What Appeals To Me In The Priesthood And Religious Life

[PhuturePriest]

Each man finds sacrifice extremely appealing. Men, after all, are made to sacrifice. Whether you choose to be a Priest or to get married, you sacrifice. As Saint Paul says, we should love our wives the way Christ loved us. That is a scary thought at first, when you realize that Christ was hated, tortured so much that the average person would die, and was finally given the most agonizing death the world has ever seen. However, once you think about it more, you realize the great appeal in it. It doesn't make sense at first when you realize it appeals to you, but the only logical explanation is this: men are called to suffering and sacrifice. We are called to sacrifice what we want for the benefit of others. We are called to suffer through every stage in our lives, and we are especially called to carry this on in our vocation. This is why it is so fitting that Priests wear black. Black is the color of death, and when Priests wear black, it symbolizes that they have died to themselves. As a Priest or Religious, you sacrifice your sexuality, your freedom, and even at times, your family, friends, and most importantly, your very life. This aspect of Religious life and the Priesthood appeals so very much to me. I want nothing more than to sacrifice everything I have and everything my body wants for the good of God and the Church. I want nothing more than to dedicate myself totally to the love of my life and for his people, and I will never be completely happy until I do. I am willing to do anything for him, because ultimately, anything that happens to me is for my own good. I have lived a life without God, and I never want to return to it. No, I will not choose the life of sin and selfishness again. Rather, I will choose the life of pain, suffering, sacrifice, and ultimately: complete joy that can never be taken away from you. And for me, there is no better way to do that than to give myself completely to God as a Diocesan Priest or as a Friar with the Franciscan Brothers Minor.

[Pax_et bonum]

"It saddens me when a girl [/guy] talks just too much about what she might have to give up. Again, I say, that is not the language of love. And following Christ is a matter of love. When you are in love, you want only to be with the loved one and share whatever lot is his. If I am back to love again, it is because that is the whole explanation of what is stirring in your heart. [b]Oh, yes, there is pain in partings, pinch of material surrenders, but that is merely incidental to the wonder of being loved[/b]." I took this from MarysLF "An open letter" thread (emphasis mine).
When I read your post, red flags went up. Priesthood and religious life aren't about masochism. I understand where you're coming from, but remember that sacrifice is not an end in and of itself. It's not even a way to grow closer to God but a means to be able to be unhindered in that pursuit.

[Tally Marx]

There is something beautiful in the thought of taking up one's cross and following in the footsteps of Christ! It takes a special kind of person to know how to suffer well and to appreciate said suffering. Saint Padre Pio is a good example, and one of my favorite saints,

But Saint Therese would tell us that, with God, we lose to gain. God doesn't just call for sacrifice for the sake of sacrifice, any more than Jesus died for the sake of dying. There is a positive to every negative when it comes to suffering. It would not do to ignore either aspect of the Cross.

Edited February 27, 2012 by Tally Marx

[PhuturePriest]

Well, back to what I've been doing for the past few weeks. That is, to explain my words more clearly...

I do realize that you do get gain out of it. You don't go through pain if you know there's no reward for it. If God didn't look kindly upon sacrificing your life for another person, no one would do it. We sacrifice to gain. This Lent, I sacrificed pop, sweets, limited myself to only one hour of computer a day, sleep on the floor every few nights, etc, not because it's fun to sacrifice, but because I want to grow closer to Jesus and sacrifice for him so he may look kindly upon me and my efforts, and ultimately to grow closer to him. All of which are gains. I simply wanted to get across that sacrifice is a good thing, and that all men are called to sacrifice, and that deep down, it appeals to us all. Men were made to sacrifice and die to themselves. It's one of our primary vocations, no matter what you do in life. When you do selfish things, you are being contrary to your very nature, and to what you are called to do. This is merely the point I was conveying, and that this is part of what appeals to me so much in the Priesthood and Religious life. I have heard people tell me "You know, if you become a Priest, you can't date or anything." And I only have on reply: "Yes, I lose some privileges and pleasures, but I gain so much!"

[Strictlyinkblot]

I've come to realise over the past few months that though I will give things up when/if I enter the cloister they are like worthless pebbles. I was so sad at the thought of giving up a lot of fiction, then, when I walked into the community room of a monastery I was doing a live in I saw over two thousand fiction novels, all my favourite authors were there. It was almost as if God himself was courting me, saying 'Come, Beloved, don't worry.' There are always sacrifices but sometimes (me included) we can focus a little too much on them. Almost like a child who's cut her finger and runs to her parent for a kiss and a plaster, even if its only a nick.

