Religious Life

[Sister Marie]

I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306701252' post='2247469']
I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie
[/quote]

Thank you for posting this, Sr. Marie! It is not the externals that matter, but the internal life dedicated to Christ.

Merci, merci, merci.

Dieu vous benisse!

[abrideofChrist]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306701252' post='2247469']
I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie
[/quote]

Amen, Sister! It's amazing how judgmental both religious and laity can be when looking at certain externals (even if they are approved and permitted by Rome). I have talked to religious who have anguished about whether to return to the habit as a whole community and decided that it helps weed out discerners who can't look beyond the clothes and who refuse to really have a hard look about what the true essence of religious life is (not necessarily modeled by those famous communities that have large classes of postulants every year). I have talked to religious in habit who have anguished about the abuses they suffer in their community (like being treated as disposable commodities with their retreats being interrupted by being on call because their livelihood depends on caring/teaching or whatever apostolate and they don't have enough warm bodies for a balanced lifestyle or others who sew till the wee hours of the morning because they don't havesufficient income.... ) Oh yes. I forgot that one community of male habited religious who are growing very fast and they basically are Feeneyites. Basically, one has to know where one truly fits with the abuses and all.

[faithcecelia]

When I began my discernment first time round I was very torn between 2 communities - Quidenham Carmel where I eventually entered, and the Community of Our Lady of Walsingham, who were the first community I visited. At the time, COLW were brand new - the 2 founding sisters were novices and the had one postulant. I loved them immediately and spent quite a lot of time visiting them for weekends, going on pilgrimages with them, etc etc. It was on their advice that I chose Quidenham as the Carmel I would visit, and Arundel as the Poor Clares. Very quickly, I realised that I was called to enclosure, but I still had to give an awful lot od discernment to be sure that I truely was answering a call to Carmel and that it wasnt just fear of entering a brand new, energetic and attractive new community (they have AMAZING denim habits with hooded scapulars rather than a veil! )

With hindsight now, I can see that at Q there was some negative talk about some of the other communities, especially those that sisters had transferred from following tough starts, mainly communities who had been slower making changed after V2 than Q had been. One UK Carmel are part-time habit wearers and have ensuite cells, this caused some, erm, 'talk' about whether they were really living poverty or not and were they ignoring tradition too much. I have spent some time learning about thios community while I am out, and while I don't feel called there at all, can see their point that the ensuite cells help them embrace solitude more fully - they have no reason to see each other at all between the last Office at night and Lauds the next morning.

I feel very strongly now that its about finding where is right for me, not for which is trendy, not for putting another community down or questioning their decisions. We all have slightly different beliefs and opinions on things, we need to know what God is calling us to, it is not our business or problem where He calls someone else.


When I was 14, and studying to become a full adult member of my former denomination, I was taught something that I continue to use through my life - somethjing that actually eventually led me to leave that denomination and vecome Catholic. It was: [i]You need to learn what the church teaches, then decide what parts you believe, what parts you can accept, and what parts you have doubt about. You then need to decide whether you can live with those doubts.[/i] I think this works for religious life too.

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1306703650' post='2247496']
When I was 14, and studying to become a full adult member of my former denomination, I was taught something that I continue to use through my life - somethjing that actually eventually led me to leave that denomination and vecome Catholic. It was: [i]You need to learn what the church teaches, then decide what parts you believe, what parts you can accept, and what parts you have doubt about. You then need to decide whether you can live with those doubts.[/i] I think this works for religious life too.
[/quote]

I love that! No matter what community anyone here enters - they will have doubts and disagreements about things - geez... I could write a list right now of things I disagree with but I accept them because my heart has been made for the spirit and charism of this community. I know also that my disagreement, my point of view is part of the community because my person is part of as well. The spirit, charism, and apostolate far outweigh any practical things that annoy, sadden, bother, or grate upon me. There is definitely a decision that must be made - not once, but everytime in obedience you are asked to do something against your natural inclination. It definitely is that decision that brings one to holiness in community life and in ones vocation. Thanks for sharing!

[Santa Cruz]

Sister Marie,

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Personally, I am friends with Religious who wear no habit at all, who wear a modified habit and who wear a traditional habit. But, as someone who has discerned a call to Religious life, it is important to me that the Community I enter wears a habit. Why is that? Well, for one, the habit is a clear symbol to myself and to others that I am a Bride of Christ. Also, I am influenced by what I am personally wearing and I do believe that what I wear has an effect on others. I do find that external matters have an effect on my interior.

It is also important to me that the Community I enter is faithful to the Magisterium on all matters. I do not agree with picking and choosing what one likes or does not like as this will inhibit the action of the Holy Spirit and can cause great damage. If there is something that one disagrees with, then it should be brought to one's Confessor with the intent of one's own conversion. I entirely disagree with voicing one's 'issues' with the Magisterium. Yes, we are all human and we all fall short, so no one will live out the perfect life but I do believe that one should try and not accept mediocrity as the end result.

