Why Do I Bother?

[Selah]

This is a mini rant. Bear with me.

A little prayer, if you please. I am having a hard time at work right now. It's become like hell, where I dread going. It's such a negative environment.

I always held onto this philosophy-Rachel's Challenge, trying to show kindness and compassion to everyone. Well, why in the hell should I? Why, when people lash out at me for know beaver dam good reason? When people know that I am soft spoken and would never lash back at them, take advantage of that and do the very same thing to me?

Why should I show people who treat me horribly with kindness? Why waste it on people like that? Yes, yes, I know I need a new job. I fully intend to get a new job. But it still hurts.

I'm sorry if this didn't make much sense. I am just so angry and saddened by this, and I need thicker skin. I know Erin would tell me that and possibly even be snarky right back to her coworkers if they treated her like this ( ). But I'm not like this. I'm sensitive beaver dam it! I cry when I'm upset, and I don't like being walked on. I can't possibly be expected to continue to be nice to these people, can I? My kindness is better put to use with people who actually need it.

I know, I know, it's just a stupid job, and I'll probably never see these people again once I leave. But beaver dam it, it still hurts! I'm sensitive, beaver dam it! Sometimes I hate how sensitive and empathetic I am. Why can't I just be indifferent? It wouldn't hurt as much. I wouldn't care.

Anyhow...it may not seem like much to you guys, and I fully expect to be reprimended for my current outlook. But I have very little patience or sympathy left right now.

[Slappo]

[quote name='Selah' date='18 June 2010 - 01:37 PM' timestamp='1276893447' post='2131027']
But I have very little patience or sympathy left right now.
[/quote]

but apparently a lot of beaver dams!

I'll say a prayer for you right now (otherwise I just say I'll pray and never do).

[Lil Red]

when someone says something rude to me, i usually just stare at them, and not say anything. two reasons: usually i'm upset, and i don't want to talk; and because that way they feel like an idiot.

[ardillacid]

My advice is to be more combative.

[Sojourner]

It is my observation that people often respond to respect, generosity, and kindness with disrespect, selfishness, and rudeness. I have seen this happen over and over again, to many different people, in many different situations. It is disheartening, but at the same time it provides an opportunity to choose the type of person you will be. Are you going to give up your own dignity and answer them in kind, or are you going to maintain dignity and continue to act bravely and unselfishly? This is a difficult choice, and only gets more difficult the more suffering you encounter.

[Bennn]

Love of those who hate us is a balm upon the wounded Heart of Jesus.

+Pax Domini,
Ben

[HisChildForever]

[quote name='Selah' date='18 June 2010 - 04:37 PM' timestamp='1276893447' post='2131027']
I am just so angry and saddened by this, and I need thicker skin. I know Erin would tell me that and possibly even be snarky right back to her coworkers if they treated her like this ( ). But I'm not like this.[/quote]

No, I would tell you to continue showering them with compassion and kindness. If a co-worker is attacking your person, which is much more serious than attacking your job performance in my opinion, by all means you should defend yourself - not by being mean but by conveying your disappointment in their attitude and showing a genuine shock at their inappropriate behavior.

My issue is never with co-workers but customers. I have held my ground with co-workers before (as well as with my manager) but I have never been in any serious dispute with them. Customers are the biggest challenge. I have one customer now, a "regular" if you will, who is very friendly with me. One of my first encounters with her was an absolute nightmare. She was rude, cruel, and condescending. What did I do? I simply REFUSED to let her affect me and I replied to her with polite manners and kindness. Do you know what happened? As I was ringing her up she APOLOGIZED for her behavior and told me how sweet I had been despite her attitude, which was due to a rough day at work. I have NEVER lost my temper with a customer, and I have had many customers compliment me for my patience after dealing with a nasty person (these were customers that were on line behind them).

[fides quarens intellectum]

[Selah]

[quote]No, I would tell you to continue showering them with compassion and kindness. If a co-worker is attacking your person, which is much more serious than attacking your job performance in my opinion, by all means you should defend yourself - not by being mean but by conveying your disappointment in their attitude and showing a genuine shock at their inappropriate behavior.

