Are There Any Truly Devout Catholic Girls Out There?

[jenna311]

I'm not at a Catholic college either, and I know that can be hard sometimes. It is extremely difficult to find guys who are seriously committed to their faith.

This past weekend I was at a retreat which was mostly made up of girls from Ave Maria University, but some came from other places as well. It was a silent retreat, so I didn't really get to know many of the people very well, but I do know that there are some very wonderful women out there who are striving very hard to be holy--and there are women like that everywhere, even if they are hard to find.

Something that was brought up during the retreat was about trying to find fulfillment in creatures. It was very appropriate actually, as it corresponded exactly with what I had been reading in Three to Get Married by Fulton Sheen. Basically, we have this great longing in our hearts that ONLY God can fill. And yet, a lot of the time, we try to fill that void with relationships. We end up being desperately unhappy with those relationships because an infinite need can't be filled with something finite and earthly.

I'm 20 as well, and I have not really dated. At times, that is really really difficult. But I've been realizing how grace-filled this time of being single can be. There is time to truly grow in relationship with Our Lord, with less distractions. [I don't mean that relationships are bad things, at all, but if you are in a relationship with someone, that places certain demands on your time.] Use this time to grow in relationship with the Lord, to grow in love for Him. That way, you can become the true man that God wants you to be--and one with a better ability to love others, including a future spouse. Pray for your future spouse, so that she can become the woman God wants her to be.

We need to learn to be truly happy with God before we can be happy with another person. He longs to fill that void in your heart--that void that only He can fill.

Be patient, and trust in the Lord and his timing. [I need to learn this as well ] Trust that He never does anything in our lives that is not for our own good.

[CoffeeCatholic]

sometimes it's not the *currently* good Catholic girls that you should be paying attention to.

I was confirmed and accepted into the church at Easter 2005, but my conversion didn't really begin until after I met Joey. I look back on it now, and the fact that he was so patient, loving, and instructive to me in my faith really helped me to love him back, even though I was right smack dab in a "dark night".

Also, I'm 23- I met Joey when I was 20 and he was 21. We'll both be 24 when we're married, God willing (on the marriage part, the age part is kinda set in stone). It just goes to show that all good things take time.

And finally, I have a very good friend, Cherie, who is 25, beautiful, talented (beyond your wildest imagination), smart, fun to be with, caring, etc... and she has never had a single relationship. she doesn't feel called to the religious or single life, so while it's tough, she feels that it'll all happen in God's time.

God Bless! Keep the praying up, and remember not to neglect your friendships, male and female, in your quest.

[CatherineM]

I met my husband on Ave Maria. I had been on about 6 weeks, and he had been on almost 2 years. In the beginning, I didn't contact anyone, and just allowed guys to contact me. One was looking for someone to financially support him so he could go back to school. The next one was um, a fetish seeking person, and that's all I'll say about that. I wrote to the chaplain on the site and asked him if that was common, and if so, I was going to be gone. He asked me how many men I had contacted, and I told him none. He told me the Holy Spirit wasn't going to just drop one in my lap.

So I did a search for guys in my age group (40-45 at the time), and who didn't smoke. It brought up 800 names. So I had it narrow to those who agreed with the Pope on all the issues they list on the site. That narrowed it to 100, and I carefully read each profile, and something about my future husband's picture seemed to "call" to me. I wrote him. I didn't get a reply for a week. I was just about to move to the next person on the list when he finally wrote back. He'd been out of town visiting his parents. That was in June. I came for a month long visit in October, we got engaged two weeks in, and got married in January almost 3 years ago now.

He had almost given up trying to find someone at that point, and rarely looked at the site. That was a real advantage to me that Ave Maria only charges one time for unlimited use. I don't know if they still do that, but it keeps people from feeling like they have to hurry. My husband would have long ago let his membership lapse otherwise. We have been beyond happy, and couldn't have met in any other conceivable way. The Holy Spirit will work when you least expect it.

[Paladin D]

[quote name='reelguy227' post='1692118' date='Nov 3 2008, 02:59 AM']So here's the story.I joined Ave Maria Singles and sent messages to two girls. One wrote me back and told me I was too young, despite the fact that I'm 20 and she's 22, which really didn't make any sense. And the other hasn't even sent back yet. I've never really had a true girlfriend, and am 20 years old!! I feel like a failure, that I'll never get into a serious relationship, and eventually never get married. I've been rejected twice, and have yet to meet any seriously devout Catholic girls...it's pathetic, what gives? I'm starting to wonder whether Ave Maria was even worth the money. I just don't even get why I bother, no one has ever truly liked me.

I hope I don't sound like I'm whining, because I'm not, I just feel really pathetic and lonely. It seems like everyone I know is in some sort of relationship and I'm the same old lonely me.....

Any words of encouragement for a guy who's pretty down in the dumps about this??


Thanks and God bless[/quote]


[b]Reelguy[/b], I truely feel your pain. I'm 21, about to turn 22 in January (amazing how it's mostly early 20's in this thread that are in the same situation), and I [b]never[/b] had an actual dating relationship whatsoever. Why is it? Mostly out of fear of rejection to be honest, which kept me from taking a "leap of faith" and asking a girl out. The other is the lack of not only devout Catholic girls, but Catholic girls period. I live in a rural area of Virginia, which is predominately Baptist and Methodist, while the rest are simply semi-religious.

It's difficult, and does play with your mind and emotions. I don't have to repeat some of the things you said, because I share many of the same thoughts as well.

So far my count is 0-1-1 (zero said 'yes', one said 'no', while another was swooped up by another guy). Good thing I did not go out with any of them. Turned out one did drugs, while another lived a rather... "active" lifestyle. So I see it as a blessing that I didn't get involved, but am frustrated with the lack of good, quality females here.