I am so glad you mentioned that a Communities charism is more important than their prayer life! Please could you explain a bit more on this? Why not prayer or both? In my discernment, I came across Communities that said the charism is the most important and others that said the prayer life is the most important.
I am not at all qualified to answer that question until I celebrate my golden Jubilee God willing. One Community told me the charism will never change, but prayer life changes. Another Community told me that the prayer life will never change but the way the life is lived out will change. I reflected back upon my own life, to see what has been consistent throughout for me personally. It is my prayer life. So, in my discernment, I have paid particular attention to prayer within the Community and how the time of prayer 'sits' with me and my relationship with God. Surely, I also paid attention to the charism and what lie within my own heart, also looking at my own person.

One Sister whom I have tremendous respect for is Sister Barbara Long OP. What I see in Sister Barbara is a woman who is prayerful, obedient, humble and who serves the marginalized, the poor and outcast. She is strong but never rude. She does not gossip, she does not complain, she is obedient, she is honest and very hardworking in serving the Church. To me, that is a Sister. As a side note, Sister Barbara does not wear a habit and she lives individually.

Sister Marie, I would love to hear why your Community modified the habit? I appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for taking the time to share with us and thank you for your perseverance.

Edited May 29, 2011 by Santa Cruz

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

[quote name='abrideofChrist' timestamp='1306702605' post='2247491']
Amen, Sister! It's amazing how judgmental both religious and laity can be when looking at certain externals (even if they are approved and permitted by Rome). I have talked to religious who have anguished about whether to return to the habit as a whole community and decided that it helps weed out discerners who can't look beyond the clothes and who refuse to really have a hard look about what the true essence of religious life is (not necessarily modeled by those famous communities that have large classes of postulants every year). I have talked to religious in habit who have anguished about the abuses they suffer in their community (like being treated as disposable commodities with their retreats being interrupted by being on call because their livelihood depends on caring/teaching or whatever apostolate and they don't have enough warm bodies for a balanced lifestyle or others who sew till the wee hours of the morning because they don't havesufficient income.... ) Oh yes. I forgot that one community of male habited religious who are growing very fast and they basically are Feeneyites. Basically, one has to know where one truly fits with the abuses and all.
[/quote]

Hi! I don't want to change the topic subject but I thought I would share some information you might not know. I don't know what congregation of men you are speaking about but perhaps you don't know that the "Feenyites" have full approval by their bishop and are a Society of Apostolic Life? They were "regularized" under the tenure of a certain C. Ratzinger when he was the head of the CDF! The male Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary are not growing much at all, though. God bless you!

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='Sr. Mary Catharine' timestamp='1306709028' post='2247523']
Hi! I don't want to change the topic subject but I thought I would share some information you might not know. I don't know what congregation of men you are speaking about but perhaps you don't know that the "Feenyites" have full approval by their bishop and are a Society of Apostolic Life? They were "regularized" under the tenure of a certain C. Ratzinger when he was the head of the CDF! The male Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary are not growing much at all, though. God bless you!
[/quote]

Please, can you inform me, what is a "Feenyite"? Thank you!

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='Santa Cruz' timestamp='1306708612' post='2247520']
Sister Marie,

Thank you for sharing this with us.

Personally, I am friends with Religious who wear no habit at all, who wear a modified habit and who wear a traditional habit. But, as someone who has discerned a call to Religious life, it is important to me that the Community I enter wears a habit. Why is that? Well, for one, the habit is a clear symbol to myself and to others that I am a Bride of Christ. Also, I am influenced by what I am personally wearing and I do believe that what I wear has an effect on others. I do find that external matters have an effect on my interior.

It is also important to me that the Community I enter is faithful to the Magisterium on all matters. I do not agree with picking and choosing what one likes or does not like as this will inhibit the action of the Holy Spirit and can cause great damage. If there is something that one disagrees with, then it should be brought to one's Confessor with the intent of one's own conversion. I entirely disagree with voicing one's 'issues' with the Magisterium. Yes, we are all human and we all fall short, so no one will live out the perfect life but I do believe that one should try and not accept mediocrity as the end result.

I am so glad you mentioned that a Communities charism is more important than their prayer life! In my discernment, I came across Communities that said the charism is the most important and others that said the prayer life is the most important.
I am not at all qualified to answer that question until I celebrate my golden Jubilee God willing. One Community told me the charism will never change, but prayer life changes. Another Community told me that the prayer life will never change but the way the life is lived out will change. I reflected back upon my own life, to see what has been consistent throughout for me personally. It is my prayer life. So, in my discernment, I have paid particular attention to prayer within the Community and how the time of prayer 'sits' with me and my relationship with God.

One Sister whom I have tremendous respect for is Sister Barbara Long OP. What I see in Sister Barbara is a woman who is prayerful, obedient, humble and who serves the marginalized, the poor and outcast. She is strong but never rude. She does not gossip, she does not complain, she is obedient, she is honest and very hardworking in serving the Church. To me, that is a Sister. As a side note, Sister Barbara does not wear a habit and she lives individually.

