picchick Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I do not know why this is a big surprise to everyone. She wants attention. She is a long distance relationship which obviously she cannot handle. So...she is seeking attention in other places. Sure, her fiance gives her attention but he is not there to get her [b]full [/b]attention. So then she enjoys basking in all the attention that guys give her face to face. Of course she is not going to be firm. The whole "meaness" thing could be the truth or...dun dun dun...it could be a FACADE!!!! Guys like a chase. They like to pursue things they cannot have. The minute they are told they can't have it they will do everything possible to try to get it. It is a game. So until she says firmly no then it is just not going to happen. She doesn't want to say no because she is enjoying this attention and she probably likes the fuss that everyone is making over it. You. Her friends. And probably mostly: her fiance. Now, to me the person who needs to be told firmly no is her by her fiance. Not the boys. Sounds to me like they need to have a sit down talk as to where they are in the relationship. Fighting over her is stupid. There needs to be a connection/bond between the girl and her fiance so that she isn't interested in these other guys but to her one and only. Otherwise, I fear for their marriage. It doesn't sound like to me that she really is trying to shake these guys. She says that she does but she isn't taking the action. If someone firmly believes in something, action will come forth. That's the logic behind it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 She definitely wants her fiance's attention alright. She was mad at him and didn't talk to him for a time because he went three days without contacting her. Honestly, if that's the worst thing that he has done... Like I said earlier, she appears to be the one wearing the pants in the relationship and she's said before that she and her fiance tend to have quite a few fights. She said that when they do get married she can easily see them arguing and having him leave for a few days and then come back to make up. She wants them to have two homes so that this can happen. I think she may have described it as a vacation from each other now and then. One of our suitemates is being persued by a guy she knows even though she has a boyfriend and my roommate was supposed to talk to her to give her advice. Yea, great girl to get advice from right? I brought up how silly that would be considering that she has never scared off a single of these creepy guys off and my roommate said that she is better at helping people with their own problems than her own. That makes total sense right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
txdinghysailor Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Maybe she's not ready for a serious, monogamous relationship yet. In that case, I don't see what you're worried about. She'll grow up one day, and most likely end up being happy. There's no reason for you to worry about it. Besides, it's her problem, not yours, even if she doesn't see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 [quote name='txdinghysailor' post='1844342' date='Apr 23 2009, 11:09 AM']Maybe she's not ready for a serious, monogamous relationship yet. In that case, I don't see what you're worried about. She'll grow up one day, and most likely end up being happy. There's no reason for you to worry about it. Besides, it's her problem, not yours, even if she doesn't see it.[/quote] I know that it's not my problem. Its just been irritating me lately, her pretending to be the victim here and complaining about her "stalkers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 (edited) I got really frustrated with her earlier today. She added the brother of one of her friends as a friend on facebook and he is seriously creepy. He sends her facebook messages and got her number from his brother. The things that he says in these messages are really creepy. If some guy that I didn't know kept contacting me and saying the stuff that he does I would seriously be freaked out by that. He somehow managed to take pictures of her from her profile and put it on his. After that she blocked him on her facebook profile but still kept him as a friend on there. She talked with her fiance about him and he actually told her to be "civil" with him and make a deal with him. He told her to contact him and to tell him that if he resolves to leave her alone then she will be friends with him on facebook. I was surprised that he told her to do that. Seriously! How is he not alarmed by a guy saying and doing this stuff to his future bride and telling her to do this?! One of my suitemates and I told her straight up that this was honestly ridiculous, that she and her fiance were only encouraging him further. Why else would he be friends with her on facebook other than to try to get close to her to lead her away from her fiance? She wimpered that he just wanted to be friends with her. Well, my other suitemate and I have told her what we think about this hole that she has dug and burried herself in. It just irritates me when friends act stupid or show this level of immaturity. This guy's brother is now thinking that he is creepy. He lives in her home country where she'll be going back to eventually. Not to freak anyone out but we don't know this guy and we don't know what he is capable of. If this guy turns out to be freaky enough to come after her, kidnap her, and heaven knows what else she won't have anyone to blame but herself (along with her fiance. I thought that he had more sense than this earlier.) She won't be able to say that I didn't warn her. I told her that this guy could in theory doing something serious like what I mentioned above, but she isn't doing anything about it. Well I'm praying for this girl and her fiance to grow up and use their heads. Edited May 10, 2009 by tinytherese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resurrexi Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 [quote name='tinytherese' post='1842779' date='Apr 21 2009, 05:29 PM']If I am firm with rejecting a guy to a point where he thinks that I'm mean I say that that's a good thing. Then he'll leave me alone.[/quote] I thought that you were becoming a nun... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted May 10, 2009 Author Share Posted May 10, 2009 [quote name='Resurrexi' post='1863597' date='May 10 2009, 02:52 PM']I thought that you were becoming a nun...[/quote] That could happen. I don't know though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resurrexi Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 Oh ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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