Going For A Visit!

[vee]

[quote name='Divine Mercy 9999' timestamp='1288043479' post='2182500']
You'll be close to home for me - I'm in North Dakota. Hope you are used to cold.
[/quote]

Im from a similar area so the weather wont be a problem

[MissScripture]

I GOT TO TALK TO MY SISTER YESTERDAY AND TODAY! me---> <----my sister

I got to tell her on the phone that I will be coming to visit, and have bought a plane ticket...my hearing may take until December to return after the shrieking. But it was totally worth it.

She also told me that if my husband can't come with, the sisters will totally take care of me, inculding picking me up at the airport and giving me a place to stay and feeding me and all of that! I almost hope he can't come!

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1288563907' post='2183879']
I GOT TO TALK TO MY SISTER YESTERDAY AND TODAY! me---> <----my sister

I got to tell her on the phone that I will be coming to visit, and have bought a plane ticket...my hearing may take until December to return after the shrieking. But it was totally worth it.

She also told me that if my husband can't come with, the sisters will totally take care of me, inculding picking me up at the airport and giving me a place to stay and feeding me and all of that! I almost hope he can't come!
[/quote]



Yay!!! Aww, I'm so happy for you!!!

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1288563907' post='2183879']
I GOT TO TALK TO MY SISTER YESTERDAY AND TODAY! me---> <----my sister

I got to tell her on the phone that I will be coming to visit, and have bought a plane ticket...my hearing may take until December to return after the shrieking. But it was totally worth it.

She also told me that if my husband can't come with, the sisters will totally take care of me, inculding picking me up at the airport and giving me a place to stay and feeding me and all of that! I almost hope he can't come!
[/quote]

That's wonderful! I'm so pleased for you! And, it sounds like your sister was sort of excited, too. LOL (I wonder at what point in the formation process those in formation are discouraged from squealing? Or maybe they grow out of it naturally.) Sorry, not being around teenagers much, I'm not used to squealing. I don't remember being a "squealer" myself, but maybe I was and my memory has blocked it out.

Although it does sound funny to say you kind of want your husband to stay home so the Sisters will take care of you, I would have felt the same way when I was married. If you visit alone, you'll be so much more a part of the "life" of the Community. Also (and this is not a criticism of your hubs in any way), but he might not enjoy your conversations with your Sister sister as much as you do, and might be bored. Heck, you might feel the same way if he went to visit a very close lifelong friend and they had lots to talk about.

I'll remind you again later, but we expect you to keep a journal when you're there, or at least take some notes, so you can give us a FULL trip report. Obviously there will be personal things about your sister that aren't appropriate to share with us. But, so many VS'er's are interested in the ND's--either thinking of discerning with them, or simply interested because the ND's are talked about so much, that I think your fellow VS'ers would love to hear any details you gave us, such as what you had to eat , and what the dorms with curtained beds are REALLY like. (Personally, I'm always disappointed when someone writing a report about a visit to a Community doesn't talk about the food. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/dry.gif[/img] I think the food tells a lot about a Community.)

In fact, since you obviously won't be able to be with your sister every minute the really thoughtful thing for you to do would be to bring your computer so you can send us daily updates (or, at least, write up important points of the day so you'll remember them for your report when you return). Hmmm, I wonder what kind of Internet accesss the ND's have? WiFi? LOL

I'm reminding you of all this now, so you won't have a chance to get into the mindset that the most important thing in your visit is talking to your Sister sister. Obviously, the important thing is learning and experiencing as much as you can about the Community in order to tell US!!!! Sister sisters are important, of course, but your sister is just one person. VS is hundreds, thousands, assembled multitudes of people! Think how many vocations rest solely on your shoulders! LOL

Enough for now. I'll remind you again later. Perhaps we should start a list of things we want you to find out about on your visit, so you don't forget anything important such as, "What are the bathrooms like?" and "Where do the postulants do their homework for school?" Inquiring minds want to know!

