How To Conquer Temptations To Lust

[Papist]

Daily confession

[ameliabedelia]

This is powerful stuff: [url="http://www.angelicwarfare.org/"]http://www.angelicwarfare.org[/url]

I was enrolled at a retreat with the NDs. All the NDs are enrolled and most Dominican priests in the US.

Once enrolled you:
-wear the blessed metal or wear the blessed cord around your waist
-say 15 Hail Marys each day
-pray these prayers:

[b]The Prayer to St. Thomas for Purity[/b]
Chosen lily of innocence, pure St. Thomas,
who kept chaste the robe of baptism
and became an angel in the flesh after being girded by two angels,
I implore you to commend me to Jesus, the Spotless Lamb,
and to Mary, the Queen of Virgins.
Gentle protector of my purity, ask them that I,
who wear the holy sign of your victory over the flesh,
may also share your purity,
and after imitating you on earth
may at last come to be crowned with you among the angels. Amen.

[b]The Prayer of St. Thomas for Purity[/b]
Dear Jesus,
I know that every perfect gift,
and especially that of chastity,
depends on the power of Your providence.
Without You a mere creature can do nothing.
Therefore, I beg You to defend by Your grace
the chastity and purity of my body and soul.
And if I have ever sensed or imagined anything
that could stain my chastity and purity,
blot it out, Supreme Lord of my powers,
that I may advance with a pure heart in Your love and service,
offering myself on the most pure altar of Your divinity
all the days of my life. Amen.

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='tinytherese' timestamp='1313610656' post='2290022']
Try reading Clean of Heart by Rosemarie Scott. It has over fifty meditations on practicing chastity with tips.
[/quote]

I bought this book, too. The meditations are very useful.

[BG45]

To give another serious one...go get another degree. Study hardcore. Become so exhausted you can't be lustful.

[brianthephysicist]

I found that asking both the Blessed Mother and to St. Joseph for help with this helped me tremendously.

I really found it a lot easier to give women the respect they deserve when I started contemplating aspects of Mary's life, things like her Immaculate Conception, the Virgin Birth, the piercing of her heart, etc. I thought a lot about how God didn't just appear, but He was born. There is so much beauty in Mary, being the Ark of the New Covenant. Knowing that [i]all[/i] women share a part in that womanhood really blows my mind some days.

I also spent a lot of time thinking about St. Joseph as a role model for my manhood. I often think of how he lived his life; I've learned so much from him about what I should be striving for if I want to live up to my (or at least what I believe is my) vocation of husband and father. I think the most useful thing I have learned is discipline. I've found that the discipline necessary to achieve purity of heart is not just a subsection of my discipline. Once I realized this and began working towards discipline in all areas of my life, I was able to build up strength and it made withstanding my temptations easier.

Some of the tools that I used to grow stronger in my discipline include waking up much earlier than I need to in order to attend daily Mass, fasting, cleaning (I mean who actually [i]wants[/i] to vacuum, dust, wash windows, etc.), walking somewhere instead of driving, weeding in the garden, etc. I can't remember anywhere near all of them. The major idea was that with all of these things, it would be much simpler and easier to just not take that extra effort. The self-mastery I learned gives me confidence to withstand my temptations to lust.

A bit long winded, but I hope it was helpful.

[sixpence]

I have had Major problems with this in the past.... it has been a long difficult road, but I'm learning to deal. When I feel tempted, I pray to God for help, and I also remind myself of how awful I have felt in the past after giving in to lustful thoughts or actions... this seems to do the trick for me.

I have found that having any alcohol ESPECIALLY alone (ex. having a glass of wine after getting home from work) causes this temptation to arise much more frequently so I have been trying to avoid it.

[Theresita Nerita]

I've had major problems too. Lately I've been better, although far from perfect.

What helps me is to remember that God is not far away but actually in my heart. If instead of limiting my prayer to morning and evening I talk to God constantly (not out loud... ) I then remember that each of my words and actions is being done literally right in front of Jesus's face.

Also, what's actually really helped me is realizing (slowly) that the Christian life is NOT all fun and games, and even though it would be much more fun to give in to temptation, in choosing to do the right thing I'm choosing to suffer. That way when I feel that twinge of boredom (or frustration or what have you!) instead of letting it scare me I realize this is "carrying the cross" in a small way. That thought always helps. In an incomplete way, it's like giving God your chastity as a priest does.

B/c I think one of the reasons we struggle with lust today is that we're taught that pleasure means youre doing things right and pain means you're doing things wrong. But this happiness-worship isn't the Christian point of view - Christ suffered, not because he was doing something wrong but bc he was doing something right.

