How Do You Know?

[InPersonaChriste]

So,

I have been discerning for 5 years and I have always wondered about that "feeling" you get in your heart when you just "know" that you are called to be one thing or another. The thing is, I am always so doubtful that when I feel something I pass it off. I am always I guess not trusting in God enough because I am worried that I will turn out to be one of those people who like the thought of religious life but are actually not called.

I dont know if this actually makes sense but I guess that typing it down helps me think it out.


In Persona Christe

Yoda

[Lisa]

I think at some point you just have to trust. I asked a Sister that same question a few weeks ago, and she said "when you take your final vows". I think that's really good advice, because like you, I worry that it's my desire, not God's will. But God knows the deepest desires of your heart, knows what will bring you true joy in life. (I come that you might have life, and have it to the full -John 10:10). But if it is the life God has called you to, then you will perservere and have the courage to take final vows- that is when you "know" for sure, forever!

[franciscanheart]

I would answer similarly to Lisa. I can't tell you how you know, I think you just do. But at some point, thinking ceases to be enough. You must go, act, do. Go to the Lord and leave it in His hands. If you are meant to be a religious, you will be given the grace to know it.

[MargaretTeresa]

It makes me wanna quit school...or find a time machine and fast forward. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap2.gif[/img]

[emilier98]

[quote name='MargaretTeresa' timestamp='1303765868' post='2232797']
It makes me wanna quit school...or find a time machine and fast forward. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/clap2.gif[/img]
[/quote]

I'm with MT. I want to quit school and just go. I want to be done with school and my debt paid off and I want to go.

Every sister I have talked to has told me the same thing, if I am called God will give me the grace to know and to move forward no matter what.

[OnlySunshine]

I agree with the Sister that said that you will only know your vocation when you make your final vows. I really thought I knew when I applied to my former community. Everything felt right at that first visit--it felt like I was home. I felt like I was a part of their community already because I could easily talk to any of the Sisters and felt so close to them. However, I really should have looked more carefully because if I had known how difficult the apostolate would be for me, I wouldn't have applied without some careful consideration and talking to my doctor to see if I should go back on my medication again. It was a lesson in patience and learning not to rush just because of feelings.

With the community I am discerning with now, I am hoping to be more cautious. I don't want to enter any community just because I want to be a Sister. I want to enter THE community--the one that God has set on my heart. Discernment takes trusting and patience. You could get all the feelings in the world but often times, they are wrong. For me, I ended up heartbroken because I was rushing God. It doesn't work that way. I gained one thing from that experience though--[i][b]maturity[/b][/i]. It taught me a lot!

[Sarah147]

It helps a lot to know that the Community discerns with you, so if you aren't sure about yourself, they are good at picking up if you do or don't have a calling. At least to that Community.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1303769937' post='2232879']
It helps a lot to know that the Community discerns with you, so if you aren't sure about yourself, they are good at picking up if you do or don't have a calling. At least to that Community.
[/quote]

Good point. This happened with my former community when I was trying to work in their apostolate before I entered. The Superior could see how much trouble I was experiencing and expressed her concern. I chalked it up to nerves and told her I was trying to work in spite of it, but I knew, the next day it was not going to work. I was so sick with anxiety that I had to go home. It was very difficult to come to that conclusion and for a long time, I thought that I had made a mistake and left too soon, but now I know that it was the right thing to do. I know that I am not called there. I am still hopeful for the SsEWs!

[Sarah147]

[quote name='MaterMisericordiae' timestamp='1303770658' post='2232883']
Good point. This happened with my former community when I was trying to work in their apostolate before I entered. The Superior could see how much trouble I was experiencing and expressed her concern. I chalked it up to nerves and told her I was trying to work in spite of it, but I knew, the next day it was not going to work. I was so sick with anxiety that I had to go home. It was very difficult to come to that conclusion and for a long time, I thought that I had made a mistake and left too soon, but now I know that it was the right thing to do. I know that I am not called there. I am still hopeful for the SsEWs!
[/quote]


I had an awful time once when trying out an order, too, as I was off my medicine (with doctor approval to try it out.) I'm sure thankful for medication.



SsEW !!!!!! May it work out for the three of us!

I had written her a letter last week. I hope she emails me and very soon. The wait is awful when you are excited to hear back! I'll warn y'all though that I won't be announcing whenever I'll be visiting. Just sometime between today and next April, hopefully. (I just want to keep it private and be anonymous on visiting.) I'll tell after my visit. And hopefully I won't be heartbroken.