Sister Marie, I would love to hear why your Community modified the habit? I appreciate hearing from you. Thank you for taking the time to share with us and thank you for your perseverance.
[/quote]

Dear Santa Cruz,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I agree there is right and wrong but there is also a temptation to put right and wrong on one's own opinions and that is where things get a little sticky. My community wears a habit. It is in our rule. The style of our habit is described in our Rule which has been approved by the Church. Is it the most beautiful habit I have ever seen? On one hand, no. On the other hand, it is my habit so it is the most beautiful to me. Either way, it is a "correct" habit - the Church has said so! The other thing I would bring up is the spirit behind the externals. I live with a sister who is very traditional but is completely uncharitable to everyone around her - actually she is downright mean. I live with another sister who is totally untraditional but is kind, patient, and full of love for her sisters and God's people. So... looks can be deceiving! The heart is important too!

You are absolutely right that externals do matter! I have heard many people who feel like it is only the "full habit" and nothing less. However, it was the Church who asked religious to update their habits. It is unbelievable sometimes when I hear people get down on the modified habit nuns when the Church was the one who asked us to modify in the Decree on the Renewal of Religious Life. They called us to adopt a habit that was "poor, simple, and becoming." I wouldn't, but I could, make the case that those who wear the traditional habit are the disobedient ones - because they did not update as the Church asked us to. Obviously, I do not feel that way! I feel that each congregation is called to what they are called to and that the full habit is beautiful and has its place as does the modified habit. I only say this as a way to contextualize this conversation on habits. Again - I do not feel that way!

Thank you for so graciously asking why my community modified our habit! We are apostolic sisters who serve God's people in education. As you can imagine, most Catholic schools do not have air conditioning. This is not the main reason, however, as temperatures hit the 90's in Philadelphia this week, I can't help but think of that first! haha. I don't know how our sisters used to wear surge during the summer with all the starch while still teaching children. Education is a full-time ministry and the full habit was not practical. There were sisters with open sores on their foreheads from the bonnet, passing out from the heat, getting infections from the thick stockings worn 12 hours a day. After the habit was modified it became very difficult to procure the habits. My community is quite large and there is no practical way for any sister(s) to be in charge of making habits. We ordered habits from a place that closed two years ago and now we are stuck trying to find somewhere to make our habits. Everytime we find a place - they go out of business after the first set of habits come out! We all look different but it isn't on purpose - it is because of poverty and simplicity. We still wear blue but the fabric and style are different due to the availability of the habits. However, what is still the same is that we all say the same prayers as we dress in the morning, we all wear a garment blessed by a priest, and we all wear the same crucifix and ring indicating our consecration to Christ and the Church. The inside of our ring reads, "Ego te Sponsabo" - "to you I am espoused." When a sister dies, after her viewing, her ring and crucifix are taken off and put away for the use of a future sister. It is a custom that is very meaningful to me as I know that I am wearing the ring and crucifix of a sister who built the community I now inherit. Our habit is poor - it does not cost a great deal and is easy to keep up. It is simple - one or two pieces - that do not require starching, dry cleaning, or any other special treatment. And it is becoming - we look like women religious - a modest and attractive (in a nunly way) habit that shows our consecration but allows us to do our work. It is a practical habit and it allows me to do the work of my institute while still witnessing to religious life in a radical way.

Hopefully, a few inches of material does not negate my entire vocation. However, I must say, I have felt that way after reading some comments here and elsewhere. Anyway, thank you for replying and asking! I hope some of this makes sense. God bless you!

[TeresaBenedicta]

Thank you for this, my dear Sister. Much of what you said has been on my heart and mind lately.

It's very easy for us who are on "the outside" of religious life (even if discerning!) to focus on the ideal. Ask any discerner and I'm sure they'll agree that there is no "perfect" community... yet when looking or discussing, the focus is on the 'ideal'. The ideal habit, the ideal prayer life, the ideal 'name what you will', etc. I know that I'm especially guilty of doing this sort of thing, no matter what the subject is... what can I say, it's the philosophy major in me! But when the ideal is not connected to reality and returned to reality... There can be a lot judgmental statements and conclusions made.

Reality is that, as we mention time in and time out, there is no 'perfect' community- in regards to externals... and internals. And the imperfections? Those are most of what is going to perfect us... not the 'perfect' aspects. The imperfect is used by God to perfect us. It is learning how to accept these imperfections and allow them to purify us... that's the difficult part!

Of course, I'm not advocating complacency or relativism! Just to recognize that God [i]does[/i] use the weak (and imperfect) to make the strong. And that we need to be careful when discussing the ideal that we don't forget that truth.

