Veils?

[Legend Chaser]

So, I've got a problem!

I bought a really awesome chapel veil about two years ago. I'd never heard about the practice up until that time and was really excited because I thought it was a cool idea and couldn't imagine why it had fallen out of disuse. For the first few months I wore it diligently, but there's a pretty big problem--no one else wears these in my Parish, or in any Parish in my diocese I've been to! (though there's a few I haven't visited still) And when I say no one I really do mean literally no one. I have only seen one other veil, worn by my friend who saw mine and loved it and wanted one too.

While I think this practice is a good one, have had my veil blessed and think it is good for female humility and modesty, it is causing a problem. Being the only one wearing one, I stick out like a sore thumb. If people made fun of me I suppose that would be one thing, but I go to a Catholic school and it's making everyone think either 1) I have a holier-than-thou opinion of myself or 2) I really am some sort of super-holy person, which I really am not! I get a ton of questions about it, everything from the simple "Why are you wearing that?" to the shocking, "Are you becoming a nun?" (when, at least for the moment, I am not hearing any call of any kind...not to mention it has nothing to do with that)

So my question is, should I continue to wear it? I want to wear it as a devotional practice, but at the same time I do not want to pray loudly on street corners and give alms where everyone can see. Advice? Ideas?

[Brother Adam]

I'd say keep wearing it, how cool that you are getting all those questions from others. God is making it super easy for your to witness! Have a simple, standard answer to give people who ask you why you wear it that makes sense and might spur them to wear one or at least take Mass more seriously. If people judge you for wearing a veil the sin is not yours, but theirs.

[Lil Red]

+J.M.J.+
i wear one. i'm usually the only person at a parish wearing one (i don't have a 'home' parish). if there is another woman wearing one, she's 60+ years old.

i agree with Bro. Adam: have a standard answer that you give, and that if people want more conversation, invites them to it.

[eagle_eye222001]

Obviously you are not wearing it to appear "holier-than-thou" so keep wearing it. It doesn't matter if others think you are going for the "holier-than-thou" attitude, what matters is what attitude you are going for.

I mean, would you wear very casual clothes to Mass so some other people would not think differently of you or do you wear nice clothes to show Jesus you care? When it comes to this, you need to decide whose opinion do you care more for - Christs, or the lax crowd.


One of my sisters wears one and my mom does too. Yes they stick out as well and they have gone through the same questions and difficulties you are going through now.



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[Apotheoun]

Wear your veil and don't worry what other people think or say.

[doe-jo]

Awesome. You should keep wearing it. I bought my friend a veil a couple of years ago. She used to wear it but not anymore for the same reason, she sticks out... except to a Latin mass (she doesn't stick out there). My parish isn't very fond of traditional things like the veil so we have been ridiculed especially her when she wore her veil. I keep encouraging her to wear it but no success yet. Hopefully, she'll wear it again.

Just do it for the right reasons (and I'm sure you're doing it for the right reasons) and don't be afraid to wear the veil.

"But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered, disgraceth her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven. For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head." 1 Corinthians 11:5-6 (DRB)

[Madame Vengier]

If you want to revive a Catholic custom that has fallen into disuse, that is good. But the goal of the custom is to cover the head. It does not have to be a white chapel veil. Women all over the world cover their heads in different ways during religious services. I personally can't stand the white chapel veil and I do not, and would not ever, use it. I think covering the head during Mass is a good custom to revive (though I wouldn't be willing to argue too strongly in favor of it) but I think American Catholic women need to be more creative about how to do it.

[puellapaschalis]

Keep wearing it (or at least, as MV suggested, keep covering your head).

When I started wearing mine in church there was one other lady who wore a big piece of black fabric which she twists and folds in an amazing way around her head. On Maunday Thursday she was there, three of us were in white mantillas, and two other ladies had some kind of headscarf on. That I noticed.

Don't worry about what others think. You're veiling for Christ, not as a fashion statement.

[Brother Adam]

As puellapaschalis says, it is not a fashion statement, so I'm not sure why you would need to wear anything other than a simple chapel veil, be it white or black. If women start wearing just any hats or such, that is exactly what it becomes and misses the whole point of humility before God.

Wearing a veil is going to royally t-off the femi-rage crowd who believe women are not only suppose to be equal to men, but the same as men as well. Just be prepared for that backlash when it comes, and know that any anger is veiled conviction - by not even having to say anything to them, you are attacking their entire false ideology.

Edited April 12, 2009 by Brother Adam

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Lil Red' post='1832745' date='Apr 12 2009, 03:43 PM']+J.M.J.+
i wear one. i'm usually the only person at a parish wearing one (i don't have a 'home' parish). if there is another woman wearing one, she's 60+ years old.

i agree with Bro. Adam: have a standard answer that you give, and that if people want more conversation, invites them to it.[/quote]
Yep. I wear a headscarf (not a chapel veil) and am often the only woman with her head covered. There is one other person at the parish I frequent for daily Mass who covers her head, though, but she's over 60. And I also agree with Bro Adam's advice.