My issue is never with co-workers but customers. I have held my ground with co-workers before (as well as with my manager) but I have never been in any serious dispute with them. Customers are the biggest challenge. I have one customer now, a "regular" if you will, who is very friendly with me. One of my first encounters with her was an absolute nightmare. She was rude, cruel, and condescending. What did I do? I simply REFUSED to let her affect me and I replied to her with polite manners and kindness. Do you know what happened? As I was ringing her up she APOLOGIZED for her behavior and told me how sweet I had been despite her attitude, which was due to a rough day at work. I have NEVER lost my temper with a customer, and I have had many customers compliment me for my patience after dealing with a nasty person (these were customers that were on line behind them). [/quote]

And it's easy to say to this, "Oh, I'll do that." But Erin, I'm angry. Really angry. This person used to be so kind to me too, which is what really through me for a loop. It wasn't like a regular coworker who I just shrug off and ignore. She just went bat-insane on me today. Even if I did something stupid, it was totally not warrented. I ran into the crew room with my boss following me, the shift manager begging me to come back. I feel bad for him because I basically shrieked at him. It wasn't his fault and I wasn't mad at him. But everything I held in was just pouring out. All my anger and frustration came out, and he simply said, "Ida, does [name of coworker] give you a check? Does she wear a red shirt? (red shirts are worn by managers) No? So why do you care what she thinks? You know I think you do a good job. (At this point Natalie the shift manager ran in and started yacking my poor boss's ear off about talking to said employee.) I felt cared about, and I knew they were on my side. But it still hurts.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Bennn' date='18 June 2010 - 01:56 PM' timestamp='1276894573' post='2131039']
Love of those who hate us is a balm upon the wounded Heart of Jesus.

+Pax Domini,
Ben
[/quote]
i'm not selah ( ) but can i tell you what reaction i have when i read things like this? i feel guilty as hell because i'm such a *bleepy* Christian because i can't s[font="Tahoma"]u[/font]ck it up and 'love those who hate us', while simultaneously thinking that the person who posts this is a self-righteous, holier-than-thou prick. (note: i'm not saying that Benn or Geras is. i'm saying this is how i feel reading stuff like what they posted. i think they've posted some great stuff here. "i can't help my feelings!" ha ha ha )

also edited to add:
Geras' post below makes me feel the same way.

but alas, this is about Selah and not me, so i'm going to stop now.

Selah, I hope that you find the courage to do like these posters suggest.

[Geras16]

as your Christian brother, I think it would give you peace to remind you that not even good people get treated right. I mean Our Lord was the most loving and most compassionate (not to mention the most powerful and highly honored in all of Creation) man who ever walked on Earth, and they still managed to punish Him, make Him suffer, and curse Him to Hell. We can only imagine Our Lord saying to us with tender sorrow "What more do you want from me? that my own heart and body, and blood hasn't given you?"

It is amazing to be the good guy: I mean, why does one person feel so drawn to stand up for another, while the rest are content to stand back and observe. also (like in your case) why is one person called to put up with everyone patiently, while everyone can test that person's patience as much as they want?

It seems to me, there's only one situation when one just simply bothers to do what no one else bothers to do (even in nature it is apparent). And that's when there's Paternal and filial love (we don't see creatures taking care of other creatures, unless they were their own). But as Christians, we are taught that everyone is our brother and sister, even the most hopeless case. Do not forget that God your Father loves those who are unlovable, and that He desires to be near them as much as He has become near to you. we must respect that love, by learning to love and hope for our brothers and sisters as well.

When you get hurt it is okay to cry, but remember that their souls are entrusted to you, not your soul entrusted to them. otherwise you will suffer much, knowing that they can drive you to despair or fear. Instead, let your Love for God, drive them to shame or repentance, either one is good for them. You carry the Love of God in you, so they will LEARN from your patience who God is, whether it pleases them or not. just like the woman caught in adultery, if one honest person stands up for her (regardless if she is a damned sinner), God will silence her enemies who want her to die miserably. In other words, Remember that Our Lord stands up for you among those who think you less, and He will silence them with their own words because they do not know how to thirst and mourn for Mercy. He will reward you for the love you will show Him because he taught you in your dreaded hour how to forgive your enemies as well as yourself.

so take courage...these souls who persecute you, some of them belong to God and will amaze the Heavens in the end. Be prayerful, so that Our Lord will also stand up for them in their time of trial as He has for you. These souls who hurt you, belong to you because you have God in your heart. everyone needs Him to be present in their lives...so I say, keep bothering to do good, it strengthens the bond of love and joy of your brothers and sisters in heaven and on earth.

[Selah]

[quote name='Lil Red' date='18 June 2010 - 06:38 PM' timestamp='1276897135' post='2131063']
i'm not selah ( ) but can i tell you what reaction i have when i read things like this? i feel guilty as hell because i'm such a *bleepy* Christian because i can't s[font="Tahoma"]u[/font]ck it up and 'love those who hate us', while simultaneously thinking that the person who posts this is a self-righteous, holier-than-thou prick. (note: i'm not saying you are. i'm saying this is how i feel reading stuff like what you posted. i think you've posted some great stuff here. "i can't help my feelings!" ha ha ha )

also edited to add:
Geras' post below makes me feel the same way.

but alas, this is about Selah and not me, so i'm going to stop now.

