Arghhhh This Is So Hard ):

[OraProMe]

Long story short:

Through most of 2008 I was in a relationship with this guy (for those who don't know, I'm a guy too). We broke up at the end of last year and a few months ago we started talking again. This guy is close to perfect, no joke. He's kind, smart, intelligent, hard working, athletic, attractive, musical. Like, everything. So anyway a few weeks ago he said he regretted us breaking up, that he missed me so much and wanted to be together again. I didn't give an answer because I've been torn between my faith and sexuality. Eventually I decided that I'll do the will of the Father and not my own. So, despite the fact that I love him and miss him a heck of a lot I told him that I couldn't be with him. I can't even begin to explain how hard this was, for an entire year he was one of the best things in my life and I wanted to be back with him more than anything.

I've prayed a lot and on Friday spent an hour infront of Our Lord at the Cathedral literally talking about it under my breath, getting out everything I was feeling and asking God to make me strong.

I think knowing that I can be with him if I want but rejecting him is harder to deal with than just breaking up. I don't know what to do.

</rant>

Edited May 30, 2009 by OraProMe

[Archaeology cat]

I can't imagine how hard that is. My prayers are with you, and with him.

[missionseeker]

Sometimes our most painful sacrifices our the most beautiful blessings. It just takes us a bit before we can see it.

[mamalove]

The greater the sacrifice, the sweeter the reward. Prayers for you.

[HisChildForever]

If you think about it, your calling from God (since birth, since before you were even created actually!) was to live the single life. Think about how much more joy you will get doing God's will, compared to the joy you would have with your ex. Although, quite frankly, since you know that being in the relationship would be wrong, were you to go back to him, the joy you would expect to find would either be lessened or missing entirely.

[Hassan]

I would say you need to stop swaying back and forth. Decide what you want and go after it. Only you can make that determination. Seeing as I don't share your faith I think it's a pitty you're giving up this happiness for, what I can only see as, some pie in the shy unfounded hope. On the other hand if Catholicism is truely ingrained in you and you can' give it up or accecpt a more accecpting variation then you need to stop flirting with your past. You don't want to like a Schitzophrenic life.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='Hassan' post='1878400' date='May 30 2009, 11:22 AM']Seeing as I don't share your faith I think it's a pitty you're giving up this happiness for, what I can only see as, some pie in the shy unfounded hope.[/quote]

I think this thread calls for encouragement and inspiration, not negativity.

[quote]You don't want to like a Schitzophrenic life.[/quote]

I fail to see how his predicament resembles the mental conflicts a Schizophrenic suffers. You probably wanted to use the phrase "Bipolar" - going back and forth from one extreme (depression) to another extreme (mania), on complete opposite sides of the spectrum (such as a homosexual lifestyle "versus" a Catholic lifestyle). In any event, such a remark is inappropriate to make.

Edited May 30, 2009 by HisChildForever

[Hassan]

[quote name='HisChildForever' post='1878403' date='May 30 2009, 11:26 AM']I think this thread calls for encouragement and inspiration, not negativity.[/quote]


I wasn't trying to be negative but honest. If I'm giving him my oppinion I want him to understand where that oppinion is comming from.


[quote]I fail to see how his predicament resembles the mental conflicts a Schizophrenic suffers. You probably wanted to use the phrase "Bipolar" - going back and forth from one extreme (depression) to another extreme (mania), on complete opposite sides of the spectrum (such as a homosexual lifestyle "versus" a Catholic lifestyle). In any event, such a remark is inappropriate to make.[/quote]


The Greek roots of the word of Schitzophrenia means "split mind". Bi Polar is generally used to relate to variant moods while Schitzophrenic is used for the adapation of two different mind sets (in my reading experience). For example I'm reading "Jewish Philsophy as a Guide to Life" by Hilary Putnam. In his capacity as a philsopher Putnam is a scientific materialist, yet as discussed in his book he is also a practicing Jew and he makes no accounting of this discrepancy. His switch isin't between two different moods but between two different mind sets, it is schitzophrenic. Perhapse that does not fit well with what psychologists mean by the term, however outside of their home domain words often take on divergent meanings and the use of the term is pretty common and that's generally how it's used.

[Hassan]

schiz·o·phren·ic (skts-frnk)
adj.
1. Of, relating to, or affected with schizophrenia.
[b]2. Of, relating to, or characterized by the coexistence of disparate or antagonistic elements.[/b]n.
One who is affected with schizophrenia.

[Jaime]

[quote name='Hassan' post='1878407' date='May 30 2009, 11:39 AM']I wasn't trying to be negative but honest. If I'm giving him my oppinion I want him to understand where that oppinion is comming from.





The Greek roots of the word of Schitzophrenia means "split mind". Bi Polar is generally used to relate to variant moods while Schitzophrenic is used for the adapation of two different mind sets (in my reading experience). For example I'm reading "Jewish Philsophy as a Guide to Life" by Hilary Putnam. In his capacity as a philsopher Putnam is a scientific materialist, yet as discussed in his book he is also a practicing Jew and he makes no accounting of this discrepancy. His switch isin't between two different moods but between two different mind sets, it is schitzophrenic. Perhapse that does not fit well with what psychologists mean by the term, however outside of their home domain words often take on divergent meanings and the use of the term is pretty common and that's generally how it's used.[/quote]


Its schizophrenia. Its misused and when misused it can be offensive to those who deal with it.

