Confession/reconciliation - Poll

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='14 January 2010 - 12:44 PM' timestamp='1263491055' post='2037008']
I would be really surprised to learn that God was ever annoyed with someone going to confession (even if it was a different priest)
[/quote]

Perhaps disappointed that I am avoiding priests I know, when I should swallow my pride and vanity by going to them.

[Selah]

1. once a month, at least.

2. I used to go once a week. I need to get back into that habit.

3. Yes

[somethingfishy]

[quote]Also, have you ever been so embarrassed by a sin (petty or serious), and gone to another priest so that your parish priest wouldn't know about it? This is also a sin (vanity) but I was very tempted once to do this because I know that my voice is very identifiable to my priest and that he would know who I was.[/quote]

I wasn't under the impression that going to a different priest for confession was a sin. You have a canonical right to an anonymous confession, and if for some reason you think your anonymity might be compromised you're well within your right to choose another priest.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='hot stuff' date='14 January 2010 - 10:44 AM' timestamp='1263491055' post='2037008']People should go once a year. I go once a month. I have a SD who is also my confessor. I find it really helps when I show up with the same laundry list rather than taking the laundry list to various priests.[/quote]
+JMJ+
yeah, i try to go to the same priest all the time for that reason.

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='somethingfishy' date='14 January 2010 - 02:29 PM' timestamp='1263497371' post='2037094']
I wasn't under the impression that going to a different priest for confession was a sin. You have a canonical right to an anonymous confession, and if for some reason you think your anonymity might be compromised you're well within your right to choose another priest.
[/quote]

Your motive could be sinful.

[Nunsense]

[quote name='HisChildForever' date='15 January 2010 - 06:35 AM' timestamp='1263497712' post='2037106']
Your motive could be sinful.
[/quote]


That's what I meant. What I was talking about was petty sins (nothing mortal) that make one "appear less" in the eyes of the priest who knows us, because we want him to think well of us. This is vanity, and going to another priest for this reason just felt like a sin to me, even though I could have rationalised it or justified in some way I am sure.

Perhaps if one had committed a grievous mortal sin and didn't want the priest to be able to identify them (even though they can't reveal anything anyway), then yes, everyone has the right to an anonymous confession. But when it is just so that the priest continues to think well of one, well, that's kind of sleezy in my mind, so I had to swallow my pride and not only make the confession, but also confess the vanity that was tempting me to hide the sins from him... the priest was great about it, and I don't think that this particular sin of vanity is going to have as much control over me now just because God gave me the grace to stand up to it. I actually find it embarrassing sometimes that I don't have any mortal sins to confess, because sometimes that makes me feel like I am being too scrupulous or "fanatical", but I know that I have a lot of little sins (including ones of omission) and that each and every sin is offensive to God, no matter how small. And since the whole point of Confession, to me, is to reconcile oneself completely with God by removing all that offends Him, then I figure that going on a regular basis is the best way for me to do this. I go every two weeks just because that is what we did in the convent, and it seems to be acceptable to my Confessor as well. Any more, and I probably would start to get scrupulous, and any less, and I would most likely forget all the little ways that I have offended Him and maybe even start to forget that I am a sinner in need of mercy. We are all different, so that is why I thought it would be interesting to see what everyone else does.

[sacredheartandbloodofjesus]

[quote name='nunsense' date='14 January 2010 - 05:25 PM' timestamp='1263507952' post='2037182']
That's what I meant. What I was talking about was petty sins (nothing mortal) that make one "appear less" in the eyes of the priest who knows us, because we want him to think well of us. This is vanity, and going to another priest for this reason just felt like a sin to me, even though I could have rationalised it or justified in some way I am sure.

Perhaps if one had committed a grievous mortal sin and didn't want the priest to be able to identify them (even though they can't reveal anything anyway), then yes, everyone has the right to an anonymous confession. But when it is just so that the priest continues to think well of one, well, that's kind of sleezy in my mind, so I had to swallow my pride and not only make the confession, but also confess the vanity that was tempting me to hide the sins from him... the priest was great about it, and I don't think that this particular sin of vanity is going to have as much control over me now just because God gave me the grace to stand up to it. I actually find it embarrassing sometimes that I don't have any mortal sins to confess, because sometimes that makes me feel like I am being too scrupulous or "fanatical", but I know that I have a lot of little sins (including ones of omission) and that each and every sin is offensive to God, no matter how small. And since the whole point of Confession, to me, is to reconcile oneself completely with God by removing all that offends Him, then I figure that going on a regular basis is the best way for me to do this. I go every two weeks just because that is what we did in the convent, and it seems to be acceptable to my Confessor as well. Any more, and I probably would start to get scrupulous, and any less, and I would most likely forget all the little ways that I have offended Him and maybe even start to forget that I am a sinner in need of mercy. We are all different, so that is why I thought it would be interesting to see what everyone else does.
[/quote]

nice post, out of plus ones though.

