So I've Met This Girl...

[Luthien]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1818449' date='Mar 28 2009, 02:56 AM']Really? I never thought of a date other than as a date to be in a relationship, but if you say so. You guys seem to know more than I do.[/quote]

People date to figure out if they want a relationship really, but like I said, if you are starting slow as friends I still think it would be important to meet face to face. Is there a cool place to meet halfishway? That way no one is putting more effort into meeting. Just a thought.

[reelguy227]

I guess I could ask her to meet me somewhere, I just don't want to sound creepy asking after having only known each other for about a month.

How would you suggest I go about asking if we could meet?

[Socrates]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1818387' date='Mar 27 2009, 11:20 PM']I didn't ask her to be in a relationship off the bat, we got to talking about it in a conversation. It wasn't just me.

Secondly, why would she want to go on a date with me if she doesn't really want to be in a relationship right now? I'm not following that.[/quote]
Going on dates is a way to get to know someone better, and find out if you want to "be in a relationship." In my experience on Ave Maria and CatholicMatch, I've gone on dates with plenty of women, most of which didn't go further than a first date. Simply going out on a date doesn't imply life-long commitment or anything else. Really, a first date is no big deal; you're making it to be some huge thing when it's not.

See, back in olden days, before the invention of this newfangled thing called the "internet," [i]everybody[/i] had to meet face-to-face before deciding whether to be in a dating relationship. (Just ask your mom and dad about this.) A first date was simply a way to get to know someone, and decide whether to continue dating further.
How in the heck are you going to really know if you should be in a relationship with a girl if you've never even seen each other in real life??

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1818556' date='Mar 28 2009, 02:16 AM']I guess I could ask her to meet me somewhere, I just don't want to sound creepy asking after having only known each other for about a month.

How would you suggest I go about asking if we could meet?[/quote]
Just casually say something like, "You seem like a really awesome girl; we should get together sometime," or something similar (I'm not one for clever pick-up lines myself). No need to make a huge presentation out of it. If she likes you, she'll probably say, "Sure!"
It's up to the guy to take the initiative, though, and you should meet her at her town if possible, rather than making her come down to visit you. If indeed neither of you can afford to drive three hours, find some halfway point to meet.

There's absolutely nothing creepy about asking a girl out after talking together for a month. Bubbles and I arranged a meeting after less than three weeks of chatting, and this involved buying a plane ticket and taking off from work, not just a 3-hour drive.
What might actually be creepy is spending months talking to a girl online and pursuing a "relationship" hiding behind a computer screen, while making no move to actually see her face-to-face.

And you need to get some confidence in your body, and start making decisions for yourself, rather than asking everybody for advice before making the smallest move. No woman wants an insecure and indecisive man.

[rachael]

[quote name='Socrates' post='1819750' date='Mar 29 2009, 04:31 PM']Going on dates is a way to get to know someone better, and find out if you want to "be in a relationship." In my experience on Ave Maria and CatholicMatch, I've gone on dates with plenty of women, most of which didn't go further than a first date. Simply going out on a date doesn't imply life-long commitment or anything else. Really, a first date is no big deal; you're making it to be some huge thing when it's not.

See, back in olden days, before the invention of this newfangled thing called the "internet," [i]everybody[/i] had to meet face-to-face before deciding whether to be in a dating relationship. (Just ask your mom and dad about this.) A first date was simply a way to get to know someone, and decide whether to continue dating further.
How in the heck are you going to really know if you should be in a relationship with a girl if you've never even seen each other in real life??


Just casually say something like, "You seem like a really awesome girl; we should get together sometime," or something similar (I'm not one for clever pick-up lines myself). No need to make a huge presentation out of it. If she likes you, she'll probably say, "Sure!"
It's up to the guy to take the initiative, though, and you should meet her at her town if possible, rather than making her come down to visit you. If indeed neither of you can afford to drive three hours, find some halfway point to meet.

