Online Dating

[Shpout]

just wondering what everyone thinks about online dating sites, pros and cons?
I thought about it once or twice, but never tried, don't know that I want to either, seems desperate to me, what do you think?

[Jesus_lol]

[quote name='Shpout' date='17 March 2010 - 07:50 PM' timestamp='1268880620' post='2074949']
just wondering what everyone thinks about online dating sites, pros and cons?
I thought about it once or twice, but never tried, don't know that I want to either, seems desperate to me, what do you think?
[/quote]

Working out for me pretty well so far, though i found her here, not at a online dating site. I wasnt looking, i just got lucky

[rizz_loves_jesus]

I've never done it and I'd probably never do it... I'd be too paranoid that I'd meet some creeper online who would stalk/rape me. But I guess that's just me.

[CatherineM]

Ave Maria Singles brought my husband and I together, so I'd say I'm positive on that site certainly. The difference is that it isn't a dating site really. It is supposed to be for people who have discerned that the vocation of marriage is for them, and they are searching for potential spouses, not dates.

[Shpout]

[quote name='Jesus_lol' date='17 March 2010 - 09:57 PM' timestamp='1268881061' post='2074952']
Working out for me pretty well so far, though i found her here, not at a online dating site. I wasnt looking, i just got lucky
[/quote]
Lucky you!

[quote name='rizz_loves_jesus' date='17 March 2010 - 10:23 PM' timestamp='1268882604' post='2074962']
I've never done it and I'd probably never do it... I'd be too paranoid that I'd meet some creeper online who would stalk/rape me. But I guess that's just me.
[/quote]
Yea i m feeling a bit paranoid for sure, and it seems so 'compter' time consuming

[quote name='CatherineM' date='17 March 2010 - 10:29 PM' timestamp='1268882958' post='2074975']
Ave Maria Singles brought my husband and I together, so I'd say I'm positive on that site certainly. The difference is that it isn't a dating site really. It is supposed to be for people who have discerned that the vocation of marriage is for them, and they are searching for potential spouses, not dates.
[/quote]
I have heard of Ave Maria singles, and heard many great stories... i need to save $ though... glad to hear it worked for you guys!

[tinytherese]

Terra Firma started a thread where she and other Pmer's gave tips for meeting people online with caution.

http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/index.php?showtopic=96244&view=&hl=Meeting%20People%20Online&fromsearch=1

[KeenanParkerII]

Not sure I'm down with it. It's hard to get an accurate picture of someone unless you see them in real life. It works for some people though.

[Tony]

some folks have met on this here forum.. then got married.. just saying

Edited March 18, 2010 by Tony

[Jesus_lol]

[quote name='KeenanParkerII' date='17 March 2010 - 09:45 PM' timestamp='1268887511' post='2075025']
Not sure I'm down with it. It's hard to get an accurate picture of someone unless you see them in real life. It works for some people though.
[/quote]

you would be surprised(i was too) after talking to christie_m for over a year over internet and considering ourselves a couple for about 10 months we met, and there was zero awkwardness, no real surprises personality wise, it was almost like meeting a lifelong friend i hadnt seen in a little while. not a stranger at all.

i had my doubts before that of course, but it worked out better than i ever thought it could, so keep that in mind

[CatherineM]

[quote name='Shpout' date='17 March 2010 - 11:37 PM' timestamp='1268887061' post='2075022']

I have heard of Ave Maria singles, and heard many great stories... i need to save $ though... glad to hear it worked for you guys!
[/quote]
When I joined, they gave me a scholarship for half off. I think I paid $49. You just have to ask for it. What I liked is that it was a one time fee so that you don't have to feel like you have to rush.

[Socrates]

I met my fiancee (just over a month to go!)on Ave Maria Singles, for whatever that's worth.

"Online dating" does work for a lot of people, though there's no guarantee (it took me years of no luck). Personally, I don't think it's any more "desperate" than trying to pick up random chicks (or in your case, random dudes) in bars. If you're worried about what other people will think or say about how you met, your priorities are probably in the wrong place.
I'd recommend it as an option, but don't give up opportunities to meet people face-to-face either.
"Online dating" should simply be another tool to facilitate face-to-face "real life" dates.

An advantage of using sites like Ave Maria is that you can know about someone's beliefs, values, and interests before actually dating.
Just exercise common sense. You may meet your share of losers, or those not really interested/committed, before you find "the one," but that's true of people you meet in "real life" as well.