[Yaatee]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306710247' post='2247530']
Dear Santa Cruz,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I agree there is right and wrong but there is also a temptation to put right and wrong on one's own opinions and that is where things get a little sticky. My community wears a habit. It is in our rule. The style of our habit is described in our Rule which has been approved by the Church. Is it the most beautiful habit I have ever seen? On one hand, no. On the other hand, it is my habit so it is the most beautiful to me. Either way, it is a "correct" habit - the Church has said so! The other thing I would bring up is the spirit behind the externals. I live with a sister who is very traditional but is completely uncharitable to everyone around her - actually she is downright mean. I live with another sister who is totally untraditional but is kind, patient, and full of love for her sisters and God's people. So... looks can be deceiving! The heart is important too!

You are absolutely right that externals do matter! I have heard many people who feel like it is only the "full habit" and nothing less. However, it was the Church who asked religious to update their habits. It is unbelievable sometimes when I hear people get down on the modified habit nuns when the Church was the one who asked us to modify in the Decree on the Renewal of Religious Life. They called us to adopt a habit that was "poor, simple, and becoming." I wouldn't, but I could, make the case that those who wear the traditional habit are the disobedient ones - because they did not update as the Church asked us to. Obviously, I do not feel that way! I feel that each congregation is called to what they are called to and that the full habit is beautiful and has its place as does the modified habit. I only say this as a way to contextualize this conversation on habits. Again - I do not feel that way!

Thank you for so graciously asking why my community modified our habit! We are apostolic sisters who serve God's people in education. As you can imagine, most Catholic schools do not have air conditioning. This is not the main reason, however, as temperatures hit the 90's in Philadelphia this week, I can't help but think of that first! haha. I don't know how our sisters used to wear surge during the summer with all the starch while still teaching children. Education is a full-time ministry and the full habit was not practical. There were sisters with open sores on their foreheads from the bonnet, passing out from the heat, getting infections from the thick stockings worn 12 hours a day. After the habit was modified it became very difficult to procure the habits. My community is quite large and there is no practical way for any sister(s) to be in charge of making habits. We ordered habits from a place that closed two years ago and now we are stuck trying to find somewhere to make our habits. Everytime we find a place - they go out of business after the first set of habits come out! We all look different but it isn't on purpose - it is because of poverty and simplicity. We still wear blue but the fabric and style are different due to the availability of the habits. However, what is still the same is that we all say the same prayers as we dress in the morning, we all wear a garment blessed by a priest, and we all wear the same crucifix and ring indicating our consecration to Christ and the Church. The inside of our ring reads, "Ego te Sponsabo" - "to you I am espoused." When a sister dies, after her viewing, her ring and crucifix are taken off and put away for the use of a future sister. It is a custom that is very meaningful to me as I know that I am wearing the ring and crucifix of a sister who built the community I now inherit. Our habit is poor - it does not cost a great deal and is easy to keep up. It is simple - one or two pieces - that do not require starching, dry cleaning, or any other special treatment. And it is becoming - we look like women religious - a modest and attractive (in a nunly way) habit that shows our consecration but allows us to do our work. It is a practical habit and it allows me to do the work of my institute while still witnessing to religious life in a radical way.

Hopefully, a few inches of material does not negate my entire vocation. However, I must say, I have felt that way after reading some comments here and elsewhere. Anyway, thank you for replying and asking! I hope some of this makes sense. God bless you!
[/quote]

Sister,

I am blown away by your charitable responses.

I think that your community's attitudes towards the habit are very reasonable and in accord with church teaching.

I think that the giving up and 'recycling' of the crucifix and rule are the epitome of the expression of poverty.

Only one comment: your uncharitable 'room'-mate must be very trying. It is possible that she is depressed, suffering from other mental illness, or, if older, showing early signs of dementia. .

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306701252' post='2247469']
I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie
[/quote]

Thank you very much, Sr. Marie, for this beautiful insight. It is so easy to forget that each and every community has different expressions of the same goal--to belong totally to Christ and live for Him alone. I have come to the conclusion that it is not what the Sister wears that makes a Sister, but what is in her heart that makes her truly orthodox in the Church. I was not always this way, though. I used to think that only habited Sisters were real religious--a real flawed way of thinking--but my mind was changed when I met a very beautiful and kind non-habited Sister who came to our diocese to give a retreat. She was glowing because she was imbued with the Holy Spirit and you could see that in everything she did. She had a huge smile on her face and appeared truly happy--this was a real bride of Christ!

I pray that none of my responses on this forum or elsewhere were uncharitable. I guess I'm sort of a "doubting Thomas" when it comes to these things as I had to see it for myself to know that the habit doesn't make the Sister. Everyone kept telling me this, but I didn't want to hear it. I can remember a thread I made under a very old, retired screen name that was about non-habited Sisters and the lack of charity they showed to those who wore the habit. I think it is a two way street. If habited Sisters don't have respect for their non-habited counterparts, it reflects poorly on them, and vice versa. We must all remember that we are daughters (and sons, if men are reading this) of God and must be charitable and loving towards our brothers and sisters. Christ does not care about what we are wearing as long as we keep His commandments and love God with all our minds and hearts--today's Gospel actually!