[quote name='Madame Vengier' post='1832757' date='Apr 12 2009, 04:04 PM']If you want to revive a Catholic custom that has fallen into disuse, that is good. But the goal of the custom is to cover the head. It does not have to be a white chapel veil. Women all over the world cover their heads in different ways during religious services. I personally can't stand the white chapel veil and I do not, and would not ever, use it. I think covering the head during Mass is a good custom to revive (though I wouldn't be willing to argue too strongly in favor of it) but I think American Catholic women need to be more creative about how to do it.[/quote]
Have you seen the site [url="http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/tying.pl"]Tznius[/url]? That's where I get my scarf-tying instructions. Though I can't do all of those because I have a long rectangular, not square, scarf. Anyway, I think covering the head at Mass is wonderful, whether with a mantilla or scarf or something else.

[Brother Adam]

Okay, I didn't think of scarfs and such, I retract my previous statement. When MV said that I imagined her going to mass with a this on her head:

[img]http://www.halloweencostumes4u.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000003/49026.jpg[/img]

[Deeds]

[quote name='Madame Vengier' post='1832757' date='Apr 12 2009, 05:04 PM']If you want to revive a Catholic custom that has fallen into disuse, that is good. But the goal of the custom is to cover the head. It does not have to be a white chapel veil. Women all over the world cover their heads in different ways during religious services. I personally can't stand the white chapel veil and I do not, and would not ever, use it. I think covering the head during Mass is a good custom to revive (though I wouldn't be willing to argue too strongly in favor of it) but I think American Catholic women need to be more creative about how to do it.[/quote]
That's what I was going to say. In fact, the tradition in America was always to wear a hat, until hats stopped becoming a part of women's daily attire. Mantillas were a South American custom that really took off in America when Jacqueline Kennedy was photographed wearing one to Mass. Apparently, some priests at the time condemned the new fashion for pretty lace as vanity, although the way some traditionalists have latched onto it you'd think it was a custom since time immemorial.

I think it's really commendable that you've stuck with the practice for headcovering for so long, especially since you're on your own! You're far braver than me. If you want to be less conspicuous, remember that you don't need to cover all your hair too. A hat is a safe bet, especially in the winter. I have a couple of crocheted berets that are easy to wear and don't look odd even if it's not that cold. In the summer, you could wear a scarf bandanna-style.

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='Deeds' post='1832773' date='Apr 12 2009, 12:38 PM']That's what I was going to say. In fact, the tradition in America was always to wear a hat, until hats stopped becoming a part of women's daily attire. Mantillas were a South American custom that really took off in America when Jacqueline Kennedy was photographed wearing one to Mass. Apparently, some priests at the time condemned the new fashion for pretty lace as vanity, although the way some traditionalists have latched onto it you'd think it was a custom since time immemorial.

I think it's really commendable that you've stuck with the practice for headcovering for so long, especially since you're on your own! You're far braver than me. If you want to be less conspicuous, remember that you don't need to cover all your hair too. A hat is a safe bet, especially in the winter. I have a couple of crocheted berets that are easy to wear and don't look odd even if it's not that cold. In the summer, you could wear a scarf bandanna-style.[/quote]


A hat is not really appropriate. They are distracting and as you mentioned, they are simply no longer part of women's formal wear in America. And anyway, the covering of the head isn't supposed to be about fashion. It's not about modesty, either, becuase there is nothing immodest about a woman with her head uncovered. This custom comes from Jewish times and its sole purpose is humility and to show honor in God's tabernacle.

A lighweight scarf works very well and can be any muted, non-attention-grabbing color or design. I wear this also in the summer time to keep the sun off my hair. Muslim women, Jewish women, and well as Catholic women in other cultures (such as the Chaldeans) wear this head covering and it's very beautiful, too. If you wonder how to wear it, you can actually wear it tied to your head with hair folded up inside it (and nope, hair doesn't have to be totally covered) or else wear it loosely around the head and neck, resting over the shoulders...just like you see in pictures of Muslim women in say, Pakistan. This is the way Jewish and Chaldean women also wear it. Another way is to wear it wrapped around your head very similar to the style of African women's headdress (though not as big and standing up so high). In this case it really depends on how much hair you have.

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='Deeds' post='1832773' date='Apr 12 2009, 12:38 PM']I have a couple of crocheted berets that are easy to wear and don't look odd even if it's not that cold. In the summer, you could wear a scarf bandanna-style.[/quote]

Yep, these are good ideas as well.

[Madame Vengier]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1832765' date='Apr 12 2009, 12:28 PM']Have you seen the site [url="http://www.tznius.com/cgi-bin/tying.pl"]Tznius[/url]? That's where I get my scarf-tying instructions. Though I can't do all of those because I have a long rectangular, not square, scarf. Anyway, I think covering the head at Mass is wonderful, whether with a mantilla or scarf or something else.[/quote]


Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those are all the styles I was talking about. I love them! I didn't know there was a site, though. This is awesome and now I have MORE ideas!

As for women here who might feel awkward to do this, just remember Catholic women all over the world (except in America, where we got stuck with the God-awful chapel veil) wore this to Mass! Also, as I mentioned, women of other religions as well. I sincerely don't believe more people in your parish would be criticial. Just tell them how much you love Catholic customs and you have made the decision to start reviving some of them. When people know you do something because you love it and not because you are trying to be in their face, they will respect it.

Let's revive the custom, everybody!

And here's a photo of Chaldean Catholic women, for those who might not be comfortable with a total head wrap:

[url="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_jCLJb9lPZaQ/STiDyDwZbeI/AAAAAAAABnY/YM-MBmCOMlM/s400/Jordan_Christians.jpg"]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_jCLJb9lPZaQ/STiD..._Christians.jpg[/url]

Edited April 12, 2009 by Madame Vengier