Edited April 25, 2011 by JoyfulLife

[littlesister]

Sometimes the only thing that you will "know" is that you will never be at peace until you find out. And the only way to find out is to go to the place where your heart seems to belong and try it out. It is still a big jump, but a "postulant," after all, is "one who asks." Joyful Life is right : the community will be discerning ("asking") along with you.

[TeresaBenedicta]

[quote name='littlesister' timestamp='1303881206' post='2233834']
[b]Sometimes the only thing that you will "know" is that you will never be at peace until you find out.[/b] And the only way to find out is to go to the place where your heart seems to belong and try it out. It is still a big jump, but a "postulant," after all, is "one who asks." Joyful Life is right : the community will be discerning ("asking") along with you.
[/quote]

That's about all I know. Sometimes all I can do to dispel doubts is to think to myself... will I be at peace anywhere else? Without trying or giving it a chance? I don't think so. Even when I am wanting a nice, big Catholic family, a guy to hold, etc. I think I'd always be wondering... "What if?"

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='littlesister' timestamp='1303881206' post='2233834']
Sometimes the only thing that you will "know" is that you will never be at peace until you find out. And the only way to find out is to go to the place where your heart seems to belong and try it out. It is still a big jump, but a "postulant," after all, is "one who asks." Joyful Life is right : the community will be discerning ("asking") along with you.
[/quote]

Yes, Sister, you present a very valid point. This is the way I feel now. I used to think that I was absolutely 1000% sure that I was called to religious life, but it was a very flawed way of thinking because how can I know for sure unless it has been validated by a religious order and brought to fruition by final vows? I will never know unless I try it and I am convinced that if I don't try religious life, even for a little while, I will spend the rest of my life constantly thinking "What if?"

[InPersonaChriste]

[quote name='littlesister' timestamp='1303881206' post='2233834']
Sometimes the only thing that you will "know" is that you will never be at peace until you find out. And the only way to find out is to go to the place where your heart seems to belong and try it out. It is still a big jump, but a "postulant," after all, is "one who asks." Joyful Life is right : the community will be discerning ("asking") along with you.
[/quote]

I beleive that this is where i am at the moment! I needed some words of encouragement yesterday, thankyou!

[Sarah147]

I just came across this very thorough way of discerning...

[url="http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php"]http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php[/url]

[JenDeMaria]

[quote name='littlesister' timestamp='1303881206' post='2233834']
Sometimes the only thing that you will "know" is that you will never be at peace until you find out. And the only way to find out is to go to the place where your heart seems to belong and try it out. It is still a big jump, but a "postulant," after all, is "one who asks." Joyful Life is right : the community will be discerning ("asking") along with you.
[/quote]

This is so apt -- it is exactly the way I felt about my conversion to the Faith, actually.

Our perpetual eucharistic adoration chapel had a book on discerning the diocesan priesthood until recently (it appears to have wandered off this week). I flipped through it and looked at the section on discernment and found an interesting excercise:

The vocations director described making two holy hours on two different occasions in which he engaged in a "holy fantasy" -- imagining, in detail, married life and then life as a priest. At the end of each, he imagined dying a good death and standing before God in judgment asking "Did I choose well?" and he said, at the end of both, he felt happy with his choice and did not get a clear sense of which God might prefer. But, when he imagined what each life would entail and what he could do without, it was the thought that no one would ever call him "Father" if he did not become a priest that made his heart hurt most. Then he knew what he was called to do.

[Sarah147]

[quote name='JenDeMaria' timestamp='1304038909' post='2234418']
This is so apt -- it is exactly the way I felt about my conversion to the Faith, actually.

Our perpetual eucharistic adoration chapel had a book on discerning the diocesan priesthood until recently (it appears to have wandered off this week). I flipped through it and looked at the section on discernment and found an interesting excercise:

The vocations director described making two holy hours on two different occasions in which he engaged in a "holy fantasy" -- imagining, in detail, married life and then life as a priest. At the end of each, he imagined dying a good death and standing before God in judgment asking "Did I choose well?" and he said, at the end of both, he felt happy with his choice and did not get a clear sense of which God might prefer. But, when he imagined what each life would entail and what he could do without, it was the thought that no one would ever call him "Father" if he did not become a priest that made his heart hurt most. Then he knew what he was called to do.
[/quote]


Yeah, I do that... Imagine living the life of each... I feel that's part of discernment. It always comes right back to religious life, for me. But then, it's easy to get lost in the clouds and imagine it being a certain way, but getting a reality check when you actually visit an order, or date a person, or try living alone in the single life, etc. etc.

