Brother Vinny Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 [quote name='mcts' post='1871831' date='May 20 2009, 01:32 PM']Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? HILLARY CLINTON. . ..[/quote] Madame Senator, isn't it true that you're a shareholder of Tyson, one of the largest companies preventing the crossing of roads by chickens in the U.S. today? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Vinny Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 JOHN CALVIN: "The Totally-Depraved-yet-Unconditionally-Elect chicken was predestined (as one of a select few who had a skeletal structure strong enough for the journey--a doctrine called Limited A-bone-ment) from the beginning of time to be moved across the road by Irresistible Grace, and due to this Grace was able to Persevere in a Saintly way to the other side." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rose wrought of iron Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 [quote name='Brother Vinny' post='1872990' date='May 21 2009, 10:39 PM']JOHN CALVIN: "The Totally-Depraved-yet-Unconditionally-Elect chicken was predestined (as one of a select few who had a skeletal structure strong enough for the journey--a doctrine called Limited A-bone-ment) from the beginning of time to be moved across the road by Irresistible Grace, and due to this Grace was able to Persevere in a Saintly way to the other side."[/quote] This actually made me start laughing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Vinny Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 [quote name='Hassan' post='1871903' date='May 20 2009, 03:05 PM']No, I always did want to tickle him. Seriously, has anyone else ever noticed he NEVER smiled [/quote] Same with Tom Landry. And did you ever notice that they were [i]never[/i] in the same room at the same time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christie_M Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 [quote name='mcts' post='1871831' date='May 20 2009, 11:32 AM']Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road. HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me....... DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hard working American. MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: He crossed to die in the rain. Alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE: I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? CHENEY: Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.[/quote] amazing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 [quote name='Brother Vinny' post='1872998' date='May 21 2009, 09:43 PM']Same with Tom Landry. And did you ever notice that they were [i]never[/i] in the same room at the same time?[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not A Mallard Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 (edited) Darth Vader: Obi-wan never told you what happen to the chicken. Luke: He told me enough! He told me it crossed the road. Darth Vader: No. I crossed the road. Edited May 22, 2009 by Not A Mallard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bus Station Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 [quote name='mcts' post='1871831' date='May 20 2009, 01:32 PM']ERNEST HEMINGWAY: He crossed to die in the rain. Alone.[/quote] LOL This list is beautiful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selah Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 [quote name='Brother Vinny' post='1872990' date='May 21 2009, 11:39 PM']JOHN CALVIN: "The Totally-Depraved-yet-Unconditionally-Elect chicken was predestined (as one of a select few who had a skeletal structure strong enough for the journey--a doctrine called Limited A-bone-ment) from the beginning of time to be moved across the road by Irresistible Grace, and due to this Grace was able to Persevere in a Saintly way to the other side."[/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hassan Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 [quote name='Selah' post='1873548' date='May 22 2009, 09:46 PM'][/quote] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
princessgianna Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint Therese Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 The chicken crossed the road because it wanted to check its mail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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