How Do You Know Which Charism?

[OnlySunshine]

This is something that has me quite stumped. There are so many charisms/spiritualities available and I don't know how anyone knows what charism they feel called to. For me, I guess the Dominican spirituality is the most attractive because of their intense devotion to Mary and they're called to preach the Truth like St. Dominic did during the time of the Albigensian Heresy. For me, I know I am not called to be a teacher, which most Dominicans are unless they are nuns. There are only a few like the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne that do not teach. But I am not 100% certain I am called to the Dominican charism.

My question is, for those who are certain of their spiritual calling:

What lead you to it and how did you know for certain? Was it a prayer style or something else?

[Thomist-in-Training]

I made like a 270 degree switch! So it is definitely possible to be UTTERLY convinced of one thing and find out a year later you have a vocation to a different religious family! That's what [i]I[/i] know.

So yeah. Unless you are someone who has been a scholar of religious life for years, it's probably natural to learn about certain things as you read about X that you imagine to be part of X charism, that are really just an important part of religious life in general. Or of a certain broad 'subgroup' of orders (cf. the useful maxim someone posted here long ago that the Carmelites and Poor Clares are more like each other than they are like the other Orders. And the Franciscans and Dominicans are more like each other than they are like the Benedictines. Etc.)

Actually devotion to Mary was one of the things I liked about the Dominicans once I had begun being convinced it was my once-and-for-all thing, that I later found in other places as well. That's a good example of something that you find in nearly [b]every [/b]great Order with its own flavor in each. Benedictines I would say seem to be much less so (depending on the particular abbey); but the Carmelites are officially the 'Order of the Blessed Virgin of Mount Carmel' so she is certainly important to them! And many other orders are very Marian too in their horarium and customs. So that's an example.

I sort of looked at a list, and decided Dominican spirituality seemed to suit me, and read more about it and loved it more, and figured that meant I had a Dominican vocation. Then God pointedly introduced me to a non-OP community (more than once! Guess I'm pretty dumb!) and it didn't hit me then, but months later I suddenly felt that I would be happy there. And it has really been all His choice and not mine, which is the way I would have wanted it to be if I had really thought about it earlier. But I just figured that the Dominican attraction was a proof that it was "the one." In some cases, this probably [i]is[/i] true. For me it hasn't been and Our Lord clearly indicated it to me by closing the Dominican door, in a way that was at first a bit disappointing but immediately afterwards gave me great peace. The only answer as time went on was prayer and serious openness (which did involve tears! "You said WHAT Lord?") and novenas in fact. Trying to figure it out with my brain did [i]not [/i]work. The same went by the way for active vs. contemplative.

So stick with the devotion to Mary as a golden thread and start developing that [b]now[/b]. As was mentioned in Bennn's thread, Our Lady will gently walk you through everything with her motherly care and help you get to the the 'final destination' where you can have the life that God wants for you!

Edited May 28, 2010 by Thomist-in-Training

[OnlySunshine]

I agree that one can be certain and then change. That's why I am not 100% on the Dominican charism because I thought I was called to the Franciscans! Everything about the life of St. Francis and St. Clare resonated within me but it wasn't until I visited a Franciscan community in January that I began to see that I did not share their spirituality at all. It was beautiful, no doubt, but their main tenant of their apostolate was evangelization and working with youth. I feel called to nursing and while there are Franciscan nursing orders like the Daughters of St. Francis, I have no attraction to them. I am keeping my options open to whatever God wants. I figure if I visit one nursing community and it isn't the one, I will visit the next, and the next, etc. until I find THE one, or until God tells me that I'm looking for the wrong things. I have also thought about visiting a Visitation monastery because I am somewhat attracted to their life (not as much as the Dominicans, but enough to make me curious to visit).

[i]Father, I abandon myself into Your hands;
Do with me whatever You will.
Whatever You may do, I thank You.
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only Your will be done in me,
And in all Your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into Your hands I commend my spirit;
I offer it to You, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into Your hands,
Without reserve and with boundless confidence,
For You are my Father.