[ameliabedelia]

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(can you take me with you??? [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/please.gif[/img]..... i know where the extra postulant clothes are. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile4.gif[/img])

ok since a report was requested i guess i will give mine:
bed w/ curtain= amazing...though if you move too much all the beds shake since they are connected lol

bathrooms= very nice and clean. you can totally tell its a house full of girls. EVERY bathroom has soap, hand sanitizer, and good smelling lotion next to each sink
and the showers have good smelling shampoo lol

food= yummy!! and lots of it. there were always cookies laying out to be taken whenever (that may have just been for the retreat though)
- and they will make food for almost any diet ( i am lactose intolerant and it was no problem .. they have sisters with food allergies and celiacs disease and eveything!)

whole visit= AMAZING!

Edited November 1, 2010 by ameliabedelia

[MissScripture]

[quote name='IgnatiusofLoyola' timestamp='1288566990' post='2183888']
That's wonderful! I'm so pleased for you! And, it sounds like your sister was sort of excited, too. LOL (I wonder at what point in the formation process those in formation are discouraged from squealing? Or maybe they grow out of it naturally.) Sorry, not being around teenagers much, I'm not used to squealing. I don't remember being a "squealer" myself, but maybe I was and my memory has blocked it out.

Although it does sound funny to say you kind of want your husband to stay home so the Sisters will take care of you, I would have felt the same way when I was married. If you visit alone, you'll be so much more a part of the "life" of the Community. Also (and this is not a criticism of your hubs in any way), but he might not enjoy your conversations with your Sister sister as much as you do, and might be bored. Heck, you might feel the same way if he went to visit a very close lifelong friend and they had lots to talk about.

[/quote]
She's always been a squealer, so I don't know if she'll grow out of it. It's so funny, because one of her close friends and fellow postulants is very levelheaded, organized and stay-on-task sort of person, and my sister is so exuberant. They balance each other nicely. But we joke about when they're both in their 90s in the convent, what they'll be like. I picture the two of them dueling with walkers. I am also expecting full-on tacklehugs from the both of them when I arrive, with our without my husband. Hopefully we'll be outside in a nice, grassy area, so that my head has a little protection!

I was actually very surprised, because I actually got to talk to my sister twice, yesterday and today (my parents were visiting and they went for 2 days). When I told my hubby yesterday that I talked to her, he was disappointed that he didn't get to, so i called my parents and told them he'd be calling today on his break. When he called, they still had their phones off from Mass, so he called me VERY disappointed, so I called them, prepared to leave an angry voicemail, when my sister answered, and I told her to call him before his break was over. Later, when I had an actual conversation with her, she said he almost made her cry when he was telling her how nice it was to talk to her and how good it was to hear her voice. And that almost made ME cry, because I sometimes get annoyed with him, because I don't think he gets it when I tell him how important some things are --like him being around for her home visit in the spring. I guess he does.

[quote name='ameliabedelia' timestamp='1288572995' post='2183899']
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(can you take me with you??? [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/please.gif[/img]..... i know where the extra postulant clothes are. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile4.gif[/img])

ok since a report was requested i guess i will give mine:
bed w/ curtain= amazing...though if you move too much all the beds shake since they are connected lol

bathrooms= very nice and clean. you can totally tell its a house full of girls. EVERY bathroom has soap, hand sanitizer, and good smelling lotion next to each sink
and the showers have good smelling shampoo lol

food= yummy!! and lots of it. there were always cookies laying out to be taken whenever (that may have just been for the retreat though)
- and they will make food for almost any diet ( i am lactose intolerant and it was no problem .. they have sisters with food allergies and celiacs disease and eveything!)

whole visit= AMAZING!
[/quote]
I'm so glad to hear the bathrooms are clean! I've been meaning to ask my sister, because she was SUCH a stickler for keeping her bathroom clean! She got used to having her own bathroom and would get SO annoyed when we'd come home if we'd mess it up at all! I kept teasing her about how she wouldn't be able to control that at the convent.