I hope that if I do become a Sister (God-willing), I will continue to look beyond the dress. I do feel, though, that God is calling me to a habited community, but I do not have disrespect for those who are called to walk with Christ without one. To each his/her own.

Again, thank you, dear Sister, for your message. It is very powerful, moving, and thought-provoking. May God bless you always.

[Lisa]

Thank you Sister! You definitely gave us all things to think about as we discern. I am currently discerning a community with a full-habit, but have also looked at some dear sisters in Northern Indiana: the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration. Before discerning, they were the only sisters I had ever seen, so I never associated the modified habit with being less faithful to the church. Especially for some of their nursing habits, those few inches off mean they can serve God's people better! So thank you very much for reminding us that "the habit does not make the nun!" Your description of why your community modified the habit was inspiring.

May we all see beyond the externals and look only at the heart of the community and God's call for each one of us.

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='Yaatee' timestamp='1306712190' post='2247539']
Sister,

I am blown away by your charitable responses.

I think that your community's attitudes towards the habit are very reasonable and in accord with church teaching.

I think that the giving up and 'recycling' of the crucifix and rule are the epitome of the expression of poverty.

Only one comment: your uncharitable 'room'-mate must be very trying. It is possible that she is depressed, suffering from other mental illness, or, if older, showing early signs of dementia. .
[/quote]


She is trying but of course, she does more for my vocation and religious resolve than the most charitable sister with whom I live... the challenge is one to call me to virtue... but it is also a lesson of the difference in appearance and heart. Jesus had to do this all the time with the Pharisees who cleaned the outside of their cups but left the inside full of filth - metaphorically obviously. I pray for her and love her, but, yes, she is trying. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/amen.gif[/img]

[Sister Marie]

[quote name='Lisa' timestamp='1306714745' post='2247553']
Thank you Sister! You definitely gave us all things to think about as we discern. I am currently discerning a community with a full-habit, but have also looked at some dear sisters in Northern Indiana: the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration. Before discerning, they were the only sisters I had ever seen, so I never associated the modified habit with being less faithful to the church. Especially for some of their nursing habits, those few inches off mean they can serve God's people better! So thank you very much for reminding us that "the habit does not make the nun!" Your description of why your community modified the habit was inspiring.

May we all see beyond the externals and look only at the heart of the community and God's call for each one of us.

[/quote]

Yes, a few inches and layers do make a difference sometimes! This week I was exhausted in a hot classroom with all those teenagers - ugh, gross[img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/blink.gif[/img]. I could have gone to sleep right when I arrived home after dismissal each night because the heat took so much out of me. I can't even imagine what it would be like with even more clothes on than I already wear. Back in the day - teachers taught from their desk and students did seat work and workbooks/sheets. Now teachers have to "edu-tain (education + entertainment)" which means not a moment all day off your feet or without a million kids all over you. It takes a lot of energy in school but then after you have prayers, dinner, charges, and recreation - plus more schoolwork. It is a very active life that calls for a lot of energy.

I wanted to say, before I entered the convent, I took care of our sisters in our convent/nursing home for them as a nurse's aide. When I was a novice I continued that service and I was forever (gasp) hiking up my habit to make room for my knees to bend to lift without breaking my back, haha... or my habit. One time a dear sister who was suffering greatly grabbed my collar so tightly I couldn't get out from her grip. We tried with no avail to get her hand out of my collar but the collar was too tight to peel her hand away. The woman working with me had to unzip my habit to get Sister's hand out of my habit! It was hilarious. Not everything can be perfect! [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/nunpray.gif[/img]

[Shana]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306715606' post='2247556']
She is trying but of course, she does more for my vocation and religious resolve than the most charitable sister with whom I live... the challenge is one to call me to virtue... but it is also a lesson of the difference in appearance and heart. Jesus had to do this all the time with the Pharisees who cleaned the outside of their cups but left the inside full of filth - metaphorically obviously. I pray for her and love her, but, yes, she is trying. [img]http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/public/style_emoticons/default/amen.gif[/img]




[/quote]

I just graduated from college and thought I should add here my experience of having the same roommate for three years. Now, I care enough about my relationship with God to be drawn to go to daily Mass, make a daily Eucharistic holy hour and am attracted to celibacy because I am in love with Jesus. I generally wouldn't consider myself a horrible person. But I think mid-year through my first year of living with this roommate I began to develop an irritation toward her and it seemed to intensify. Now, she was objectively not a bad roommate so I was wondering this year what was wrong with me and why it seemed like I couldn't help but seriously dislike her and have an uncharitable attitude toward her and generally just be quite irritated. A little while ago I was doing some research online because I was starting to think that perhaps I have a mental illness or something that I am unaware of and in my search I would find that introverts (which I am) are territorial and have a need for their own space. This seemed to strike a cord, I feel that sharing a room was so hard for me because it felt like I had a "need" for my own room which was not being met. After graduating and being away from my roommate for a few weeks it seems that being removed from the situation of having to live with her my strong aversion toward her/ my negative feelings are gone. I have apologized for being distant and cold and it seems I am able to see her more clearly for the gracious, sweet girl that she is. But when I was living with her it seemed impossible for me to see her like this. And I was praying to be a decent person but it didn't seem to work. Now, I don't think that my being mean (at least in attitude) toward her is completely excusable, but I do think that my introversion had A LOT to do with it.