Amen.[/i]

[Thomist-in-Training]

[quote]evangelization and working with youth[/quote]

this isn't really a general Franciscan "thing" except insofar as like the Dominicans the Franciscan friars are by nature preachers, which you might also call evangelization. But working with youth isn't really a "spirituality" issue nor is it something general to all Franciscans. To me Franciscan spirituality is pretty much 'nuts and bolts' old-style parish Catholic devotion, to Our Lady, the Real Presence in the Blessed Sacrament, to Christ Crucified, perhaps with special attention to humility, which is expressed corporally by poverty that famous Franciscan attribute. Passionist spirituality for example on the other hand might be more "specialized" although of course devotion to the Passion is important to every Christian.

But I don't know every Franciscan, Franciscanism is really in a lot of different fragments which are not a monolith, so it is rather hard to generalize as I see it. That's how it seems to me though.

[Thomist-in-Training]

Wow, I was a little ungenerous with the commas, wasn't I. Here are some extras: , , , , , .

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Thomist-in-Training' date='27 May 2010 - 10:27 PM' timestamp='1275013659' post='2119497']
this isn't really a general Franciscan "thing" except insofar as like the Dominicans the Franciscan friars are by nature preachers, which you might also call evangelization. But working with youth isn't really a "spirituality" issue nor is it something general to all Franciscans. To me Franciscan spirituality is pretty much 'nuts and bolts' old-style parish Catholic devotion, to Our Lady, the Real Presence in the Blessed Sacrament, to Christ Crucified, perhaps with special attention to humility, which is expressed corporally by poverty that famous Franciscan attribute. Passionist spirituality for example on the other hand might be more "specialized" although of course devotion to the Passion is important to every Christian.

But I don't know every Franciscan, Franciscanism is really in a lot of different fragments which are not a monolith, so it is rather hard to generalize as I see it. That's how it seems to me though.
[/quote]

I realize that the one Franciscan community's apostolate is not going to be the same in every Franciscan community, but it was the only Franciscan community I felt an attraction to and I looked at dozens, including:

Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration
Sisters of the Third Order of St. Francis
Daughters of St. Francis
and many more...

I don't like the idea of pigeonholing my discernment into one apostolate (i.e. nursing) because I know the apostolate is not the main thing. I've heard it said by many vocation directors I've spoken to that 'you don't become a nun to be a nurse/teacher/etc.' You become a nun to serve God, first and foremost. The way they've explained it to me helps me understand that the apostolate is a 'call to serve God in a special way based on the founder(s)'s original idea.' I know 100%, however, that I am not called to teach. I don't have the patience or the gift to teach others. I envy those who do in a Godly way.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Thomist-in-Training' date='27 May 2010 - 10:28 PM' timestamp='1275013731' post='2119498']
Wow, I was a little ungenerous with the commas, wasn't I. Here are some extras: , , , , , .
[/quote]

[MissScripture]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='27 May 2010 - 10:40 PM' timestamp='1275014454' post='2119502']
I realize that the one Franciscan community's apostolate is not going to be the same in every Franciscan community, but it was the only Franciscan community I felt an attraction to and I looked at dozens, including:

Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration
Sisters of the Third Order of St. Francis
Daughters of St. Francis
and many more...