Edited November 1, 2010 by MissScripture

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='ameliabedelia' timestamp='1288572995' post='2183899']
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(can you take me with you??? [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/please.gif[/img]..... i know where the extra postulant clothes are. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/smile4.gif[/img])

ok since a report was requested i guess i will give mine:
bed w/ curtain= amazing...though if you move too much all the beds shake since they are connected lol

bathrooms= very nice and clean. you can totally tell its a house full of girls. EVERY bathroom has soap, hand sanitizer, and good smelling lotion next to each sink
and the showers have good smelling shampoo lol

food= yummy!! and lots of it. there were always cookies laying out to be taken whenever (that may have just been for the retreat though)
- and they will make food for almost any diet ( i am lactose intolerant and it was no problem .. they have sisters with food allergies and celiacs disease and eveything!)

whole visit= AMAZING!
[/quote]

Thanks for the report! Questions:

It's interesting to me that you really liked the dormitory-style bed with the sleeping curtain. It just shows how different people are. When I was in college, some of my friends joined sororities that had sleeping porches. Even in my teens there was no way I could imagine sleeping in a room with so many people. But, obviously, the sleeping porch was not an issue for my friends, since not all the sororities had sleeping porches and they could easily have joined a different sorority that had regular bedrooms. However, for me, sleeping in a dorm would be a constant mortification, while, in contrast, a small, simple cell to myself would make me very happy. Living in community, I'd expect that having a small bit of private space would be welcome, and needed, at least for me. In fact, if I were discerning, I wouldn't be surprised if the dormitory-style sleeping arrangements for the first few years wouldn't be a "dealbreaker."

Note of explanation: After my 20's, doctors discovered that I have a sleeping disorder that causes me to sleep very lightly and wake up frequently. I had a sleep test done and they found I woke up more than a hundred times in the night. So, any small sound or movement of the bed, for example, wakes me up, and in the long run, interferes with my ability to concentrate and would (and has) caused illness. I get no Stage 4 sleep and that is the deep sleep where the body heals and restores itself. It was a relief to me when I learned that my preference, (really a need) for a very quiet room to myself was not an indication of being a "princess," but was due to a real medical condition that currently has no cure, only ways to help symptoms. So, if I didn't have these sleep problems, I might find the dorms with the curtains around the beds very cozy.

I'm not surprised that the bathrooms were clean. I've never heard of a convent/monastery that wasn't spotlessly clean. From your description, it sounds like they have multiple individual bathrooms rather than dorm-style bathrooms with rows of sinks, stalls, and showers. Is that right? I also wonder whether the Sisters have nice smelling lotion, shampoo etc or whether that is something special for women on retreats. I wouldn't expect the Sisters to have to use lye soap as they did in "This House of Brede," but your description of the toiletries sounds more luxurious than I'd expect for a religious. (On the other hand, maybe the Community has a generous donor in the business of manufacturing soap etc. who donates all the soap, shampoo, cleaning products, etc. to the Sisters.)

I've heard before that the ND's have good food. I don't see good food as a "luxury" since you can have food that is healthy, and well-prepared, and yet not "fancy" or using expensive ingredients. Do they offer a choice of entrees? Are you expected to clean your plate? And, most importantly, what were the desserts like? (Shows where my priorities are. LOL)

Before anyone points out that I have my priorities wrong in wanting to know all the details, remember, I'm not discerning, I'm simply interested in how various Communities differ in how they live. I've been impressed with how well my fellow VS'ers who ARE discerning have their priorities straight when finally choosing a Community to join. For example, several of the women who entered religious life this year would have loved to wear a wedding gown at their clothing ceremony. But, in the end, most joined Communities that do not wear wedding gowns--God's call to a specific Community was more important than the details.

I like details, and I think details often reveal a lot about a Community beyond the ways it describes itself. Since, in practice, I don't see women choosing between Communities based on "details," I personally see no problem in being interested in the "details" of Community life.

