Nashville Dominicans

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1282189758' post='2159887']
I think this depends a lot on the particular Order. I think (someone correct if I'm wrong) that both Nashville and Ann Arbor tend to have pretty big vocation retreats. It's been known to happen that someone goes on this retreat as pretty much their first real contact with the community and come out with application papers.
[/quote]

That's really what worries me (more Ann Arbor than Nashville). I think Ann Arbor is a beautiful community with a wonderful apostolate, but I wonder about their vocation program. I've heard stories of girls being overzealous after going on one retreat because they got application papers. How many of these girls developed relationships with the community that was more than just a weekend retreat and a few emails?

I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement and if I'm wrong, please forgive me. But I think more caution is warranted with these larger communities. When you think about the smaller cloistered or active orders, usually (not always) a lot of prayer and discernment happens before the person is given application papers and approved to enter. They want to make sure it's the best decision for both the candidate and the community. Sometimes it doesn't work out in the end even then.

(I just want to say that not all girls who go to Ann Arbor get application papers. I know two girls who wanted to enter before they even went on retreat and they spoke to Sr. Joseph Andrew and were asked to wait a year or so, which I think is wise. Both of the girls decided to develop deeper ties with the community and in the process, one discerned that she was not called to Ann Arbor.)

Edited August 19, 2010 by MaterMisericordiae

[LadyOfSorrows]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1282195801' post='2159931']
That's really what worries me (more Ann Arbor than Nashville). I think Ann Arbor is a beautiful community with a wonderful apostolate, but I wonder about their vocation program. I've heard stories of girls being overzealous after going on one retreat because they got application papers. How many of these girls developed relationships with the community that was more than just a weekend retreat and a few emails?

[/quote]


Does anyone know if the Ann Arbor Dominicans allow personal discernment retreats with their community? It seems like it would be terribly difficult to discern in such a short amount of time and with so many girls there...

[Caritas]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1282189758' post='2159887']
I think this depends a lot on the particular Order. I think (someone correct if I'm wrong) that both Nashville and Ann Arbor tend to have pretty big vocation retreats. It's been known to happen that someone goes on this retreat as pretty much their first real contact with the community and come out with application papers.
[/quote]

Ann Arbor has huge vocation retreats-- like over 100 girls at times, and many aren't even discerning (I really don't like how they do their retreats, but that's beside the point). In Nashville they actually do keep the vocation ones small (20-25 people), and I know the vocation director has a hard time because more people want to go and she has to decide ultimately who can come. The non-discernment retreats generally have around 70 women, so maybe that's what you are thinking of..? You are right in that many people just attend one vocation retreat and then apply, but I think that because they have such a large number of discerners and do like to keep the vocation retreats small, they do prefer to have a bit more contact before allowing someone to come on a discernment retreat. I could definitely be wrong, but this has been my experience

Edited August 19, 2010 by Caritas

[Caritas]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1282195801' post='2159931']
That's really what worries me (more Ann Arbor than Nashville). I think Ann Arbor is a beautiful community with a wonderful apostolate, but I wonder about their vocation program. I've heard stories of girls being overzealous after going on one retreat because they got application papers. How many of these girls developed relationships with the community that was more than just a weekend retreat and a few emails?

I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement and if I'm wrong, please forgive me. But I think more caution is warranted with these larger communities. When you think about the smaller cloistered or active orders, usually (not always) a lot of prayer and discernment happens before the person is given application papers and approved to enter. They want to make sure it's the best decision for both the candidate and the community. Sometimes it doesn't work out in the end even then.

(I just want to say that not all girls who go to Ann Arbor get application papers. I know two girls who wanted to enter before they even went on retreat and they spoke to Sr. Joseph Andrew and were asked to wait a year or so, which I think is wise. Both of the girls decided to develop deeper ties with the community and in the process, one discerned that she was not called to Ann Arbor.)
[/quote]


[quote name='LadyOfSorrows' timestamp='1282196340' post='2159934']
Does anyone know if the Ann Arbor Dominicans allow personal discernment retreats with their community? It seems like it would be terribly difficult to discern in such a short amount of time and with so many girls there...
[/quote]

I definitely agree with this sentiment. The women on the Ann Arbor retreats don't get to see the sisters in their apostolate, and only visit the motherhouse for Mass. It just makes me nervous because I don't know how you can truly feel "at home" without really seeing the sisters in their normal, everyday lives. However, yes, I believe they do allow for personal retreats.

