Struggles With Daily Prayer

[the_rev]

Fellow discerners,

I thought that I would pose to you a struggle that I have been having pertaining to daily prayer, the struggles are multivalent, but I bet some of you have had similar experiences.

When it comes to prayer, I sometimes become overwhelmed. As a diocesan seminarian there is much to be expected of your prayer life. Tonight I made a list of what types of prayer are required/recommended for us.

Required:
Office of Readings
Morning Prayer
Daytime Prayer
Evening Prayer
Night Prayer

Daily Mass

(Keep in mind as a seminarian we are not obligated to praying all five offices, but considering in only a few years I will be obligated to do so, it is a good practice to start now).

Recommended practices:

Daily Holy Hour
Lectio Divina
Rosary
Divine Mercy Chaplet or some other devotion particular to the individual
Mental Prayer/Contemplative prayer
Spiritual reading
Reading of scripture

I think right now I am just so overwhelmed, because people are telling me that I need to do this or that in my prayer life, whether its adding 10 or 15 minutes of silent prayer or whatever it may be. I am a strong devotee of the Blessed Mother, and I have to admit that sometimes my devotion through the rosary comes at the expense of other prayer, work and study.

Just the other day a formator asked me about my spiritual reading, and although I try to do spiritual reading, in the midst of the other prayer/liturgical life, academics, study, recreation, etc. it seems that sometimes we live in a world of unrealistic expectations when it comes to spiritual practices.

I guess right now I'm just putting all this out there, I do not know what else to say, except, that I feel overwhelmed with prayer and I know that I do not pray enough in a day. I know that I can spend far much more time on the internet than I should. Or more time watching television or more time running or playing sports than I do in prayer or study.

Like I said I'm just putting this all out there, hoping that maybe some of you feel like this at times, and maybe to get your advice. I look forward to reading what you all have to offer.

--the_rev

[Gemma_Kateri]

I'm no expert on this, but it seems to me that prayer shouldn't be seen as an obligation. Of course you have your requirements, but make sure you are praying because you want to spend time with the Lord.

I am also trying to get into a routine of praying the liturgy of the hours, divine mercy chaplet, rosary, etc so I know how hard that is. I've heard that it takes about 3 weeks to make something a habit. I'm not sure how long you've been a seminarian, but maybe if you could concentrate on really disciplining yourself into a solid routine for about a month, it will become easier.

As with most things, quality, not quantity, is probably more pleasing to God.

[InPersonaChriste]

Take it slow, build a strong and simple prayer foundation, and from there you will find time. Prayer should be a joyous obligation, offer your overwhelmed feelings to the Blessed Mother. There is no shame in starting from square one, I myself have to restart

[TheresaThoma]

I can see where you might be a overwhelmed if you feel like you must do each one of the things that you listed. My suggestion would be don't think of it as a check list but as different tools that you can use. Each "job" will need a different set of tools, and usually you won't need all of them. Have a few that are your go to ones but let the others rotate in and out.

[AccountDeleted]

Have you spoken to your formator about your concerns?

I am always amazed at priests (and seminarians) because of how much they have to do, not only the obligation to recite the Office but also the daily routines and duties, and then finding time for the recommended prayers on top of that. Those in religious life have it a little easier (well, at least those in monastic life) because they don't often have access to TV and Internet and other distracting things (unless these are a part of their apostolate or duties in which case there is usually time set aside for this).

Do what is required of you to do, fit in what additional prayers you feel particularly drawn towards (such as the Rosary) and leave a little room for the 'recreation' of TV and Internet as they fit in. Balance is a problem in every walk of life, from busy parents with kiddies, to those who are working and studying - so trying to fit in spiritual activities as well can be a real challenge. Do your best and trust that God will take care of the rest.

But if you can, let your formator know the stress you are feeling. Prayers for you.



edited for typos.

Edited January 9, 2012 by nunsense

[MaryJJD]

seperately, that sounds alot at first glance. the first time I went to stay at a monestary for retreat, I felt overwhelmed at the level/amount of prayer they do-it was was over my 'baseline' level of prayer. However, since then, I've noticed that over time, my prayer life has increased of its own accord-the more I give, the more it seems right and it then grows slowly over time.

I've also noticed, that the more I focus on the details of 'i have to get this and this and THIS done', the harder it seems. So stay where you are, in the prayer of the right now, and let it flow, and it will get easier and over time, grow. And it is spending time with Him, just in a variety of ways Its amesome.

