The Vocation Of Marriage

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='she_who_is_not' timestamp='1307116816' post='2249479']
For example, Bls. Louis and Zelie Martin. What if they had not been open to marriage?
[/quote]

Or, what if they had continued with their Josephite marriage? We would not have St. Therese! Thank God for the priest who told them to discontinue their celibacy and have children as God intended.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='Tally Marx' timestamp='1307075538' post='2249392']
With these lines in mind, I have a question for no one in particular and everyone in general:
Is being in love with someone enough of a reason to "give up" on religious life? In other words, if you really love someone, does this mean that you are not called to the religious life?
[/quote]


In the 2yrs between deciding I wanted to enter, and being in the financial position to be able to, I got together with a man who I had had 'chemistry' with for years. He knew I was discerning and we talked about it. We both felt that for discernment to be true and complete, I needed to discern all options, so we began a slow and tentative relationship. After a short while I began to feel it wasn't right, he then told me the next time we met that while he loved me, he felt I was somehow 'untouchable', that he was doing wrong by holding or kissing me.

This experience in no way damaged my religious vocation and I believe actually strengthened it - in spite of the love of a good Catholic man, I still felt God wanted me as His own - [i]and the man had discerned so too. [/i]He has actually just got engaged in the last few weeks and I feel so happy to be able to call them both my friends, and to know he has someone to love him in the way I cannot.

[LadyOfSorrows]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1307117597' post='2249486']

This experience in no way damaged my religious vocation and I believe actually strengthened it - in spite of the love of a good Catholic man, I still felt God wanted me as His own - [i]and the man had discerned so too. [/i]He has actually just got engaged in the last few weeks and I feel so happy to be able to call them both my friends, and to know he has someone to love him in the way I cannot.
[/quote]

Beautiful! I feel as if I'm going through something similar...a priest once told me that he needed to take a break from the seminary...to date. He had never dated before, and the experience of loving a woman helped him come to the realization of what God was calling him to do.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='LadyOfSorrows' timestamp='1307121475' post='2249496']
Beautiful! I feel as if I'm going through something similar...a priest once told me that he needed to take a break from the seminary...to date. He had never dated before, and the experience of loving a woman helped him come to the realization of what God was calling him to do.
[/quote]

Conversely, i have a friend who years ago was in seminary. He came home for the summer and got back into the youth group, telling them all about his experiences in seminary etc. there was a new family in the parish but he didnt really get to know them that much. He returned to seminary and a week or so later told his tutor that he kept thinking God was telling him to go and marry this new girl he didn't even really know! His tutor obviously recognised his true vocation and told him to go and do it! 20yrs later he is married to her, with grown daughters of his own, and actively involved in youth ministry!

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='faithcecelia' timestamp='1307117597' post='2249486']
In the 2yrs between deciding I wanted to enter, and being in the financial position to be able to, I got together with a man who I had had 'chemistry' with for years. He knew I was discerning and we talked about it. We both felt that for discernment to be true and complete, I needed to discern all options, so we began a slow and tentative relationship. After a short while I began to feel it wasn't right, he then told me the next time we met that while he loved me, he felt I was somehow 'untouchable', that he was doing wrong by holding or kissing me.
[/quote]

There was this guy I dated for close to three years, before ending our relationship to discern the religious life more seriously. I loved him very much, but I also liked the religious life, had for a very long time, and been told by many I have the qualities needed to be a Sister. I felt that I needed to take time to look at it and truly give God a chance. So, I broke up with him. He understood, and said that he'd wait for me until I came to know, definitively, where God is calling me.
I've been actively discerning the religious life for two years now. I love the religious life. With greater knowledge of it, has come a greater appreciation for it. I wanted (and want) to be a Sister. I'm still not 100% what my vocation is, but I decided to join; surely if it wasn't meant, I wouldn't be able to stay! I even found a community I love and want to join (SsEWs).
But, recently, several things have happened. Among other things, I've been having a lot of trouble seeing my Sisters, and was asked to wait a year before requesting my application because of this. Also...my ex boyfriend (I'll call him Tobias) is still waiting. He's been, recently, casually looking into the priesthood. But he still loves me, and I'm afraid it's hurting him very very much, the whole ordeal.
As for myself, I've tried detachment. Tobias has never been pushy or unnecessarily distracting, and I've tried everything I know to detach. But, I haven't been able to. He's as holy a guy as they come; I've found it impossible not to be attracted to him. I love him, and the married life, and the religious life. I have no idea what to do, and the whole situation has been getting to me badly, spiritually and emotionally, for the past six months. I'm a mess. Any advice?

(in case anyone is wondering: yes, I do have an SD. He's in Rome right now, though)

[vee]

marriage!!!! there are some hawt and holy guys that Id marry and have 20 kids with.. Marriage ftw!!!

Edited June 5, 2011 by vee8

[FutureSister2009]

A friend of mine has gotten engaged! She's been waiting a long time for this! I'm so happy for her and not at all jealous because now that I know what my calling is, I've accepted it and I'm happy with where my life will go

[MissScripture]

[quote name='LadyOfSorrows' timestamp='1307121475' post='2249496']
Beautiful! I feel as if I'm going through something similar...a priest once told me that he needed to take a break from the seminary...to date. He had never dated before, and the experience of loving a woman helped him come to the realization of what God was calling him to do.
[/quote]
I had a professor in college who was bound and determined he was to be a priest the entire time he was growing up. He refused to date in high school, because he "knew" he was going to be a priest. Well, his first round of seminary didn't go so well, so he left for a while, joined the military for a bit, got done with that, went BACK to the seminary, and STILL couldn't make it work, at which point, he finally, for the first time considered marriage. And now, he's happily married.

[faithcecelia]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1307302377' post='2250210']
I had a professor in college who was bound and determined he was to be a priest the entire time he was growing up. He refused to date in high school, because he "knew" he was going to be a priest. Well, his first round of seminary didn't go so well, so he left for a while, joined the military for a bit, got done with that, went BACK to the seminary, and STILL couldn't make it work, at which point, he finally, for the first time considered marriage. And now, he's happily married.
[/quote]

I think to some extent we all pray 'Lord, [i]my[/i] will be done'! Its only when we truely open ourselves up to God's will, and allow him to speak to our hearts, and[i] listen[/i] that we really get to know our true vocation, and when we find it we realise we could never truely be happy in any other state. I wanted so much to marry a good Catholic man and raise a big Catholic family, but once I accepted my calling I realised I could never be so happy in any other way of life.

[Sarah147]

I thought this was interesting about marriage and consecrated life: [url="http://patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2010/05/which-is-superior-marriage-or.html"]http://patrickmadrid.blogspot.com/2010/05/which-is-superior-marriage-or.html[/url]