[sixpence]

[quote name='Theresita Nerita' timestamp='1315430185' post='2301771']
Also, what's actually really helped me is realizing (slowly) that the Christian life is NOT all fun and games.
[/quote]

This too!!! When I first started to put a serious effort into controlling this temptation, I easily became frustrated... I thought it would be super easy if I just set my mind to it... but after failing many times I got very frustrated. Only after this did I start to realize that this was never going to completely go away. That was when I was able to finally progress in the right direction (only with God's help).

That reminds me of another thing I wanted to mention. Self-control is great.....as long as it doesn't lead to pride. For me, the second I felt that I didn't need to rely on God's grace to help me was the same second I failed.

[MissyP89]

Some stuff that's been kicking around in the back of my head...

When I fall, I'm choosing selfishness over selflessness. I'm taking love and basically twisting it so it's all about [i]me -- my [/i]desires and [i]my [/i]whims.

And when you're involved with someone else, there's a certain fidelity involved. If you're going to be chaste, it should mean both in what limits you set as a pair and what you'll avoid on your own. This is something I'm still working on.

[BG45]

[quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1315530148' post='2302356']

That reminds me of another thing I wanted to mention. Self-control is great.....as long as it doesn't lead to pride. For me, the second I felt that I didn't need to rely on God's grace to help me was the same second I failed.
[/quote]

Yes!

[BigJon16]

Ive always struggled with this. One thing Ive done in the past is this: Every time a lutful thought would enter my mind, or if I saw somwthing, I would say a Hail Mary immediatly. Sometimes I would say multiple Hail Marys until concentrating on the prayer forced the lustful thoughts out of my mind. Now, i havent done this in a while, so it has been easier to fall.

As for physical things, I like to pop on my iPod, and let my music destract me, especcially the huge amount of Christian music that is on my iPod.

And lastly, Confession...


From my blog:
[quote]

Well, like any other teenage male, I struggle with certain "temptations". And I have been struggling with them for quite a while. It is a "thorn in my side" as I like to call it. But unlike St. Paul, God didn’t give me the same response to my prayers. It is purely my own impurity that causes me to fall into temptation.

When I was younger, and first discovered such "pleasures" I thought they were pretty great. And I continued to indulge in them. It was like I got on a train. A train that was leading me farther and farther from Christ. Once I realized that it was a sin, and that I should stop, it was too late, and I couldn’t. I was addicted.

So I turned to the only thing that promised to bring me back to Christ, The Sacraments. I started to go to Confession, and confessed it over and over again. In 2 Corinthians, when Paul mentions his "thorn" he also says "For when I am weak, then I am strong." Just lately have I realized truly what this means.

I realized that in the sacrament of Reconciliation, we go to the priest when we are at our weakest, When we are sad, shameful, and desperate. But when the priest, acting in persona Christi- as the person of Christ-absolves us in the name of our God, he gives us strength. The strength to carry our cross.

He also gives us Grace. "For only my grace is sufficient for you."

I realize now, after reading over what I had just typed, God has answered my prayers in the same way that He answered Paul's, I just hadn't realized it. Wow.

"Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." I will rather boast most gladly of my weakness, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me." ------ 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
[/quote]

[OnlySunshine]

I haven't had strong lustful thoughts in about 2 months -- thanks be to God! The one thing that has worked the most for me is saying the "Hail Mary" prayer over and over until the thought goes away. Usually, if the thought stays longer than normal, it only takes 3 Hail Mary prayers and the thought is gone. Refocusing your mind on prayer is the best way to overcome lustful thoughts, especially when you think about Our Lady. She takes those thoughts away. I always like to think of her as Our Lady of Grace who crushes the serpent's head.

[img]http://home.earthlink.net/~mysticalrose/grace.gif[/img]

[LouisvilleFan]

[quote name='Byzantine' timestamp='1313540239' post='2289480']
Anyone have any other ideas/suggestions? Just wondering. Thanks!
[/quote]

"Some demons can only be conquered by prayer and fasting." Fasting along with prayer can be very effective. Practicing discipline and self-sacrifice in curbing your appetite for food helps you do the same with your sexual appetite. Both can be very powerful, and come with similar temptations and occasions to sin (i.e. both are nearly always present around us, frequent situations to give in a little bit).

Spiritual direction, or at least scheduling Confession regularly with a priest who will hold you accountable, are also good ideas.

You may want to consider methods that don't fight the sin head on, which is usually a sure way to lose. Maybe getting yourself absorbed into a good book, television series, video game... or better yet, finding opportunities to volunteer or picking up a second job to fill up your schedule. When you're busy, you might be surprised how much time passes between occasions of temptation.

I think this is from an Eastern saint or tradition, but I've always like the advice to "Do nothing" in response to temptation. It is the nature of temptation to draw a reaction. In that vein, the simplest acts I've found the most effective... a Sign of the Cross or St. Michael Prayer, especially if prayed passively with hardly a thought, you've done enough to hand the fight over to Christ without engaging yourself in the battle directly.

Praying for you,
Jason