MissScripture Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 So, this weekend, my dad and my sister are coming out to visit me and my husband, so my sister can say goodbye to us before she leaves to enter in Nashville. I've been super excited for her, since she got accepted, and I've had an awesome summer, getting to hang out with another gal who is entering with my sister. But then, last Sunday, I was talking to some friends about it (one of them is the gal who is also entering, and another has a sister who is already a sister in Nashville) and I suddenly realized I don't think I'll be able to make it to any visit days, and I don't even know if I'll make it down to Nashville before her first vows! I really, really want to, of course, but I'm in grad school right now and don't have much control over my schedule. And so now I'm getting a little panick-y. Please pray for me that I can stay calm and enjoy this coming weekend and not freak out the whole time about how much I'll miss her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Prayers. And just think, you might be able to write, email, phone call, send pictures, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted July 29, 2010 Author Share Posted July 29, 2010 [quote name='JoyfulLife' date='29 July 2010 - 12:38 AM' timestamp='1280378333' post='2149401'] Prayers. And just think, you might be able to write, email, phone call, send pictures, etc. [/quote] I'll be able to write, and send pictures. I think on her visit days she can call people who weren't able to make it, too. She can write back on 2 Sundays a month, I think... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah147 Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Now, wow, that is great! You'll definitely be in touch. I hope you have a fantastic time with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted July 29, 2010 Author Share Posted July 29, 2010 [quote name='JoyfulLife' date='29 July 2010 - 12:44 AM' timestamp='1280378660' post='2149404'] Now, wow, that is great! You'll definitely be in touch. I hope you have a fantastic time with her. [/quote] Yes, but it will be a very sharp contrast to right now when I can call her whenever I want and talk for hours and hours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 Focus on enjoying the visit - let the future take care of itself. If you're worried about the future all during the actual visit, you won't be able - later - to remember what you said or did, you'll remember just the worry. You can also try taking the traditionalist view: For centuries up to now, when someone joined a monastery/order, it was entirely possible that their family wouldn't see then ever again. At all. Amen. Alleluia. Period. Full stop. You will have the luxury of being able to write to her and she to you, as well as getting word about her through your folks & siblings who can attend the visiting days - these are the traditional ways families stayed in touch with their sisters in convents. And you'll be able to visit eventually, won't you - graduate school doesn't go on forever, does it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeresaBenedicta Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 *bighug* It's going to be tough, but both of you will get through it. Last year one of my close friends had her younger sister enter the Poor Clares. They were best friends, so close. It was a very difficult year for my friend and I was the person she trusted to help her get through the year. I've never experienced this type of separation before, so I can't say that I completely understand: I don't. But I can say how transforming God's grace is in these situations. I literally SAW the transformation of my friend through the year. It was AMAZING. Through her struggles, I saw her grow closer and closer to Jesus, and I saw her grow leaps and bounds in virtue. She found herself slowly coming to understand the true nature of redemptive suffering. Coming to understand that mystical truth of "meeting in the Holy Eucharist" and growing closer to her sister, despite the separation. I saw real growth in the rest of her family as well. I feel so blessed to have been able to witness God's grace working in them. I guess all I can really say is that, yes, it's going to be hard. It's going to hurt a lot. But know that God wants to bring many, many blessings on you and your family for your sacrifice. He wants to draw you into His own suffering and love. Draw close to the Sorrowful Mother, she who loved her Son so perfectly had to suffer a sword piercing her own heart because of that love. Know of my prayers. And trust God to work out the details, with Grad school and visiting and the like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted July 29, 2010 Author Share Posted July 29, 2010 [quote name='Luigi' date='29 July 2010 - 01:04 AM' timestamp='1280379883' post='2149411'] Focus on enjoying the visit - let the future take care of itself. If you're worried about the future all during the actual visit, you won't be able - later - to remember what you said or did, you'll remember just the worry. You can also try taking the traditionalist view: For centuries up to now, when someone joined a monastery/order, it was entirely possible that their family wouldn't see then ever again. At all. Amen. Alleluia. Period. Full stop. You will have the luxury of being able to write to her and she to you, as well as getting word about her through your folks & siblings who can attend the visiting days - these are the traditional ways families stayed in touch with their sisters in convents. And you'll be able to visit eventually, won't you - graduate school doesn't go on forever, does it? [/quote] Sometimes it feels like it will go on forever...LOL! But I SHOULD be finished in the spring (barring catastrophe and major disaster!), and then I will get to see her when she comes home for 5 days. After that, though, I have no idea where I'll be/what I'll be doing...so I can't even be like, "Hey, I'll visit her in the fall" or something. Probaby just another case of God trying to teach me patience... [quote name='TeresaBenedicta' date='29 July 2010 - 01:10 AM' timestamp='1280380232' post='2149414'] *bighug* It's going to be tough, but both of you will get through it. Last year one of my close friends had her younger sister enter the Poor Clares. They were best friends, so close. It was a very difficult year for my friend and I was the person she trusted to help her get through the year. I've never experienced this type of separation before, so I can't say that I completely understand: I don't. But I can say how transforming God's grace is in these situations. I literally SAW the transformation of my friend through the year. It was AMAZING. Through her struggles, I saw her grow closer and closer to Jesus, and I saw her grow leaps and bounds in virtue. She found herself slowly coming to understand the true nature of redemptive suffering. Coming to understand that mystical truth of "meeting in the Holy Eucharist" and growing closer to her sister, despite the separation. I saw real growth in the rest of her family as well. I feel so blessed to have been able to witness God's grace working in them. I guess all I can really say is that, yes, it's going to be hard. It's going to hurt a lot. But know that God wants to bring many, many blessings on you and your family for your sacrifice. He wants to draw you into His own suffering and love. Draw close to the Sorrowful Mother, she who loved her Son so perfectly had to suffer a sword piercing