Edited April 29, 2011 by JoyfulLife

[Guest Sr. Rozalia]

Before I joined religious congregation, I was discerning it for 5 years.....no matter what I was doing, the thought of becoming religious never left. Deep down I knew that is what I should do with my life. Do you feel the same way?....God gave me the grace that upon arriving to the postulancy house, the overwhelming feeling of peace and being in the right place came upon me and pretty much stayed with me up to now. However, the decision of whether to go or not was one of the hardest ones I had to make.....IT WAS WORTH IT!
If the thought of becoming religious is there, it's go to come from Him, right?.....so, go for it, don't make Him wait
[quote name='InPersonaChriste' timestamp='1303749053' post='2232468']
So,

I have been discerning for 5 years and I have always wondered about that "feeling" you get in your heart when you just "know" that you are called to be one thing or another. The thing is, I am always so doubtful that when I feel something I pass it off. I am always I guess not trusting in God enough because I am worried that I will turn out to be one of those people who like the thought of religious life but are actually not called.

I dont know if this actually makes sense but I guess that typing it down helps me think it out.


In Persona Christe

Yoda
[/quote]

[Guest cincosechzehn]

(I apologize for the misspelling in my information - I will change this as soon as I'm able, as this is my first post. I know this has nothing to do with my actual post; I just really don't like typos.)
I have a question somewhat related to this -- hence why I'm posting here and not starting a new thread. Not simply a "how do you know," but rather [b]"how soon is too soon to know?"[/b]
[b]
[/b]
My concern with discernment is this: I am a neophyte (baptized, confirmed, communicated...a week ago! Hooray!), but have felt an attraction to religious life for months upon months (I'd say around March of 2010 was when I really started to look into it.)

I am aware enough that the excitement of being a part of the Church at long last can possibly cloud or confound what God is calling someone to do (you know, a well-intending over-enthusiasm), so the fact that this thought continues to cross my mind is something I wasn't comfortable telling anyone close to me until very recently.

How soon is too soon? There is a part of me that secretly hopes I am [i]not [/i]called to religious life (forgive my weakness -- there are still some things I couldn't imagine giving up just yet!), but this thought and attraction to religious life will not go away. I spoke to a priest recently who told me that the "waiting period" is two years (I assume after Confirmation.)

How would you, my "big brothers and sisters," handle this? Do you "put the thought on the back-burner," as it were, until a little later?

[carmenchristi]

[quote name='cincosechzehn' timestamp='1304672293' post='2237874']
(I apologize for the misspelling in my information - I will change this as soon as I'm able, as this is my first post. I know this has nothing to do with my actual post; I just really don't like typos.)
I have a question somewhat related to this -- hence why I'm posting here and not starting a new thread. Not simply a "how do you know," but rather [b]"how soon is too soon to know?"[/b]
[b]
[/b]
My concern with discernment is this: I am a neophyte (baptized, confirmed, communicated...a week ago! Hooray!), but have felt an attraction to religious life for months upon months (I'd say around March of 2010 was when I really started to look into it.)

I am aware enough that the excitement of being a part of the Church at long last can possibly cloud or confound what God is calling someone to do (you know, a well-intending over-enthusiasm), so the fact that this thought continues to cross my mind is something I wasn't comfortable telling anyone close to me until very recently.

How soon is too soon? There is a part of me that secretly hopes I am [i]not [/i]called to religious life (forgive my weakness -- there are still some things I couldn't imagine giving up just yet!), but this thought and attraction to religious life will not go away. I spoke to a priest recently who told me that the "waiting period" is two years (I assume after Confirmation.)

How would you, my "big brothers and sisters," handle this? Do you "put the thought on the back-burner," as it were, until a little later?
[/quote]

First of all CONGRATS on entering the Church! I would agree with the priest with whom you spoke and say that two years is a good and prudent period to wait, without being too long. The most important thing for you right now is to continue to grow in your relationship with Christ, laying a solid foundation on which you will build your life with Him. Most communities won't accept you as a neophyte, but if you really feel a strong attraction there is nothing keeping you from establishing contact with a religious institute, doing some retreats with them, getting to know them. I would definitely say take it slow, wait a couple of years. Also WRITE DOWN your thoughts and experiences! The journal that I kept in my period of "falling in love with Jesus" has really heped me through some tough times.... keeping it was one of my best decisions ever!
Prayers for you!

[the171]

[quote name='JoyfulLife' timestamp='1304031539' post='2234363']
I just came across this very thorough way of discerning...

[url="http://www.lafayettecarmelites.org/god_calling.php"]http://www.lafayette...god_calling.php[/url]
[/quote]


HEY. :D I'm discerning with that Carmel