mcts Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 (edited) Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hard working American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: He crossed to die in the rain. Alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? CHENEY: Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. Edited May 20, 2009 by mcts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcts Posted May 20, 2009 Author Share Posted May 20, 2009 (edited) sometimes i mess things up. Edited May 20, 2009 by mcts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintOlaf Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Al Gore "I invented the chicken!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 To flee the wrath of a vengeful Sultan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintOlaf Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='Hassan' post='1871848' date='May 20 2009, 03:07 PM']To flee the wrath of a vengeful Sultan [/quote] you dont scare me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='SaintOlaf' post='1871851' date='May 20 2009, 02:11 PM']you dont scare me [/quote] The weak minded rarely appreciate the true dangers in this world Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintOlaf Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 A silly looking sultan can hardly be considered dangerous. Comical? Yes. Entertaining? Sure. Dangerous? Not with my training. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='SaintOlaf' post='1871865' date='May 20 2009, 02:25 PM']A silly looking sultan can hardly be considered dangerous. Comical? Yes. Entertaining? Sure. Dangerous? Not with my training. [/quote] Comical? Comical looking like the Poison Arrow Frog? The highly deadly Rainforest animal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintOlaf Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I'm not afraid of that frog. My gun is bigger than it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='SaintOlaf' post='1871882' date='May 20 2009, 02:45 PM']I'm not afraid of that frog. My gun is bigger than it.[/quote] I wonder what Freud would say about that comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintOlaf Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 (edited) Last I heard he was dead... I met his grand-daughter once though. Edited May 20, 2009 by SaintOlaf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='SaintOlaf' post='1871890' date='May 20 2009, 01:53 PM']Last I heard he was dead... I met his grand-daughter once though.[/quote] I'm three degrees of seperation away from Ayatollah Khomeini Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintOlaf Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Is that like the grand poobah of secret muslims? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 [quote name='SaintOlaf' post='1871898' date='May 20 2009, 02:59 PM']Is that like the grand poobah of secret muslims?[/quote] No, I always did want to tickle him. Seriously, has anyone else ever noticed he NEVER smiled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I think that it would be humorous to hear what G.K. Chesterton would say as to why the chicken crossed the road. I'd also like to hear what Jesus would say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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