Kids If You Need Help, Ask For It

[CatherineM]

I lost my 21 year old nephew a couple of months ago. They couldn't figure out what he had died of originally, and said they'd have to wait on the toxicology report. I'm not stupid. I figured he died of an overdose. I found out this evening that the official cause of death was suicide. He had apparently been depressed for months, but didn't want to ask for help. His girlfriend said it was the stupid prejudice against mental illness common in places like Oklahoma.

I don't want to make this a debate about people who commit suicide going straight to hell. I'd like this to be encouragement for you guys who are depressed to seek help, take your meds, and reach out for help before losing hope. Life is so precious, don't miss a minute of the gift God has given us.

[sidemunch88]

[quote name='CatherineM' date='15 January 2010 - 03:09 AM' timestamp='1263539391' post='2037607']
I lost my 21 year old nephew a couple of months ago. They couldn't figure out what he had died of originally, and said they'd have to wait on the toxicology report. I'm not stupid. I figured he died of an overdose. I found out this evening that the official cause of death was suicide. He had apparently been depressed for months, but didn't want to ask for help. His girlfriend said it was the stupid prejudice against mental illness common in places like Oklahoma.

I don't want to make this a debate about people who commit suicide going straight to hell. I'd like this to be encouragement for you guys who are depressed to seek help, take your meds, and reach out for help before losing hope. Life is so precious, don't miss a minute of the gift God has given us.
[/quote]
I have found in the military a lot of people don't want to tell any one about being depressed. Some people think it will make them weaker looking. Plus we can have our security clearances taken away.
I know i have had thoughts of suicide on this deployment and never told any about it. But i only have a little while and i am out of here.

[Anastasia13]

[quote name='pvtmiller' date='15 January 2010 - 12:41 AM' timestamp='1263541265' post='2037614']
I have found in the military a lot of people don't want to tell any one about being depressed. Some people think it will make them weaker looking. Plus we can have our security clearances taken away.
I know i have had thoughts of suicide on this deployment and never told any about it. But i only have a little while and i am out of here.
[/quote]
Thank you for serving in the military. I hope you make it back home safe and sound.

[Anastasia13]

pvtmiller, thank you for serving in the military. I hope you make it back home safe and sound.

And alright, Cathrine.

[Azriel]

We never tell people with cancer or diabetes to "just get over it", but we are quick to tell people with mental illness' to just "have more faith" or "snap out of it".

The one thing I am eternally grateful for, that even in the depths of despair, I've never had suicidal thoughts. Too afraid to die. There seems to be such a plethora of people right now that are open and honestly talking about mental health. This gives me some hope that I, too, will make it through to the other side.

And pvtmiller - God Bless you, and prayers for your safe return.

[Archaeology cat]

[quote name='Azriel' date='15 January 2010 - 07:31 PM' timestamp='1263583872' post='2037820']
We never tell people with cancer or diabetes to "just get over it", but we are quick to tell people with mental illness' to just "have more faith" or "snap out of it".
[/quote]
Nor do most people tell those with such a disease that them having it is a sign of weakness, which, unfortunately, some seem to treat anxiety and depression as signs of weakness.

[tinytherese]

Speaking as someone who has a severe case of depression, my family and I are truly thankful that I had the guts to seek counseling, be honest with my therapist about my depression, cooperate with the hospital that I was at, and take my medication daily. I didn't see why I shouldn't behave and cooperate. They were only trying to help me and putting up a fight would just make everything harder. I know that my life is a easier because of it. It will certainly take me time to heal, but I'm glad that I got help when I did. It really is more common than some people like to admit and there is nothing to be ashamed of. We also need to keep in mind that medical conditions are regarded as MEDICAL PROBLEMS. You need a doctor to subscribe you medicine to get better and your medical insurance helps ease the cost afterall.