[ameliabedelia]

i agree about the beds thing. if this was any secular life where i had to sleep like this i would have hated it! but since this is where im called God makes everything seem amazing and beautiful!
my favorite thing was that every night a novice goes around and blesses each cell in the whole convent (with people in them of course) she says "hail Mary" then you respond "full of grace" as she makes the sign of the cross with holy water on the curtain.

the bathrooms in the dormitories were dorm style bathrooms with a row and sinks on each side. (no mirrors which i though was cool! ) then individual closet things with sliding doors with the toilets and little closet things with the showers in them.
the bathrooms in the rest of the convent were regular restaurant style bathrooms with 3 stalls and 2 sinks.

the soap was cheep suave shampoo and conditioner...they just happened to smell good. lol.( im a smell kinda person)
the soap was just bar dove soap.
im pretty sure this is what they usually since there was a bunch more under the sinks.

there was no expectation on how much food to eat or not eat.
i think you could chose from what they made or could make yourself a pb and j.
for desert we had cookies and cake one day made my one of the novices ( im pretty sure it was for one of the other novices feast day though. im not sure)

sorry MS this had been officially [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/hijack.gif[/img]

[LaPetiteSoeur]

So...

My mother says she knows what she's getting me for Christmas...

Could it be a ticket to Nashville to visit the sisters?

I sincerely hope so!

[ameliabedelia]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1288656178' post='2184085']
So...

My mother says she knows what she's getting me for Christmas...

Could it be a ticket to Nashville to visit the sisters?

I sincerely hope so!



[/quote]

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

While we're talking about the ND's, there's something I've been curious about. Most Orders, including most Dominican Communities I've read about, appear to have a two-year novitiate--one year of the required canonical novitiate, and then a second year. However, the ND's only have the one year of canonical novitiate beore first vows. However, ND's are in first vows for five years, so they spend a total of seven years before perpetual vows, making the overall time in formation before perpetual vows similar (or even longer) than most communities.

I'm sure there is an excellent reason why the ND novitiate is only one year compared to the more common two years. I just don't know what that reason is. Does anyone who has discerned with the ND's or who is close to the Community in some other way have any additional information?

Thanks for helping to satisfy my often insatiable curiosity. If my health were better, I'd seriously consider writing a very respectful book about the various Orders and Communities in the U.S. It would give me a reason to visit the Communities, since I can't pretend to be a discerner, and I would enjoy both the research and the writing. And, discerners might find it helpful or at least insteresting. (Not to mention that I never could or would pretend to be a discerner--even if I could get away with it, it would be misrepresenting myself, something I would never do, and be very disrespectful to the Communities.) Another reason perhaps to continue to pray that my health improves.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

[quote name='ameliabedelia' timestamp='1288645599' post='2184045']
i agree about the beds thing. if this was any secular life where i had to sleep like this i would have hated it! but since this is where im called God makes everything seem amazing and beautiful!
my favorite thing was that every night a novice goes around and blesses each cell in the whole convent (with people in them of course) she says "hail Mary" then you respond "full of grace" as she makes the sign of the cross with holy water on the curtain.

the bathrooms in the dormitories were dorm style bathrooms with a row and sinks on each side. (no mirrors which i though was cool! ) then individual closet things with sliding doors with the toilets and little closet things with the showers in them.
the bathrooms in the rest of the convent were regular restaurant style bathrooms with 3 stalls and 2 sinks.

the soap was cheep suave shampoo and conditioner...they just happened to smell good. lol.( im a smell kinda person)
the soap was just bar dove soap.
im pretty sure this is what they usually since there was a bunch more under the sinks.

there was no expectation on how much food to eat or not eat.
i think you could chose from what they made or could make yourself a pb and j.
for desert we had cookies and cake one day made my one of the novices ( im pretty sure it was for one of the other novices feast day though. im not sure)

sorry MS this had been officially [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/hijack.gif[/img]
[/quote]

Since this thread is still about the ND's, I don't count that as being officially hijacked. We are still on the same general topic. Plus, I appreciated and enjoyed your answers to my questions about the ND's.