Edited March 18, 2010 by Socrates

[HisChildForever]

I see nothing wrong with a safe dating site, because you intend to find someone to date in "the real world." That is, you are not looking for an online relationship but a real, committed one. Some people have an "internet boyfriend" or "internet girlfriend" which is just bizarre. Of course, people who have a long distance relationship rely on the computer for communication, but that isn't what I'm talking about.

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Shpout' date='17 March 2010 - 11:50 PM' timestamp='1268880620' post='2074949']
just wondering what everyone thinks about online dating sites, pros and cons?
I thought about it once or twice, but never tried, don't know that I want to either, seems desperate to me, what do you think?
[/quote]

Then you'd better stay far away from this place...

Just sayin'

[Shpout]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' date='18 March 2010 - 07:55 PM' timestamp='1268960124' post='2075428']
Then you'd better stay far away from this place...

Just sayin'
[/quote]
What do you mean?

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Shpout' date='18 March 2010 - 11:33 PM' timestamp='1268966037' post='2075476']
What do you mean?
[/quote]

There have been a couple of couples over the years that I think originally met through phatmass... but I'm not familiar with the whole story. I want to say one of them had an engagement announcement last summer.

Edited March 19, 2010 by LouisvilleFan

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='LouisvilleFan' date='19 March 2010 - 05:48 PM' timestamp='1269038909' post='2075981']
There have been a couple of couples over the years that I think originally met through phatmass... but I'm not familiar with the whole story. I want to say one of them had an engagement announcement last summer.
[/quote]
One such couple is married now.

[MissyP89]

It's more than two, actually.

As for me, I'm on the pro side, but that comes from a three-year relationship with a wonderful Phatmasser I met elsewhere on the web. We went our separate ways but still maintain the friendship, so as long as you're safe about it, why not?

[Winchester]

I met my wife in a pub.

[tinytherese]

People just really need to use their heads and be careful when meeting people online. I really don't think that minors should be doing online dating. In fact, if you do it should really be when you're old enough to be seeking a potential spouse.

I watched this 20/20 episode earlier tonight about online dating and that was just freaky. This 46 year old man went to this game site which had a chatroom for teens and he started to talk to this one 18 year old girl. He pretended to be 18 as well and when it came to showing pictures, he showed old ones of him in his younger days. He was really just a man with two kids and a wife who had an unsatisfying marriage and what he saw as a boring job. He found that taking up the new identity was his "escape" from real life and he designed himself to be everything that he wanted to be in life (younger, richer, stronger, etc.) So they chatted long into the night for hours. They flirted and had online sex. They contacted each other by phone too and he even proposed to her on the computer. (She said yes. Am I the only one who would definitely not get into an engagement with someone I had never met in person? ) Anyway, the man's wife noticed how much time he spent online and found out about her. She sent a letter to her telling her the real story. The girl contacted the guy and called him a liar. She contacted someone that he knew and asked him if what was said in the letter was true. He confirmed it and apparentally she started being his "online girlfriend" for revenge.

He found out about it and got jealous. He still talked to her. Either she would be mad at him for lying to her or she would claim that she wanted him back. She stopped doing that after a while and went back to the new younger 22 year old guy. She would also warn other teens in that chatroom, telling them who he really was and that he was a predator. He was ticked off by this. He would angrily speak to her and the 22 year old guy was one of his co-workers so he threatened him at work. Eventually he killed his co-worker and was put behind bars for it. The police found out that the girl behind this whole story was in fact middle aged herself and had used her daughter's pictures to tempt him. Yuck! They told him and he was shocked. He hadn't picked up any sign that she was deceiving him. Now he claims that he didn't murder his co-worker and blames the woman for it. I realize that she definitely played a part in it, but please he was still the one who chose to do what he did. He just had a hard time separating reality from fantasy.

[Christie_M]

That is bizarre, TinyTherese.

Shpout, it really depends on what you want in a relationship. Are you looking to just "date" or are you looking to get into a real, life committing relationship with a spouse? Online dating from good sites (like AveMaria and Catholic singles, and a few others) can get you some great results for a potential spouse, as some members on here have stated already.
and I really don't see it as desperate at all. It's really just another way to find someone, and like Socrates said, have more opportunities to meet people face to face. Who knows? maybe your "someone" could live on the other side of the country and you may not have found out until you signed up! God works in mysterious ways
You also have to keep in mind how much you're willing to put into a relationship, especially if it's long distance. Besides the normal time you would set aside for your boyfriend, you would also have to consider travel expenses, amongst other things, if your date was a bit farther away then on the other side of town.
Just some food for thought.