OraProMe Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Welcome back! Glad the operation was a success! I'll keep you in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 I got to keep my gallstones, did they let you keep your colon? I mean you could have a burial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 [quote name='Resurrexi' post='1899394' date='Jun 23 2009, 05:46 AM']You should have made the title of this thread "Resurrexi". Glad you're back! [/quote] That's more or less what I thought when I saw the topic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted June 23, 2009 Author Share Posted June 23, 2009 Hey my lame thread is now open mic. Cool beans. I am still lame tho. Lameness is like an education, no one can take it from you. I didn't keep my colon. I was thinking about going to Sam's Club and buying an enormous pickle jar for it ... but no. The doctors seemed to fancy it, so I let them have it. Now that my lame pooping disease jokes won't work anymore I have been working on the lame ostomy jokes. Mostly airport scenes, where I tell TSA people that I have an extra carry on bag, and no, they can't search it. I don't have a belly button anymore, therefore, many small children can be tricked into thinking I"m an alien. Also there will be times when I can announce that I am "full of c*rap" and have it be literally true. And then there is the actual stoma, which is now my pretend colon. It fluffy air extractions. It really truly fluffy air extractions. Sometimes its been frustrating, because I'll say "hey did you hear that! It farted!" But people will have missed it. What good is a fluffy air extraction joke if no one hears the fluffy air extraction? Oh well. For my own amusement, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 [quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1899548' date='Jun 23 2009, 12:09 PM']Now that my lame pooping disease jokes won't work anymore I have been working on the lame ostomy jokes. Mostly airport scenes, where I tell TSA people that I have an extra carry on bag, and no, they can't search it.[/quote] Yes please do this, not when I am there though [quote]And then there is the actual stoma, which is now my pretend colon. It fluffy air extractions. It really truly fluffy air extractions. Sometimes its been frustrating, because I'll say "hey did you hear that! It farted!" But people will have missed it. What good is a fluffy air extraction joke if no one hears the fluffy air extraction? Oh well. For my own amusement, I guess.[/quote] I'm starting to think dUSt has a fiddler that turns the word fluffy air extractions into fluffy air extractions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Groo the Wanderer Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 So I guess you'll be brown-bagging it a lot then? LORF! welcome back! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 [quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1899548' date='Jun 23 2009, 09:09 AM']Hey my lame thread is now open mic. Cool beans. I am still lame tho. Lameness is like an education, no one can take it from you. I didn't keep my colon. I was thinking about going to Sam's Club and buying an enormous pickle jar for it ... but no. The doctors seemed to fancy it, so I let them have it. Now that my lame pooping disease jokes won't work anymore I have been working on the lame ostomy jokes. Mostly airport scenes, where I tell TSA people that I have an extra carry on bag, and no, they can't search it. I don't have a belly button anymore, therefore, many small children can be tricked into thinking I"m an alien. Also there will be times when I can announce that I am "full of c*rap" and have it be literally true. And then there is the actual stoma, which is now my pretend colon. It fluffy air extractions. It really truly fluffy air extractions. Sometimes its been frustrating, because I'll say "hey did you hear that! It farted!" But people will have missed it. What good is a fluffy air extraction joke if no one hears the fluffy air extraction? Oh well. For my own amusement, I guess.[/quote] +J.M.J.+ i am so glad that you are able to have a sense of humor about the whole thing. God has truly blessed you. you are amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seven77 Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Lilllabettt, I'm glad you're well... you are an amazing person for the way your excepting your situation. Please pray for us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted June 23, 2009 Author Share Posted June 23, 2009 Yeah, I can't argue. Can't deny objective reality. My amazingness has been self-evident to me from a very young age; (about the age of reason, which for me was about a week after I was born, me being amazing and all.) Really to me it is not that big a deal. I don't have body image hang ups, and that's mostly what people worry about with this, I'm guessing. "boo hoo I'm not sexy no more" ... that's just not me. the grossest/coolest part is not even the hole in my stomach, its the incision. they cut me up and down the middle, pig style. One of my surgeons is from Spain; he has this exotic accent and he talks low and is honestly very cute. Anyway my name for him was Zorro. The mask of Zorro is a surgical mask, you know. I was really really hoping that I would wake up and my incision would be in the shape of a "Z" but no such luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 [quote name='Lilllabettt' post='1899548' date='Jun 23 2009, 11:09 AM']I don't have a belly button anymore[/quote] lol! Makes me think of that book titled "Did Adam & Eve have bellybuttons?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musturde Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 hope everything works out. You should get a priest to bless your colon. then you can utter words such as holy cr*p. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie-Therese Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 So glad you're feeling better, and the surgery was successful! Without knowing (and feel free to tell me "none ya business") I am guessing the colon resection was IBD related...is the stoma a temporary? Are they going to do another surgery to reroute the healthy colon? Sorry for the invasive questions...the RN in me just won't be quiet. LOL Prayers for your continued health, and good humor! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted June 23, 2009 Author Share Posted June 23, 2009 [quote name='Marie-Therese' post='1899622' date='Jun 23 2009, 01:29 PM']So glad you're feeling better, and the surgery was successful! Without knowing (and feel free to tell me "none ya business") I am guessing the colon resection was IBD related...is the stoma a temporary? Are they going to do another surgery to reroute the healthy colon? Sorry for the invasive questions...the RN in me just won't be quiet. LOL Prayers for your continued health, and good humor![/quote] Hey no problemo. Like I said, for some reason this stuff doesn't bother me, I'm just shameless I guess. Yeah, I had ulcerative colitis. I had a total colectomy, so they took all of it out, no more colon to reconnected. As for whether its permanent ... its complicated. There's this thing they have for colitis patients where they take the whole colon out (which cures the disease) and then they take the small intestine and make an internal reservoir out of it, and reconnect THAT ... so it acts like a colon and you go mushy mud pie like a normal person, no bag or anything. My surgeon was one of the people who invented it 30 yrs ago. He was going to do it for me this time, but when they opened me up it turned out my insides were too messed up to do it right away. So he gave me a "permanent" stoma, which in about a year he's going to turn into a "temporary" stoma, which 3 months after that he'll reconnect and I'll be normal again (from the outside anyway. I guess if i have an x ray they'll say holy moly she has no colon.) PS. All of you bowel intact people are going to have to be scoped after age 50 for colon cancer. Not me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 Glad to see you've kept a sense of humor through all this. And good to see you're up and around and feeling better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlesister Posted June 23, 2009 Share Posted June 23, 2009 God bless your courage. That's what it takes to keep such a sense of humor through that kind of a journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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