And Ora you are in a very tough situation. But anyone who is single can relate.

"I care about this person so I want to be with this person."

For me it helps to make it about the other person. Does my involvement with this person help or hurt their relationship with God?

[Moosey]

[quote name='OraProMe' post='1878387' date='May 30 2009, 11:29 AM']Long story short:

Through most of 2008 I was in a relationship with this guy (for those who don't know, I'm a guy too). We broke up at the end of last year and a few months ago we started talking again. This guy is close to perfect, no joke. He's kind, smart, intelligent, hard working, athletic, attractive, musical. Like, everything. So anyway a few weeks ago he said he regretted us breaking up, that he missed me so much and wanted to be together again. I didn't give an answer because I've been torn between my faith and sexuality. Eventually I decided that I'll do the will of the Father and not my own. So, despite the fact that I love him and miss him a heck of a lot I told him that I couldn't be with him. I can't even begin to explain how hard this was, for an entire year he was one of the best things in my life and I wanted to be back with him more than anything.

I've prayed a lot and on Friday spent an hour infront of Our Lord at the Cathedral literally talking about it under my breath, getting out everything I was feeling and asking God to make me strong.

I think knowing that I can be with him if I want but rejecting him is harder to deal with than just breaking up. I don't know what to do.

</rant>[/quote]
Aww man. God Bless you. I can't imagine how frustrating and painful that is. I can, however, relate in the sense of denying oneself for love of God. I'd rather not elaborate for personal reasons, but I can say that it is almost physically painful to deny my own wants for God's wants. It helps me to think of how much I repay Him for pouring out his blood for my sake when I give up sinful habits completely. I want to show Him how much I love him more than any other desire. The hard part is putting it into practice of course.

Im praying for you kiddo. You're an inspiration to me. Get some souls out of purgatory. You could do a lot of damage there

[CatherineM]

NVM, not in the mood.

[Hassan]

[quote name='hot stuff' post='1878410' date='May 30 2009, 11:42 AM']Its schizophrenia. Its misused and when misused it can be offensive to those who deal with it.[/quote]


Using the adjective "Schizophrenic" in the context I used it is not a misuse of the word. As far as I know the only one here, aside from myself, who has had family with Schizophrenia is CathyM. Aside from her I really don't know of anyone here with more standing to be offended by the use of the term than me seeing as I have had family and a best friend who suffered from Schizophrenia. I don't find it the slightest bit offensive because it is a perfectly appropiate and propper word to use. It is not used as a pejorative nor is it used to mock individuals with the affliction. If CathyM, or someone else who has some real standing to be offended by the term finds it offensive I'd be happy to stop using it here. If not I think you all would do better to petition Mr. Webster than me.

[Jaime]

[quote name='Hassan' post='1878421' date='May 30 2009, 11:57 AM']Using the adjective "Schizophrenic" in the context I used it is not a misuse of the word. As far as I know the only one here, aside from myself, who has had family with Schizophrenia is CathyM. Aside from her I really don't know of anyone here with more standing to be offended by the use of the term than me seeing as I have had family and a best friend who suffered from Schizophrenia. I don't find it the slightest bit offensive because it is a perfectly appropiate and propper word to use. It is not used as a pejorative nor is it used to mock individuals with the affliction. If CathyM, or someone else who has some real standing to be offended by the term finds it offensive I'd be happy to stop using it here. If not I think you all would do better to petition Mr. Webster than me.[/quote]


Real standing with what sport? With Phatmass? With the world of psychology?

I've got a master's in psych and standing here. I have enough knowledge to leave mr Webster alone.

I even know how to spell schizophrenia.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='Hassan' post='1878407' date='May 30 2009, 11:39 AM']The Greek roots of the word of Schitzophrenia means "split mind". Bi Polar is generally used to relate to variant moods while Schitzophrenic is used for the adapation of two different mind sets (in my reading experience).[/quote]

I don't care what your reading experience is, I've been studying Psychology for three years now and this is the BASICS. There are only TWO moods of Bipolar, or "phases." Manic and depressive. Bipolar I is what I just described; Bipolar II is characterized by hypomania (a less severe version of mania) and depression.

There are MULTIPLE types of Schizophrenia, and different kinds of symptoms: Negative, where a person is lacking in something (alogia) and Positive, where something is "added" (delusions). Again, there are various dimensions to Schizophrenia. You can read up on the subtypes here: [url="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/types-of-schizophrenia/"]http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/types-of-schizophrenia/[/url]

[quote name='Hassan' post='1878409' date='May 30 2009, 11:41 AM']schiz·o·phren·ic (skts-frnk)
adj.
1. Of, relating to, or affected with schizophrenia.
[b]2. Of, relating to, or characterized by the coexistence of disparate or antagonistic elements.[/b]n.
One who is affected with schizophrenia.[/quote]

This does not contradict what I have stated. ELEMENTS, plural.

But if you want the PROPER definition, consult the DSM. (This site is called "DSM made easy"): [url="http://psyweb.com/Mdisord/jsp/schid.jsp"]http://psyweb.com/Mdisord/jsp/schid.jsp[/url]