Getting help from the right people really does make a difference. I was blessed with a very good hospital and staff working there. The hospital set up was even really nice. We had a t.v., movie nights, snacks such as popcorn, a living area where we could hang out, play pool, they provided art supplies and books for us as well. We even had windows so that we could see what was going on outside and they even took us outside on this deck area on a sunny day. It was very refreshing. The hospital where I was treated was closer to my college in another state. I came back home and my mom who is a lawyer, told me that she had clients in the mental health unit were in a horrible environment. She said that pacients were basically confided to their rooms. I was horrified! Not only that, but my mom had been in the section where adolscents and children were and they didn't have anything for them. The thought of them being cooped up in their rooms with no toys or any other things to entertain them and keep them occupied is terrible. How are they supposed to get better that way? People need to get their minds off of their troubles at times instead of being bored and probably ruminating on what bad things could happen to them.

I also know how it can be when people make judgments about you if you have depression. I hate it when people claim that if you have a mental illness that that shows you just don't trust in God enough. Believe me, my faith is what has helped me along the way during this difficult time. Without it, I would be even worse. I really need God during this time to comfort, inspire, and give me strength.

I've had a hard time finding people of faith to help me during this time. I had a horrifying experience in my Bible study. Our leader who was a student had us read this particular passage and she asked us, "So what keeps us from killing ourselves?" I realize that she probably was just phrasing it wrong, that she meant, "What keeps us going during the hard times from giving up?" but I still felt really offended. I spoke up, pointing out that we had to keep in mind that many people who commit suicide are those who suffer from depression and that this plays a factor in making this decision. Another girl responded that research has found otherwise. Then our leader said that it looked like it was just seen as an easy way out. She admitted that she really didn't know, but I still felt upset. I mean, there is a certain level of truth to that, but depression is more complex. So I didn't return to that student run Bible study again. Depression is a heck of a lot more than mere laziness or a lack of motivation. People going through mental illnesses want compassion, love, and support during this time. We are just as human as everyone else and desire to be treated that way.

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='tinytherese' date='15 January 2010 - 03:45 PM' timestamp='1263588348' post='2037859']
People going through mental illnesses want compassion, love, and support during this time. We are just as human as everyone else and desire to be treated that way.
[/quote]
RIGHT.ON!

I have been struggling with mild to severe depression, and had a major emotional breakdown in 2008. I don't know what causes my depression, all I know is that it is difficult to go through when others around me do not understand it. And sometimes I find myself needing support, but I lose friends in the process because they can't understand how to cope with me...

[Happy_Catholic]

Mental illnesses have their roots in a physically real chemical imbalance. They are just as real as an insulin imbalance.

A few years ago in NZL one of our greatest Rugby players came out and admitted he had serious depression, from him came a flow of other well knowns pubically sharing their struggles. There was then a sudden rise in men seeking assistance for depression and mental illness.

It saddens me that some people won't ask for help because of the stigma, and its quite disheartening that a lot of bigotry comes from the medical and nursing profession. The amount of times I've seen patients with a history of mental illness being given "watches" or "specials" when they've fully recovered is really quite shocking, or when nurses and doctors refuse to assist or even acknowledge the mental illness.

As way of Hell goes, I don't think people with mental illness who take their own lives go to Hell. As I said mental illness is a real disorder, God wouldn't send you to Hell if you broke your leg and couldn't get help and ended up dying of blood loss. I don't think He'd send someone to hell who couldn't get help, or effective help for a very real disorder.

As someone who has lost friends to suicide, my empathy, prayers and condolences to you and your family, CatherineM.

[Domine ut Videam]

As a twenty year old college student recently struggling with depression and diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder the struggle of trying to appear 'normal' can be quite overwhelming. In the past (high school) when struggling with these same issues I was blessed to never have a concrete plan for suicide but did suffer from suicidal ideation's.

I am coming to accept that mental illness is real illness and not simply a sign of weakness in myself. To all those suffering from any mental disorder don't underestimate the strength of social support as an aid. No one should have to suffer alone an isolation will only make most mental illnesses more powerful.

CatherineM, thanks for the reminder to constantly seek out help. It is nice to know that there are many people supporting us in this journey.
-------------------------------------------------------
Along these same lines, it seems that in the past year the amount of people that I've known who suffer from a mental illness has doubled if not even greater than that. Are more people being diagnosed with mental illnesses, or are we simply being more open about them?