her own heart because of that love. Know of my prayers. And trust God to work out the details, with Grad school and visiting and the like. [/quote] A friend of mine keeps assuring me that my sister and I will actually become closer and have a better relationship after this. I try really hard to believe her! I think it's all just kind of hitting me at once, is the thing. I've spent so much time being so happy for her and super excited, because I know that this is what she's meant to do...I kind of forgot the part where she has to leave to do it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 (edited) [quote name='MissScripture' date='29 July 2010 - 01:27 AM' timestamp='1280381277' post='2149417'] A friend of mine keeps assuring me that my sister and I will actually become closer and have a better relationship after this. I try really hard to believe her! I think it's all just kind of hitting me at once, is the thing. I've spent so much time being so happy for her and super excited, because I know that this is what she's meant to do...I kind of forgot the part where she has to leave to do it... [/quote] you have every right to be anxious, panic, cry, and feel a bit overwhelmed at missing your sister... this isn't easy, it's not supposed to be easy... Jesus demands so much when he calls a loved one, doesn't he? Her Vocation effects ALL her loved ones, not only her... the thing is, you are being quite normal about this. There are extremes, like when family members get too overly anxious to the point they make their loved one feel a bit guilty about leaving to enter a convent. Or, there could be the opposite extreme, where the family could care less, and make the person feel like her vocation means nothing to them... I've seen both examples, and it was never a good thing for the person involved... you are keeping things balanced, as you support her 100%, are very happy for her, and you realize how happy all this makes her... as much as the seperation may hurt, you wouldn't want anything to prevent your sister from going... I bet you and she are probably feeling the same thing about missing each other... this is probably an overwhelming time for her, as well... and it's probably hitting her just as much.. This time with her will be the most important time you guys will have ever spent with each other. Don't try and suppress your emotions about this. Let it all out. Regardless of the bittersweetness of the situation, I'm sure you two will really be able to enjoy this time with each other. You'll always remember it. ...and yes, this will make you two closer. I know it sounds hard to believe, but I was there, and I witnessed how close Jesus brings families through this seperation. God is awesome. He truly rewards those who have left everything for him... Edited July 29, 2010 by dominicansoul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tridenteen Posted July 29, 2010 Share Posted July 29, 2010 JMJ Maybe your sister could explain to the Superior about your problem, and then nthey could give you a separate visiting time? They do that at one convent by me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 [quote name='dominicansoul' date='29 July 2010 - 04:08 AM' timestamp='1280390938' post='2149425'] you have every right to be anxious, panic, cry, and feel a bit overwhelmed at missing your sister... this isn't easy, it's not supposed to be easy... Jesus demands so much when he calls a loved one, doesn't he? Her Vocation effects ALL her loved ones, not only her... the thing is, you are being quite normal about this. There are extremes, like when family members get too overly anxious to the point they make their loved one feel a bit guilty about leaving to enter a convent. Or, there could be the opposite extreme, where the family could care less, and make the person feel like her vocation means nothing to them... I've seen both examples, and it was never a good thing for the person involved... you are keeping things balanced, as you support her 100%, are very happy for her, and you realize how happy all this makes her... as much as the seperation may hurt, you wouldn't want anything to prevent your sister from going... I bet you and she are probably feeling the same thing about missing each other... this is probably an overwhelming time for her, as well... and it's probably hitting her just as much.. This time with her will be the most important time you guys will have ever spent with each other. Don't try and suppress your emotions about this. Let it all out. Regardless of the bittersweetness of the situation, I'm sure you two will really be able to enjoy this time with each other. You'll always remember it. ...and yes, this will make you two closer. I know it sounds hard to believe, but I was there, and I witnessed how close Jesus brings families through this seperation. God is awesome. He truly rewards those who have left everything for him... [/quote] Please pray for us this weekend! [quote name='Tridenteen' date='29 July 2010 - 09:56 AM' timestamp='1280411776' post='2149441'] JMJ Maybe your sister could explain to the Superior about your problem, and then nthey could give you a separate visiting time? They do that at one convent by me... [/quote] The problem isn't so much when the visit days are, it's more that I don't have time off. The only break I get this year that I could possibly see her is around Christmas...I've been mentally plotting on ways to get down there over my Christmas break to see her. But shh... my hubby doesn't know that, yet... *GASP* MAYBE I CAN SURPRISE HER! THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IgnatiusofLoyola Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I think you are SO lucky to have a sister that you are so close to. I'd give anything to have that. You're going to miss her, but in the end, no matter how long it will be before you see her, you're still going to have a sister who truly loves you. I have a sister, but it's never going to be that way--it's not in her nature, and she doesn't want it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissScripture Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 [quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' date='29 July 2010 - 09:43 PM' timestamp='1280454209' post='2149727'] I think you are SO lucky to have a sister that you are so close to. I'd give anything to have that. You're going to miss her, but in the end, no matter how long it will be before you see her, you're still going to have a sister who truly loves you. I have a sister, but it's never going to be that way--it's not in her nature, and she doesn't want it anyway. [/quote] It's something I really do treasure. I don't really know HOW we ended up being so close, though--she's five years younger than me, and I remember not liking her much when I was little... I think it helped that she would do a lot of stuff for me, because she always wanted me to play with her, but I couldn't play with her until other stuff was done. Even when I was in high school, she once helped me write a paper (I had a ton of research printed off for an English paper, and I had her go through and highlight a couple key words, so I could find what I needed faster, and therefore finish quicker. And I didn't even force her to do it, she just wanted to!) She's an awesome sister! I so don't deserve her! We also used to have a rockin' time bugging the snot out of our parents on long car trips...Happy memories! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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