Polish Priest Advocates Happy Sex Life In New Book

[cappie]

WARSAW, Poland (AP) — The Rev. Ksawery Knotz has a message for all married Catholic couples out there: there's nothing wrong with a steamy sex life.

In fact, it's a good thing.

In his new book "Sex as you don't know it: For married couples who love God," the Polish friar provides a theological and practical guide for Catholics that has little in common with the strait-laced attitudes often associated with the Roman Catholic Church.

"Some people, when they hear about the holiness of married sex, immediately imagine that such sex has to be deprived of joy, frivolous play, fantasy and attractive positions," Knotz writes. "(They think) it has to be sad like a traditional church hymn."

But Knotz, a Franciscan friar from a monastery outside Krakow in southern Poland, wants to change all that. His book aims to sweep away the taboos and assure Catholic couples that good sex is part of a good marriage.

"The most important message is that sexuality does not deviate at all from religiousness and the Catholic faith, and that we can connect spirituality and a search for God with a happy sex life," Knotz told The Associated Press by telephone.

Much of the book stems from questions that Knotz encountered while counseling married couples.

"I talk with a lot of married couples and I listen to them, so these problems just kind of sit in my mind," he said. "I would like for them to be happier with their sex life, and for them to understand the Church's teachings so there won't be unnecessary tension or a sense of guilt."

Clergymen, including Knotz's countryman Pope John Paul II and his successor Pope Benedict XVI, have written about the ethics of love, marriage and sexuality before, and laymen have penned steamy sex guides for married Catholic couples.

But few if any priests have taken Knotz's explicit approach to sex — including everything from the theological to the practical, from oral sex to contraception and the number of children a Catholic couple should have.

"Every act — a type of caress, a sexual position — with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God," Knotz writes. "During sexual intercourse, married couples can show their love in every way, can offer one another the most sought after caresses. They can employ manual and oral stimulation."

The book falls squarely within the commonly held view of the Church's teaching on sex: Knotz discourages the use of condoms or birth control pills, and says they "lead a married couple outside of Catholic culture and into a completely different lifestyle."

But some Poles have been surprised by the overriding message of the book: sex is an important way for a man and wife to express their love and grow closer to God.

"Married couples celebrate their sacrament, their life with Christ also during sex," Knotz writes.

"Calling sex a celebration of the marriage sacrament raises its dignity in an exceptional way. Such a statement shocks people who learned to look at sexuality in a bad way. It is difficult for them to understand that God is also interested in their happy sex life and in this way gives them his gift."

The book received the necessary approval from Poland's church authorities that it is theologically in line with Catholic teachings. There also has been no sign of a backlash in the heavily Catholic and conservative homeland of the late Pope John Paul II.

Still, Knotz acknowledges that a priest writing a book about sex "is in and of itself a bit of a sensation."

The book hit stores across Poland last month. The Sw. Pawel publishing house has ordered a reprint after readers quickly snapped up the first 5,000 copies.

The publisher said it is in talks about possible English, Italian and Slovakian translations of the Polish-language book.

[url="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jPb6orr8TUqqiIof81VUGbNkojSAD985A4301"]http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/articl...NkojSAD985A4301[/url]

[Paladin D]

Sweet.

[CatherineM]

We've been reading "Holy Sex," and it is written by a marriage counselor. We'll definitely get this when it gets translated into English. I guess Italian and Slovakian cover the closest Catholic countries to Poland.

[eagle_eye222001]

Good to see people like this guy and Christopher West teaching that sex isn't inherently bad or evil.

----------------
Now playing: [url="http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/pearl+jam/track/even+flow"]Pearl Jam - Even Flow[/url]
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[Socrates]

I predict this thread will soon move to the debate board.

. . . then be closed after twenty-odd pages.

[LSW]

Ridiculous

[doe-jo]

hmm maybe it's just me but... i mean where would you draw the line? can't married people be lustful also? I dont know.

[CatherineM]

[quote name='doe-jo' post='1866903' date='May 14 2009, 12:38 AM']hmm maybe it's just me but... i mean where would you draw the line? can't married people be lustful also? I dont know. [/quote]

They can certainly be lustful about people they aren't married to. They can be lustful when thinking of their spouses as only an outlet for their sexual satisfactions. I've had people talk to me because they were worried about lusting after their spouses. Usually the ones who actually think about it, and are worried about it, aren't lusting after their spouses, they're just crazy in love and want to do stuff the right way.

[TotusTuusMaria]

didn't jpII say we shouldn't lust though, not even after our spouses?

when we lust we objectify the person as an instrument of our own pleasure... we use them. if we love someone we shouldn't lust after them and objectify them... right?

[TotusTuusMaria]

[quote name='Socrates' post='1866587' date='May 13 2009, 10:17 PM']I predict this thread will soon move to the debate board.

. . . then be closed after twenty-odd pages.

[/quote]

[TotusTuusMaria]

[quote name='cappie' post='1866466' date='May 13 2009, 07:00 PM']WARSAW, Poland (AP) — The Rev. Ksawery Knotz has a message for all married Catholic couples out there: there's nothing wrong with a steamy sex life.

In fact, it's a good thing.