[LadyOfSorrows]

[quote name='Caritas' timestamp='1282196820' post='2159937']
I definitely agree with this sentiment. The women on the Ann Arbor retreats don't get to see the sisters in their apostolate, and only visit the motherhouse for Mass. It just makes me nervous because I don't know how you can truly feel "at home" without really seeing the sisters in their normal, everyday lives. However, yes, I believe they do allow for personal retreats.
[/quote]


I know the sisters in Ave Maria, FL, and I'm blessed to have been able to help them in the classroom and pray on Sundays with them. It has really given me a feel for their life. I am very attracted to their order...I'm almost afraid to attend one of the big 24 hour discernment retreats because I don't want to be turned off at all..

Goodness, discernment is complicated.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Caritas' timestamp='1282196820' post='2159937']
I definitely agree with this sentiment. The women on the Ann Arbor retreats don't get to see the sisters in their apostolate, and only visit the motherhouse for Mass. It just makes me nervous because I don't know how you can truly feel "at home" without really seeing the sisters in their normal, everyday lives. However, yes, I believe they do allow for personal retreats.[/quote]

I think more discernment and caution should be used when dealing with young women (this coming from one! ). I know in my discernment, especially at the beginning, there were periods where I was zealous to enter ANYWHERE just as long as I could be a Sister. I mean, it was like the first community I felt a remote attraction to could be the one. I worry about heartbreak with these young girls. A friend of mine told me that one of the vocation directors of these larger communities told her that if she didn't enter RIGHT NOW that she'd lose her vocation! God doesn't do that. He doesn't say, "Enter now or I'll take this gift away from you." It's a process of serious prayer and contemplation and should be before taking such a monumental step.

I think of discernment as a courtship with Jesus. When you are dating someone, you don't just go on one date and then get engaged! You have to learn the person (or, in discernment, the community) and spend time with them before coming to that decision. One weekend with a community is not enough (like you said) to gauge your appropriate interest. If weekend retreats are all that are available, it would be best to go on several, but I think a live-in, if possible is the best. Being with the community and participating in their normal schedule is best.

God bless!

[Ora et Labora]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1282152196' post='2159575']
Good for you!

Seriously, God had do to some hardcore boxing with my perceived notion of where I was called. I was dead certain that I'd be Dominican and nothing else, no way no how.
[/quote]

I'm not even gonna look. I don't even know if the religious life is my calling...so, until I know, whatev!

[Caritas]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1282197980' post='2159944']
I think more discernment and caution should be used when dealing with young women (this coming from one! ). I know in my discernment, especially at the beginning, there were periods where I was zealous to enter ANYWHERE just as long as I could be a Sister. I mean, it was like the first community I felt a remote attraction to could be the one. I worry about heartbreak with these young girls. A friend of mine told me that one of the vocation directors of these larger communities told her that if she didn't enter RIGHT NOW that she'd lose her vocation! God doesn't do that. He doesn't say, "Enter now or I'll take this gift away from you." It's a process of serious prayer and contemplation and should be before taking such a monumental step.

I think of discernment as a courtship with Jesus. When you are dating someone, you don't just go on one date and then get engaged! You have to learn the person (or, in discernment, the community) and spend time with them before coming to that decision. One weekend with a community is not enough (like you said) to gauge your appropriate interest. If weekend retreats are all that are available, it would be best to go on several, but I think a live-in, if possible is the best. Being with the community and participating in their normal schedule is best.

God bless!
[/quote]

Yes, I agree. I think when there are girls on retreats not even out of high school who are being told that they definitely have a vocation or that now is the time to try it out, they're generally going to follow that advice-- especially from a vocation director. I know that I used to want an answer from others-- I wanted to hear those words that I should try it out now. I don't want to be overly critical or anything, but I think this is a real issue that needs to be addressed, because I hate to see so many girls who eventually do leave or who become convinced of something that isn't there.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='Caritas' timestamp='1282271886' post='2160433']
Yes, I agree. I think when there are girls on retreats not even out of high school who are being told that they definitely have a vocation or that now is the time to try it out, they're generally going to follow that advice-- especially from a vocation director. I know that I used to want an answer from others-- I wanted to hear those words that I should try it out now. I don't want to be overly critical or anything, but I think this is a real issue that needs to be addressed, because I hate to see so many girls who eventually do leave or who become convinced of something that isn't there.
[/quote]

I do agree that it can be dangerous for some girls to hear that from a vocations director... On the other hand, I think there is a certain truth to "Try it out" and that it's possible to "lose one's vocation". But I also think that it's extremely important that there be great prudence in knowing when and how to say these things concerning one's vocation. It can be detrimental to one's vocation to hear it... yet for others it can save their vocation.

[Caritas]

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1282272322' post='2160437']
I do agree that it can be dangerous for some girls to hear that from a vocations director... On the other hand, I think there is a certain truth to "Try it out" and that it's possible to "lose one's vocation". But I also think that it's extremely important that there be great prudence in knowing when and how to say these things concerning one's vocation. It can be detrimental to one's vocation to hear it... yet for others it can save their vocation.
[/quote]

Oh, definitely. Different personalities do need that push, but others need to be told to wait and be cautious. I guess it all depends upon knowing the person well enough to give that kind of advice.