Now, I wonder if perhaps if this sister and and other mean sisters like her are perhaps introverted and not having their need for their own space met? Back to myself, my only other experience of sharing a room with people for more than say, a week, was at a summer camp job. There I didn't experience any irritation. But then again that was only a couple months and I know with my roommate it took more than a couple of months for any issues with my emotions to develop. I don't have enough other experiences of living in community to compare against yet but I have a feeling that in a long-term situation if I were to live in community having my own bedroom would be an absolute must for me lest I turn into I totally irate, messed up person. Now, I don't feel that God is calling me to religious life (not for this reason- I feel positively way more attracted to the charism of consecrated virginity) but I think that in my life I may be called to live in community at least for periods of time. Hypothetically if I were called to be a sister, it would be an absolute must for me to have my own room. I think I read somewhere that not all sisters have their own room (the Missionaries of Charity I read). I think if I were in that situation it would equal a very cranky and mean, uncharitable Shana! Just throwing that out there. You never know how hard an uncharitable person you are living with could be praying to God that He would relieve her of her irritation toward the people she lives with.

Edited May 30, 2011 by Shana

[Indwelling Trinity]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306701252' post='2247469']
I've never started a new topic about something, haha, but I've read some things - here and other places - recently that I've really been praying about.

It's a really exciting but difficult time in the Church to be discerning a vocation to the religious life. Unless you discern to enter one of the three or four communities that have classes of 10 or 20 postulants each year, you are going to be forced to live with complete uncertainty as to the future of your community and your religious life. I wish God called me to one of them - it would have been much easier for me. The consequences of this uncertainty are totally unpredictable and unknown to anyone but God. The bottom line is the community you enter will change while you are a member - no matter what. You may not be in charge of the decisions that are made and you may have to just do what you are told - even if it is incorrect (obviously you don't obey immoral things but practices that have no moral value are a different story).

I know - I'm trying to get to the point... the point is that the externals that are certainly important are not the heart of what makes a community. To be judged on externals that can/will change and transform with no moral value is an injustice at the least. The importance of a community, at it's heart, is it's charism, apostolate, and spirituality. There is no other community that I have found that has the same charism, spirit, and apostolate as my community does and it is written forever on my heart. So - if their veils are not long enough, habits not penitential enough, prayers not beautiful enough - it is still where I belong. Each community is like a piece of the puzzle of the mystery of Christ and the Church. Each charism and spirituality is essential to understanding the mystery of Christ in the world. So what if a community is not "faithful" right now? How can their gift be preserved if not through new vocations? Does cutting them down help, or, should we be praying that they are able to return to the true spirit of their particular institute so that we can all benefit through their gift? If it is the latter, we must pray and show support. How can we so easily dismiss them? I say this because I do the same thing sometimes. I am not without fault in dismissing people and communities that I don't believe "have it right." The truth is that NO community has it right. It's impossible. Some of our faults are more obvious than others though.

In my own life, there is a community nearby who is very liberal and I really can't stand them most of the time. At the same time, there is a community who wears a full habit who I studied with... not a single sister talked to me the entire time I took a class with them. I heard them talking about my habit and criticizing my community openly. What they didn't know was that it was the best my community was able to afford for the number of sisters we have to clothe. We were living poverty and simplicity. I was uncharitable to the first group of sisters and sisters were uncharitable to me. We forgive and move on.

What I'm trying to say is that we have to be patient and open with ourselves and others - not tolerating things that are wrong, but accepting that we are all sinners. We all miss the mark in one way or another. That is part of the cross of religious life. If you haven't been in religious life, it is easy sometimes to make judgments and be vocal about what is "right" and "wrong." However, all congregations of religious life have the SAME acceptance of their Rules from the Vatican. That means that the community in full habit and monastic schedule and the habitless, independent living community have the same acceptance by the Church. No one has to agree with either of them - but to condemn or judge them puts one persons opinion above the decree of Church. Put yourself in the position of the sisters in those communities who are faithfully trying to save their communities because that spirit and charism is written on their hearts forever as well. What would you do? It isn't as cut and dry as it seems.

It isn't wrong to question practices... It isn't wrong to say, "I wouldn't wear that if you paid me." It is wrong to judge the hearts and beliefs of women who have given up everything to follow Christ by the way their community dresses or prays. I have never been offended by someone saying to me, "Why did your community modify your habit?" Please ask! haha. I have, however, been deeply hurt by hearing, "Oh, they have a modified habit, they aren't real sisters." This is an appeal for charity and for honest discussion. It's great... I'm just trying to introduce another way of looking at religious life and communities that might have more spiritual value.