[brightsadness]

If I were home--in Illinois--I'd go every week. Living in Oregon, I go monthly as it's a 4 hour drive to the priest. I find the Byzantine/Eastern Rite ritual both healing and humbling. It helps me focus. I do go to the local Roman Rite priest if something comes up in between...usually stuff like holding anger or judging etc. The grace of the sacrament is such a gift.

[Maggyie]

I have a problem. I used to go to confession much more frequently, but I sin so much, all the time. Mortal sins. So I have questioned whether I really have firm purpose of amendment (it is the same two or three serious sins over and over again). Sometimes it seems like I am using confession like the "get out of Hell free" card mentioned above. Wash the dirt off just so I can go roll around in it some more. And I don't want to insult the sacrament... so I don't go... and so it turns into a couple months where I don't receive the Eucharist. Then I get my act together and go, and I am good for a week, maybe two. Then flushhhh all those good intentions down the drain. Rinse and repeat... so I probably go to Confession four or five times a year?

This is not a scrupulosity thing. This is about me involving myself in the occasion of sin, and when the opportunity presents itself I jump right in. I mean I don't come out of the Confessional saying "ah, that'll do me for a little while until I get the chance to have some more fun" - who would do that? When I say I'm sorry I really think I mean it. But at the same time when temptation presents itself it seems like I offer virtually NO resistance whatsoever. So am I really sorry at all?

Edited January 15, 2010 by Maggie

[Maggyie]

And I always try to go to a different priest if I can help it... I drive all around town. I hope it is not a sin. I am always pretty nervous going to confession and it helps to think that I never have to "see" this particular priest again if I don't want to...

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='Maggie' date='15 January 2010 - 02:09 AM' timestamp='1263535762' post='2037580']
And I always try to go to a different priest if I can help it... I drive all around town. I hope it is not a sin. I am always pretty nervous going to confession and it helps to think that I never have to "see" this particular priest again if I don't want to...
[/quote]

Perhaps it would be helpful to work with one confessor to overcome these particular sins?

I know from my own experience, my spiritual director has been able, slowly and over time, to help me overcome certain sins. By staying with one confessor, he will be able to know what advice he has given you in the past and can be in dialogue with you about how that particular advice helped or didn't help. Sometimes combating sin is a process. Priests are great spiritual guides, and with them and the grace of God found in the Sacrament, you [i]will[/i] be able to overcome this.

You don't have to fight this alone. There are graces in the Sacraments. Let the priest and God help you fight.

[BarbTherese]

I would probably go a few times each year, sometimes more. Whenever I think it is about time I went.
Although now I have shifted, going to Confession is not such a long way away both in distance and time and hope that once things settle down I will be able to go on a more regular basis.
Probably every couple of months.
Unless mortal sin (shudder!) means I should get there pronto!
Barb

[Saint Therese]

Once a week to once every two weeks.
Twice a year?

[Ed Normile]

Please explain, okay, How often do I think a person should go to confession? I chose other , its not really my business and it would depend on that person, how they acted and what they felt was sinful. How often do I go, I usually go once a month or so, lately its been weekly, this saturday I went for the first time in about 18 days. I have my own sins to deal with.
Do I purposely change confessors, at times I do, I know they are acting as Jesus in the confessional but with the advent of face to face confession which is mainly the norm these days it brings a more human aspect to it, I feel not so much embarrassed as I feel I have let the priest down, especially the priests who offer you advice like "I find making a sacrifice and asking God to save the grace from that sacrifice and use it to [i]stop you the next time you hunt down and kill someone who disagreed with your post on a forum board[/i]." well the last part was made up, heck I am not confessing here afterall, but you may see what I am saying. When confession was behind the screen it was easier to see the priest as hurt by your sin as Jesus would be, yet forgiving you still as Jesus would do.

ed

[Ed Normile]

[quote name='Maggie' date='15 January 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1263535499' post='2037578']
I have a problem. I used to go to confession much more frequently, but I sin so much, all the time. Mortal sins. So I have questioned whether I really have firm purpose of amendment (it is the same two or three serious sins over and over again). Sometimes it seems like I am using confession like the "get out of Hell free" card mentioned above. Wash the dirt off just so I can go roll around in it some more. And I don't want to insult the sacrament... so I don't go... and so it turns into a couple months where I don't receive the Eucharist. Then I get my act together and go, and I am good for a week, maybe two. Then flushhhh all those good intentions down the drain. Rinse and repeat... so I probably go to Confession four or five times a year?