[Tridenteen]

JMJ
I have been careful. I know a vocation, there isn't a real question about something being there. It's just the "hi! sign the application and then we can talk!!!" that I've heard about that has been an eye opener. And I really can see what ya'all mean by that...

[Ora et Labora]

[quote name='Caritas' timestamp='1282271886' post='2160433']
Yes, I agree. I think when there are girls on retreats not even out of high school who are being told that they definitely have a vocation or that now is the time to try it out, they're generally going to follow that advice-- especially from a vocation director. I know that I used to want an answer from others-- I wanted to hear those words that I should try it out now. I don't want to be overly critical or anything, but I think this is a real issue that needs to be addressed, because I hate to see so many girls who eventually do leave or who become convinced of something that isn't there.
[/quote]

I agree with you. I started visiting convents at a very young age. I believe the first convent I visited was the Shrine of Perpetual Adoration in Hanceville, AL at age 9. So, I've been very blessed to be able to have the opportunity to visit different religious orders around the US , even by myself at times, starting so young. I have my parents to thank for that. But there were times, especially as my high school years were close to an end, where religious orders would basically beg me to join!
And unlike you, that literally made me not even want to discern that religious community anymore! I think it's something that needs to be addressed as well. My sister joined a religious order at age 18, but by the time a year passed, they basically changed their minds about her! And I know situations are more complex then that, but what you brought up IS part of the problem I believe.

[quote name='TeresaBenedicta' timestamp='1282272322' post='2160437']
I do agree that it can be dangerous for some girls to hear that from a vocations director... On the other hand, I think there is a certain truth to "Try it out" and that it's possible to "lose one's vocation". But I also think that it's extremely important that there be great prudence in knowing when and how to say these things concerning one's vocation. It can be detrimental to one's vocation to hear it... yet for others it can save their vocation.
[/quote]

Yeah, that's my problem at this point. I don't know which vocation advise is for me.

[DameAgnes]

I don't see what all the "worrying" and hand-wringing is about. Some here are making it sound like the DSMME's give every girl an application and insist she has a vocation, as soon as she makes a retreat. Of course that is not true. But if they DO give pretty much anyone who asks an application, what's the harm? To my way of thinking it is a witness of great surrender to say, "sure, here is an application, let's see where the Lord is leading you..." it may be that the Lord is NOT, ultimately, leading them to the DSMME's, but wants them to make that pit stop on the way to something else.

God's ways aren't our ways. In the end, girls who are not called to religious life (or not called THERE) will figure it out, and the DSMME's will have assisted in their formation, in complete openness to the will of the Lord. Let's face it on this very board we see men and women who realize they've been "over-discerning". There is something to be said to sayin "just jump in and go on faith for a little while."

Sounds alright to me.

After all, the apostles did not need long discernment processes.

Edited August 20, 2010 by DameAgnes

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='DameAgnes' timestamp='1282334027' post='2160726']
I don't see what all the "worrying" and hand-wringing is about. Some here are making it sound like the DSMME's give every girl an application and insist she has a vocation, as soon as she makes a retreat. Of course that is not true. But if they DO give pretty much anyone who asks an application, what's the harm? To my way of thinking it is a witness of great surrender to say, "sure, here is an application, let's see where the Lord is leading you..." it may be that the Lord is NOT, ultimately, leading them to the DSMME's, but wants them to make that pit stop on the way to something else.

God's ways aren't our ways. In the end, girls who are not called to religious life (or not called THERE) will figure it out, and the DSMME's will have assisted in their formation, in complete openness to the will of the Lord. Let's face it on this very board we see men and women who realize they've been "over-discerning". There is something to be said to sayin "just jump in and go on faith for a little while."

Sounds alright to me.

After all, the apostles did not need long discernment processes.
[/quote]

[Ora et Labora]

[quote name='DameAgnes' timestamp='1282334027' post='2160726']
I don't see what all the "worrying" and hand-wringing is about. Some here are making it sound like the DSMME's give every girl an application and insist she has a vocation, as soon as she makes a retreat. Of course that is not true. But if they DO give pretty much anyone who asks an application, what's the harm? To my way of thinking it is a witness of great surrender to say, "sure, here is an application, let's see where the Lord is leading you..." it may be that the Lord is NOT, ultimately, leading them to the DSMME's, but wants them to make that pit stop on the way to something else.

God's ways aren't our ways. In the end, girls who are not called to religious life (or not called THERE) will figure it out, and the DSMME's will have assisted in their formation, in complete openness to the will of the Lord. Let's face it on this very board we see men and women who realize they've been "over-discerning". There is something to be said to sayin "just jump in and go on faith for a little while."