Under Mary's Mantle,
Lauren

[lost_in_this_world]

sometimes its not that easy to just tell someone....

[Anastasia13]

[quote name='Azriel' date='15 January 2010 - 12:31 PM' timestamp='1263583872' post='2037820']
We never tell people with cancer or diabetes to "just get over it", but we are quick to tell people with mental illness' to just "have more faith" or "snap out of it".

The one thing I am eternally grateful for, that even in the depths of despair, I've never had suicidal thoughts. Too afraid to die. There seems to be such a plethora of people right now that are open and honestly talking about mental health. This gives me some hope that I, too, will make it through to the other side.

And pvtmiller - God Bless you, and prayers for your safe return.
[/quote]
I reall wish I could remember who did this one skit but this reminds me of something I heard on a comedy clip online. It was about how people treat others with depression, but it was funny the way she pointed out that we would never just tell someone with a broken bone to get over it, life's hard, go walk it off, etc.

[MissyP89]

[quote name='pvtmiller' date='15 January 2010 - 02:41 AM' timestamp='1263541265' post='2037614']
I have found in the military a lot of people don't want to tell any one about being depressed. Some people think it will make them weaker looking. Plus we can have our security clearances taken away.
[/quote]

The whole thing with security clearances is ridiculous. I could go on forever about it. People I love are forced to suffer and never seek help because of it. The system is--forgive my pun--insane.

That all said, God bless you for your service. Come home soon. *hug*

[sidemunch88]

[quote name='MissyP89' date='16 January 2010 - 02:07 AM' timestamp='1263622064' post='2038261']
The whole thing with security clearances is ridiculous. I could go on forever about it. People I love are forced to suffer and never seek help because of it. The system is--forgive my pun--insane.

That all said, God bless you for your service. Come home soon. *hug*
[/quote]
I have not had to much trouble with it. Just this deployment i felt so isolated and alone. I broke up with my girlfriend at home when i went home on leave and that was the hardest thing to do. Thats when i really started to feel depressed. I just felt like nobody understood me when i got back home. I mean people thanked me and stuff. I guess i just look at america with different eyes now. Seeing how bad it is for people live in different countries.

[organwerke]

I think I would never told this, if I hadn't read this thread.

In my adolescence I have suffered from a mental illness for some years.
Actually, I didn't realize that I was ill so I tried to manage by myself the "strange thoughts" I had in my mind and for some years I didn't go to any doctor. It was really hard, to tell the truth, but, strangely enough, I learned to hide these problems so well that almost nobody never noticed them.
But, as you can imagine, the problems got worse and at last became almost impossible.
Well, it happened that I started to distort completely the reality (I had obsessions and also hallucinations) and I also attempted suicide.
I have to say that I didn't really want to die, but it was as if a "voice" told me that I had to kill myself if I didn't want to ruine my family and so on...
I can say that if I hadn't lived these situations myself, I would had never believed that a person could have so little control upon his own thoughts and actions! When I finally returned to have my lucidity I was almost shocked thinking to the ideas I had without being conscious of them!
Of course, at that point my family and other friends realized that I had serious disturbs and forced me to go to a doctor.
After some months that I've been coming to a doctor I finally started to feel better...but I was really sad when I heard that a my friend's father committed suicide.
I knew him quite well and I knew that he too had serious problems of depression.
This fact almost threw me in despair because I was terribly sad at the thought that he had died while I was still alive, and I also had the fear that he could have damned himself.
Well, when I was praying with these very sad feelings it happened that the Lord "reassured" me that this person was in His peace. I can't explain how this happened, but I can say that it wasn't a mere imagination, on the contrary I think it was one of the greatest grace I've ever received in my life, since it was followed by an immense peace that I can also nowadays feel every time that I think of it.
Very few persons know this fact of my life (well, I think almost nobody), but I wanted to tell it now because I think it could bring peace and relief to those persons who have lost some friends or relatives for suicide.
Of course every one would like to avoid these really sad deaths, and if we know someone who is struggling, we try to cure him and to pay attention that he can't do harm to himself.
But, as for every other illness that we try to cure but we can't to, we must think that these unlucky persons receive God's Mercy and die in His peace.