[seraphic000]

[quote name='Tally Marx' timestamp='1330302652' post='2393392']
....Saint Therese would tell us that, with God, we lose to gain. God doesn't just call for sacrifice for the sake of sacrifice, any more than Jesus died for the sake of dying. There is a positive to every negative when it comes to suffering. It would not do to ignore either aspect of the Cross.
[/quote]

Agreed. Perhaps what you mean, FuturePriest, is that these sacrifices enable you to follow God with a more open heart. The sacrifices of chaste celibacy allow you to train yourself to love [i]as God loves[/i], without partiality; the sacrifice of poverty means you're more intent on storing up treasures in heaven; etc.

I think this goes deeper into the reason why the sacrificial aspect of the priesthood appeals to you (or maybe it's because the notion of sacrifice isn't emphasized enough both [i]in[/i] and [i]out[/i]side the Church!).

Whenever we sit down to pray we can sometimes tell the Lord, "I'll do whatever you want, I'll go wherever you want me to go, unless...except for...but...[insert attachment here]." Maybe we don't want to be far from our family and friends or perform a certain ministry. Maybe we have our own idea of what our calling should be like. Whatever it is, we must be aware of that little bit we still cling to and to discern just how far we are willing to go to work in the Lord's vineyard.

God won't force us to make these sacrifices. He'll certainly invite us to follow Him more closely.. ~*humming the tune "I will follow Him" from the movie [i]Sister Act[/i] now...oh dear...*~

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1330296573' post='2393335']
"It saddens me when a girl [/guy] talks just too much about what she might have to give up. Again, I say, that is not the language of love. And following Christ is a matter of love. When you are in love, you want only to be with the loved one and share whatever lot is his. If I am back to love again, it is because that is the whole explanation of what is stirring in your heart. [b]Oh, yes, there is pain in partings, pinch of material surrenders, but that is merely incidental to the wonder of being loved[/b]." I took this from MarysLF "An open letter" thread (emphasis mine).
When I read your post, red flags went up. Priesthood and religious life aren't about masochism. I understand where you're coming from, but remember that sacrifice is not an end in and of itself. It's not even a way to grow closer to God but a means to be able to be unhindered in that pursuit.
[/quote]
I thought the same thing, but I didn't know how to say it. Well said, Pax!

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='seraphic000' timestamp='1330357955' post='2393583']
Agreed. Perhaps what you mean, FuturePriest, is that these sacrifices enable you to follow God with a more open heart. The sacrifices of chaste celibacy allow you to train yourself to love [i]as God loves[/i], without partiality; the sacrifice of poverty means you're more intent on storing up treasures in heaven; etc.

I think this goes deeper into the reason why the sacrificial aspect of the priesthood appeals to you (or maybe it's because the notion of sacrifice isn't emphasized enough both [i]in[/i] and [i]out[/i]side the Church!).

Whenever we sit down to pray we can sometimes tell the Lord, "I'll do whatever you want, I'll go wherever you want me to go, unless...except for...but...[insert attachment here]." Maybe we don't want to be far from our family and friends or perform a certain ministry. Maybe we have our own idea of what our calling should be like. Whatever it is, we must be aware of that little bit we still cling to and to discern just how far we are willing to go to work in the Lord's vineyard.

God won't force us to make these sacrifices. He'll certainly invite us to follow Him more closely.. ~*humming the tune "I will follow Him" from the movie [i]Sister Act[/i] now...oh dear...*~
[/quote]

These are the words I was looking for! I'm pretty good at writing speeches (I think, anyway), but sometimes I just can't find the words I want. Thank you for explaining what I'm trying to say.

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

So, for me, part of my feeling called to the religious life is loving my Lord and not counting the cost of the things I will have to give up. Part of to "not count the cost" is to not think about every little sacrifice you will make when you leave. Part of the Love that I have for my Lord and the reason I have been following my vocation is because I have chosen to "give and not to count the cost". I am not keeping track of all the things I will leave. The desire, for me at least, is not just to "give up x, y, and z for God" but instead to love Him with my whole life.

"Teach us to give and not to count the cost." ~ St. Ignatius Loyola

[Pax_et bonum]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1330319510' post='2393495']
This Lent, I sacrificed pop, sweets, limited myself to only one hour of computer a day, sleep on the floor every few nights, etc, not because it's fun to sacrifice, but because I want to grow closer to Jesus and sacrifice for him so he may look kindly upon me and my efforts, and ultimately to grow closer to him.[/quote]
My priest was talking about Lent in his homily Sunday, obviously (read in a Snape voice), and later more personally at youth group. He said he never gives anything up for Lent, that it's stupid--this is his opinion, you can agree or disagree. Anyone can give up coke or candy or TV, etc., which takes me back to the "pinch of material surrenders," unless you have an inordinate desire or addiction for those, which you should probably get help for... Instead, he encouraged us to fast from [insert list of various petty sins]. Examples: die to self by giving people compliments instead of gossiping about them, or go out of your way to say hi to that person who drives you crazy--trust me, that one's a killer. Think of your sin that bothers you the most and do the opposite.