Selah, I hope that you find the courage to do like these posters suggest.
[/quote]


I totally did not mean to give this a negative. I recant

[Lil Red]

[quote name='Selah' date='18 June 2010 - 02:44 PM' timestamp='1276897471' post='2131069']
I totally did not mean to give this a negative. I recant
[/quote]
it's okay i figured i would get negatives for expressing my actual opinion about this subject.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='Selah' date='18 June 2010 - 04:44 PM' timestamp='1276897471' post='2131069']
I totally did not mean to give this a negative. I recant [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/sad.gif[/img]
[/quote]


[quote name='Lil Red' date='18 June 2010 - 04:48 PM' timestamp='1276897709' post='2131073']
it's okay [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile.gif[/img] i figured i would get negatives for expressing my actual opinion about this subject.
[/quote]

Not to worry. I rode in on my steed and used my handy +1 to correct the injustice, then rode away.

Onlookers gasped, "Who is that masked woman? She can't ride a horse worth a beaver dam."

[Lil Red]

iggy, you are too funny!

[dominicansoul]

[quote name='Selah' date='18 June 2010 - 04:37 PM' timestamp='1276893447' post='2131027']
This is a mini rant. Bear with me.

A little prayer, if you please. I am having a hard time at work right now. It's become like hell, where I dread going. It's such a negative environment.

I always held onto this philosophy-Rachel's Challenge, trying to show kindness and compassion to everyone. Well, why in the hell should I? Why, when people lash out at me for know beaver dam good reason? When people know that I am soft spoken and would never lash back at them, take advantage of that and do the very same thing to me?

Why should I show people who treat me horribly with kindness? Why waste it on people like that? Yes, yes, I know I need a new job. I fully intend to get a new job. But it still hurts.

I'm sorry if this didn't make much sense. I am just so angry and saddened by this, and I need thicker skin. I know Erin would tell me that and possibly even be snarky right back to her coworkers if they treated her like this ( ). But I'm not like this. I'm sensitive beaver dam it! I cry when I'm upset, and I don't like being walked on. I can't possibly be expected to continue to be nice to these people, can I? My kindness is better put to use with people who actually need it.

I know, I know, it's just a stupid job, and I'll probably never see these people again once I leave. But beaver dam it, it still hurts! I'm sensitive, beaver dam it! Sometimes I hate how sensitive and empathetic I am. Why can't I just be indifferent? It wouldn't hurt as much. I wouldn't care.

Anyhow...it may not seem like much to you guys, and I fully expect to be reprimended for my current outlook. But I have very little patience or sympathy left right now.
[/quote]

the honourable thing to do would to go out back and have it out with fisticuffs...this way, you get all the rage out, and in the end, you can still shake hands and respect each other when it's all over...

[Slappo]

[quote name='dominicansoul' date='18 June 2010 - 03:06 PM' timestamp='1276898799' post='2131086']
the honourable thing to do would to go out back and have it out with fisticuffs...this way, you get all the rage out, and in the end, you can still shake hands and respect each other when it's all over...
[/quote]

Or, be like Reepicheep from Chronicles of Narnia and demand a duel.


I understand what Lil Red was saying. When I'm mad I usually don't want people to say, "Just remember, Jesus loves them and you should too. When you're persecuted pray for your enemies." I usually want them to say, "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

[Winchester]

Tomorrow, walk in and bite an ear off the toughest person in the office. Spit the ear at the second toughest person.

Edited June 18, 2010 by Winchester

[BG45]

Ah....McHell, how I do not miss my four years with thee. I know the feeling Selah; when I worked there I had other employees constantly putting me down for seeking an education. Telling me I'd never amount to more. I was physically struck while there by another employee, sent to the hospital once over an accident caused by managerial negligence. I never once raised my voice back, because I was too nice and too sensitive to do so.

I'd recommend defending yourself, but doing so with as much charity as you can muster. Life is too short to be eaten up by anger at other people. Try not to sink to their level of going nuts on a person I know it's one thing to take it from the customers, but it's another entirely to have to deal with coworkers doing that. It made me a bit happier to read that your managers are on your side at least.

[Nihil Obstat]

[quote name='dominicansoul' date='18 June 2010 - 05:06 PM' timestamp='1276898799' post='2131086']
the honourable thing to do would to go out back and have it out with fisticuffs...this way, you get all the rage out, and in the end, you can still shake hands and respect each other when it's all over...
[/quote]
I like how you spell honour the Canadian way.