FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Missy, you are so brave and so strong to say this. We love you Missy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Thank you for sharing your witness. This belongs in the great historical records of phatmass. It should be a tract kept on the home page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Missy, This took courage and humility to post this. Thank you and may God bless you in your healing. I am sure many of us can relate. Revel in God's mercy. God bless you!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Totus Tuus Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Hip hip hooray! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Missy, thank you thank you thank you! St. Mary Magdalene, pray for us! [img]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b9USk25gfsw/Ta30acj3FII/AAAAAAAAJCo/9Kraev2WzV4/s1600/washing-jesus-feet2.jpg[/img] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 [quote name='sixpence' timestamp='1330304312' post='2393399'] Missy thank you for posting this!!! You are SO right. Many guys have no problem coming out with this stuff, since society makes it seem kind of "normal" for guys. I know I have felt like there is hardly anyone I can talk to about this. I find it is the one thing I have had to really struggle to say in confession, NEVERMIND to anyone else. I feel exactly what you said. If I talked to a guy friend about it I would worry about causing them to sin by thinking about it, and I fear talking to girls about it since NO ONE talks about it, and we feel like NO ONE else must have this problem. I started developing this habit when I was so young that I didn't even know what it was that I was doing, and by the time I found out what the heck I was doing, I was already addicted. It only got worse from there, until 3 years ago on Ash Wednesday. I don't even remember what the homily was, but something the priest said caused me to do a 180. Since then I have messed up again a couple of times, mainly at times when I already felt like a helpless mess due to other problems in my life. I know for me, chastity is still a struggle, but knowing I am not alone is nice. Thanks again for posting! Prayers! [/quote] Well, although you are mainly right, you must remember masturbation is taboo for men as well. I started when I was eleven and a half, and I was terrified of confessing it, because [i]nobody [/i]talks about it. It's socially acceptable to talk about pornography all day long, and it's perfectly acceptable to talk about how you watched it for twelve straight hours yesterday, but masturbation? There's no reason to bring up something as uncomfortable as that! It saddens me to know that there are facilities for pornography addicts but none for masturbation addicts. Pornography is tough, yes, but you need a computer or magazine in order to fulfill your urge. The same is for drugs: you cannot fulfill your need to abuse drugs unless you have some or an equivalent. With masturbation, your temptation goes with you everywhere you go, from home to church to Antarctica, and it's so difficult to stop when you realize your problem is literally attached to you. Scientists have figured out that masturbation/pornography addictions are just as and sometimes harder to break than drug addictions, and yet masturbation addicts get nothing but looks of disgust when people find out about them. Whenever I find out someone has this problem, I always make sure to let them know that if they ever need help I will gladly counsel them. I've been counseling one person for a few months, and I've talked about it with a few others, and I am more than willing to help anybody that was in my situation at any time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) I just saw this reposted to FB by a PMer. Then my comment about you not being a teenager magically disappeared, gotta <3 FB glitches. Edited February 28, 2012 by BG45 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 [quote name='BG45' timestamp='1330400394' post='2393918'] I just saw this reposted to FB by a PMer. Then my comment about you not being a teenager magically disappeared, gotta <3 FB glitches. [/quote] Wow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinaSt.Cecilia2772 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 This is such a hard topic to talk about, and even though I'm still scared to admit it, I have had an addiction for a long time and have been in the process of breaking this addiction. It is something that has held me back from feeling God's true love for me, and that all He wants is to set me free from these sins. Sometimes it always seems as if women are supposed to have the image where we can't screw up, or that it's not normal for us to talk about sexual struggles because women obviously think and act differently than men. But in many ways people don't realize that at times men and women think very much a like. It's our communication that's different. I have always been scared to admit and ask for help for these things because I've always felt that if I did I would be looked down upon for it. Men aren't the only ones with hormones, urges, desires, and I guess "blooming" sexualities. We need to break the stereotype because women indeed struggle with these sins all the time. There is nothing wrong with the way God has created us and our different sexualities as women and men, unless we take advantage of it and twist the beauty of it into something that it wasn't meant for. God doesn't make mistakes, He didn't make any mistakes with our bodies and sexualities. It's us who make the mistakes by not seeing what it is truly meant for and why He created them they way He did. Like St. Paul said we need to glorify God with our bodies. I'm trying so hard to break this addiction of mine to truly glorify Him with myself. The sacraments are a beautiful thing, and we need to cling to them, especially the Sacrament of Reconciliation because ultimately, the Sacraments are stronger than we are. I have gone to confession at least four or five times within the last three or four months. I still screw up and give in, but I'm not giving up. Part of it is because I can't seem to let go of a former boyfriend yet (the one that I posted a thread about the heartache in the prayer room), and the other part is addiction. A priest from one of those confessions told me to never forget my dignity as a woman, and that if the devil wants to take that dignity away from me then I can literally tell him to go to hell. I haven't forgotten that, and my dignity as a woman and the forgiveness of our Lord Jesus have been what has kept me going. Jesus loves us, and we have to let ourselves recieve His love even in the times we feel unworthy. Thank you Missy for posting this. Your broken silence has helped me break mine, and for that you have my total