As another thought, sometimes scripture reading or rosary or office or whatever spiritual reading you're doing becomes mental prayer or contemplation-where you stop at a phrase that catches your heart and you can sit with that thought/phrase later in the day.

prayers for you

[Fr. Antony Maria OSB]

As many people have said above, what you're looking for with prayer is quality, not quantity. Don't fall into the trap that the Pharisees did where they did all the spiritual practices, but weren't actually present to God in their prayer, and so instead just had this stream of mindless babble.

I would say that it would be good if you tried your best to fit some form of spiritual reading into your day, whether it be with Scripture or with some work of a saint. I've been told this many times, so I don't know where it originated from, but when we pray, we speak to God; when we read, God speaks to us. With that mentality, spiritual reading is essential because it then allows us to truly enter into dialogue with God, which is what prayer is supposed to be, anyway.

Ultimately, just remember the Little Flower's definition of prayer: "Prayer is a simple raising of one's mind and heart to God. It is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy."

[emi77]

I can definitely resonate with this problem. I am studying for a theology degree, and whilst there are no recommendations of prayer from my lecturers etc (I go to a secular university) , I do put expectations upon myself to pray, although I am not attempting anywhere near as muh as you are expected to do!

I can sometimes find that I will give myself a long list of things to do for a day, often unrealistically long, and I will prioritise studying over everything else. Of course this means prayer is neglected too often, and over the course of a week I will get more and more out of control and stressed because each day has not been grounded in what matters most- the worship of, and one's relationship with, God.

I think it is very easy for any Christian/ Catholic/ Religious Student on a theology or philosophy course, especially when they truly love studying their topic, to think that their studying is akin or can be in place of their prayer life. In reality, whilst contemplation of God naturally arises from our studies, it is not the same as prayer for one important reason. I often find that this contemplation from studying is more centered around me as an individual thinking about God, or my ideas inspired by God's grace. This is a far more individualised and perhaps more selfish way of relating oneself to God than prayer is. I find that for my prayer to be most fruitful, I need to humble myself more completely and really listen to God and worship HIM, rather than my conception of him or my ideas about him! Keeping the fact that whatever you learn about God each day is nothing compared to what He truly is, in mind, really helps me stay humble and more 'ready' for prayer, if you know what I mean. (I'm very sorry if this is not at all what you are talking of, and is completely off topic)

Once I stay in this more humble state, I find that I prioritise and feel the need for prayer more greatly, and so I make time for it! I see that my studies are much better focused and I am much happier for the sake of finding the time to really 'be' with God in prayer without worrying about the next bit of work/job to be done. The best time of the day I find to pray is generally mornings, and I find that waking up earlier with the mind to pray and only pray, far increases the likelihood of it being 'done'! I do not allow myself distractions (the worst being the computer, I agree!) and sit in a different place than my bed, and generally start with a decade or two of the rosary (which I finish later) before reading something spiritual (not connected with my studies, and only about a page or two of it) and spending at least 15 minutes (but preferably more) with the Lord in silent watchfulness and adoration. I too have a devotion to the Holy Rosary and our Blessed Mother, but whilst I like saying it in its entirety, I can rarely justify 40 minutes (im a slow pray-er ) to properly mediate on its mysteries. Therefore I generally split it into a couple of segments and disperse it through my day. I generally try for two decades in the morning, one at lunch, and one in the evening/night.

Now, the above only adds up to about 1.5 hours of prayer a day (and I appreciate that you are trying to fit far more in!). Its important to note that this is my ideal schedule thought- and that, being the sinner I am, I only managed keeping it up for two weeks last term , and then I only found time for the bare essentials. However I think that I started going wrong when I stopped going to bed at a reasonable hour, and therefore found getting up earlier to pray impossible. For me, my rules for prayer success could be summarised as follows:

1) Get to bed at a good time (your work will not be very good past about 9.30 at night anyway!) and get up as soon as your alarm goes off! (this is the hardest rule i think!)
2) Minimise distractions by allocating yourself time on the computer and for recreation, and sticking to it.
3) Be flexible about your prayer ideals. Continuing your devotions, like the rosary, can be better than forcing yourself to pray in new ways. (Especially when you can find the new ways less about praying and more about 'getting the prayer right') However, allowing yourself the time (in its entirety) needed for these devotions is harder. Therefore, I would recommend splitting it up- I don't think Our Holy Mother will mind- I'd wager she prefers some prayer to no prayer and empty intentions.
4) Build up slowly. Don't expect yourself to change your habits of prayer instantly, especially when you're trying so many new things! Don't be disheartened when you start to slip either. Be flexible (I always forget this one) and adjust the prayers according to your daily schedule. The Lord doesn't expect perfection from us, as only He is perfect. When we expect it of ourselves, we will ultimately be disheartened when it doesn't happen! So accept your limitations, and offer even your failings in prayer up to Jesus!

