Sister Marie Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 This is interesting to me because I don't think I ever consciously thought while discerning about community size even though it is probably an important factor to consider. (Thankfully, it seems God considered that for me, lol, since I didn't seem to think about it myself!) A few other observations... When one enters an apostolic community that is large one must remember that she could be sent to a mission to live with three sisters one year and another mission of twenty sisters the next. Community living is very different in each of those situations and rarely can we control or predict accurately how we will respond and feel about this. There are positives and negatives to both types of living situations and each sister, depending on her personality, will find different things difficult. It is always interesting to me to think and talk about the future of religious life and the connection between stagnation or life and the size of a congregation is a complicated one. Size can be an indicator of the health and future of a congregation or it could not be - it is so dependent upon other factors as well. I would suggest though that there are some other ways to test the health of a congregation and their ability to move into the unknown future with trust and openness to God's will. Obviously, these are really subjective questions but I think any discerner who has known a community for a while could "talk at" them enough to get an idea. Is the community still willing to take risks? Are they still offering opportunities for ongoing formation for each sister? Is sacrificial love between the sisters evident? Can sisters disagree and discuss and be respected in the process? Are they open with one another about deeper experiences of God, prayer, ministry, and community life? Do they dream together about what the future might hold for a congregation they might not live to see? Are they planning for the future changes in community as numbers decrease? When they interact with one another, are they joyful and authentic? Do they laugh? If you can answer "yes" to these questions after really getting to know a congregation, I would say that's an indication that they are not stagnant but are fertile ground (in need of seeds and tending!) for future religious. I would imagine that many congregations like this exist and have not received many vocations in recent years. I would also imagine that some of the enormous congregations of past, even though they may have a steady stream of vocations right now, are shrinking drastically because there's just no way they are going to have 100 women enter in a year like they did in 1950. These congregations are not dead and dying. They are lacking new vocations but the women in them are very much alive and on fire for what they are doing and who they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Sr Marie good to see you around here again! An as always with well phrased wisdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemma Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 One of the things that does give me grief (though less as time passes) is not knowing whether I could have had this role in my former community. There was one sister ahead of me who hadn't yet been tonsured, and another young woman who asked to enter while I was there. I left and then the other two dropped out soon after... It's not a 'regret' as such, because I know God brings us good opportunities all the time, but the image of that potentially different community does haunt me. Dear me. I can understand you so well. However the reverse could be true as well. Maybe you remember my grief about two former members (at that time good friends of mine) of my former community who made a big campaign against the community. At first I thought: Maybe I could have prevented much of this if I had stayed, maybe I could have drawn them in another direction just by group dynamics, maybe they wouldn't have left, maybe... But then it became clear to me: I couldn't have hindered them. More probable is that they would have catched me. Maybe I would have made everything worse than it was? So I'm again in peace with my leaving (which was in God's plan, I am sure). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obonitas! Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 Quality always. It is quality that sustains a good community, that draws quality members and can provide a good spiritual formation; one that is steady and firm. Size comes and goes. But quality stands firm, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
totustuus20 Posted January 26, 2015 Share Posted January 26, 2015 I'm really interested in a community that is big enough to be vibrant, but where the local communities are small enough to feel like a family. I really liked visiting a convent where there were 5 sisters because it really felt like a family and everyone was so close. It was great to know that there were 85 other sisters all over the world, though, because it means that the community is alive and well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katherineH Posted January 26, 2015 Author Share Posted January 26, 2015 I'm really interested in a community that is big enough to be vibrant, but where the local communities are small enough to feel like a family. I really liked visiting a convent where there were 5 sisters because it really felt like a family and everyone was so close. It was great to know that there were 85 other sisters all over the world, though, because it means that the community is alive and well. Yes I agree! I think I could easily feel overwhelmed in a community like DSMME but I love the idea of small convents across the country that still feel like a large family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Marie Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 When I moved from a community of five to one of more than fifteen I found I did miss the more intimate/family moments in community. I remember being especially "homesick" for my smaller community as I celebrated Christmas at a large community party instead of sitting with the five women I had lived with before. However, there are definitely some other bonuses to living with many versus few. Although we were certainly happy together in the small convent, there is constant laughter when there are a large number and if someone difficult is bothering you, you can take a temporary break from them in a large place. In a small convent there are no breaks. Many hands make light work in a larger community and the support you receive can be overwhelming in times of need. Regardless of size though, love is the most important factor. We all know that love is found where two or more are gathered in his name and, regardless of size, that is certainly what I've found in my sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LoveofJMJ Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 While discerning, I've noticed that I have looked at the size of the communities. I remember looking into the Children of Mary but didn't think much of them because they seemed too new for me. Now they have about 10(?) professed sisters and have come back on my radar because of it. The size of a community that I'm joining is a bit important to me. I don't mind if the order is on the small side but not if there are only 3 professed sisters or something. I'm not the type of person that would like to be a guinea pig for a small, new community. I'm more of a tried and tested person. Unless God sends me some sort of spiritual 2x4 upside the head, I don't see it changing any time soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sr Mary Brigid Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 You all bring up such very good points. Now being a Novice in a small community myself, I think it's important to look at the community's history and keep in perspective not only where they've been, and where they are, but ALSO (more importantly) where (and how) they want to be going as they serve our dear Lord! I will also say that being open to being in a small and hopefully growing community demands a lot of "entrepeneurial" spirit: it demands a willingness to take on many roles and responsibilities as they come up, and a willingness to take more of an active role than one might have to in a larger community. There's no hiding in a small community! There is also a keen sense of adventure in joining a community that is small and poised for growth--if one is willing to contribute, dive in, take responsibility, and work, then one can sort of be like a 'founder' again in another wave of growth! These are very exciting times for those who are willing to be brave in the name of our Lord! We pray every day here in our convent for all of you in discernment....blessings to you all in your journey! (p.s.: We are having a "come and see" weekend Feb. 6-8 if anyone ages 20-50 wants to check out our particular small community!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Villalovos Smith Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I find it interesting that the Children of Mary have several Sisters with the black veil who only entered in 2013. Seems like a short period of time. Pax Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kayte Postle Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I find it interesting that the Children of Mary have several Sisters with the black veil who only entered in 2013. Seems like a short period of time. Pax The postulant period for Children of Mary is approx. 6 months (the exact length is discerned on a person to person basis) and they have a one year canonical novitiate. In canon law there is no requirement for length of postulantcy, and canon law only requires the one year canonical novitiate, although many communities add a second year to the novitiate. So while it is not the norm amoung communities, the length of their formation is in line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oratefratres Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Lol this thread is full of girls....men join orders too you know! I'd prefer a smaller order, not a massive one. and i'd like a range of ages because everyone has their gifts. older men have life experience and wiseness. younger ones have vibrancy ang long life left. i'm quite mature for my age so i think having mostly young men is not important . also you join for the charism not the age range surely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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