respect and gratitude. God Bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 ...I knew this was going to bring up a solid conversation, but I never expected this! I got props from dUSt. I guess that means I did something right. There's something else I want to say. The love and respect you all have shown me is incredibly humbling. I've always been one to brush off or downplay praise, and it's hard not to do that now. To those women who have been encouraged by me to speak themselves, thank YOU. That's why I did this all. I want us to be shameless in our honesty [i]together. [/i]Not just me! You're all amazing. What I really want, though, is to point to those that stand behind me. Yes, I've been clean for six months, but there have been many, many moments that I wasn't sure how I was going to hold on for five more minutes, let alone until tomorrow. It was in those moments that I've been able to pick up my phone or turn on my webcam and sit and be weak with a few dear friends who were willing to hold me up. Sometimes I cried and bargained and other times I would just yell and call people names (sorry, Brian!), but they were there for me. And I wouldn't be where I am now if not for those 911 moments. That's why I wrote this -- in recognition that people have helped me through, and to offer to be that person now. So yeah. Y'all are beautiful. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 [quote name='MissyP89' timestamp='1330412798' post='2393959'] What I really want, though, is to point to those that stand behind me. Yes, I've been clean for six months, but there have been many, many moments that I wasn't sure how I was going to hold on for five more minutes, let alone until tomorrow. It was in those moments that I've been able to pick up my phone or turn on my webcam and sit and be weak with a few dear friends who were willing to hold me up. Sometimes I cried and bargained and other times I would just yell and call people names (sorry, Brian!), but they were there for me. And I wouldn't be where I am now if not for those 911 moments. That's why I wrote this -- in recognition that people have helped me through, and to offer to be that person now. So yeah. Y'all are beautiful. Thanks. [/quote] Something that I have recently started to do is to pray for people who are facing a particular struggle within themselves. If I catch myself getting really impatient, I pray for everyone who struggles with impatience, especially my fellow Catholics; and ask their guardian angels to pray with me for their gentleness. If you have trouble with lying, pray for people who have lied and are facing bad consequences for their lies. In this way it is possible to support people even if your support is hidden. It always gives me great comfort and courage to know that when things are difficult for me I can stand firm on the prayers and love of people whom I've never even met. That is the beautiful thing about the Church. I once saw an icon that symbolised the Church - Jesus in the boat on a stormy Galilee with the disciples and some bishops. It reminds me of that, and brings a whole new meaning to the metaphor 'in the same boat'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theresita Nerita Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) Recently I found this picture, by Millet. It's the Temptation of St. Anthony: [img]http://uploads1.wikipaintings.org/images/jean-francois-millet/the-temptation-of-st-anthony.jpg%21xlMedium.jpg[/img] And I have it on my desktop now. While I haven't had nearly as much success yet as most of you better gals, I've recently found this painting a helpful reminder that when you are tempted, that you are literally being TEMPTED. By the devil. I think the most harmful thing for me has been the Enlightenment-style sceptical outlook that makes me say, "Well, demons are just superstition, so all these thoughts are just as valid as any other thought, since all these thoughts come from me." But if I remind myself that I am being literally tempted, by the devil, who is Lies, (note the beautiful girl with the forked tail in the painting) then I've been about 90% more likely to be successful in resisting. Because, after all, St. Jerome, St Anthony, all those guys, were tempted for like YEARS by what they called "the spirit of fornication." So worst case scenario, God is putting me through a minor version of what he put St. Anthony through. And how can I feel bad about that? I can only feel honored that God thinks I can deal with this and come out stronger. Edit - thought it was St Jerome in the pic, but it's St Anthony apparently! Edited February 28, 2012 by Theresita Nerita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinytherese Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I recommend the book "Clean of Heart: Overcoming Habitual Sins against Purity" by Rosemarie Scott which is filled with meditations on chastity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 [quote name='Theresita Nerita' timestamp='1330463033' post='2394159'] Recently I found this picture, by Millet. It's the Temptation of St. Anthony: [img]http://uploads1.wikipaintings.org/images/jean-francois-millet/the-temptation-of-st-anthony.jpg%21xlMedium.jpg[/img] And I have it on my desktop now. While I haven't had nearly as much success yet as most of you better gals, I've recently found this painting a helpful reminder that when you are tempted, that you are literally being TEMPTED. By the devil. I think the most harmful thing for me has been the Enlightenment-style sceptical outlook that makes me say, "Well, demons are just superstition, so all these thoughts are just as valid as any other thought, since all these thoughts come from me." But if I remind myself that I am being literally tempted, by the devil, who is Lies, (note the beautiful girl with the forked tail in the painting) then I've been about 90% more likely to be successful in resisting. Because, after all, St. Jerome, St Anthony, all those guys, were tempted for like YEARS by what they called "the spirit of fornication." So worst case scenario, God is putting me through a minor version of what he put St. Anthony through. And how can I feel bad about that? I can only feel honored that God thinks I can deal with this and come out stronger. Edit - thought it was St Jerome in the pic, but it's St Anthony apparently! [/quote] great analysis! thank you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrestia Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 This book also helped me a bit. I might need to read it again. "The Holy Longing: The Search for A Christian Spirituality" by Ronald Rolheiser [url="http://desalescatholicbookstore.com/cart/proddetail.php?prod=0385494181"]http://desalescathol...prod=0385494181[/url] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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