We like to try to choose our sufferings because then we think we can better endure them because we took them upon ourselves, but then we are just depending on ourselves to get through it. It can encourage pride. We would do better do accept the trials and sufferings given us for then we hopefully realize we can't go it alone and that we have to rely totally on God. I'm not saying don't give up things if you are inclined to do so, just that there's more to it than giving up sweets. Giving up soda will not bring you closer to God in and of itself; I think we all know that. In addition, we ought to make sure our penance is true penance. I struggle with the sin of pride--yeah, I know, you're going: REALLY? NO! Not her! --so for me sleeping on the floor would be a greater temptation to be prideful than any good the physical discomfort would do, and I'm not insinuating anything about you, FP. My Lenten promises are things I know I will fail/have already failed at so in addition to what good I can get out of the promises by themselves, I will hopefully grow in humility and dependence on God as well.

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1330400074' post='2393915']
My priest was talking about Lent in his homily Sunday, obviously (read in a Snape voice), and later more personally at youth group. He said he never gives anything up for Lent, that it's stupid--this is his opinion, you can agree or disagree. Anyone can give up coke or candy or TV, etc., which takes me back to the "pinch of material surrenders," unless you have an inordinate desire or addiction for those, which you should probably get help for... Instead, he encouraged us to fast from [insert list of various petty sins]. Examples: die to self by giving people compliments instead of gossiping about them, or go out of your way to say hi to that person who drives you crazy--trust me, that one's a killer. Think of your sin that bothers you the most and do the opposite.

We like to try to choose our sufferings because then we think we can better endure them because we took them upon ourselves, but then we are just depending on ourselves to get through it. It can encourage pride. We would do better do accept the trials and sufferings given us for then we hopefully realize we can't go it alone and that we have to rely totally on God. I'm not saying don't give up things if you are inclined to do so, just that there's more to it than giving up sweets. Giving up soda will not bring you closer to God in and of itself; I think we all know that. In addition, we ought to make sure our penance is true penance. I struggle with the sin of pride--yeah, I know, you're going: REALLY? NO! Not her! --so for me sleeping on the floor would be a greater temptation to be prideful than any good the physical discomfort would do, and I'm not insinuating anything about you, FP. My Lenten promises are things I know I will fail/have already failed at so in addition to what good I can get out of the promises by themselves, I will hopefully grow in humility and dependence on God as well.
[/quote]

I don't focus on what I'm losing at all. When I think of the Priesthood, and how much I want to be a Priest, I never think "I'll never have sex, but that's okay." That thought never occurs to my mind. This is simply made for the people that have trouble letting these things go, and slightly just to talk about my vocation some. Sorry for the confusion.

[Tally Marx]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1330400074' post='2393915']

My priest was talking about Lent in his homily Sunday, obviously (read in a Snape voice), and later more personally at youth group. He said he never gives anything up for Lent, that it's stupid--this is his opinion, you can agree or disagree. Anyone can give up coke or candy or TV, etc., which takes me back to the "pinch of material surrenders," unless you have an inordinate desire or addiction for those, which you should probably get help for... Instead, he encouraged us to fast from [insert list of various petty sins]. Examples: die to self by giving people compliments instead of gossiping about them, or go out of your way to say hi to that person who drives you crazy--trust me, that one's a killer. Think of your sin that bothers you the most and do the opposite.

We like to try to choose our sufferings because then we think we can better endure them because we took them upon ourselves, but then we are just depending on ourselves to get through it. It can encourage pride. We would do better do accept the trials and sufferings given us for then we hopefully realize we can't go it alone and that we have to rely totally on God. I'm not saying don't give up things if you are inclined to do so, just that there's more to it than giving up sweets. Giving up soda will not bring you closer to God in and of itself; I think we all know that. In addition, we ought to make sure our penance is true penance. I struggle with the sin of pride--yeah, I know, you're going: REALLY? NO! Not her! --so for me sleeping on the floor would be a greater temptation to be prideful than any good the physical discomfort would do, and I'm not insinuating anything about you, FP. My Lenten promises are things I know I will fail/have already failed at so in addition to what good I can get out of the promises by themselves, I will hopefully grow in humility and dependence on God as well.
[/quote]

I like to DO things for Lent. I refrain from so many things, have so many sins of omission and pass up so many chances for charity, that the things I need to give up are swamped by the things I need to DO. For me, it is easy to refrain from something. It's not so easy to take action. I'm lazy...

