cmotherofpirl Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 ----------Reasons why people think we're "crazy"--------- - We like to keep Mass interesting. We sit, stand and kneel, in no particular order. Probably just to keep the blood flowing. - It's not merlot and Ritz they're serving; it's the Flesh and Blood of Jesus. No, really. - Forget a big meal afterwards, just pick up some of the breakfast tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you, they're always selling after Mass - Purgatory. - We all have 20 cousins. On each side of the family. - Infant Baptism isn't dumb; it's after-life insurance. - $5.00 in the collection basket is the epitome of generosity. Anything more than that, someone has hit the lottery. - A missal is a book, not a weapon. However, it has been known to pull double duty. - The signs we make aren't just a mark of respect, they're a lot of fun to do. - We really like statues. A lot. - After every confession, everyone hits themselves on the head. This is because they have realized that they forgot that really big sin, and they know that it'll hang over their head til the next time. - Contraceptives? Why? - Altar boys continue well into their twenties. - The 14 Stations has nothing to do with TV. - We've always been taught that celibacy til marriage is the only way to go, forever and ever, amen. That being said... - The Mass doesn't start for a few minutes not because of tardy parishioners. It's because the priest is running late. - The Virgin Mary is not a God and we don't treat her as such. But she is without sin, gave birth to Jesus and did it without having sex. That warrants more than a little respect. - 11:00 a.m. Mass means 11:15. - We actually get all the jokes in Dogma. - There are two very different, irreconcilable factions in every single church in the world. They are known as the Saturday or Sunday Mass bunch. - St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. SNAKES. - You miss JPII more than you miss some relatives... - Bake Sales are a way of life. - Your knees are more calloused than your feet. - Priests have been giving us alcohol since we were little kids. No wonder any one of us can drink Protestants under the table. - The Catholic way of dealing with a mid-life crisis is having another kid. - Mass is nearly unchanged after almost 2000 years. We're a little stubborn. - Whatever you gave up for Lent, you have it in your hands at 11:59 p.m. Saturday night, counting the seconds til midnight. - Episcopalians are referred to as "Diet Catholics" - You either love or hate the Stations of the Cross. There is no middle ground. - We all know Da Vinci code is bogus and inaccurate. Yet we'll still read it if nothing else is going on. - "Offer it up!" = "Quit bitching!" - We have Midnight Mass so there are no interruptions on Christmas morning - You've slipped out an Amen after the Pledge of Allegiance. - Holy Water can kill just about anything. So Protestants are pretty much screwed if a vampire comes calling. - There's no need for impromptu prayer; you can always fall back on the Rosary. - Alleluia becomes almost a swear during Lent - It's not uncommon for just one family to take up an entire pew or two. - Boondock Saints is the greatest movie ever. E-Ver. - Confession. Enough said. - You're of the opinion that Stephen Colbert should be Canonized. - When in doubt, say a Hail Mary. - Peter Griffin, a Catholic! - Whenever anyone in Star Wars saga says "May the Force Be With You", we get the urge to say "And Also With You" (coming soon: "And With Your Spirit) - The Pope does indeed wear a funny hat. But it's way more interesting than Joel Osteen's suit and tie. - Even though you never met her or been to a country she's been in, you're still willing to have "seen" a miracle by Mother Teresa. - We're the oldest Christian religion. Period. If you appreciated, chuckled or even smiled at some of these, you're not a wacko. You're just probably a member of the one of the oldest and largest religions in the world. Open to all Catholics around the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Breakfast tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,? Eww...we sell frittis. The Italian Heritage Festival does fundraisers like...every few weeks. It is a supreme sacrifice to eat the frittis and support the festival. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1841352' date='Apr 20 2009, 12:00 PM']- Whenever anyone in Star Wars saga says "May the Force Be With You", we get the urge to say "And Also With You" (coming soon: "And With Your Spirit)[/quote] Sooooo true!! ROFL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 That's a great way to start the morning, a smile on my face, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1841352' date='Apr 20 2009, 12:00 PM']- Peter Griffin, a Catholic![/quote] Ugh! Family Guy! This is the only thing I didn't find funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 [quote name='StColette' post='1841369' date='Apr 20 2009, 11:47 AM']Ugh! Family Guy! This is the only thing I didn't find funny.[/quote] He is kind of a typical New England Catholic. Probably goes to church with some of the Kennedy's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcts Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 [quote name='BG45' post='1841357' date='Apr 20 2009, 11:12 AM']Breakfast tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,? Eww...we sell frittis. The Italian Heritage Festival does fundraisers like...every few weeks. It is a supreme sacrifice to eat the frittis and support the festival. [/quote] yeah, i wish we sold breakfast tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,. sometimes we have regular tamales, though, so that's cool. and the one about the priest being late is VERY true for my parish right now. for 11:00 mass last tuesday, my priest walked over from the rectory at 11:10, and all of his joints are pretty bad so it takes him about 20 minutes to vest. it wasn't good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 [quote name='CatherineM' post='1841365' date='Apr 20 2009, 01:45 PM']That's a great way to start the morning, a smile on my face, thanks.[/quote] I can see this as a wall poster or Tshirt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theologian in Training Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 [quote]- The Mass doesn't start for a few minutes not because of tardy parishioners. It's because the priest is running late.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffpugh Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 [quote name='Theologian in Training' post='1841581' date='Apr 20 2009, 05:21 PM'] [/quote] Even Father admits, "guilty as charged". And what's with the breakfast taco[i][/i]s thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icelandic_iceskater Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 no breakfast tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you, at my parish. I suddenly feel deprived. We do, however, have biscuit and gravy breakfasts! And donuts, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rizz_loves_jesus Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 wth? Am I the only person who goes to a church where they don't sell food afterward? [quote]- The Catholic way of dealing with a mid-life crisis is having another kid.[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilde Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Sometimes i get cookies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose wrought of iron Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Breakfast tacos, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,, so very tasty and good for you,.... They also sell fajita type thingys that are soooo good and I can't for the life of me remember what they're called. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Vega Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' post='1841352' date='Apr 20 2009, 12:00 PM']- The Pope does indeed wear a funny hat. But it's way more interesting than Joel Osteen's suit and tie. - We're the oldest Christian religion. Period.[/quote] [quote]- Peter Griffin, a Catholic![/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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