I hope no one takes this as a singling out - it isn't. I have been thinking like this for years and I've seen things recently that have led me in my personal and online life to feel like I needed to say something. So anyway, I am continually amazed and graced by your reflections on here and your dedication to following Christ. I ask you to pray for my perseverance as I continue to pray for your vocations. God bless!

Sister Marie
[/quote]

Dear Sister Marie:

Thank you for this beautiful post. It took me a long time as a young sister to look beyond the externals. By nature i tend towards what is more traditional and yet overtime i had to re-examine my attitudes in light of the Gospel message and That message is Love. Love can cross every boundry that separates people from God and each other. When my end comes and i stand before God, I do not think he will be concerned about what habit i wore, or what particular customs i observed....What he will ask, is if i have loved.

Yes when i wear my habit , it is still a traditional Carmelite habit, sans Toque. But that is not the issue here. St. Paul to the Colossians 3:12-14, Tells us clearly what our habits both interior and exterior should be. IF we follow his injunction then we will have no fear in standing before God. In living this injunction we will no longer focus on our differences, but on our commonality as Christians and religious men and women. We will then truly be able to embrace each other knowing that we each radiate different facets of the same diamond which is Christs body,the Church and as one united body we will then give glory to the Father.

Love brings unity. Love cover a multitude of sins with heartfelt mercy. Love reflects The unity of the Trinity. and in Love is our salvation....

If i learn this simple lesson, then when God comes for me, i will have no fear, but will be content to offer Him my nothingness with the knowledge that no matter how poorly i have succeeded, i have tried to love as He did. And then i shall know Mercy.....

just my two cents...

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1306775012' post='2247680']
. When my end comes and i stand before God, I do not think he will be concerned about what habit i wore, or what particular customs i observed....What he will ask, is if i have loved.

[/quote]


Think this bears repeating, thank you.

[Santa Cruz]

[quote name='Sister Marie' timestamp='1306710247' post='2247530']
I agree there is right and wrong but there is also a temptation to put right and wrong on one's own opinions and that is where things get a little sticky.[/quote]


I hear ya Sister! It can get confusing when people push their personal opinion as the only correct way and also when the Magisterium asks that we make a change and persons either refuse to budge moaning and groaning or they go to the opposite extreme throwing out the baby with the bath water. It seems it is an issue of pride and a lack of docility to the Magisterium and ultimately to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.



[quote]My community wears a habit. It is in our rule. The style of our habit is described in our Rule which has been approved by the Church. Is it the most beautiful habit I have ever seen? On one hand, no. On the other hand, it is my habit so it is the most beautiful to me. Either way, it is a "correct" habit - the Church has said so! [/quote]

I think it is apparent that the Church 'approves' the habits and veils which are shorter if we look at Mother M. Clare from the Apostles of the Sacred Heart, who wears a 'modified' habit and was appointed by the Holy Father to organize the Apostolic Visitation and to write a report on the findings. A friend of mine who is with the Apostles shared with me that when she goes to meetings with religious in a traditional habit, they ignore her and do not welcome her among themselves. Likewise, when she goes to meetings with Sisters who do not wear a habit, she is also not accepted. Uh, are we not Christians? How childish! Sad.

[quote]The other thing I would bring up is the spirit behind the externals. I live with a sister who is very traditional but is completely uncharitable to everyone around her - actually she is downright mean. I live with another sister who is totally untraditional but is kind, patient, and full of love for her sisters and God's people. So... looks can be deceiving! The heart is important too! [/quote]

I hear ya on this too! The Desert Fathers speak on this, that the monk who is not following the rules but acting with charity is more correct than the monk who obeys the rules and lacks in charity. Our Lord Himself tells us, that He desires mercy and not sacrifice. I have spent time in religious life, the monastic life and this was my greatest struggle, not internalizing the meanness and lack of charity exhibited by some of the Sisters. I would allow it to affect me and would carry it with me for too long. My Confessor at the time told me with laughter that the monastery he was in prior to coming to his present Community received a report after their Visitation by the Superior General that "there was no evidence of charity in the Community." The monastery was closed and the monks sent to various houses within the Order. I hope someday that I can get to the place of my former Confessor, to be able to laugh at the ridiculous meanness that can poison relationships, families and communities. Because, that is what it is, petty and laughter is a sign that you give it no power over you. And he is a fun loving, gentle, wise yet firm monk that one would never suspect the horrific life he endured at his first monastery.