There's absolutely nothing creepy about asking a girl out after talking together for a month. Bubbles and I arranged a meeting after less than three weeks of chatting, and this involved buying a plane ticket and taking off from work, not just a 3-hour drive.
What might actually be creepy is spending months talking to a girl online and pursuing a "relationship" hiding behind a computer screen, while making no move to actually see her face-to-face.

And you need to get some confidence in your body, and start making decisions for yourself, rather than asking everybody for advice before making the smallest move. No woman wants an insecure and indecisive man.[/quote]

[Carnanc]

I'm really shy, I've never been in a real relationship before, and that makes me sad, but I DO have a lot of experience with meeting people from online.

Her saying she's not interested in a relationship right now, could mean anything. My guess is she may be lying to you, and may even have a boyfriend she is not telling you about(speaking from experience).

Its not weird at all to only speak to someone online a couple times, and then set up a date. I've done this several times.

Do not stop talking to her! ask her out on a date, plan something! anything! you are intersted, you need to make a move, don't wait! unlesss you really aren't that interested. When you meet face to face, if she likes you, it will be very obvious, and I think you will know where to go from there, but you need to meet in person ASAP. it will be fun!

[Theoketos]

1 Go kill a dragon.

2 Mount its head on the front of your truck to secure her affections.

3 Use the hoard previously owned by the dragon to pay the dowry.

[rose wrought of iron]

[quote name='Theoketos' post='1819991' date='Mar 29 2009, 09:59 PM']1 Go kill a dragon.

2 Mount its head on the front of your truck to secure her affections.

3 Use the hoard previously owned by the dragon to pay the dowry.[/quote]



Surefire way to gain the affection of any damsel!

[Sojourner]

[quote name='Socrates' post='1819750' date='Mar 29 2009, 04:31 PM']Going on dates is a way to get to know someone better, and find out if you want to "be in a relationship." In my experience on Ave Maria and CatholicMatch, I've gone on dates with plenty of women, most of which didn't go further than a first date. Simply going out on a date doesn't imply life-long commitment or anything else. Really, a first date is no big deal; you're making it to be some huge thing when it's not.

See, back in olden days, before the invention of this newfangled thing called the "internet," [i]everybody[/i] had to meet face-to-face before deciding whether to be in a dating relationship. (Just ask your mom and dad about this.) A first date was simply a way to get to know someone, and decide whether to continue dating further.
How in the heck are you going to really know if you should be in a relationship with a girl if you've never even seen each other in real life??


Just casually say something like, "You seem like a really awesome girl; we should get together sometime," or something similar (I'm not one for clever pick-up lines myself). No need to make a huge presentation out of it. If she likes you, she'll probably say, "Sure!"
It's up to the guy to take the initiative, though, and you should meet her at her town if possible, rather than making her come down to visit you. If indeed neither of you can afford to drive three hours, find some halfway point to meet.

There's absolutely nothing creepy about asking a girl out after talking together for a month. Bubbles and I arranged a meeting after less than three weeks of chatting, and this involved buying a plane ticket and taking off from work, not just a 3-hour drive.
What might actually be creepy is spending months talking to a girl online and pursuing a "relationship" hiding behind a computer screen, while making no move to actually see her face-to-face.

And you need to get some confidence in your body, and start making decisions for yourself, rather than asking everybody for advice before making the smallest move. No woman wants an insecure and indecisive man.[/quote]
Yes to everything you've said! My husband and I also met face to face after less than a month of exchanging e-mails and talking on the phone. If things drag on too long before you meet face to face, you are more likely to allow yourself to fall for something less than the real person. You just don't know who a person really is until you meet face to face and develop a real live relationship. Even talking on the phone doesn't cut it.

And a big fat AMEN to women not liking an insecure and indecisive man. I am pretty sure it goes the other way too. Know who you are and what you want. Better to be forthright and honest about your thoughts and feelings than to play guessing games with yourself or a woman.