Ash Wednesday Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I honestly dont know what to say at this point. I am at the lowest point I've ever been in my life since my mom died. Maybe even lower. My depression is threatening to render me to the point of being almost non functional -- or perhaps I just had a really bad day. Anybody that ever goes through the immigration process should know that it's basically like Chinese water torture. It has worn me down to the point where I am a shell or a shadow of the bright and successful person that I used to be. I want to go home, but I don't have a home back in America to go home to. I can't even do that, because the home office has my passport. It's reaching the 6 month point where they are supposed to give me back my paperwork, and they're not going to get it on time. I haven't gotten any freelance work in since December, and I can't get a UK bank account until I get my passport back. I am trying to figure out how I am going to pay all my taxes, it's hard to find a job and do contract work without your documents and at this point I have been crying my eyes out all day and I can't even think straight. It has been a long time since I honestly felt like I wished I was dead. But for the sake of my faith and my husband and people around me I wouldn't do anything stupid, but I can honestly understand why some people reach a breaking point. Please pray for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose wrought of iron Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I'm praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 +J.M.J.+ ash, you absolutely have my prayers. i will try to offer up my pregnancy sufferings for you for the rest of today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I've been at quite a few breaking points. Stay in there...I know it's hard to hear sometimes, but God loves you and He has a plan. We love you, too. The PM I sent you a few weeks ago...ignore it. You don't need any more stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 You'll be in my prayers, Ash. And, like Red, my pregnancy sufferings will be offered up for you as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noel's angel Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Prayers! I know that the process can be long and difficult. My friend's husband had to wait 2 years to get all his paperwork done. The way he finally got them to respond was by telling them he would take the matter to court. The day after he made that phonecall they rang him back and told him the forms would be ready the next day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I definitely understand what you are going through. My husband found out how bad my vocabulary can be the day we found out Canadian Immigration lost my FBI back ground report, and I had to do the fingerprints and everything all over again, not to mention the expense. All you can do is break things up into small bits. Try to get some sun everyday and some type of exercise. That can help with the depression. We had to have our MP call to put pressure on them to get my file finished. Is there any person or organization that can help you? You certainly have our prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 Thanks guys. I talked to my accountant and something can probably be worked out until I can get a job -- everything is just a real mess for right now. Things would have been ok if the economy hadn't fallen off the cliff and I stopped getting work. My freelance is all I've had to rely on up until this point -- I can't even have the luxury of looking for a simple job at McDonalds over here. I'm just so angry right now about everything. It's the first time in my life I've ever actually had real regrets. If things eventually pull back together I probably won't have regrets when it's all said and done. But it's sure easy to feel that way right now. I don't like talking to people unless I have anything positive to say....and here I haven't talked to my dad in months because of that very reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 There is a commission with the EU I can contact if they do not have that paperwork done in time. By law they are required to finish everything in six months. It will be 6 months in a couple of weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eagle_eye222001 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 ---------------- Listening to: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/oasis/track/wonderwall"]Oasis - Wonderwall[/url] via [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/"]FoxyTunes[/url]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XIX Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 [quote name='Ash Wednesday' post='1810894' date='Mar 18 2009, 07:07 PM']Thanks guys. I talked to my accountant and something can probably be worked out until I can get a job -- everything is just a real mess for right now. Things would have been ok if the economy hadn't fallen off the cliff and I stopped getting work. My freelance is all I've had to rely on up until this point -- I can't even have the luxury of looking for a simple job at McDonalds over here. I'm just so angry right now about everything. It's the first time in my life I've ever actually had real regrets. If things eventually pull back together I probably won't have regrets when it's all said and done. But it's sure easy to feel that way right now. I don't like talking to people unless I have anything positive to say....and here I haven't talked to my dad in months because of that very reason.[/quote] I hear you. Trying to keep yourself together in this economy is kind of like MAF trying to hold down the fort during the 2005-06 season, behind the worst defensive squad in the league. Just overwhelmed. I lost my job a couple of weeks ago. It's just rough out there. Considering what secular society has become, it's not surprising that our economic infrastructure is imploding. Moral infrastructure really needs to be the foundation of everything. And obviously, people have become soff in terms of morals. God doesn't make us put up with anything that we can't handle. Sometimes He trusts us more than we'd like. But He's also smarter than all of us. It's way easier to say that than it is to listen to that...I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paladin D Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I will pray for you, Ash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 [quote name='Ash Wednesday' post='1810894' date='Mar 18 2009, 08:07 PM']Thanks guys. I talked to my accountant and something can probably be worked out until I can get a job -- everything is just a real mess for right now. Things would have been ok if the economy hadn't fallen off the cliff and I stopped getting work. My freelance is all I've had to rely on up until this point -- I can't even have the luxury of looking for a simple job at McDonalds over here. I'm just so angry right now about everything. It's the first time in my life I've ever actually had real regrets. If things eventually pull back together I probably won't have regrets when it's all said and done. But it's sure easy to feel that way right now. I don't like talking to people unless I have anything positive to say....and here I haven't talked to my dad in months because of that very reason.[/quote] Dearie if you can - call your dad. Don't worry about being positive, just be honest. Sometimes I don't care what kind of news my kids give me, as long as I can just hear their voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 [quote name='Ash Wednesday' post='1810843' date='Mar 18 2009, 05:07 PM']It has worn me down to the point where I am a shell or a shadow of the bright and successful person that I used to be.[/quote] She's still there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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