[quote]You are absolutely right that externals do matter! I have heard many people who feel like it is only the "full habit" and nothing less. However, it was the Church who asked religious to update their habits. It is unbelievable sometimes when I hear people get down on the modified habit nuns when the Church was the one who asked us to modify in the Decree on the Renewal of Religious Life. They called us to adopt a habit that was "poor, simple, and becoming." I wouldn't, but I could, make the case that those who wear the traditional habit are the disobedient ones - because they did not update as the Church asked us to. Obviously, I do not feel that way! I feel that each congregation is called to what they are called to and that the full habit is beautiful and has its place as does the modified habit. I only say this as a way to contextualize this conversation on habits. Again - I do not feel that way! [/quote]

You raise a very good point. On the other hand, the Church asked to modify, not do away with? As far as Communities that have chosen to wear secular clothes, I cannot judge as I am not a member of the Community, am not in a position of authority in the Church, and neither do I wear a habit myself. I can only speak of what I desire personally as a result of my own discernment in hearing where God is calling me to serve Him in the Church.

[quote]Thank you for so graciously asking why my community modified our habit! We are apostolic sisters who serve God's people in education. As you can imagine, most Catholic schools do not have air conditioning. This is not the main reason, however, as temperatures hit the 90's in Philadelphia this week, I can't help but think of that first! haha. I don't know how our sisters used to wear surge during the summer with all the starch while still teaching children. Education is a full-time ministry and the full habit was not practical. There were sisters with open sores on their foreheads from the bonnet, passing out from the heat, getting infections from the thick stockings worn 12 hours a day. After the habit was modified it became very difficult to procure the habits. My community is quite large and there is no practical way for any sister(s) to be in charge of making habits. We ordered habits from a place that closed two years ago and now we are stuck trying to find somewhere to make our habits. Everytime we find a place - they go out of business after the first set of habits come out! We all look different but it isn't on purpose - it is because of poverty and simplicity. We still wear blue but the fabric and style are different due to the availability of the habits. However, what is still the same is that we all say the same prayers as we dress in the morning, we all wear a garment blessed by a priest, and we all wear the same crucifix and ring indicating our consecration to Christ and the Church. The inside of our ring reads, "Ego te Sponsabo" - "to you I am espoused." When a sister dies, after her viewing, her ring and crucifix are taken off and put away for the use of a future sister. It is a custom that is very meaningful to me as I know that I am wearing the ring and crucifix of a sister who built the community I now inherit. Our habit is poor - it does not cost a great deal and is easy to keep up. It is simple - one or two pieces - that do not require starching, dry cleaning, or any other special treatment. And it is becoming - we look like women religious - a modest and attractive (in a nunly way) habit that shows our consecration but allows us to do our work. It is a practical habit and it allows me to do the work of my institute while still witnessing to religious life in a radical way.

Hopefully, a few inches of material does not negate my entire vocation. However, I must say, I have felt that way after reading some comments here and elsewhere. Anyway, thank you for replying and asking! I hope some of this makes sense. God bless you!
[/quote]

Thank you for sharing about your habit and it's history. You know, when I am caught up in talking with someone, in caring for them, being present to them, I do not notice what they are wearing. Yes, I admire attire as I appreciate style and beauty but not in the sense of judging as "appropriate". Often I hear persons complaining about others who wear revealing clothing to Church...Yes, I do believe that we should respect our own bodies and also be mindful of others when we choose our attire. I also believe in educating people on the "Theology of the Body". But, to go to Church and judge other people for wearing this or that is judging one's neighbor. Are we there to worship God or to cast mean glances and hold hatred in our hearts because a female is wearing a revealing shirt? The Vatican handles this well by having signs OUTSIDE and guards posted OUTSIDE to inform persons about the appropriate attire. They do not go running around inside the Vatican telling people their skirt or blouse is too revealing. It is dealt with in the proper place, outside. Now as a Religious education teacher or a parent...when you have a personal relationship with a child and a responsibility for rearing the child, then it is necessary to address clothing the body or in RCIA or on-going formation, or as a loving friend or mentor. As an outsider, a stranger or without a personal relationship or a responsibility for someone's well-being, it is not our place to run around judging what another person is wearing.

I am sorry Sister Marie that you have to experience such mean and petty behavior from persons within your own Church. It is sad that we do this to ourselves, to our own brothers and sisters in Christ.

Thank you again for all that you have shared with us! I hope cooler weather comes to PA soon!

Edited May 31, 2011 by Santa Cruz

[jruss]

This topic reminds me of a nice story from the Nashville Dominicans (btw even they modified their habits post vatican 2). There is a professed sister in Nashville that just joined from another community about a year ago. This particular sister had been professed for years (guessing over 15 or 20)with a more liberal order. She got to wear the habit for 14 days as a novice before her community abandoned habits all together. But this sister loved her community and religious life and eventually came to be on the CARA team. She was completely content where she was in her life, but when she visited Nashville as part of the CARA study she knew she had to join there.

She is back on the CARA team as a ND and my daughter (a novice) was telling me what a blessing this sister has been to her because of her wisdom and her testimony. This sister has shared with my daughter about how many beautiful and authentic vocations there are among the so called liberal orders, as witnessed during her years in religious life and through her work on the study. She says in most cases the women responsible for the poor decisions in orders have since left.