I don't like the idea of pigeonholing my discernment into one apostolate (i.e. nursing) because I know the apostolate is not the main thing. I've heard it said by many vocation directors I've spoken to that 'you don't become a nun to be a nurse/teacher/etc.' You become a nun to serve God, first and foremost. The way they've explained it to me helps me understand that the apostolate is a 'call to serve God in a special way based on the founder(s)'s original idea.' I know 100%, however, that I am not called to teach. I don't have the patience or the gift to teach others. I envy those who do in a Godly way.
[/quote]

For what it's worth, my little sister is entering the Dominicans this fall, and up until recently she was pretty sure that she wanted to be a nurse. Her freshman year of high school, she decided that she really wanted to be a nurse, and at that point, if you told her she would be a teacher, she would've laughed at you. Even when she started getting interested in the Dominicans, she was "plotting" ways that she could be both a nurse and a Dominican sister. Over the past year, she became okay with being a teacher, and finally arrived at being excited to be a teacher, and she no longer had any desire to be a nurse. So, moral of the story: You may not be called to be a teacher, but you may not be called to be a nurse either, and you may not know it until you find out where you're called to be. I hope that helps a little.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='MissScripture' date='27 May 2010 - 11:57 PM' timestamp='1275019049' post='2119545']
For what it's worth, my little sister is entering the Dominicans this fall, and up until recently she was pretty sure that she wanted to be a nurse. Her freshman year of high school, she decided that she really wanted to be a nurse, and at that point, if you told her she would be a teacher, she would've laughed at you. Even when she started getting interested in the Dominicans, she was "plotting" ways that she could be both a nurse and a Dominican sister. Over the past year, she became okay with being a teacher, and finally arrived at being excited to be a teacher, and she no longer had any desire to be a nurse. So, moral of the story: You may not be called to be a teacher, but you may not be called to be a nurse either, and you may not know it until you find out where you're called to be. I hope that helps a little.
[/quote]

God has quite an imagination, huh? LOL! Like I said, I am open to His will, even if it means doing something I don't necessary like.

[JTheresa]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' date='27 May 2010 - 09:52 PM' timestamp='1275011569' post='2119481']
This is something that has me quite stumped. There are so many charisms/spiritualities available and I don't know how anyone knows what charism they feel called to. For me, I guess the Dominican spirituality is the most attractive because of their intense devotion to Mary and they're called to preach the Truth like St. Dominic did during the time of the Albigensian Heresy. For me, I know I am not called to be a teacher, which most Dominicans are unless they are nuns. There are only a few like the Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne that do not teach. But I am not 100% certain I am called to the Dominican charism.

My question is, for those who are certain of their spiritual calling:

What lead you to it and how did you know for certain? Was it a prayer style or something else?
[/quote]

Well, for me, I wasn't sure at first, so I prayed about it. But the more I learned about the Dominicans, the more I fell in love with them. They are so COOL!!! I Love them!! But I didn't feel at peace with that. On the other hand, I knew this great community of Franciscans that were really nice and that I had heard a lot about. I loved their particular charism, but I did NOT want to be a Franciscan. I'm not quite sure why, but growing up I was exposed to the stereotype that Franciscans were kinda wishy washy, more of a "whatever floats your boat" partying sorta people. To me, their zeal didn't come close to that of the Dominicans. But, the more I prayed and looked into the Franciscan way of prayer and spirituality, the more I realized how much of it corollated with what I already did and thought!! I decided to give the Dominicans a chance too, and went to a retreat with the DSMMEs in Ann Arbor. I talked with the vocation director about my problem, and pretty much told me that I was a Franciscan. And, because I knew she was a learned Dominican, believed her and gave in. The discovering process took a lot of knowledge of who I [i]actually[/i] was, not who I wanted to be or which charism or order I admired the most. Then, reading about each Saint's ( Francis and Dominic's ) life and seeing which one reflected me most. The part that tore me was that I love theology and learning about God. And since Dominicans focus a lot on learning, I would fit there, right? Then I read about Saint Anthony and Saint Bonaventure, and that made it a lot easier to accept that I'm Franciscan. Even now that I'm pretty certain (due to much prayer) there will always be some sort of confusion; that's what the Devil is after. The less he can get you to trust God the better.
So, when you're not 100% positive, listen to what God's telling your heart and TRUST.

But even within those two orders, each community is different. Most Dominicans teach (formally), because they were started as a teaching order. Franciscans also teach, but they started out as a healing order, but of course preached the Gospel as they cured people.

