Delayed Discernment

[Lil'Nun]

Hi all,

I thought it might be a good idea to have a new topic for this as I had begun to hijack another thread.

I've been discerning for a few years now and really do feel I might have a religious vocation. I am in England in my mid-40s and caring for an elderly relative.

I'd love to start looking at orders and communities but don't feel I can as I do not know when I will be able to enter. It could be years. I might not even be able to enter until I am over 50.

I have contacted some convents and asked if they have an age limit and some do not have any limit at all as long as your health is good. Some didn't answer me at all so I am guessing that I was too old there.

I really long to live in community so third order or secular institutes don't seem to be where I am called.

My ideal community would accept older vocations, allow time for contemplative prayer and solitude, be apostolic or missionary and have apostolates in social justice, teaching, nursing or all three. I would like a fairly large community or order if possible.

A habit appeals, modififed or not but this is not essential, However, the right prayer life is a deal breaker.

All suggestions welcome!

[Sarah147]

Check out the FSE and the RSM.

[beatitude]

Joyful, neither of those communities has a presence in England, sadly.

[url="http://www.sistershospitallers.org/vocations.php"]Hospitaller Sisters of the Sacred Heart[/url]

[url="http://www.boarbankhall.org.uk/"]Augustinian Sisters of the Mercy of Jesus[/url]

[url="http://www.sisters-fdc.org.uk/"]Daughters of Divine Charity[/url]

[url="http://www.graceandcompassionbenedictines.org.uk/"]Benedictine Sisters of Grace and Compassion[/url]

[url="http://www.lcmsisters.org.uk/"]Little Company of Mary[/url]

[url="http://www.littlesistersofthepoorenglishprovince.org.uk/"]Little Sisters of the Poor[/url]

If I may offer a piece of advice? Look for a spirituality that resonates first, and only then think about the apostolate. Once you join a community you could be asked to do pretty much anything, and you have to be prepared for that - joining a nursing order is no guarantee that you will be a nurse. It is the spirituality that nourishes the work you will do, so go straight to the wellspring: look for that.

Edited November 20, 2011 by beatitude

[Lil'Nun]

Thank you for your advice. It is much appreciated.
I have been considering

Dominican Sisters of Saint Joseph
http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/

Dominican Sisters of St. Catherine of Siena
http://www.stone-dominicans.org.uk/Welcome.html

The SSVM who are in Ireland - but I think the Sisters share cells so am not sure how much time there is to be alone in prayer with the Lord either in the chapel or in the cell.

I do need to find out more about the prayer life of these though. But I don't know if it is okay to contact them, and get into a long conversation, when I can't enter yet.

[LaPetiteSoeur]

[quote name='Lil'Nun' timestamp='1321807867' post='2338537']
Thank you for your advice. It is much appreciated.
I have been considering

Dominican Sisters of Saint Joseph
[url="http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/"]http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/[/url]

Dominican Sisters of St. Catherine of Siena
[url="http://www.stone-dominicans.org.uk/Welcome.html"]http://www.stone-dom...uk/Welcome.html[/url]

The SSVM who are in Ireland - but I think the Sisters share cells so am not sure how much time there is to be alone in prayer with the Lord either in the chapel or in the cell.

I do need to find out more about the prayer life of these though. But I don't know if it is okay to contact them, and get into a long conversation, when I can't enter yet.
[/quote]

The Dominicans of St. Joseph are really a.wesome....but perhaps that's because of LC!

[Sarah147]

Oh, I didn't know she wouldn't be willing to travel to the USA.

[Lil'Nun]

Oh no. I would be willing to travel anywhere if I felt God was calling me there.
It would be nice to stay in England, but if I was called elsewhere I would not hesitate.

[Strictlyinkblot]

Would you consider the Carmelites of the Aged and Infirm? While the Mother House is in America they do have a house in Dublin and I think in Lancashire. They have a structured Horarium and full habit.

Or there's the Good Shepherd sisters. They don't have a structured prayer life as such but they do say morning and evening prayer together and they have a fast on Saturdays, which means they don't have a cooked dinner, instead they donate the money to charity. Their charism is to work with vulnerable women which could mean a women's shelter in the city or flying out to work projects in Thailand for a few months at a time. They also have a contemplative branch which wear a full habit. The active sisters don't.

[Lil'Nun]

I did look at the Good Shepherd Sisters but they don't really live in community here in the UK. They are living in flats (apartments) in ones and twos because of diminishing numbers.

[Strictlyinkblot]

[quote name='Lil'Nun' timestamp='1321815949' post='2338571']
I did look at the Good Shepherd Sisters but they don't really live in community here in the UK. They are living in flats (apartments) in ones and twos because of diminishing numbers.
[/quote]

They have two or three communities in Ireland but I understand you don't want to leave the UK.

[Lil'Nun]

[quote name='Strictlyinkblot' timestamp='1321816023' post='2338572']

They have two or three communities in Ireland but I understand you don't want to leave the UK.
[/quote]

No, if I found the right community and felt God was calling me there I would be happy to move to another country as long as I felt that is where God wanted me to be.
However, having looked into the Good Shepherd Sisters I do not feel called there.

Edited November 20, 2011 by Lil'Nun

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Lil'Nun' timestamp='1321814573' post='2338564']
Oh no. I would be willing to travel anywhere if I felt God was calling me there.
It would be nice to stay in England, but if I was called elsewhere I would not hesitate.
[/quote]

I would certainly recommend the [url="http://www.graceandcompassionbenedictines.org.uk/"]Benedictine Sisters of Grace and Compassion[/url] in Brighton, England. My friend discerned with them and, though they didn't work out for her, she had nothing but nice things to say about the community. She is an older vocation (52 years old) and they accepted her with no issues. They are nurses and care for the elderly.

