Emails To Give *insert Name Of Loved One Here* A Heart Attack

[Pax_et bonum]

Dear Mom and Dad,
I've decided to quit school and my job because they take away from the time I could be on phatmass. kbye

[MargaretTeresa]

Dear Mother,
You remember when you dyed my khaki capris lime? I hope you like that color... for your hair.

Love,
Your least favorite daughter.

[BG45]

Dear Dr. M., I realize you want a fully finished Vita tomorrow for class, but it's taking forever to actually list out every course I ever substituted in. Can I just put "[name of old school] I AM THE LIBERAL ARTS"? Just kidding, I'll break it down so you don't kill me...

[Lil'Monster]

Dear Phamily:

I met this really handsome guy who is smart and kind. He owns a topless bar and that is where I met him. Btw, we are getting married next week and also I'm preggers. K bye!

Edited September 6, 2011 by Lil'Monster

[Lil'Monster]

that never happen

[brianthephysicist]

Dear Phamily,

I'm stealing Melissa. k bye!

[MissyP89]

lolwut.

[missionseeker]

[quote name='brianthephysicist' timestamp='1315285544' post='2300971']
Dear Phamily,

I'm stealing Melissa. k bye!
[/quote]


Noooooooooooooo.

will you at least share her a *little*?

[BG45]

Congrats.

[missionseeker]

Dear Pham,

dUSt and I have lately been collaborating. He has decided that there will be no more Catholic hip hop - only women shrill-ly singing Gregorian chant. In organum. Also, he has a become a T-totaller and will therefore no longer be selling beer glasses. As for the T-shirts, he's decided that they are probably immodest and will discontinue them. Wallpapers are still up, yo.


me.

[Groo the Wanderer]

Dear DRE,

Remember that time you told me about that neat centering prayer, and the eniagram, and how God is Mother too? I got so excited I told the pastor all about it, 'cause I wanted him to know about your cool ideas. He sent three guys in red robes to visit you. Not sure what the big plush chair is for, but that should be them knocking on your door now. Say Hi to the one with the mustachio for me. Pretend you didn't expect them. kbye!

[missionseeker]

[quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1315296887' post='2301016']
Dear Pham,

dUSt and I have lately been collaborating. He has decided that there will be no more Catholic hip hop - only women shrill-ly singing Gregorian chant. In organum. Also, he has a become a T-totaller and will therefore no longer be selling beer glasses. As for the T-shirts, he's decided that they are probably immodest and will discontinue them. Wallpapers are still up, yo.


me.
[/quote]
oh. Ps. There will be no more filtering. Except for pantaloons. that's just plain funny.

[Papist]

Dear Sweetie,

I really think your mom is cute. Tell your dad I am very sorry. k bye.

[missionseeker]

Dear Boss.


I quit. There's no clause that says I need to give you two weeks notice. I checked. Have fun finding 3 people to replace me. Tomorrow.


~Me

[MissScripture]

[quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1316042052' post='2304768']
Dear Boss.


I quit. There's no clause that says I need to give you two weeks notice. I checked. Have fun finding 3 people to replace me. Tomorrow.


~Me
[/quote]
Can you, can you, can you?????

[MIKolbe]

Dear Phatmass-

I am now the webmaster.

[BG45]

Dear Big Zoo,

The Little Llama informed me the other day that he doesn't feel like hugging. We should all panic and hope he gets better!

[missionseeker]

[quote name='MissScripture' timestamp='1316042415' post='2304769']
Can you, can you, can you?????
[/quote]


technically speaking? yes. Practically speaking? no. lol.

[BG45]

Dear Father W.,

I told everyone that the book sale is a front for a more illegal substance sale. If people ask you for the "special books section" that's what they want.

Edited September 16, 2011 by BG45

[MissScripture]

[quote name='missionseeker' timestamp='1316184445' post='2305421']


technically speaking? yes. Practically speaking? no. lol.
[/quote]
Oh. I got my hopes all up.