This is not a scrupulosity thing. This is about me involving myself in the occasion of sin, and when the opportunity presents itself I jump right in. I mean I don't come out of the Confessional saying "ah, that'll do me for a little while until I get the chance to have some more fun" - who would do that? When I say I'm sorry I really think I mean it. But at the same time when temptation presents itself it seems like I offer virtually NO resistance whatsoever. So am I really sorry at all?
[/quote]

Yeah you are sorry, you are also human, prone to human weakness. Peter never thought he would deny Christ thrice, he even told him so. God made us and knows we are weak, we can not all be saints, but we all can be pleasing to God.

ed

[Ed Normile]

Just some fuel for the fire, there are many posts here, and I have not read them all, which talk of mortal sin, as we all know mortal sin is any grave sin, that is, any sin which breaks the ten commandments, lies are mortal sins, does that preclude so called "white lies" or lies in business or for that matter lies which are meant to spare ones feelings like no you do not look fat in that when the opposite is truth, of course murder and stealing are mortal sins, and not honoring your mother and father is too, does this mean that if we fail to take out the trash, or ignore their wishes to clean up our room or change our appearance we are commiting a mortal sin? Coveting is a sin, is it not covetous to look at a member of the opposite sex in a sexual manner, what about the Tv and theatre we watch with inappropriate scenes, do we not covet others possesions at times, are we not placing others gods before the true God when we chase after possesions or acceptance by peers? Is it not a mortal sin not to love our neighbor as we love ourslves, calumny, or repeating something that will harm someones reputation , even though it is truth is a grave sin. How often should we go to confession?

ed

[Nunsense]

[quote name='Ed Normile' date='17 January 2010 - 07:14 PM' timestamp='1263716060' post='2039028']
Please explain, okay, How often do I think a person should go to confession? I chose other , its not really my business and it would depend on that person, how they acted and what they felt was sinful. How often do I go, I usually go once a month or so, lately its been weekly, this saturday I went for the first time in about 18 days. I have my own sins to deal with.
Do I purposely change confessors, at times I do, I know they are acting as Jesus in the confessional but with the advent of face to face confession which is mainly the norm these days it brings a more human aspect to it, I feel not so much embarrassed as I feel I have let the priest down, especially the priests who offer you advice like "I find making a sacrifice and asking God to save the grace from that sacrifice and use it to [i]stop you the next time you hunt down and kill someone who disagreed with your post on a forum board[/i]." well the last part was made up, heck I am not confessing here afterall, but you may see what I am saying. When confession was behind the screen it was easier to see the priest as hurt by your sin as Jesus would be, yet forgiving you still as Jesus would do.

ed
[/quote]


It is interesting that you say that about face to face because sometimes I would like to be face to face, but I attend the EF (Latin Mass) and we have the traditional dark booth with the little grilled window that is covered with a curtain, so we don't see our priest, just hear his voice. And we have to be quiet because Confession is often done during Mass (yeah, the EF is different) and we don't want anyone else to hear us, or to disturb the Mass.

I find it harder to confess to this invisible guy in a whisper than to someone I can see in flesh and blood, especially since there is no anonymity for me anyway. I have an American accent in a country of Australians, and my voice is very distinctive, so the priest knows who I am anyway, so face to face would be ok for me. I think though that I might talk too much during face to face, because when I used to do this, I would sometimes make it more like spiritual direction than confession, and that's not what it is all about, I know. And if I did do it face to face, I might focus too much on the priest and forget that I am confessing my sins to God.

In the end, it doesn't really matter of course, because the whole point is to confess one's sins and be reconciled to God and this can be done either in the little black box or face to face... I am just so amazed at this Sacrament though, and how wonderful it is! Sometimes I am not even aware of what is going to come out of me in the confessional. I prepare myself beforehand but when I get there and say "Bless me father, for I have sinned.", it is just something else, and I feel as if I am there with God and things get pulled out of me that I had no intention of saying! Or at least didn't realize that I was going to say. And after absolution, there is a change in me, but I don't understand what it is, but I can't deny it. It's like receiving Communion - life changing every time, but never the same experience, and sometimes an invisible change. It sounds ridiculous I know, but sometimes I am just so impressed with God!

[Nunsense]

[quote name='Ed Normile' date='17 January 2010 - 07:38 PM' timestamp='1263717504' post='2039034']
Just some fuel for the fire, there are many posts here, and I have not read them all, which talk of mortal sin, as we all know mortal sin is any grave sin, that is, any sin which breaks the ten commandments, lies are mortal sins, does that preclude so called "white lies" or lies in business or for that matter lies which are meant to spare ones feelings like no you do not look fat in that when the opposite is truth, of course murder and stealing are mortal sins, and not honoring your mother and father is too, does this mean that if we fail to take out the trash, or ignore their wishes to clean up our room or change our appearance we are commiting a mortal sin? Coveting is a sin, is it not covetous to look at a member of the opposite sex in a sexual manner, what about the Tv and theatre we watch with inappropriate scenes, do we not covet others possesions at times, are we not placing others gods before the true God when we chase after possesions or acceptance by peers? Is it not a mortal sin not to love our neighbor as we love ourslves, calumny, or repeating something that will harm someones reputation , even though it is truth is a grave sin. How often should we go to confession?

ed
[/quote]

Ed - there is another thread on mortal sin in Transmundane Lane phorum that goes into this in more detail. You might want to read there.

[Ed Normile]

Another thought, the get out of hell free card is not confession, rather it is baptism which gives you the right to get into purgatory.

ed

[Maggyie]

[quote name='Ed Normile' date='17 January 2010 - 04:44 AM' timestamp='1263717856' post='2039038']
Another thought, the get out of hell free card is not confession, rather it is baptism which gives you the right to get into purgatory.

ed
[/quote]

Good point