I should have known better than to even consider that the ND's would have luxury. Like you, I am a "smell" kind of person, and I have found that Suave shampoo works just as well as the MUCH more expensive brands, and it smells just as good! I confess, though, I do "treat" myself sometimes with the soaps and lotions from the Summit NJ Dominican nuns, because their products are very high quality and smell WONDERFUL!

OT Mini-ad--Right now the soaps, etc. of the Summit Dominican nuns are on sale at 10% off until November 13(?), because the nuns will be on retreat from November 14-23, and during that time the gift shop will be closed. So, if you've never treated yourself to their soaps, lotions, etc. (or bought them as small presents for others), the 10% discount might be an incentive. Note: The Summit Dominicans close down their Web site (including the gift shop) at night--although their blog is always available ( [url="http://www.monialesop.org%20)"]www.monialesop.org [/url] )-- so if you log onto the main site of the Summit Dominicans and it is not available, try again during the day. The Web site for the Summit Dominican nuns is [url="http://www.nunsopsummit.org"]www.nunsopsummit.org[/url].

Back on topic--I was very touched and moved by your reaction to your visit with the ND's. I thought it was wonderful that you loved things that you wouldn't love in secular life (like sharing a large dormitory, even if there are curtains around the beds--although others have written that the curtains make the bed very cozy) because this is where God is calling you. And, things like the shampoo felt like a "luxury" because the shampoo smelled good, although Suave is a very economical brand of shampoo (and I'm sure a Community the size of the ND's is able to buy toiletries in bulk at an even lower price).

On a related note: In my wanderings on the Web, I found the blog of a woman in discernment who wrote a number of reports about discernment visits to various Communities. The blog is titled "Infused Knowledge." I enjoyed her blog on her visit to the ND's. Even though she herself knew immediately that she was not called to the ND's, she loved her visit and was glad she had visited them. Here is a link to her blog about her visit to the ND's. [url="http://oiboyz.blogspot.com/2010/06/those-nashville-dominicans-also.html"]http://oiboyz.blogsp...icans-also.html[/url] For those who like to bake, this blogger also includes lots of wonderful recipes in her blogs! Unfortunately for us (but wonderful for her), in late October, the blogger joined the Adoritrices (Adorers of the Royal Heart of Jesus Christ Sovereign Priest) in Tuscany, Italy so there will be no more blogs. But, her past blogs are fun to read. For those who want to read her blogs about visits to various Communities, you don't have to scroll through her several years of blogs--she has them all classified under "Labels" at the lower right section of her blog under "Nun Stuff" and "Nuns I've Visited." If you have time, read her blog about her first visit to the Adoritrices. The Adoritrices are definitely different from the average U.S. Community (if there is such a thing as an "average" U.S. community). After reading her blog about her visit to the Adoritrices, I was not surprised that after a few years of discernment, this was the Community she unlimately felt called to.

Now I REALLY have hijacked this thread! But, I thought some of this off-topic stuff might be interesting to those who are actively discerning (and even to those, like me, who aren't).

Edited November 2, 2010 by IgnatiusofLoyola

[MarisStella]

MS, I'll be there, too! On the 27th. I'm so so so very excited.
(I know this is sort of late, lol.) It's so hard to leave though. Everything there is just perfect.

[Starets]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1288027706' post='2182367']
As some of you know, I was unsure if I would be able to visit my sister in Nashville this year. I am very pleased to announce that shortly after Christmas, my husband and I will be able to go visit her! I can't wait to see her and finally see the convent! PLUS it will be WAY warmer there than it is HERE that time of year!
[/quote]


I am glad to hear that you will be abl;e to visit your sister. I hope it will be a great and holy time together

:monk:
:avunncular hug and forehead smooch:

[vee]

its almost tiiiiime!!!! I pray you have a fantastic trip and safe travels..... I want to go too!