Me And God

[lost_in_this_world]

are fighting. it's official.

[MissyP89]

Prayers...I've had my share of screaming matches with my ceiling. Thankfully, He's big enough to handle it.

[Galloglasses' Alt]

Calm down, considering I am much in the same boat as you, (yes, I've read some of your threads, I just don't post that often, I'm sorry), hell, ain't it?

One of the most important things is first of all, Do not give up praying. Even if its just a simple Recitation of the Our Father, even if you don't feel you're putting anything into it. Keep it up. Keep patient. And for one thing, relax. There is such a thing as over thinking. Try sitting down in a chair, (TV off), for about an hour and let God work some of the knots out for you.

[CatherineM]

I have fought with him before. He always wins. It's kind of like trying to climb in the ring with Ali in his prime.

[lost_in_this_world]

i'm over praying at this point.

[cmotherofpirl]

[quote name='lost_in_this_world' post='1807206' date='Mar 14 2009, 10:07 PM']i'm over praying at this point.[/quote]
God bless you. Have you read the book of Job, or the psalms lately?

[MissyP89]

Or Lamentations...that book was good for me when I was angry with God.

[Luigi]

[quote name='lost_in_this_world' post='1807206' date='Mar 14 2009, 09:07 PM']i'm over praying at this point.[/quote]

Ambiguous - have you decided not to pray any more, or do you mean you're praying too hard?

[Luigi]

I had a really...what? scary? surprising? but definitely memorable experience when I was praying the Sorrowful mysteries once, and I was ANGRY-FURIOUS-IRATE-OVER THE TOP-HAD-BLOWN-UP-AT-GOD... know what I mean?

Anyway, I was vehemently praying (mostly to keep from cussing) and it was either a Tuesday or Friday because it was the Sorrowful Mysteries, specifically the Scourging at the Pillar... and you know how you get pictures in your head as you're praying... images from holy cards, or maybe from cheesy TV movies, or imagining what it must've been like, or whatever... and all of sudden, in my head-image, I wasn't just seeing Jesus bound at the pillar and suffering from the lashes, I WAS THE GUY WITH THE WHIP, DOING THE SCOURGING! And I was lashing Jesus - really putting my whole self into it, giving it all I had, for everything that was wrong in my life at the time. That's how angry I was.

And it brought me up short, and sort of interrupted my prayer while I waited to be struck by lightning (because that's against eveything I was ever taught, and I was like, "This must be what they mean by blasphemy, and isn't that the one unforgivable sin?" and a whole lot of other stuff), but I did try to keep pressing on with the prayers, and the next image (that I remember) was Jesus turning around over his shoulder with this, "Come on, kid, hit me with your best shot" kind of look on his face.

I'll never forget it. I had always identified with Jesus before, or whoever else the "good guy" in the mystery is. It was definitely cathartic... not that I calmed down immediately, because it takes a while when you've worked yourself up into a really good lather.... but I never was struck by lightning, and I came to realize that what I was going through wasn't all that much compared to the physical injury inflicted on Jesus (if the real guy with the whip was anything like me), and that Jesus WANTS us to put that anger on him rather than walk around with it all bottled up inside. So for the next couple of weeks when I'd pray the Sorrowful Mysteries, I'd visualize - during the Crucifixion mystery - the charges over his head - Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews, and Luigi, One Mad Son of a Gun.

It's okay to feel whatever you feel. You're not the first one to feel it, and you won't be the last. God is big enough to take your licking and keep on ticking. And he won't hold it against you either. Although, if you DO get struck by lightning, post a really detailed description, will you?

[Saint Therese]

I've been there as well. But I've learned that God ALWAYS answers our prayers, maybe just not in the way we want.