Please Pray For Me

[rhetoricfemme]

So there's not really one specific reason, and none of them shine any negativity on the Church, but lately I don't know whether or not I am going to become Catholic.

To make a very long story short, I've had cold feet, I've over analyzed, I've tried too hard to convince myself one way or the other, not listened to God enough, and am just flat out not feeling it. I know 'feeling it' isn't a very good reason to stay out of the Church, but it's more than that, as I've stated. I'm finding it difficult to reconcile with myself that Catholicism is the one true church. And it makes me truly nervous to take our family into a particular church that my husband, while supportive of me, has informed me he has no intention of joining himself. It breaks me heart at the thought of being separated from him in any way.

At the moment I'm attending a nondenominational church. It's more like just visiting, actually. But if I'm not going to Mass, I at least want to be somewhere, you know? I feel like I've let myself become separated from God in some ways by not being at church at all. I've had no growth.

That's about as best as I can articulate it. I'm praying that I come back to Catholicism, but I also don't want to go back as though it's just a safe bet. I want to feel that it's where God is calling me to be, and that it's[i] the [/i]way. I hope that makes sense. All I know is that regardless of whether or not I convert, I don't think I'll ever be able to actually say Goodbye to Catholicism. It's too beautiful and important, and I'll always defend the Church against those who have problems with her.

Thanks to the handful of you who chatted with me about it tonight.

Edited October 17, 2010 by rhetoricfemme