[HopefulBride]

[quote name='Pax_et bonum' timestamp='1330400074' post='2393915']
My priest was talking about Lent in his homily Sunday, obviously (read in a Snape voice), and later more personally at youth group. He said he never gives anything up for Lent, that it's stupid--this is his opinion, you can agree or disagree. Anyone can give up coke or candy or TV, etc., which takes me back to the "pinch of material surrenders," unless you have an inordinate desire or addiction for those, which you should probably get help for... Instead, he encouraged us to fast from [insert list of various petty sins]. Examples: die to self by giving people compliments instead of gossiping about them, or go out of your way to say hi to that person who drives you crazy--trust me, that one's a killer. Think of your sin that bothers you the most and do the opposite.

We like to try to choose our sufferings because then we think we can better endure them because we took them upon ourselves, but then we are just depending on ourselves to get through it. It can encourage pride. We would do better do accept the trials and sufferings given us for then we hopefully realize we can't go it alone and that we have to rely totally on God. I'm not saying don't give up things if you are inclined to do so, just that there's more to it than giving up sweets. Giving up soda will not bring you closer to God in and of itself; I think we all know that. In addition, we ought to make sure our penance is true penance. I struggle with the sin of pride--yeah, I know, you're going: REALLY? NO! Not her! --so for me sleeping on the floor would be a greater temptation to be prideful than any good the physical discomfort would do, and I'm not insinuating anything about you, FP. My Lenten promises are things I know I will fail/have already failed at so in addition to what good I can get out of the promises by themselves, I will hopefully grow in humility and dependence on God as well.
[/quote]

I Like your priest. A couple of years ago I started doing things for Lent, things that I believed would help me grow in my spirituality (daily adoration, adding one of the offices etc.) This year however, I have decided to give up something that is a big issue for me and is a big cross I bear. It is not tangible but it is very real for me (I can tend to be very closed off and super private) That is not a bad thing in and of itself but through prayer I have realized that it is something the Lord is calling to give up. This closeness has led me to outright LIE (by omission) to folks about my discernment!! I know now that I cannot wish to be private if I want to belong to Him, because by belonging to Him I will belong to all of His children.

We'll see how I do this Lenten season... I have to take it hour by hour. The Lord presented me with an opportunity to be open this past week and I was able to embrace that cross and not shy around the question. Let us hope I am able to rely on Him for strength and continue this way.

[Indwelling Trinity]

[quote name='FuturePriest387' timestamp='1330292100' post='2393308']
Each man finds sacrifice extremely appealing. Men, after all, are made to sacrifice. Whether you choose to be a Priest or to get married, you sacrifice. As Saint Paul says, we should love our wives the way Christ loved us. That is a scary thought at first, when you realize that Christ was hated, tortured so much that the average person would die, and was finally given the most agonizing death the world has ever seen. However, once you think about it more, you realize the great appeal in it. It doesn't make sense at first when you realize it appeals to you, but the only logical explanation is this: men are called to suffering and sacrifice. We are called to sacrifice what we want for the benefit of others. We are called to suffer through every stage in our lives, and we are especially called to carry this on in our vocation. This is why it is so fitting that Priests wear black. Black is the color of death, and when Priests wear black, it symbolizes that they have died to themselves. As a Priest or Religious, you sacrifice your sexuality, your freedom, and even at times, your family, friends, and most importantly, your very life. This aspect of Religious life and the Priesthood appeals so very much to me. I want nothing more than to sacrifice everything I have and everything my body wants for the good of God and the Church. I want nothing more than to dedicate myself totally to the love of my life and for his people, and I will never be completely happy until I do. I am willing to do anything for him, because ultimately, anything that happens to me is for my own good. I have lived a life without God, and I never want to return to it. No, I will not choose the life of sin and selfishness again. Rather, I will choose the life of pain, suffering, sacrifice, and ultimately: complete joy that can never be taken away from you. And for me, there is no better way to do that than to give myself completely to God as a Diocesan Priest or as a Friar with the Franciscan Brothers Minor.
[/quote]

I understand what you are saying and I dont think you are being masochistic at all. Things like this are so very hard to explain to others. St. Paul Says..." I have counted all things as lost that I may come to know Christ Jesus and the power of His resurrection."

Love wishes to sacrifice itself for the Beloved.... "wherever you go I shall go".... Our Beloved, allowed himself to be rejected and despised by all. He embraced death on the cross in order to reconcile us to the Father in Love.

