digits.)
While online chatting or on the phone, you can say complimentary things, but keep it fun and flirty (tell her how you like her pictures, or that you really enjoy talking to her).
I'd generally say to save serious professions of love and the like until after you've done some actual dating (face-to-face). It'll quickly become evident whether there's serious mutual attraction.[/quote]


I'll second that.

[reelguy227]

Here's an update on my situation:

We got to talking about a long distance relationship and she told me that she doesn't want a relationship right now, but that there's still a chance and that she's not ruling me out. Just that she needs time to think things through. What exactly does that mean? She also told me that she felt we got along pretty well, which is something I agreed with. And she also called me after we had this conversation on facebook, which is something I was surprised by.

So, what should I do?? I don't know if it's even worth it to continue pursuing her. And I'll be honest, even going off of facebook and Catholicmatch, I've never felt this type of attraction to a girl. She seems like a perfect fit for me, and believe me, that doesn't come along much--if ever. It's weird, even though she doesn't really want a relationship, I feel like my heart has an affection for her and no one else. I don't know how to treat these feelings.

Could they be a sign from God to keep my interest in her going and wait for the right time? Or could they just be feelings? There's just something about this girl that's telling me to not let her slip through my fingers, she just seems like too good of a match. I don't know. Help please.....I have no idea how to approach this situation.

Thanks again guys

Edited March 26, 2009 by reelguy227

[TotusTuusMaria]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1816554' date='Mar 25 2009, 08:56 PM']Here's an update on my situation:

We got to talking about a long distance relationship and she told me that she doesn't want a relationship right now, but that there's still a chance and that she's not ruling me out. Just that she needs time to think things through. What exactly does that mean? She also told me that she felt we got along pretty well, which is something I agreed with. And she also called me after we had this conversation on facebook, which is something I was surprised by.[/quote]

Marriage is a vocation and as one discerns it, just as with religious life, there should be a lot of prayer and thought. She probably just needs to pray and think about if this really is God's will... it will take time. Don't rush things.

[quote]So, what should I do??

Could they be a sign from God to keep my interest in her going and wait for the right time? Or could they just be feelings? There's just something about this girl that's telling me to not let her slip through my fingers, she just seems like too good of a match. I don't know. Help please.....I have no idea how to approach this situation.

Thanks again guys[/quote]

Go to prayer. Really. Go to prayer and ask God what he wants you to do about this.

[Lisieux Flower]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1816554' date='Mar 25 2009, 08:56 PM']Here's an update on my situation:

We got to talking about a long distance relationship and she told me that she doesn't want a relationship right now, but that there's still a chance and that she's not ruling me out. Just that she needs time to think things through. What exactly does that mean?[/quote]

Honestly, that's interesting that she would say that she doesn't want to be in a relationship if you both met on catholicmatch.com....

Maybe she's just trying to be nice.

Edited March 26, 2009 by Lisieux Flower

[reelguy227]

Well I asked her if she was serious about Catholicmatch and she told me she didn't know, primarily because she's happy right now the way she is. What do I make of that?

[reelguy227]

bump

[rose wrought of iron]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1816786' date='Mar 26 2009, 01:05 AM']Well I asked her if she was serious about Catholicmatch and she told me she didn't know, primarily because she's happy right now the way she is. What do I make of that?[/quote]
Well, if you want to be serious, you can be patient until she is, can't you? And just remember that it's important for someone to ba able to be contented as they are. Is someone isn't capable of loving themselves no matter the situation, they probably wouldn't be able to love someone else like they should, right?

[Luthien]

[quote name='rose wrought of iron' post='1817514' date='Mar 27 2009, 01:19 AM']Well, if you want to be serious, you can be patient until she is, can't you? And just remember that it's important for someone to ba able to be contented as they are. Is someone isn't capable of loving themselves no matter the situation, they probably wouldn't be able to love someone else like they should, right?[/quote]


I made my husband wait.

[reelguy227]

[quote name='Luthien' post='1817576' date='Mar 27 2009, 12:10 AM']I made my husband wait. [/quote]

Wait for what? Till he could date you?

[reelguy227]

[quote name='rose wrought of iron' post='1817514' date='Mar 26 2009, 11:19 PM']Well, if you want to be serious, you can be patient until she is, can't you? And just remember that it's important for someone to ba able to be contented as they are. Is someone isn't capable of loving themselves no matter the situation, they probably wouldn't be able to love someone else like they should, right?[/quote]

Ya, but what do I do in the meantime? Pursue her or not? I feel that if I continue to pursue her I'll drive her away, but that if I don't do something she'll totally forget that I'm interested. That's what I'm confused about.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1817683' date='Mar 27 2009, 07:42 AM']Ya, but what do I do in the meantime? Pursue her or not? I feel that if I continue to pursue her I'll drive her away, but that if I don't do something she'll totally forget that I'm interested. That's what I'm confused about.[/quote]
How about asking her if you can continue to pursue a friendship and get to know her, and that you'll wait until she's ready to make it more of a dating relationship?