Sounds alright to me.

After all, the apostles did not need long discernment processes.
[/quote]

I agree.

I don't believe we were specifically talking about the DSSME'S anymore..I wasn't at least. I believe they help girls well.

[Ora et Labora]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1282195801' post='2159931']
That's really what worries me (more Ann Arbor than Nashville). I think Ann Arbor is a beautiful community with a wonderful apostolate, but I wonder about their vocation program. I've heard stories of girls being overzealous after going on one retreat because they got application papers. How many of these girls developed relationships with the community that was more than just a weekend retreat and a few emails?

I don't mean to offend anyone with this statement and if I'm wrong, please forgive me. But I think more caution is warranted with these larger communities. When you think about the smaller cloistered or active orders, usually (not always) a lot of prayer and discernment happens before the person is given application papers and approved to enter. They want to make sure it's the best decision for both the candidate and the community. Sometimes it doesn't work out in the end even then.

(I just want to say that not all girls who go to Ann Arbor get application papers. I know two girls who wanted to enter before they even went on retreat and they spoke to Sr. Joseph Andrew and were asked to wait a year or so, which I think is wise. Both of the girls decided to develop deeper ties with the community and in the process, one discerned that she was not called to Ann Arbor.)
[/quote]


[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1282197980' post='2159944']
I think more discernment and caution should be used when dealing with young women (this coming from one! ). I know in my discernment, especially at the beginning, there were periods where I was zealous to enter ANYWHERE just as long as I could be a Sister. I mean, it was like the first community I felt a remote attraction to could be the one. I worry about heartbreak with these young girls. A friend of mine told me that one of the vocation directors of these larger communities told her that if she didn't enter RIGHT NOW that she'd lose her vocation! God doesn't do that. He doesn't say, "Enter now or I'll take this gift away from you." It's a process of serious prayer and contemplation and should be before taking such a monumental step.

I think of discernment as a courtship with Jesus. When you are dating someone, you don't just go on one date and then get engaged! You have to learn the person (or, in discernment, the community) and spend time with them before coming to that decision. One weekend with a community is not enough (like you said) to gauge your appropriate interest. If weekend retreats are all that are available, it would be best to go on several, but I think a live-in, if possible is the best. Being with the community and participating in their normal schedule is best.

God bless!
[/quote]

Hahah, this is kinda late, but I wanted to let you know you're basically saying to a t what I'm trying to say as well.

God bless

[Caritas]

[quote name='DameAgnes' timestamp='1282334027' post='2160726']
I don't see what all the "worrying" and hand-wringing is about. Some here are making it sound like the DSMME's give every girl an application and insist she has a vocation, as soon as she makes a retreat. Of course that is not true. But if they DO give pretty much anyone who asks an application, what's the harm? To my way of thinking it is a witness of great surrender to say, "sure, here is an application, let's see where the Lord is leading you..." it may be that the Lord is NOT, ultimately, leading them to the DSMME's, but wants them to make that pit stop on the way to something else.

God's ways aren't our ways. In the end, girls who are not called to religious life (or not called THERE) will figure it out, and the DSMME's will have assisted in their formation, in complete openness to the will of the Lord. Let's face it on this very board we see men and women who realize they've been "over-discerning". There is something to be said to sayin "just jump in and go on faith for a little while."

Sounds alright to me.

After all, the apostles did not need long discernment processes.
[/quote]

I apologize, I didn't mean to imply this at all.

Pax

[dominicansoul]

the DSMME retreats aren't meant to show you the life of their community as much as it is rather a focus on your relationship with Jesus Christ in the most Holy Eucharist...

Sr. Joseph Andrew and the Sisters pretty much trust that the 24 hour-retreat centered on Eucharistic Adoration, will bring you into their community if you belong there...

Edited August 20, 2010 by dominicansoul

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1282344585' post='2160802']
the DSMME retreats aren't meant to show you the life of their community as much as it is rather a focus on your relationship with Jesus Christ in the most Holy Eucharist...

[i]Sr. Joseph Andrew and the Sisters pretty much trust that the 24 hour-retreat centered on Eucharistic Adoration, will bring you into their community if you belong there...[/i]
[/quote]



I've never heard it explained that way and all I can say is... if my heart weren't already with another community, the Dominicans would be pulling me back in again!!!

[Ora et Labora]

[quote name='dominicansoul' timestamp='1282344585' post='2160802']
the DSMME retreats aren't meant to show you the life of their community as much as it is rather a focus on your relationship with Jesus Christ in the most Holy Eucharist...

Sr. Joseph Andrew and the Sisters pretty much trust that the 24 hour-retreat centered on Eucharistic Adoration, will bring you into their community if you belong there...
[/quote]