All I can say is, don't give up, no matter what. God is always with you, and will provide all your needs. This doesn't mean you sit back, do nothing, and *hocus pocus* a girl arrives (which has happened, but not always); however, just keep an eye open and be aware while you're carrying on with your life.

Also to those who have responded before me, [b]thank you[/b]. Lots of good advice and words of encouragement.

[HisChildForever]

Cool, let me jump on the bandwagon. I'm twenty years old and single. But I have been in two relationships, both of them lasting about a year. The last one was a disaster, which has made me really value my "singleness." So anyway, don't get too far ahead of yourself - you just tried to chat with two women on an online forum! So don't start freaking out yet.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Paladin D' post='1692297' date='Nov 3 2008, 05:13 PM'][b]Reelguy[/b], I truely feel your pain. I'm 21, about to turn 22 in January (amazing how it's mostly early 20's in this thread that are in the same situation), and I [b]never[/b] had an actual dating relationship whatsoever. Why is it? Mostly out of fear of rejection to be honest, which kept me from taking a "leap of faith" and asking a girl out. The other is the lack of not only devout Catholic girls, but Catholic girls period. I live in a rural area of Virginia, which is predominately Baptist and Methodist, while the rest are simply semi-religious.[/quote]
Yeah, I noticed that when I went to visit my brother in VA over a weekend and needed to find a place to go to Mass. I think there was one Catholic parish anywhere near them.

[tinytherese]

Is there a Newman Center at your school or a young adult group at your parish? Maybe you could start a F.O.C.U.S. group on your campus or a young adult group at your parish if there isn't already one.

I'm twenty by the way too. See, there are single devout catholic girls on phatmass in your age group. Jesus is my unofficial fiancee though.

I had one friend in high school who almost always had a boyfriend. It was like she needed to be fulfilled by them. Someone even said on "The Pure Life" that a romantic relationship involves two whole people and not half a guy and half a girl who combine to make up one person. That "Be Satisfied" prayer is amazing and so true.

[rachael]

[quote name='Paladin D' post='1692297' date='Nov 3 2008, 01:13 PM'][b]Reelguy[/b], I truely feel your pain. I'm 21, about to turn 22 in January (amazing how it's mostly early 20's in this thread that are in the same situation), and I [b]never[/b] had an actual dating relationship whatsoever. Why is it? Mostly out of fear of rejection to be honest, which kept me from taking a "leap of faith" and asking a girl out. The other is the lack of not only devout Catholic girls, but Catholic girls period. I live in a rural area of Virginia, which is predominately Baptist and Methodist, while the rest are simply semi-religious.[/quote]
please...don't be afraid of rejection. we can be a cruel species. but we are relatively harmless otherwise. rejection stinks, but you learn to move on. hey, i've even experienced it a few times. you never know who will accept.



[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1692314' date='Nov 3 2008, 01:45 PM']Yeah, I noticed that when I went to visit my brother in VA over a weekend and needed to find a place to go to Mass. I think there was one Catholic parish anywhere near them.[/quote]
welcome to the south.

[IcePrincessKRS]

[quote name='rachael' post='1692318' date='Nov 3 2008, 01:56 PM']welcome to the south. [/quote]

Yeah, only down here will you get invited to a blooming Baptist church while buying milk.

[rachael]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' post='1692323' date='Nov 3 2008, 02:08 PM']Yeah, only down here will you get invited to a blooming Baptist church while buying milk.[/quote]
I thought you'd enjoy the party.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='rachael' post='1692318' date='Nov 3 2008, 05:56 PM']welcome to the south. [/quote]
I grew up in the South, it's just that I grew up Baptist, so I never really paid attention to how many Catholic parishes there were. When I converted, I was in FL, so there were quite a few Catholic parishes.

[rachael]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1692336' date='Nov 3 2008, 02:33 PM']I grew up in the South, it's just that I grew up Baptist, so I never really paid attention to how many Catholic parishes there were. When I converted, I was in FL, so there were quite a few Catholic parishes.[/quote]
but florida is not the south.

[Slappo]

I'd been in one serious relationship before I was almost 22 (still am almost 22). That relationship wasn't a good idea either. I forced it upon myself when I really felt in discernment that I needed to wait. Both her and I were hurt very much by it, and although I can't say that I regret the relationship, I learned a lot from my mistakes, and one thing is to be patient.

The beautiful girl I'm dating now has been with me since Sept 8th (only Catholic nerds plan the days to ask girls out etc on feast days ), but when I first met her, she was in a relationship with a guy she had been dating for [b]4[/b] years.

I was head over heels for her when I met her and started to get to know her, but all roads were blocked if you know what I mean. I was patient though and kept to prudent decision making and she broke up with him (not because of me) shortly after. That was last March, and I waited until September both for my own sake to be patient, and for her sake to let her rest in her singleness and recover from a long relationship, to re-find herself so to say. Now we're happily together and we'll see what happens from there.

I turn 22 in less then a month though. You're only 20, no huge rush. You're still in college too, at 20, I'd assume a sophomore, maybe Junior. For a prudently timed relationship that wasn't too long, anything before Junior year in college is really too early to be seriously dating anyways (unless you're both okay with getting married in college). Otherwise your dating relationship is well over a year and then tag on an engagement. Really, that's a long time to be dating. I don't want to date for more then a year before I'm engaged if possible.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='rachael' post='1692339' date='Nov 3 2008, 06:38 PM']but florida is not the south. [/quote]
Just that there are more Catholics there, from what I found. At least in the Jacksonville/St Augustine area.

[rachael]

[quote name='Archaeology cat' post='1692360' date='Nov 3 2008, 03:06 PM']Just that there are more Catholics there, from what I found. At least in the Jacksonville/St Augustine area.[/quote]
i know, i know.