In his new book "Sex as you don't know it: For married couples who love God," the Polish friar provides a theological and practical guide for Catholics that has little in common with the strait-laced attitudes often associated with the Roman Catholic Church.

"Some people, when they hear about the holiness of married sex, immediately imagine that such sex has to be deprived of joy, frivolous play, fantasy and attractive positions," Knotz writes. "(They think) it has to be sad like a traditional church hymn."

But Knotz, a Franciscan friar from a monastery outside Krakow in southern Poland, wants to change all that. His book aims to sweep away the taboos and assure Catholic couples that good sex is part of a good marriage.

"The most important message is that sexuality does not deviate at all from religiousness and the Catholic faith, and that we can connect spirituality and a search for God with a happy sex life," Knotz told The Associated Press by telephone.

Much of the book stems from questions that Knotz encountered while counseling married couples.

"I talk with a lot of married couples and I listen to them, so these problems just kind of sit in my mind," he said. "I would like for them to be happier with their sex life, and for them to understand the Church's teachings so there won't be unnecessary tension or a sense of guilt."

Clergymen, including Knotz's countryman Pope John Paul II and his successor Pope Benedict XVI, have written about the ethics of love, marriage and sexuality before, and laymen have penned steamy sex guides for married Catholic couples.

But few if any priests have taken Knotz's explicit approach to sex — including everything from the theological to the practical, from oral sex to contraception and the number of children a Catholic couple should have.

"Every act — a type of caress, a sexual position — with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God," Knotz writes. "During sexual intercourse, married couples can show their love in every way, can offer one another the most sought after caresses. They can employ manual and oral stimulation."

The book falls squarely within the commonly held view of the Church's teaching on sex: Knotz discourages the use of condoms or birth control pills, and says they "lead a married couple outside of Catholic culture and into a completely different lifestyle."

But some Poles have been surprised by the overriding message of the book: sex is an important way for a man and wife to express their love and grow closer to God.

"Married couples celebrate their sacrament, their life with Christ also during sex," Knotz writes.

"Calling sex a celebration of the marriage sacrament raises its dignity in an exceptional way. Such a statement shocks people who learned to look at sexuality in a bad way. It is difficult for them to understand that God is also interested in their happy sex life and in this way gives them his gift."

The book received the necessary approval from Poland's church authorities that it is theologically in line with Catholic teachings. There also has been no sign of a backlash in the heavily Catholic and conservative homeland of the late Pope John Paul II.

Still, Knotz acknowledges that a priest writing a book about sex "is in and of itself a bit of a sensation."

The book hit stores across Poland last month. The Sw. Pawel publishing house has ordered a reprint after readers quickly snapped up the first 5,000 copies.

The publisher said it is in talks about possible English, Italian and Slovakian translations of the Polish-language book.

[url="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jPb6orr8TUqqiIof81VUGbNkojSAD985A4301"]http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/articl...NkojSAD985A4301[/url][/quote]

Fr., what do you think about this book?

[CatherineM]

[quote name='TotusTuusMaria' post='1866925' date='May 14 2009, 01:17 AM']didn't jpII say we shouldn't lust though, not even after our spouses?

when we lust we objectify the person as an instrument of our own pleasure... we use them. if we love someone we shouldn't lust after them and objectify them... right?[/quote]

We tend to think of all sexual desire as lust. That's not the case. You're supposed to have sexual desire for your spouse. As long as you aren't treating them as just an instrument of our own pleasure, then it isn't lust. I was trying to make the point, badly apparently, that sometimes, spouses who very much love their partners, and feel a strong sexual desire for them, that is reciprocated, worry unnecessarily that they are actually lusting after them. It's that Catholic guilt stuff. John Paul said we should be naked without shame with our spouses. Sometimes that shame rears itself as being afraid that we are lusting when we just experiencing normal desire. My husband is always afraid that he is lusting after me. I tell him that if I ever feel like he is just using me or objectifying me, I'll let him know, with extreme prejudice. That's what God invented rolling pins for.

[ariaane]

I thought this thread was about to be about this popular priest who writes sex novels and publishes them. I think he might do it under an alias though.

Question: How do you distinguish between lusting for your spouse, and being sexually excited during the marital act?

I’ve never understood this...

[kafka]

[quote name='cappie' post='1866466' date='May 13 2009, 07:00 PM']"Every act — a type of caress, a sexual position — with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God," Knotz writes. "During sexual intercourse, married couples can show their love in every way, can offer one another the most sought after caresses. They can employ manual and oral stimulation."[/quote]
I get a sense about myself that by the end of this year when fall and winter come again and I start getting moody and in the mode of seasonal depression that my eschatological ravings are going to get even more severe than ever if stuff like this keeps appearing.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='ariaane' post='1866953' date='May 14 2009, 08:26 AM']Question: How do you distinguish between lusting for your spouse, and being sexually excited during the marital act?

I’ve never understood this...[/quote]
Are you looking at your spouse as a means to an end? Wanting just to get your own sexual pleasure? That's lust.

Or do you instead look at them with pure love, wanting not just your own pleasure, but, more importantly, wanting to love them, to show them that love, to give them that pleasure?

A bit simplistic perhaps, but hopefully that helps.