Love wishes to imitate the Beloved, Not for the sake of suffering but in order to be conformed to the image and likeness of Him offering Himself to the Father in Love in hope that we and others may come to know the joy of future resurrection; that perfect life of love in the Trinity. For me, it is also the deisre to return love for Love!

Sometimes Love compels us to do things that seem to others to be foolish... Is that not the folly of the cross? Yet each cross willingly embraced becomes a resurrection experience as we become more conformed to the will of God. This is not to negate joy in following Jesus, but it is a joy that the world does not understand.

My gut tells me that what you are speaking of is sacrificial love and not masochism; but such things are so very hard to put into words. Just remember that sacrifice does not alway come in the ways we imagine it. Sacrifice comes in many disguises; sometimes even in the inability to make the sacrifices one desires and yet to accept that lovingly as the will of the Father.

For me the greatest sacrifice one can offer to God is to embrace His will lovingly no matter what it may look like, for every cross willingly embraced becomes a resurrection experience as we become more identified with the will of God. What can give more joy to the heart of God than to lovingly embrace his desires for us?

I know this sounds very simplistic for there is a whole theology behind this which takes years to undertand and embrace fully, in fact it is a lifetime process of learning to live in the Holy will of God and It is in no way easy, at least not for me.

Elizabeth of the Trinity said it well... " A Carmelite is one who has seen Jesus offering himself to the Father as a ransom for many and entering into that great vision of His love has willed to give herself as He did." This is not true only for Carmelites but for any priestly or religious vocation.

My prayers for you my friend as you continue your journey into God.
.

Edited February 29, 2012 by Indwelling Trinity

[PhuturePriest]

[quote name='Indwelling Trinity' timestamp='1330551599' post='2394635']
I understand what you are saying and I dont think you are being masochistic at all. Things like this are so very hard to explain to others. St. Paul Says..." I have counted all things as lost that I may come to know Christ Jesus and the power of His resurrection."

Love wishes to sacrifice itself for the Beloved.... "wherever you go I shall go".... Our Beloved, allowed himself to be rejected and despised by all. He embraced death on the cross in order to reconcile us to the Father in Love.

Love wishes to imitate the Beloved, Not for the sake of suffering but in order to be conformed to the image and likeness of Him offering Himself to the Father in Love in hope that we and others may come to know the joy of future resurrection; that perfect life of love in the Trinity. For me, it is also the deisre to return love for Love!

Sometimes Love compels us to do things that seem to others to be foolish... Is that not the folly of the cross? Yet each cross willingly embraced becomes a resurrection experience as we become more conformed to the will of God. This is not to negate joy in following Jesus, but it is a joy that the world does not understand.

My gut tells me that what you are speaking of is sacrificial love and not masochism; but such things are so very hard to put into words. Just remember that sacrifice does not alway come in the ways we imagine it. Sacrifice comes in many disguises; sometimes even in the inability to make the sacrifices one desires and yet to accept that lovingly as the will of the Father.

For me the greatest sacrifice one can offer to God is to embrace His will lovingly no matter what it may look like, for every cross willingly embraced becomes a resurrection experience as we become more identified with the will of God. What can give more joy to the heart of God than to lovingly embrace his desires for us?

I know this sounds very simplistic for there is a whole theology behind this which takes years to undertand and embrace fully, in fact it is a lifetime process of learning to live in the Holy will of God and It is in no way easy, at least not for me.

Elizabeth of the Trinity said it well... " A Carmelite is one who has seen Jesus offering himself to the Father as a ransom for many and entering into that great vision of His love has willed to give herself as He did." This is not true only for Carmelites but for any priestly or religious vocation.

My prayers for you my friend as you continue your journey into God.
.
[/quote]

Thank you for this post. Yes, I was referring to sacrificial love. What brought this on was so many people saying "I would love to be a Priest, but I don't think I could give up my family", or the timeless gem "Religious life is great, but I couldn't imagine not getting married". It doesn't matter what you can imagine, it matters what God has called you to. If he has called you to stand on the top of a tree for twenty years, so be it. He made you for a special purpose, and whatever He wants you to do, you will be happiest there. Yes, even if you must give up your family (Though this is quite a rare instance in the first place. Usually you will simply not see them as much), and yes, you won't be able to have sexual pleasure, but these things do not matter. As Tim Staples says: "When the Lord bids you come, how can you say no?"

Of course, there is much more to loving Christ than giving things up for him. You summed up what truly loving Christ is quite well. I would say that it is a good practice to give up earthly pleasures from time to time (This Lent I have given up all pop, as I drink unheard of amounts of it, and I have restricted my time on the computer and such), but this is not what loving Christ is solely about.