You don't have to stick to those two orders though. The Servant Sisters of the Eternal Word actually [i]combined[/i] the Franciscan and Dominican charisms. Their habits are a combination of both. But i'm not sure if they do nursing. I know the Sisters of Mercy (the reformed ones) in Alma, MI, have a nursing apostolate too, but I'm not too sure of what their charism is like. foryourvocation.org has some links and some really helpful tools on this stuff, as well as a link the CMSWR's website and a couple other links.

All I can suggest it to see what to community holds dear to them and see how it compares to what you hold as dear. Most religious communities will have a Marian devotion to some extent, as well as the Eucharist. Eventually you'll find some community that just "fits"; a community that was "made for you". (chances are it probably was)

Good luck and many prayers in your discernment!!!

[Cherie]

I'll just add my two cents, if you don't mind!

Everyone's discernment is completely different - it is specific to them personally. Some people "just know" which community they are called to - and they only ever look at one or two communities! Some people have a great attraction to a specific charism (Carmelite, Franciscan, etc.), and so they look for communities within that frame.

However, many people start by looking at communities with an apostolate they feel called to (e.g. nursing, teaching, etc.) and after visiting a certain community with that apostolate, everything just "fits." I know numerous spiritual directors who have suggested discernment in that way. Yes, it's true that the apostolate isn't the main thing, it's the consecration to God that comes first and foremost (and that's great that you know that! You're ahead of a lot of discerners!), but personally, don't try to put away something you have an obvious attraction to just yet; the attraction in and of itself could very well be from God, and meant to help you in your discernment. If you don't find any nursing communities that feel like "home," or "fit" to you, then you'll know that perhaps you have a calling to a different community with a different apostolate.

Most importantly, prayer. I know for myself, when I prayed in front of Our Lord at our parish's perpetual adoration chapel, it was only through that grace that I received the knowledge of where I was called to go. If you have an adoration chapel nearby, or even just an open church, try to spend some time with Our Lord alone there. You will receive many graces!

I know you were looking at some Dominican communities (and personally, I love the Hawthorne Dominicans! I think they are a great community!) but in case you'd like to look at communities with other charisms, here are some other communities that have some aspect of healthcare as part of their apostolate: (You may have already looked at them, but in case not, I included just a small sample!)
[url="http://www.carmelitesisters.com/"]
Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm[/url]
[url="http://www.carmelitedcj.org/"]Carmelite Sisters of the Divine Heart of Jesus[/url]
[url="http://www.carmelitesistersocd.com/"]Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus[/url]
[url="http://www.sacredheartsisters.org/"]Sister Servants of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus[/url]
[url="http://www.littlesistersofthepoor.org/"]Little Sisters of the Poor[/url]
[url="http://www.altonfranciscans.org/"]Sisters of St. Francis of the Martyr St. George[/url]

You're in all of our prayers, for sure! Discernment is not always easy, but God [i]will [/i]let you know. It won't be a voice from Heaven or a burning bush (goodness, wouldn't that be great, though!? ) but it will be enough of a conviction that you are able to take that first step into a community. And I know a number of Sisters who weren't really [i]entirely[/i] sure at all that they were called to the community they entered--they just felt like they should at least try it, and knew that they could leave during the novitiate if the life didn't fit them -- and here they are, professed Sisters who are very happy in their vocation! Just keep praying, and keep trusting.

[vee]

For me the only way Id know my spiritual calling for certain is if I ever made final vows. How to know which Order and Community though? My tactic involves begging God "tell me tell me tell me... if you want me to be a Sister you better tell me where you want me right now..." And so on like that Ive kind of taken the annoying neighbor approach. I forget where it is in the Bible but the story about the neighbor who has someone banging on the door in the middle of the night, he gets up to open the door out of the persistence of the caller and no other reason. Also I read of some saint who complained to Jesus that He didnt answer her sooner, and He replied something like " you didnt ask loud enough!" So beg constantly, persistently and loudly.