Edited November 20, 2011 by MaterMisericordiae

[beatitude]

[quote name='Lil'Nun' timestamp='1321807867' post='2338537']
Thank you for your advice. It is much appreciated.
I have been considering

Dominican Sisters of Saint Joseph
[url="http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/"]http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/[/url]

Dominican Sisters of St. Catherine of Siena
[url="http://www.stone-dominicans.org.uk/Welcome.html"]http://www.stone-dom...uk/Welcome.html[/url]

The SSVM who are in Ireland - but I think the Sisters share cells so am not sure how much time there is to be alone in prayer with the Lord either in the chapel or in the cell.

I do need to find out more about the prayer life of these though. But I don't know if it is okay to contact them, and get into a long conversation, when I can't enter yet.
[/quote]

I've visited the Dominicans of Catherine of Siena (or Stone Dominicans, as they get called). They're a lovely community. I'm glad you're looking into them.

It sounds as though you're quite drawn to Dominican spirituality. As you can't take active steps to enter a particular community just yet, it might be a good idea to learn more about Dominican thought, scholarship, way of prayer, etc. If you find it nourishing your daily life as it is now, that might be a good sign that you are called to a Dominican community.

Edited November 20, 2011 by beatitude

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

These are some goods ones that I looked into when I was discerning an active religious vocation as opposed to cloistered (what I am discerning now).

Franciscan Sisters of the Eucharist - http://www.fsecommunity.org/

The Sisters of Life - http://sistersoflife.org/

(LOVE THIS!!) Dominican Sisters of St. Cecelia - http://nashvilledominican.org/Home

I never actually "looked into" the Dominicans listed last, but I did get to talk to a few of the sisters on a nun run once. They are a very good balance of active and contemplative, but at the time as I am now, I was beginning to look into the cloistered life.

Prayers for you on your discernment!!

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

Oops, I didn't see that you were only looking for ones in the UK...

[Luigi]

[quote name='Lil'Nun' timestamp='1321807867' post='2338537']
Thank you for your advice. It is much appreciated.
I have been considering

Dominican Sisters of Saint Joseph
[url="http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/"]http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/[/url]

Dominican Sisters of St. Catherine of Siena
[url="http://www.stone-dominicans.org.uk/Welcome.html"]http://www.stone-dom...uk/Welcome.html[/url]

The SSVM who are in Ireland - but I think the Sisters share cells so am not sure how much time there is to be alone in prayer with the Lord either in the chapel or in the cell.

I do need to find out more about the prayer life of these though. [b]But I don't know if it is okay to contact them, and get into a long conversation, when I can't enter yet.[/b]
[/quote]

I'd recommend you start the conversation now. You're not promising to enter, you're only exploring the possibility. And the conversation could take a while - if you wait until you're 'ready,' it might be rather late to be starting a conversation.

Once you've made a connection, you can 'follow' the various congregations on their websites, through their newsletters, by volunteering with them, and so forth. Here's a (perhaps) similar story; the woman was always hanging around with the sisters and eventually decided to join - if the order "knows" you, they're more likely to make an age exception should one be needed. [url="http://www.mississippiabbey.org/Blog"]http://www.mississippiabbey.org/Blog[/url] (scroll down to the woman in white).

Edited November 20, 2011 by Luigi

[Lil'Nun]

Thank you Luigi
That makes a lot of sense.

[Lil'Nun]

[quote name='LaPetiteSoeur' timestamp='1321810110' post='2338546']

The Dominicans of St. Joseph are really a.wesome....but perhaps that's because of LC!
[/quote]

Is this LC's clothing? The timing seems about right?

[url="http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/News/Images_NEWS/2011-09-29%20Clothing%20-%20Copy/index.htm"]http://www.dominican...0Copy/index.htm[/url]

Edited November 20, 2011 by Lil'Nun

[OnlySunshine]

[quote name='Lil'Nun' timestamp='1321822718' post='2338605']

Is this LC's clothing? The timing seems about right?

[url="http://www.dominicansrs.co.uk/News/Images_NEWS/2011-09-29%20Clothing%20-%20Copy/index.htm"]http://www.dominican...0Copy/index.htm[/url]
[/quote]

Yep! That's our beloved Sr. Mary Catherine!

[cmaD2006]

[quote name='Lil'Nun' timestamp='1321807867' post='2338537']
The SSVM who are in Ireland - but I think the Sisters share cells so am not sure how much time there is to be alone in prayer with the Lord either in the chapel or in the cell.

I do need to find out more about the prayer life of these though. But I don't know if it is okay to contact them, and get into a long conversation, when I can't enter yet.
[/quote]

The SSVMs also have a contemplative branch. I don't know if they have opened a contemplative convent in Ireland, but its worth keeping in consideration. However the SSVMs do require entering the active branch first and going through formation, and then a "call within a call" is discerned to see if you are called to the cloistered monastery.

I don't know per se about the SSVMs but I had entered an order where you did share a dorm (it was many sisters within a dorm). In that particular case, the "cell" was not an area for prayer nor study ... you were only permitted in the room for sleeping, changing, to get something (like a notebook) and if you were sick. However -- I suspect (and if I were you I would ask) that things may be different in the cloistered convent, since it is a different way of living.