It is, I know, far easier to give this advice than follow it. God really does know that most days I fail at my own rules. But I hope that something in this post resonated with you and helps you. If it doesn't, sorry for having wasted you time whilst you trawled through it! Apologies also for any grammatical/spelling mistakes as I am dyslexic.
I will pray for your prayer efforts and I hope you will pray for mine!!! (That is, if we can both find the time!) PAX

[somethingfishy]

I've had some similar struggles, and all I can tell you is what worked for me. Talk to your spiritual director and set up a simple rule of life (relating to prayer/study/work/recreation etc) that you feel comfortable with and think you can follow. Try it for a few months, and discuss with your spiritual director what further practices to add (or if it's too difficult, what to cut back on), and then just continue to live it and make adjustments as necessary. It was really good for me to learn to keep a little more discipline in my life, especially after spending so many years on my own as a student.

Work on it, but don't waste time comparing yourself to others or worrying about it. It's not about ticking a box or achieving something, no spiritual sprints... just slow, steady growth in virtue and grace. And Mary is particularly good at helping with that

[inperpetuity]

Since you have ample opportunities for healthy recreation, you could try eliminating television completely and limiting internet to email only without suffering any major psychological or spiritual harm. I think you will find that you are less distracted and actually have more time. I will pray for your perseverance.

[Sister Marie]

Dear Rev,

I hope you don't mind me poking in here but I can certainly understand your feelings about being required to find time for all of this prayer. I'm a sister and I teach full time in a Catholic school. Just to give you an idea... daily I am required to pray morning, evening and night prayer, a holy hour, rosary, Stations of the Cross, Examen, Mass (of course!), a half hour of mental prayer and two hours of spiritual reading weekly including lectio. It is something that overwhelms me still. I think it's a good thing to feel a little overwhelmed by it because prayer is/will be an integral part of your life as a priest and I think you are wise to begin now rather than later. It is also overwhelming because your personal holiness, your ministry, everything you do, is dependent upon your prayer life. Sometimes in our culture it seems as though these requirements are unrealistic or over the top but I think that they seem that way primarily because we are a culture that innately and unconsciously does not like sacrifice. Keeping up a schedule like this is sacrificial, but it is a sacrifice of love.

Routine is a great help in this. Look at your schedule put all the things in that already have a time and place like classes, meals, Mass, all the things that are already set for you. Then, look for the empty spaces. It really helps to place prayers either directly before or after something scheduled that you have no control over. For instance, Rosary before morning class. Holy Hour after evening class. It seems easier if you tack them onto an already scheduled piece of your day to follow through and persevere in prayer. If you have holy hour in the middle of an empty afternoon... you might be tempted to spend "just five more minutes" on something and end up missing your opportunity.

Then think about your own personal preferences. If you are a morning person, place the more "active" prayers in the morning so that when you are tired in the evening you aren't straining to read but can prayerfully meditate on the Rosary. Build in studying and recreation so that you have a nice balance. Give yourself time to do nonreligious things you enjoy too.

Finally, you have to be flexible. God understands that people come before a schedule, some circumstances trump a schedule... examine yourself at the end of each day to see if you faithfully responded to the circumstances around you and chose the appropriate thing to do. Maybe you neglected something because you were showing compassion to someone in need... maybe you neglected it because you were on the computer too long. There is a difference. Be patient with yourself. You don't have to be perfect, you have to be growing.

I have also found that exercise is a great aid to prayer. I know that might seem strange but when I am physically active and healthy it is easier for me to be balanced and disciplined. It seems like one more thing to fit into the schedule but a half hour of exercise will open up much more time because of the energy boost and the skills of discipline and moderation it teaches. And you can certainly pray as you run.

I echo also what others have said about being honest about this situation with whomever has charge of you. They, knowing you and your circumstances, will be able to help you more than any of us can. Prayers for you.

SM