I also strongly recommend a devotion to St Joseph. I plead his intercession along with that of Our Lady and around a dozen saints. Speaking of Joseph I like this poem by Fr Leonard Feeney S.J because I think the first two stanzas are a beautiful example of how he cares for us.

Whenever the bright blue nails would drop,
down on the floor of the carpenter shop
St. Joseph, prince of carpenter men,
would stoop to gather them up again.

For he feared for two little sandals sweet,
and very easy to pierce they were
As they padded over the lumber there,
and rode on two little sacred feet.

Alas! On a hill between earth and heaven,
One day, two nails in a cross were driven
And fastened firm the sacred feet,
Where once rode two little sandals sweet.
And Christ and his mother looked off in death,
afar to the village of Nazareth

Where the carpenter shop lay all in dust,
And the little blue nails, all packed in rust,
Slept in a box on the window sill,
And Joseph lay sleeping under the hill.

[Thomist-in-Training]

Thanks for sharing the poem, vee8!

[TeresaBenedicta]

Heh. Like a lot of folks here, it seems, I [i]definitely[/i] though I knew exactly which charism fit me best-- Dominican, of course!! For a myriad of reasons. And, in some ways, I would still be tempted to say I'm supposed to be Dominican!! It just fits me!!

When I first met the community I hope to enter here soon, I wasn't interested in them [i]in that way[/i] (LOL) at first. I just really loved being around them, loved their apostolate, loved their Marian devotion, loved their habits, their prayer... yeah, I pretty much loved everything about them. But it was too bad, because I was supposed to be a Dominican!!

It took a few more visits before I finally began to get the picture, LOL. And then it took my SD telling me to contact their vocation director... and him telling me to go for an official visit... and etc.

[Michele]

this charism is attractive: "To cooperate with the Mercy of God (Divine Mercy)
in the work of rescuing lost souls." (St. Faustina's congregation). As the new forms of devotion to Divine Mercy are practiced, this charism can inspire various forms of Divine Mercy apostolates in many places where works of mercy or devotional materials are welcomed: religious orders, parish homilies, ministries, catechesis, catholic schools, libraries, bookstores, giftshops, service organizations, hospitals, prisons, funeral parlours, soup kitchens, elderly homes, family homes, art studios, music and film, writing, blogging, webistes, facebook groups, you name it. Everyone can be involved - singles, and each of the different vocational states. Divine Mercy is thoroughly a part of all sacraments. Thankfully the Holy Spirit has blessed the Church with many fruits, gifts, and charisms to work with. There's no time like the present to unite all the charisms to work together to reach out to all the groups of people in St. Faustina's novena. There's so many beautiful orders to consider, some with ancient traditions (the rosary should be a part of religious life everywhere! by the way, i request a smiley face with a rosary), there's other orders that are newer, but ALL of them truly are compatable with incorporating Divine Mercy now. Sister Faustina felt called to promote the new Divine Mercy devotions and went through so much to write in her Diary, get the Image painted, and get permissions for the new chaplet prayers etc. Faustina was canonized in the year 2000 and the Feast of Mercy with the Image became publicized then...so it's all out in the open and available to us. Wherever we are and whatever we do, we can be channels of Divine Mercy. Those of us that are aware of the Divine Mercy message should associate with Faustina, um, to spread Divine Mercy around the world (not everyone can fit into that particular convent, or perhaps into a convent at all). This devotion is not contrary to devotions by other patron saints - I bet St. Francis and Clare have caught on to the Divine Mercy chaplet and pray it in heaven by now! I also think it's important to think of the brother/sister orders - sisters praying for brothers of the same or similar charisms who are near them. And those of us outside need to pray for them too. Our prayers will help eachother more than we know! We should want to become less lukewarm, and more devout and faithful, even to the point of being amongst those who especially glorify Divine Mercy.

Edited May 30, 2010 by Michele